//------------------------------// // I Make Tea // Story: Free to Fly // by I am not a Dalek //------------------------------// Chapter 14- I Make Tea I would've thought that finding out the truth about Scootaloo would make me feel better, or happier, but now I feel as if I'm worrying more than ever. Guilt bubbles up inside of me as I realise that I could have, should have, helped her sooner. I just thought she wanted to keep her family problems private. I also hate to admit it, but I was partially afraid of her dad too, which was stupid considering I don't really care that much about my job since I have a lot of backup plans and the Wonderbolts to support me. I wish I noticed sooner, noticed that her desperate want of acceptance from me was a cry for help. Why didn't I realise sooner? Soarin', who I had been leaning against, shifts beside me, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Are you alright, Dash?" Soar asks gently, carefully, as if I'm about to break. I nod, ever so slightly, almost afraid of breaking myself. I can tell the screams are coming back, along with the guilt I begin to feel a lot worse than I ever have before. My stomach clenches and twists against itself. Sweat pours down my body. I feel cold. I feel weak. I feel empty. "Dashie?" Soarin' says in concern, as he wraps a wing around me to stop my shaking form. I gasp for air as the room spins around me, everything blurs into one. "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine." I whisper under my breath over and over again. Soarin's voice is muffled as he urgently tries to sooth me. I am unable to breath, unable to think straight. Everything is falling apart. Tears roll down my cheeks as I sob uncontrollably. I'm a failure. I should've helped Scootaloo before; I should've helped when I first became her big sister. I don't deserve to be a big sister to a filly as amazing as her. Still, I need to get over myself. I'm being selfish: making all of this about me. I need to help Scootaloo, somehow. I need to get over my stupid fears. Finally, my tears begin to subside, my breathing becomes more even and Soarin's voice becomes clear to my ears. I carefully wipe away my tears and shake my head in embarrassment. How could I be such a fool? There's a little filly who needs me and all I seem to care about is my stupid fears. I take in a shaky breath and turn to face Soarin'. "I'm sorry, I just feel so guilty. I never realised that she was suffering so badly. How many other ponies have been suffering and have turned to me for help?" "You can't save everypony, Dashie. Anyway, just be thankful that you've helped Scoots now." Soarin' glances at me, checking to see if I'm okay. I stand up and walk into the kitchen, boiling the kettle. "Do you want a cup of tea, Soar?" I ask. My mum used to always make me a cup of tea if I had a bad day at school or if I had a big exam that day. I've made it tradition now to have a cup of tea whenever I feel stressed out because tea always makes you feel better. "Can I have a coffee instead, please?" he calls from the sitting room. I roll my eyes and make the coffee first before bringing both his and my drink into the sitting room. "Soar... I want to go back to the Gorge," I mumble weakly. Soarin' glances at me nervously and breathes in a shaky breath, "If you want to then I'll go with you... but make sure you don't push yourself." "Can we go now?" I ask, wanting to get it over with but at the same time not wanting to go at all. Soarin' nods and guilt instantly rushes over me, I know that he probably really doesn't want to go but I know that I have to do this; otherwise I will never get rid of my nightmares. I'm just being selfish really, dragging him along with me, but I also know that I can't do it alone. I want to be brave but recently I haven't really wanted to fit the title of 'Rainbow Danger Dash'. "You don't have to if-" I start. "No, no. Dashie, I need to come with you." Soarin' cuts me off. "What if something happens to you? I have to be there to protect you." I open my mouth ready to argue, but I can tell from the look of determination on his face that he won’t change his decision and that, no matter what I say, he will refuse to stay behind. "Come on then," I mumble in defeat, dragging my hooves as I walk towards the door. We stop at the edge of the cloud that supports my home and I look across Ponyville. In the distance I can just about make out the Gorge, for the past month I have been avoiding looking that way and even now I feel sick. Nonetheless, I have no other choice. I can’t back out of this, I have to be brave. I have to act like the Rainbow Dash that everypony knows. Soarin' puts a hoof around me in encouragement before he stretches out his light blue wings and shoots off into the sky. The force of his wings against the air blows my mane back and I stand frozen in shock for a few moments before setting off after him. I may be scared, but I can't let him win this race. I haven't changed that much. I close my eyes and race after him, paying attention to every little detail as I fly to keep my mind off of the fact that we're heading towards the place where we both almost died less than a month ago. I feel the wind brush through every strand of my mane. I feel it caress my feathers as I flap against its strong force. It is then that I remember how much flying comforts me. When I open my eyes I find that I have caught up with Soarin' and we're drawing closer and closer to the Gorge. My heart begins to pound and I almost stop and fly back home so fast that I perform a Sonic Rainboom; however I don't because I can't leave Soarin' behind. Soarin' looks at me and smiles, but I can see right through it, I can tell that he's absolutely terrified which is why I can't let anything go wrong. We slowly descend and land on the edge of the Gorge. It seems as if nopony has been there since the day of the accident. Boulders lie haphazardly across the opening; broken parts of the stands from the show stick out from the piles of rocks. At the far end of the Gorge there is a small opening where some rocks have been cleared away, and I realise that was where we were trapped. Soarin' stands beside me and I can feel him shaking. I gently wrap my wing around him and lean against him. I try and stay strong but I can feel the flashbacks trying to push their way into my mind. Still, I refuse to give up. I need to go further. I need to go back in the cave.