//------------------------------// // The Last Laugh // Story: M.A.G.E. // by Awesomedude17 //------------------------------// M.A.G.E. By Awesomedude17 The eight mares froze at the sight. Dmitri healed Reznov with the last injector he had. Johnathan aimed at what was once Pierre. Romero took a step back. And Sombra just smiled. "What have you done?" Celestia demanded. "I needed a sacrifice, and a vessel. I would've gotten the azure mare, and gotten rid of one of the elements, but then they came, so I had to improvise. He was useful, but he was a pawn, either way." Sombra replied, smirking as the disfigured man. "You, used him?" Johnathan replied, still keeping a bead on the former king. "Of course, I'd have chosen any other too." "Fucking monster." Johnathan replied quietly. "Shut up, amigo." "And who are you supposed to be?" Sombra addressed the Southern soldier. "Colonel Johnathan Lee Richardson, Valor Industries, the one who's going to bring the terrorist threat like you to your death!" Sombra just smirked. "Cute." Sombra fired his gun once at Johnathan's chest, hitting his left lung, and collapsing it. "Johnathan! We need to move!" Romero yelled out. "DA! Let us go!" Dmitri said as he held his friend over his shoulder. Twilight grabbed Trixie with her magic and carried her out. "Hey!" "Oh, shut up!" Rarity snapped back. "You've been struck by lighting just last night!" "In that case, you're too hurt to so much as stand, so just take this, alright!" Twilight spoke sternly. Trixie turned towards the mare as best as she could and snarled. "This way, we can find our-" Romero said as he accidentally hit a switch, separating the humans from the mares. "I hate this place." Luna muttered to herself, after seeing what all the moronic traps had done to her. "I have an idea, follow me!" Celestia said, leading the group as Sombra came into the room, and found the mares running away. "HEH HEH HEH HEH!" "Motherfucker!" "Where are we?" "I have no idea!" "Everyone, calm down!" Reznov said as he fired a round out of his IZ-443 to make the others alert. "Jesus man, are you crazy? We've got a fucking shadow monster possessing a guy with an SMG out there." Romero snapped back. "He is no better than me up close." Dmitri said as he pumped the slide to release the long-fired-off shell that remained in the gun. "Well, true..." Johnathan said nervously. "Hey, dumbass, this ain't the time!" "Be quiet Romero!" "Be quiet, both of you!" The two Dmitris yelled out at the same time, making the two jump. "You are supposed to be a team!" "We are closer than a team, the two of us, we brothers in all but blood!" "That is one of the things that made S.V.E.R. the dominating force in the Shadow War!" "I thought that was the fact that you had a lot of people to kill off." Romero retorted. "Tell me, have you ever heard of... 'The Sunset Falcon?'" Dmitri replied. "What are you... wait, you're that shotgunner, the one who killed thousands!" "No, 1006." "'Cludin' yer newest kill?" "Yes, err..." "Johnathan." "Dmitri Vulakh." "Romero Lopez." "Dmitri Reznov." "Wait, you are both named..." "Dmitri, yes. Call me Reznov, it is easier that way." "Well I'll be damned." "We'll all be damned if we don go an' stop Sombra now, Romero!" "Agreed, we need a plan!" Reznov said. "Hey, that's an MG, right?" "PSK MG, slow, but powerful." Reznov said proudly. "Right, I got lots of explosives, mines, grenades and grenade launcher, suppressed weapons too." "Explains your flimsy armor." Vulakh said as he noted the disparagingly lightweight, and unarmored mesh composite. "Don't need it. I'm the demolitions guy." "Ah got less ordnance, but Ah got some smokes and flashers, plus Ah'm pretty good wit the knife." Romero said. "I was built to get close to the enemy, and take what he can give me, I can hack many terminals, and resist anything that tries to kill me." "Alright, so! Reznov, you go outside the exit, set up a no go zone, fire at anything not ours. Johnathan will draw out Sombra where he can, I'll lead the mares outta here, and Dmitri, you try to get close! If we can't kill him, we don't go home, got it?" "DA!" "Yes!" "Hell yeah!" "Alright, we got a plan, let's go! I pray that those mares are alright!" "Yes, I just hope Rarity and Fluttershy are alright." "What's so special about them anyhow?" Johnathan asked, not particularly liking the two much from the show as much as the ones he connected to better. "They nursed us back to health!" "Even though that damn rabbit kept hopping on our casts." "Heh, a fucking rabbit?" "Do you want your plan to work, or do you want a deathwish?" Dmitri said in a tone that was gravely serious. "Y-You're right, let's go, now." The group went through the tunnels, trying to find their way around the castle. "Consarnit, another dead end!" Applejack huffed out in frustration. "Hold on for a moment..." Celestia went to the wall, and pressed a stone in. A trapdoor opened below the group, and they fell through, with the door closing in on the group, just as Sombra came in. "GRRRRR..." "Hey, YOU!!! Eat explosives!" Sombra turned to see a grenade fly towards him. He grabbed the grenade and threw it around a corner without much effort, and let it explode. Romero was holding his rifle, aimed to kill. "HYAH!!!" Sombra jumped to the side, then ran forward, taking a strafe every so often to throw off Romero. What really surprised Romero was when he pulled the trigger for his gun. *CCK* "JAMMED!?" "Oh look, you forgot to maintain your weapon." Sombra said as he took a knife, and drove it into Romero's right shoulder. Dropping the gun, Romero replied in kind with a knife stab to the kneecap. Had it been unarmored, that would've crippled Sombra. Sombra kneed the man, and entered a combat pose. "You should not be this good, you just got a body!" "You'd be surprised at how much your traitorous ally remembered everything about fighting, like in January 26th, 2025, in the Copper Hills Relay." "Wait, that guy w- OPH!" Sombra proceeded to lift up Romero, and slam the struggling man's back onto his leg. "GAH, FUCK!" "Any last words?" Sombra asked as he raised his knife. "I do." Sombra ducked when he heard the sound and ducked, then felt a stinging sensation in his left hand. It had a hole in it. "HURR!" Dmitri pumped the slide and prepared for another shot. Sombra fired at what he thought was the sight with his pistol. It missed. "Heh, even if it wasn't broken, it was still a garnish to my gear." Sombra ran off. "You okay?" "Got one in the shoulder, but I'll be fine." "You will be okay later, I have no more healing serum left." "Your friend?" "Da." "It's alright, let's kill that asshole." "Oh yes! Let's." "Sombra, there ya are!" *BA-BA-BANG BA-BA-BANG* "You go help him out, I've came to get the mares before they fell though a trapdoor." "Right. And Romero..." "Yes?" "You are welcome to join us at S.V.E.R. if you like, we always have room for people with your skills." "Depends if I live long enough, and if I care enough." Romero said as he ran off the expansive castle. Dmitri took out his last gas grenade, and ran off to help his ally. "It's dark here!" "Where are we?" Twilight lit up her horn, and illuminated the room. "Okay girls, let's get through this place, calmly, and carefully now." "Hello!" "That's Romero! HEY, ROMERO!!!" Rainbow Dash yelled out as she flew off. "Dangit, Rainbow!" Applejack ran off to catch the cocky mare. The rest of the group sighed, and followed the two, finally finding them, with Romero clutching his shoulder. "Oh my, what happened?" "Got stabbed, it's not fatal, but it hurts like hell." Romero replied. "Hold on..." Celestia said quietly as she put her horn to the wound, and magically healed it shut. After flexing it a few times, he smiled. "Damn chica, that's good." "Well, when you've lived as long as I have, you'd have to learn these types of spells." "Alright, we need to leave, now! Follow me, Johnathan and Vulakh are taking care of Sombra." "What about Reznov?" "He has a job now, lockdown." "Lockdown?" A few slow-paced shots. *BA BA BA BA BA BA BA* Sombra ran back in, not wanting to be torn to shreds. Reznov loved these types of people. If they fail to go through, they get shot. If they did, he wasn't all too horribly off in defense. Either way, Sombra was a dead man. Johnathan on the other hand had nearly escape his brush with Sombra alive. The king had managed to take his own weapon from his, and disassembled it by pure accident, while also losing a critical part. He has reduced to using his M9 and a knife to defend himself. And Sombra just came back. "You, what sorcery have you done?" Johnathan fired a few shots, but the king was only hit non-fatally. "HAHAHAHAAAA!!!" He wasn't like this in the episodes I saw. Johnathan tried getting close, only to get thrown over the shoulder of the king, and fell onto his face. "You are supposed to be highly trained soldiers, and you're barely putting a fight. Disgraceful." "At least, I'm trying to put in a damn fight, you disgusting, little, fuck!" Johnathan yelled out as he fired a shot at Sombra, dead center. "GAH!" Sombra fell backwards. "If ya weren't wearin' any armor, ya'd be a dead one, ya hear?" "Is it the same for you?" Sombra said as he fired off a round at Johnathan, dead center. "JOHNATHAN!!!" Sombra got up and ran to off as Romero went to his friend's side, and check out the injuries. "Heh, should'da learnt ta be a medic they said, ya need ta they said... they were right..." Johnathan coughed a bit, right before coughing up some blood. "Johnathan!" "It's a punctured lung, maybe a ruptured heart artery." Twilight said as she examined the wound with magic. "So he's gonna die?" "He'll bleed out, and I doubt pony blood would help him." "SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!" Romero looked at his dying friend, and was met with more blood to the face. "I'm coming Sarah... I'm sorry I for crashin' inta ya, I was really drunk... and stupid...*Cough* I'm real sorry..." Johnathan wheezed, and took his last breath, right before going limp. Romero had no words to say, he had just saw the death of his closest friend in Valor, and probably in real life, dead. "Romero?" Applejack trotted over to the soldier. "Take his body, and get out of here, I have to do this, now." Romero said as he took his rifle, and began to look around the castle to look for the monster. Celestia lifted up Johnathan and placed him on her back. "We need to leave, this something only they can do at the moment." "Right, sister!" Luna agreed. The group agreed quickly after that, and went out of the castle. Reznov took aim, but then noticed that it wasn't Sombra, and took his finger off the trigger. *BMBMM* Reznov turned around and found himself getting tackled by Sombra. Reznov punched him in the face, and then tossed him off, picked his weapon and fired. Unfortunately, S.V.E.R. weapons were rather old. *CICK* And his weapon jammed at the worst possible moment. "Nyet!" "Oh look, you've jammed your gun." Sombra ran forwards, and grabbed Reznov by the throat. A magical blast threw him off before Reznov felt the first signed of unconsciousness. "Reznov, run!" Twilight said, flying around, firing magic blasts at the possessed human. "Insolent wretch!" Vulakh and Romero came to the scene, and saw what was going on. "Dmitri, he's mine!" "No Romero, it's too risky, I'll help you!" "No, he killed my best friend!" "And he tried to kill one of mine, let me help you, we can do this, as a team comrade!" Romero gritted his teeth, and sighed. "Alright, if he doesn't die by bullets, he dies by my knife." "If you say so." Dmitri and Romero ran towards the fight where Reznov was in hand-to-hand combat with the king. "You are good." "Former FSB agent, I've been taught by Spetznaz agents hands-on!" Reznov said as he grabbed a kick Sombra attempted and elbowed his knee. "AHG!!! Maybe I won't kill you when I've conquered your world, maybe I'll make you my personal bodyguard." "In your dreams, suka!" Reznov attempted a punch through a hold in Sombra's defence, only for him to move out of the way and receive a left hook to the cheek. As Reznov dropped to the ground, Sombra grabbed his neck and scowled. "Pathetic." Sombra was then kicked off by Dmitri, who fired a shot from his gun at Sombra's knee, crippling him. "Any last words?" Dmitri said as he aimed his weapon at the king. "... Yes." "Too-" Sombra lunged forward and grabbed his gun. A shot was fired off during the struggle, and Sombra overpowered the soldier. "Do you have any last words?" Sombra said as he aimed the shotgun at Dmitri. "Go to hell!" "You too." *CLCK* "Is pump-action, and not ready." Sombra scowled, before something grabbed him from behind. Romero snuck up on Sombra, and then drove his knife into his gut, and opened up his stomach. He then took out a flashbang, and pulled the pin, right before shoving the thing into his gut, and threw him over the cliff. "RAAAAAAAAAGH!!!" *BANG* The two looked away, and looked down, and grimaced. Romero spat down the cliff and scowled. "Te acompaño en el infierno, pero no hoy!" Romero wiped the dribble off his mouth, and turned towards Dmitri. "You did good distracting him." "Da, it was messy, but he is dead now. I feel sorry for Pierre, he seemed like a good person." "Well I'm glad I'm finally done with that fuck Jose." "Same here, Reznov, let's go home... Reznov?" Reznov did not respond, except with a weak groan. "Reznov?" Vulakh ran up to the fallen man and saw what was wrong. That offhand shot hit Reznov in the Femoral Artery, and he was bleeding out. And there was nothing to heal him with left. "Reznov! Please, do not bleed out, do not bleed out!" Dmitri said as he applied pressure onto the wound. "*Cough cough* Heh, I knew you would care for me until the very end." Reznov said weakly. "It is not the end yet, we can still help you!" "Vulakh, you have been my very best friend, ever since grade school, we have been friends, brother even. Through thick and thin, far and wide. *cough weeze cough cough*" "Reznov, stay with me!" "Vulakh, it is no use, I've almost lost the 5 pints of life..." "You will live, I DEMAND YOU LIVE!!!" "Some orders cannot be fulfilled comrade... but I will tell you this..." "What, what is it?" "My sister, Catherine, remember her?" "Yes, yes, I do!" Vulakh thought back to her. "You thought I was blind to what you... *Cough* ... you thought I didn't see..." "What are you-" Vulakh felt a finger on his lips. "You have my blessing... tell her... what you f-f-feeeeeel..." Reznov went limp. Dmitri place his fingers on Reznov's neck, trying to find a pulse, but no use, it wasn't there. "No." Reznov felt a piece of him die as he looked onto the body of his friend. His teammate. His comrade. His friend. The mares saw this scene unfold, and felt shock. Celestia most of all felt empathy towards Vulakh, and trotted over to the man, and wrapped her wing around the man. Vulakh felt it, and accepted it. It was what he needed the most. One by one, the mares at the scene came to the man, wrapping their hooves and wings around the broken man, helping comfort him in his time of need. Trixie, most of all, held on as tightly as she could with her injuries. Even Romero felt the need to help out this man in his time of need, and joined the hugging. It was a dark time for this group. But the worst had passed. Sombra was gone for good. -November 12th, 3 ALR, 0841 hours- -Location: Hidden Room, Canterlot Castle, Canterlot, Equestria- "We have arranged for you and the bodies of your allies to go home now. It is with my sincerest regards that I thank you for helping save Equestria from this great evil, even if the losses were high and heavy." "Thank you Princess." Romero said as he took a sip out of his beer, while Vulakh took a drink out of a bottle of vodka he kept. "I'll leave you two for the moment, when it is time to go, I'll come back, but please be sober when that happens, or at the very least, capable of controlling yourselves. The two waved off the princess as she left the room. "All of this, for what?" Vulakh spat angrily. "This war, pointless." "That damn satellite uplink at the solar plant, only good for contracts and PR!" "That place in Brazil, disgusting and worthless." "Metals for service, mere decorative trinkets." "Our image, fake as our motto!" "This is the real face of war Romero, and we are stuck in it for all of time." "Do we even want to go back?" "What?" Dmitri asked. "Do we have to go back home? If we go back, we're just going to get thrusted back into battle, and then the two of us will face each other, and one will die. I think we should not bother going back." "You are insane, what of your family, your friends?" Dmitri reasoned. "W-Well..." "Exactly, they cannot be replaced here. I agree, home is hell, but it is still home, regardless of whether or not we like it. If we abandon that home for no reason, we might as well not have a home. Romero, you have friends and family back home, and they need you, you have to help them." "...I guess you're right... what about you, any family?" "I have two brothers and a sister, my parents died from frostbite. I also have a friend, Reznov's sister..." "I overheard something, something about a blessing?" "Sh-Shut up, you bastard!" "Oh my God... Don't worry amigo, I won't tell. But please, just make a move on her when the news of... well... dies down, alright?" Dmitri sighed, and took one more sip. "Gotcha." Dmitri corked the bottle and stood up, just as Celestia and Luna came in. "We have finished, come with us." Luna said, with Romero getting up, and the two followed the princesses to the room where the bodies of Johnathan and Reznov laid. "Ready?" Celestia asked. "Yes." Dmitri said as he lifted up his comrade's body. "S-Sure..." Romero said as he grabbed Johnathan's body. "Alright, time to go home." Celestia and Luna prepared to cast the spell that would send these two back to their homes. Celestia cast her spell to send the Valor agents, while Luna sent the S.V.E.R. agents. "Goodbye Dmitri, you are by far the most wonderful human we've ever met!" Rarity yelled out as tears fell her eyes. Fluttershy returned the smile as she waved goodbye as well. "Later Romero, stay strong, the Rainbow Dash way!" Rainbow Dash cheered on as she floated above Applejack, who just chuckled and adjusted her hat. Twilight and Pinkie Pie just sighed, knowing these two were in good hands now. In two flashes of light, the four men disappeared, leaving behind magical residue. "It is done, they are home now." -October 20th, 2026, 0919 hours- -Location: S.V.E.R. Headquarters, Grozny, Chechen Republic, Russia- -Hours to estimated end of war: 937 hours, 16 minutes- Priya Khan had finished dealing with the latest PR disaster that came with the destruction of her solar plant. And her top soldiers disappeared out of nowhere. It was a bad day. Nothing was going to- CRACK! "BOIZE MOI!!!" She turned around to see those two soldier, who disappeared, appear out of a smoking char stain on her carpet, right before collapsing into a heap. "Oh, you've got to be..." -October 20th, 2026, 1001 hours- -Location: Valor Headquarters, Indeterminate Region, Alaska, The United States of America- -Hours to estimated end of war: 937 hours, 16 minutes- Romero stirred, as he felt something prod his shoulder. "Hey, wake up." "Ugh, where am I?" "The medical wing." Romero woke up, and saw who was talking to him. "Gregory Cavanaugh!" "Yes, your boss." Gregory said. "What the hell happened?" "Aside from appearing out of nowhere while I was discussing a merger with a fellow company with a corpse, not much happened. By the way, you're gonna have to pay for the scorch marks on my hardwood flooring." "Ugh, crap. So, Johnathan..." "Dead, shot through the heart, gonna have to invest in heavier armor if those Raven bullets are just gonna punch through that armor. But enough about me, how was your stay in that new world you discovered?" "Well, it was... What?" Gregory took out a flash drive and showed it to Romero. "Helmet cam was online. It was only one day for us, but this is at least a month's worth of video from this... Equestria." Gregory said, the name of the place leaving a bad taste in his mouth. "Don't you dare harm them." Romero said sternly. "Why bother, we're not able to go back anyway. The most we can hope for to go back is if there was a multi world disaster, and we're called on for a mission. We'll keep on file, but for now, you've been through a lot. Go home, take a load off; you're on paid vacation. We'll call you in in a month or so, see if you're able to come back." "R-Really?" "Of course, it's not every day you kill a shadow king with a knife and a flashbang. By the way, I'm kinda glad it was dark out, The squishing noise was not pleasant, and I bet the results were even worse." Gregory walked out of the door. "Wait! Who're are we merging with?" Gregory sighed, and shook his head. "Confidential information Captain." "Confiden- Wait, I was promoted!?" "Yes, you better lead your platoon well pal, it'll do you good." Gregory said as he left the room. This is not good for reality. -November 12th, 3 ALR, 0954 hours- -Location: Golden Oaks Library, Equestria- The six mares trotted back in, tried at the sudden changes they had to go though. "Man am I glad that's over!" Twilight said. "As am I, darling. It was a trying time for all of us." Rarity added. "Yep, from here on out, nothing will end up ruining everything we stand for!" *CRCKBMMMMM* The six mare shook their heads as they say a strange orb-like object appear out of nowhere. It opened and out came a raccoon. "Aww, it's a raccoon!" Fluttershy said. "..." "Are you okay?" "...What the fuck?" It said a heavy Japanese accent. "What!" "Attention random planet, all your booze are belong to us!" "And your deep-fried tacos!!! Especially your deep-fried tacos!!!" "Shut up Eggman, you fat fuck!" The six mares came out to see a spaceship fly in the sky, with the logo 'Starfox' on the side. "Oh my God, you six are totarry fucked!" "Shut up, you... you... Raccoon!" "And this is how new stories begin for no reason." Pinkie said. -The End-