//------------------------------// // Nuttier Nights // Story: To Love A Non-Brony // by The Forgotten Host //------------------------------// Luna sighed, bored out of her immortal mind as her shift at night court was coming to an end. Not that she cared. After all, almost nopony would show up at night court because they were too busy sleeping. She could always enter the dreamscape, considering the fact there was nopony in sight. However, that would mean she wouldn’t be conscious in the event of a pony actually showing up, no matter how minimal the chances of that happening might be. There was one instance where that actually did happen. The events of that evening were strictly classified, and the princesses only referred to it as ‘The Pineapple Incident’. Luna slightly shuddered at the memory but was brought back into reality by the giggling of a mare she knew all too well. She face hoofed, not believing she didn’t take into consideration the fact that Celestia could waltz into the infirmary at any time just to see TD. “Oh for the love of Faust,” she muttered to no one in particular. She stood up from her throne and walked towards the infirmary, all the while mumbling why she didn’t put him in the dungeon instead. As she approached the closed doors, she could hear what was going on inside the room. Celestia was giggling. Grunting, she magically slammed the door open, earning TD’s and Celestia’s attention. She was sitting on an armless chair next to the bed TD was resting on. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * “Sister dearest,” Luna said, grinding her teeth, less than pleased at the fact TD was holding my hooves, “may We have a word with thee?” I raised an eyebrow at her less than graceful demeanor before remembering the promise I had made to myself and Luna. I sighed at my own stupidity and looked towards TD. “I must take my leave, dear,” I said as Luna’s eye twitched at ‘dear.’ “You need to get some sleep too.” TD, who was still under the influence of Luna’s spell, did not argue and nodded in agreement. Luna and I exited the door, and I gently closed it shut. Luna gestured me to follow her to the throne room. When we got there, she slammed the large doors shut. “DEAR?!” she roared in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “I can explain,” I implored. “Please do! I mean, We hope We did not interrupt thy WEDDING PROPOSAL!” I rubbed the back of my head with a hoof awkwardly “It sounds good with darling?” Luna’s began breathing heavily, her frustration showing “You call him darling too?” I half chuckled uncouthly. “He… calls me darling.” Just then I swore I heard glass break in Luna’s head. She sat down on her haunches in silence. “You two are inseparable,” she admitted emotionlessly. “Luna-” I tried to answer before she shut me up with a hoof in the mouth. “None of it.” She moved close to my face, displaying the bags under her eyes and slightly frazzled ethereal mane. “No excuses, no apologies, no cover-ups. I have reached the end of my patience with you two.” Luna said, placing her hoof slightly above her head for emphasis “There is something wrong with thee Celestia. Thou art not in love with TD Harrison Powell, thou art obsessed with him.” “I don’t think you’re being-” My speech once again was interrupted by her. Something else that was happening all too frequently. “None of it!” She narrowed her eyes. “If I have to foal sit thee just to make sure thou stays the Tartarus away from him, then as Faust as my witness, I will do so till the end of-” Luna was interrupted by a knock on the door. She turned towards the door. “This best be important!” I was beginning to worry about my little sister. The door opened to reveal a pink alicorn with an eyebrow raised in concern. “Am I interrupting something?” she inquired. “Nothing of great significance,” I answered as I walked towards her and greeted her with a hug, “It is delightful to see you again, Cadance. How is life in the empire?” “Boring,” she said, gently breaking away from the hug. “Shining Armor is too busy to spend time with me, and there is nothing to do except for the occasional paperwork. I was honestly excited to do something when I got your letter.” Luna who had done a surprisingly well job in fixing her composure walked towards us. She looked at Cadence with a raised eyebrow, then looked at me. “Is there something We are missing?” I smiled. “Luna, this is our plan for stopping Chrysalis.” Luna narrowed her eyes in confusion before raising an eyebrow in understanding. “I see.” “Its simple, really,” I began. “Cadance will be staying in the castle with us without anypony knowing she is here. She will stay hidden from sight, and when Chrysalis comes to feed from me...” “I’ll take her down with my love magic,” Cadance finished for me. “Is that it?” Luna inquired. Somewhat taken aback by the simplicity of the plan. “Thy plan sounds a bit simple, and what of the Crystal empire?” “For the time being, this is the best course of action. And as for the Crystal empire, Shining Armor is more than capable of maintaining the system until Cadance’s return.” Luna nodded and looked back at the throne for a moment before setting her sights on Cadance and I again. “Would thou and our guest retire to thy chamber? Our shift at the night court is coming to an end soon. We will catch up with our niece later.” Cadance and I nodded before we left for our chambers. I was relieved that Luna had calmed down considerably. When she was out of sight, Cadence turned towards me as we walked. “So Aunt Celestia,” she began eagerly, “you must tell me about your new coltfriend.” “But Cadence, you know his love for me is completely fabricated, right?” I inquired, eyebrow raised. “But you’re in love with him aren’t you?” I smiled. When it came to love, Cadence was as excitable as Twilight if you put a new book in front of her. “Fair enough,” I said as we walked. “Where should I begin?” Cadence smiled widened. “I want to know everything. Start from the beginning. How did you two meet?” She raised an eyebrow at my visible cringe.