//------------------------------//
// The Fan Fiction That Should Have Never Been: A Satire 
// Story: Why Carrot Top Should Never Ever Write FanFiction 
// by Marciline 
//------------------------------//

	"Once upon a time in the magical and of Elet Mina, there lived a pony named Octavia. She made music come from rubber bands and wood. She also knew of a magical brown liquid that made her sing in the bathtub while crying. One day she traveled to the distant land of Mant Er Lat, and there she saw the most beautiful mare known to ponykind. Her name was Vinyl Scratch. She could take circles and have beautiful music come out of it. 
Instantly, Octavia fell in love with her, but realized that she would have to go on a quest of epic proportions, in order to gain the love of the fair Vinyl Scratch. (At this point, Vinyl Scratch began to sneak her hoof to Octavia's hind leg.) But in order to do so, she would need a companion, a loyal and kind companion, who was also fuzzy and warm. (Now, Vinyl Scratch was nursing a large red welt on her cheek, after unsuccessfully hitting on Octavia.) So she found a kitty by the name of Mr. Tittles, and they went off on the quest for the love of Vinyl Scratch. Mr. Tittles and Octavia traveled to the Sea of Monsters, where they fought the dreaded vogon race and left aloft a giant dragon by the name of Smaug, who name pronunciation is unknown. Then, they found the one ring and used it to power the Death Star in order to blow up the White Witches Ice Castle. They then left after the resulting explosion, and met up with the president of the universe who turned out to be an evil demon by the name of John Cleese. They then befriended him and killed him in his sleep with a light saber topped with the Arkenstone. Then, Mr Tittles discovered that John Cleese was in fact, his father, but her killed him anyways after watching eat Attila the bun. Then, Frodo Baggins kidnapped Octavia and demanded the key to the fairy relem. But Mr. Tittles tricked him with a brass key found in a broken down antique shop. But the key was the key to the codex that could destroy the world.
Frodo Baggins found out and used it to open the portal to the Transformers hideout, but Hitler won the key in a duel against Frodo. Hitler opened the portal and was taken by surprise by Mr. Tittles, but Octavia fought Hitler to the death for the key and codex. They fell into a dead volcano and died when they scared Spock. Mr. Tittles found her body and went to the underworld to bargain for her soul back. Hades demanded the soul of the Cookie Monster and gave Octavia's soul back. Mr. Tittles and Octavia traveled to the land of Pepperland for the element of magic in order to power the clockwork doll they stole from Hugo when he died. But they were blocked by the evil Enderman of Krypton who wanted to use the element of magic for a salad topping. But by using the sacred creeper of Queen Elizabeth the Seventeenth, they blew up the Enderman and found the Powerpuff Girls who were defeated by the Ice King on steroids. With no end of the icy madness in sight, Mr. Tittles and Octavia found Princess Peach and King Kandy. But in order to destroy the marshmallow demon, they fused together to form Princess Kandy and King Peach. But they died while killing the Ice King. Mr. Tittles then stored their soul in a mayonnaise jar in hall eighty-seven in his Freak Show Emporium.
Then, Octavia and Mr. Tittles discovered a ransom note for the lovely Vinyl Scratch. Al Capone and Venom had her tied up over a trash compacter and would drop her unless Octavia gave up her bow tie of power. Octavia then was about to give it to them in return for her love, until Mr. Tittles burst in and wielded the most powerful weapon known to mankind and ponykind. A kill-o-zap. Unfortunately for them, Al Capone and Venom found themselves on the wrong end of it and were blasted away into the night. But then, upon kissing Vinyl Scratch, Octavia discovered that it was, in fact, not the real Vinyl Scratch, but a robot. A recording played, stating that Darth Maul had Vinyl Scratch at the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness. So Mr. Tittles carried Octavia carried her there and armed with a jar of jarate, and destroyed him within seconds. Then, Octavia proclaimed her love for Vinyl Scratch and immediately made out. But Mr. Tittles also loved Octavia and entered a duel to the death with Vinyl Scratch. Vinyl Scratch took out her gun of ultimate wub and tolerance to destroy Mr. Tittles. Octavia then said that she loved them both. So Mr. Tittles and Vinyl Scratch married Octavia and moved into a bathtub in Birmingham and lived happily ever after."