//------------------------------// // "I'm Hom-What the Heck!?" // Story: How Did This Happen? // by Cobolt Soundwave //------------------------------// Oh hey cool it's back to me now. Okay, anyway, so Dash and I were just chilling out on her couch, just listening to some music. I'm pretty sure we fell asleep because when I opened my eyes it was not six o'clock when I closed them. We got back here at like, I want to say just after two o'clock maybe? Though I wasn't sure since we just came back here after finishing lunch, plus that pie put me to sleep I think. Dash was so adorable when she slept. I think what woke me up was the fact that the sun was just at that point where it wasn't setting, but it was just high enough to peak through your window and hit you with a beam of sunlight. What was that called again? Oh yeah I think it's called twilight hour...hehee, twilight hour; I wonder if that's the time of day Twilight kind of controls. I should ask her about that. "Mmmmm," 'Oh well, I guess my inner monologue will have to wait for some other time.' I thought to myself as Dash stirred awake. "Mmmhey, wassime it?" She slurred out. 'Yup, adorable when she sleeps.' "It's six o'clock right now. "Mmmm." Dash just hummed out again before nestling herself back into my chest. "Hey Dash you hungry?" Before she could answer me herself, her stomach did it for her. *Grrrrrrr* Dash lazily opened her eyes and looked at me with a small grin gracing her muzzle. "Yeah, just a little." "Haha alright, hey you wanna' come over or dinner? I could make something for us." "Alright, just let me wake up first. I dun' wanna' move yet." "Hmmm, okay, five more minutes than." I said with a smile on my face as I leaned back into the couch again and closed my eyes, as Dash rested her head on my chest with her arm wrapped around mine. ~~~~ It took a lot longer than five more minutes since we kind of feel asleep again for another twenty minutes. When we woke up we just got up stretched and left her house for mine. Upon entering the house I call out to see if anyone else was home. "I'm hom - what the heck!?" I didn't even get halfway with calling out before Celestia, wearing an oversized shirt, walked down the stairs stretching and with a happy grin on her face. "Uhhhhh," Was all I could say because my brain had shut down; looking to my left it looks like Dash wasn't fairing any better either. "Buuuu-wha?" Dash mumbled out, and that seemed to grab Celestia's attention. She stopped mid stretch and looked to her left to see us staring at her with our mouths agape. "H-Hello there." Dash and I were still too shocked to say anything, which it was good, and bad, that the front door decided to open again revealing a tired looking Misty. "You would not believe the day I had, I was with the Doctor and...Celestia...Celestia is standing...in the middle of the stairs...with nothing but a shirt...*sigh* I'm to tired to ask right now. I'm going to my room." She passed Celestia, who hadn't moved an inch yet, on the stairs and muttered a simple hi, which Celestia returned before Misty walked away and the sound of her door opening and closing could be heard. "Well...ummm, are you staying for dinner Celestia?" I asked, the most likely naked princess, as I made my way to the kitchen to start on the cooking to tonight's dinner. "Ummm, I think I'll ju-eep!" Celestia squeaked out when Draco walked up behind her and smacked her on her flank, causing her to grab the offending area. "Of course she'll stay - right Celly?" Draco said, coming out of his room finally. "I, ummm, I suppose so," Celestia said as she turned to go back up the stairs. "If you'll excuse me - I need to...get changed." "You can take some of my stuff if you want Celly." Celestia just nodded and continued on her way. I on the other hand, was busy making dinner...which I may or nay not know how to make by myself. "You have no clue what you're doing, do you?" "Uhhhhhhh...no?" "I thought so, step aside buster, Let me handle this." Dash said before playfully pushing me out of the way and began to try her way. ~15 minutes later~ "Uhhmmm," Okay, so let me fill you in on what you missed. Dash, after promptly nudging aside, starting cooking. Now earlier I said she tried to cook. I meant it. She starting putting everything into the pan...everything. She put the noddles, the sauces, the vegetables and last but not least...more sauce. Why? Because she thought it needed about *ahem* "twenty percent more sauce." Yeah, you can imagine what it looked like. "Dash?" "Yeeeeeessssss?" "You have absolutely no idea what you are doing...do you?" "Not a clue." "*Sigh* So...take-out? Because this doesn't look like Chineighes food, at all." "Yeeaahh, I'll get the menu." Dash said sulkily as she walked over to look for a menu with me following right behind her. She was looking through a drawer when I snuck up behind her and hugged her, making her gasp a little in surprise. "Hey, it's fine, look I had now fricking clue what I was doing either so come on, cheer up." Dash leaned her head into my shoulder and looked at me sideways. "I know, but I just...messed it up. We could have found a recipe but I had to screw it up...and it doesn't even look like food anymore, just a mass of crap." Almost as if the universe hated me, Draco walked into the kitchen and saw the pan that held the goop the was once food. "HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF HAMSTER BALLS WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!?" And on cue, Dash wriggled out of my bug and stormed off into the living room where she plopped down on the couch with her arms crossed and a frown on her face. I turned to look at Draco who just had a look of "Whoops" Written all over his face. "Nice dude *sigh* hey, do me a favor," I grabbed the phone and menu off the counter and handed them to him. "call this place and order some food would ya', I have to go and see how Dash is doing." "Uhhh, yeah, sure, I got this." I walked over to Dash and sat down next to her, putting an arm over her shoulder. Dash was hugging a couch pillow close to her and leaned into me. "Was it really that bad?" "Well, you did add like way too much soy sauce, but I think I would have messed it up pretty bad too so don't worry about it." Dash sighed and seemed to lighten up a bit, and then we heard Celestia, who we had no idea had come downstairs, yell. "Draco that wasn't nice!" She then came back out from the kitchen and looked at us. "I'm sorry for that." "Naw, it's okay Celestia, I kinda' made inedible goop, so no biggy." "Heck, I'll be honest, I didn't think that it could turn all...uhhh, what's the word...help me out here Dashie." Dash blushed at the use of her nickname in front of Celestia, since I was using it as a term of endearment. "Uhh, like quicksand?" "Yeah, like that...I think the spoon might still be in there," Dash looked at me, giggling all the while. "ahhh well, I can just get another one...and another pan too, cause' I think that one is done for." Draco popped his head out of the doorway after a few seconds. "Hey uhhh, sorry 'bout that Dash - oh and Bolt," He pulled the pan with the spoon buried in the goop. "what'dya want me to do with this?" "Uhhhh, probably just toss the entire thing out...that's done bro." I finished with a chuckle, which he coupled with his own. "Dude I can hold it by the spoon, bro look'it." He started laughing when he grabbed the spoon and held it above his head. Dash and I laughed at his antics as well, which only escalated to full blown rofl's...Yes I said rofl's, heck even Celestia was laughing pretty hard. See the spoon actually snapped in half right above his head and goop, which we had thought was solid was just a thick layer of hardened and burned food with actually goopy food under it. It broke open upon hitting his head and completely showered him with food stuff. "I'm-I'm s-s-so, ahahaahahaha! I can't, I can't." Celestia said pushing Draco back to his room catching any remaining food from falling on the way there, all the while still laughing her royal head off. Dash was even worse, I swear I thought I would have to give her CPR...I wouldn't have minded, just give me a reason to kiss her. "Ow, ow, ow, my stomach, hahahaha, oh my gosh, that was funny, oh man I haven't laughed that hard in a while." "Oh man that was hilarious." "Yeah, haha, I got covered in whatever it was that Dash created," Draco said as he came back down the stairs in a new set of clothes with Celestia right behind him still giggling slightly. "Princess chuckles here hasn't stopped gigglin' yet." "I'm sorry but when you aren't on the receiving end of a prank from your sister after a while you tend to laugh when it happens to somepony else." Celestia said with a chocked back giggle. Draco just rolled his eyes at her. "You're lucky your good in bed Celly." "Hmmph, and here I thought it was because you liked me for who I was." Said Celestia with a faux pout on her muzzle, which was quickly removed by Draco booping her on the nose, making her scrunch up her muzzle. "Stop that." She said. "Hmm, make me Princess." Draco said back to her. Celestia promptly wrapped in a hug, followed by a wing hug. "Well I could always-" *Ding-Dong* "I'll get it." I said, as I stood up and grabbed some bits from the counter next to the door. When I opened the door the colt delivering the food looked inside and did a double-take when he saw Celestia hugging my friend. Well hey when you have a job as a delivery man you tend to see some weird stuff, so this wasn't all too bad. "Uhhhh," "This is not the Princess." I said waving two fingers in front of the colt's face. "Wha?" he said sounding really confused, obviously not getting my star wars reference. Man, these guys were deprived the most awesome movies ever. "Here, there's a ten bit tip there for you. You saw nothing." I said as I took the bag of food from his hands, and placing the money in his outstretched hand. "Yeah, I saw nothing...uhhh, have a nice night." The Teen colt said before I closed the door and walked into the kitchen and placed the food down on the table. "Hey Dash can you help Draco get this ready while I go get Misty and Bass?" "Sure, I got it, come on dude don't slack off." "Hey, at least I'm not ja-" "Don't finish that sentence." Dash said as she pointed a fork at him, or more specifically his crotch. "Uhhh, nope, I'm good." He said before he went back to set the food. After staying to listen to them mess around, which was funny by the way, and I really hope she wouldn't actually hurt the poor sod. I walked upstairs and knocked on Misty's door. "Hey Misty, we got food downstairs, so whenever you're feeling hungry come on down to eat kay'." Misty opened the door a few seconds afterwards looking like that had just woken up, when she yawned, only making my suspicion right. "Alright, I'll be down in a few, just woke up from a nap." "Alright then, I'll see you downstairs." "Mmm." She nodded and closed the door again, leaving me to chuckle to myself since her mane looked funny from having bedhead. Next I went to Bass's room and saw the door half open, so I walked over to it and opened it, the door not making a sound at all, I took one step in and stopped, quickly getting a big grin on my face. Inside was Bass and Trixie currently in the middle of getting to know each other very well. It was a no more than a few seconds later that Dash made her way upstairs and found me by the door leaned up against it. She stepped closer and peeked inside and made an 'oh' face and just looked at me. I just kept on smiling and pulled her closer, putting an arm over her shoulder. "Hey you two, got room for two more?" I called out, making Trixie pull away from their kiss suddenly and gasp. "Wha-what are y-you doing in h-here?" She asked me with a blush much darker than before. "Well, it is my house...well technically my, bass's, Draco's and Misty's house, but you get the picture. Oh yeah, plus there's dinner downstairs, so if you too aren't too full from eating each others face, foods ready." I said leaving the room with Dash under my arm. When we made it back to the kitchen Dash and I were giggling and chuckling, which made Celestia and Draco ask us what was so funny. "Ohh, nothing," "Just ask the two love birds when they come downstairs." Finished Dash. We sat down and waited for the rest of my friends to show up, which wasn't too long since Bass and Trixie, followed by Misty, came into the kitchen. "So, what were you two up to upstairs, huh?" Asked Draco. Bass sort of just leaned back and grinned, while Trixie's face got bright red. "Uhmm, we were, uhhh." Trixie stuttered out. "Suckin' face?" Asked Draco with the biggest shit-eating grin. Which only served to make Trixie bury her face in he hands and place her head on the table. "Whmm mmm?" Trixie asked, which is translated to "Why me?". "Awww come on Trixie, it's not like were doing anything else right?" Bass decided to add in. "Yes, but it wasn't you who was sitting on top of you, was it?" Trixie said picking her face up off the table, but very quickly realized what she said and put her head back down with a groan. "Welp...let's eat." I said. "What'd I miss?" Misty asked, obviously very confused. "Oh, not much really, just that it seems our friend bass here is with Trixie now. Not sure when it happened, but, ehhh, doesn't matter. Let's eat." I said once more, before we all dug in. Of course I went for what was this places kung pao with out the chicken of course. While I was eating it I noticed that Trixie, Celestia and Dash were looking a bit ahhhh...distressed. "Hey, you three all right?" I asked as I looked at all of them individually. "I'm-" Dash was cut-off by a small coughing fit. "I'm fine." she finished, although with a small wavering in her voice. "Ya' sure, cause it seems you can't deal with spicy food...also I don't you're supposed to eat the dried peppers in it...I would know." Trixie, Celestia and Dash all jut looked at me with a "are you serious" face. "Lemme guess, you've been eating those horribly dry peppers that they put in there to make it spicy...weren't you?" They nod and then Celestia spoke. "I don't get out much." I snrk'd at that and covered my mouth with my hand. "I'm sorry, it's just that, I think I should have told you girls that you didn't have to eat those. Also this is already really spicy so I can't imagine how hot it is for you three." "Probably really spicy." Added Misty. "Yeah, oh my gosh, I remember the first time I ate this. I took all the peppers in it and put them with my food. I couldn't feel my tongue. Not even milk helped to get rid of the feeling of my tongue being on fire." Now that got Dash laughing. "Hahaha, nice *ahem* argh, my mouth still burns." "Maybe eat something else, not spicy?" I half asked half suggested. "Yeah, good idea." Dash said before she went for the lo-mein. "So, Misty what was that you were saying about the doctor earlier?" Her ears twitched when I asked her that. "Oh," Misty put her fork down and swallowed what food she had in her mouth before speaking again. "He took me to his shop and showed me around. It was nothing special really; just a bunch of glass things, oh, he blows glass, obviously. So we walked around inside his shop for a bit until he took me to the backroom. Draco I hear you snickering over there, don't make me have to slap you right in the mug ya' wanker," "Haha, sorry, minds being dirty." "What else is new." I add in. "Haha, ya' know it." "*Ahem* Can I continue please?" "Sorry, go ahead." "Right, well, as I was saying, he took me to the backroom and he showed me something covered in a tarp. It looked like a big box." I went wide-eyed. "No...way." "Yes," She said, looking me dead in the eye. "he pulled the tarp off, and what I saw blew my mind. It was a blue police box, and to make it better, he actually asked if I wanted to go inside. Well, I was a bit hesitant at first, but when I finally got in, it was-" "Bigger on the inside?" I finished for her, which she just nodded in response. "That's awesome. So what, you gonna' be going on adventures with him?" asked Draco as he ate a dumpling. "No, actually he asked me if I'm free this Saturday. He wants to take me to see some movie that's coming out." "So, like a date?" I asked. Misty got a bit flustered, as she rubbed the back of her neck. "I mean, I guess it could be a date between friends...maybe? I'm not sure what it is, since we only just met, but if he wants to take me to see a movie, why not?" "Good point, well, you two lovebirds got any plans?" I turned to Bass and Trixie, who was looking considerably more her normal color now. "Well, I mean it's gettin' late now so Trixie can stay the night I suppose, but tomorrow, I'm not really sure. I guess we'll think of something." Bass said. "Oh, that's right, just let me let Gilda know where I am." Trixie said as she pulled her phone out. Speaking of which, I finally got a new phone for here...well, that was of topic. moving on. ~~~~ We finished eating and put all the plates in the sink for somepony to wash them...guess who...if you guessed me, then, ding ding ding, you are correct sir or madam. It never bothered me, doing dishes I mean. I kind of just stand there listening to music while I do them usually. This time I was listening to The Covenant by Droptek. I was busy moving to the music as I washed the dishes, one by one putting them into the dish rack on the counter to dry off. I didn't hear Dash sneak up behind me when she poked my sides, making he damn near send a plate to Luna's moon. "HOLY PENIS WAFFLES!" I say some weird stuff when frightened. "What?" Dash asked, trying not to laugh at my absurd saying. "You scared the freaking crap outta' me Dashie." I said actually panting a bit from my scare. "You alright there? All I did was poke you." "Yeah, I know, but I didn't hear you come in." "Well, you had your music going pretty loud, so I didn't have to try that hard." "Well...ahhh, whatever, help me out will ya' Dash. I wanna' get to bed soon," I said before a yawn escaped me. "I'm beat." I started handing off plates for Dash to dry when I started feeling something brushing against my leg. When I glanced down, I saw it was Dashs tail just brushing against my leg. It was such a simple little thing, yet, here I was getting a little bit...excited by it? Well, this is different. The times that Dash and I have been really close, like spend minutes kissing on the couch close, I'm not sure Dash has ever been this...what's the word...flirty, I guess? "All done now, all dry." "Alright, that's done then." I said, turning to place the wet towel on the rack to dry over night. "Comina' bed?" "Hmm?" I asked, not hearing her. "Oh, don't worry, you will be soon." What? What did she just say. Brain, please help. Sorry, you're on your own, I just exploded. Gotta' re-boot. Okay, let's see. Dash just made a sexual joke...at you...talking about...yeah. I think...I think... "Hey, you coming Bolt?" She giggled afterwards, but her giggle sounded different, more... I stayed stunned for a few more seconds, until my brain finally un-froze. "Uhh, y-yeah, b-be there in a sec." Oh man, Draco, I just might be putting some of you advice to use tonight...if what I think is going to happen...happens. I made my way up the stairs behind Dash as she playfully brushed her tail in my face, further making me blush. "This is going to be a long night. No sleep for me tonight."