Saturday is a day where most people would like to stay up late the previous night and sleep in on said day until it was around eleven or noon. I myself am no exception, but just my luck that it's my turn to do the grocery shopping for the day, and that really messes up my sleep cycle.
"Rise and shine sleepyhead!" Carl yelled. "This week's your turn to do the grocery!"
"Zzz..." I snored, "Five... more minutes..."
"Yeah, right." I heard Carl saying before hearing him walk to one side of the room and…
"HOLY CHEESUS MY EYES!" I yelled in response to the morning sunlight temporarily blinding my eyes when Carl quickly yanked opened the curtains.
"You better get up before I drop a bucket of cold water on you."
"Alright! Alright! I'm up, damn it!" I replied in annoyance as I got up, shooting Carl a dirty look.
"Oh yeah, where's your pony friend?" Carl said, looking around.
"Pony friend?" I murmured, rubbing my eyes. "Oh, Luna." I looked around my bed and noticed a Siamese cat sleeping on the foot of the bed. "Get up Luna, it's morning." I said as I used my hand to nudge her abit.
"Tom? Dix, are your eyes okay?" Carl said in surprise. "How can you mistake Tom for that ponyyy..." His voice faded away when he saw Luna transform into a glowing orb before turning back to her original form.
"Good morning Dixon!" She greeted with a smile. When she saw Carl in the same room however, the smile faded. "Good morning Carl."
"She… could do that? Jesus Christ, I wouldn't be surprised if she could summon the Kra- Hey wait a sec, Why is she sleeping with you?" Carl asked suspiciously.
"Well she couldn't exactly sleep on the couch." I rolled my eyes.
"And the attic?"
"No one would want to smell your dirty socks when they sleep either."
"Alright, fine, whatever. Just don't get too frisky with each other, you hear? I wouldn't want to see her on top of you one morning." He sighed, which cause Luna and myself to blush furiously. Carl chuckled when he saw it, before leaving the room.
“What shall we have for breakfast today?” Luna asked.
"Well," I replied, stretching my arms. "Today's Saturday, so I'm guessing pancakes or toast. After that, Carl will be taking me to Walmart to do the grocery for the week."
"But if you're away, what am I going to do?" Luna asked.
"Who said anything about leaving you here?" I smiled. "You'll be coming along."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later:
"Hurry up Dix! It's seven!" Carl yelled from the driveway. "Or else you'll be walking to Wally's World on your own!"
"Alright already!" I said as I hopped on one foot while trying to put on a shoe. Carl was leaning against the door of his Mazda, having donned a shirt of his favourite band, Black Sabbath, With the same pair of jeans he was wearing yesterday.
"Okay, time to go-" Carl said as he was about to enter the car when he noticed that I was not doing the same. "What now?"
"Just waiting for somebody." I replied nonchalantly, leaning against his car. A few seconds later, a young girl around my age walked out of the front door. Well, trying not to fall while inadvertently moving forward was more like it. I guess I should've gave her some time to get used to walking on two feet. She was wearing a denim shirt and black pants with a pair of brown boots. But what struck me most wasn't what the girl wore, it was her features. And what a sight to behold! The fair pale complexion, the beautiful cerulean eyes, the luscious brown hair that seem to flow in the wind. A perfect sized firm bust, legs that go on for miles and miles. And most importantly...
Dat Ass!
"Hnnnnng!!!" It took me almost every single ounce of whatever willpower I had to pull my eyes away from her. And when I did so, I realized that Carl was looking at her the exact same way as I was. In fact, he was staring at her like a piece of meat, which is really creepy to be honest.
"Hey, hey, HEY!" I yelled while giving him a punch in the shoulders.
"Dude!" Carl said while putting his hands around my shoulders. "Who is that?! Do you have her number?!"
"No numbers," I said, trying hard not to crack a smile. "But she does have an older sister."
"WHAT?!" Carl exclaimed, suddenly turning around to face me. "A sister!? What’ her number!?"
"Well, from what I'd read online." I said, putting a finger on my chin. " She can be found in the next universe."
"Oh yeah, really funny Dixs. Come on, do you have her number?"
"Dude, can't you tell that this pretty lady here is Princess Luna? She was upstairs with me twenty minutes ago." I rolled my eyes.
"Whoa, seriously?" Carl's jaws dropped onto the ground. "She could turn into a human?"
"You have raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly. Bravo." He said before opening the door and getting into his car.
"Dixon, can we please go now?" Luna said, tugging at my shirt. "Your brother is acting strange."
"I would only if I could." I replied. "Problem is, my car’s been unable to start up for the past few months, so Carl has to give us a lift in his car."
Luna stared at me as if I had three eyes, before asking, "What is a car?"
"No! Don't say the C word-"
"A CAR?!" Carl broke out of his daydream and yelled in surprise. "You don't know what a car is?!"
"Oh great, here we go again..."
When around Carl, never, never, EVER mention cars. Being both an auto mechanic and a car junkie, he will never stop going on about how the Wankel rotary engine is the most reliable engine and how rear wheel drive is superior to front wheel drive. He'll keep going on and on like a broken tape recorder. Good lord, why didn't I foresee this coming sooner or later?
"A car, or automobile, is a wheeled motor vehicle used for transporting passengers..." He began.
"Fantastic job, Lulu." I said as I got in the back seats, "Now he'll never shut up." Luna just gave me a poker face as she got into the back seat and sat next to me. The back seat was one of the WORST seats I've ever sat on. This car was meant to be a 2 door coupe, damnit! It was not designed to have 4 seats!
"Oh yeah, one more thing." Carl suddenly stopped in his car talk as he inserted the keys into the ignitions, "The suspensions are a bit softer than usual, so you two might get tossed around abit."
"Buckle up! This is going to be a bumpy ride!"
“Buckle up?” Luna asked, "I don't understand."
"NOT YET! WAIT!" I yelled as I struggled with the seatbelt.
"Here we go!" Carl shouted as he slammed his foot on the pedal, causing Luna and I to get pushed back into our seats by the sudden acceleration.
"Oh shit"
The distinct sound of a rotary twin turbo could be heard as a yellow Mazda RX-7 sped down the road at speeds that were way above the limits. The driver himself gave no heed to speed bumps and loves to go all out finding each one and speeding over it as if it was a pebble on the road, causing the two occupants in the back to smash their heads against the roof as it shoots over the obstacle. Anyone looking would either call the cops about a maniac driver terrorizing the streets or will never drive again as long as that yellow blob is still running.
"A-are you sure we should be moving that fast?" Luna asked as she held her seat belt tightly since that was the only thing she could hold on to.
"Relax," Carl said. "I'm a good driver, sure as hell wouldn't get into any accidents or the sort."
"How the heck did you get your license?!" I yelled as I held on for dear life, to which he replied by giving a laugh.
"It's just a little speed, try to get used to it." Carl laughed, "Oh yeah, almost forgot to turn on the music player!" Carl suddenly said as he pressed the button of the music player, filling the car with some sort of disco techno music.
"What kind of music is this?" Luna asked. "I've never heard anything like it before."
"Personal favourite." Carl replied. "It's called Eurobeat."
"Oh God, you shouldn't be listening to this while driving." I said.
"Why not? It's upbeat, awesome, and gets you really pumped up!"
I grabbed onto my seatbelt even tighter than before. Anyone who sits shotgun or in the backseat when Carl is driving would know that his driving style is affected by the type of music being played on the music player or on his iPod. If it's slower paced or light composition like jazz or classic, his driving style would slow down to fit the pace of the music. But if it's fast paced or heavy music like rock, dupstep et cetera, you'll wish you'd written your Will before stepping into the monster machine known as the FD3S, personally tuned by Carl himself. Eurobeat itself is defined by Wikipedia as: A form of Hi-NRG-driven Italo disco music typified by a fast tempo, staccato hi-hat rhythms, reverberated "intense" vocals blah blah blah blah blah.
In short, both Luna and I are fucked.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
VROOOM! SCREECH!
Thanks to my brother's crazy driving and the Eurobeat music about no one sleeping in Tokyo, we managed to get to Wally's World in record time. If it weren't for the seatbelts, I would've gotten thrown out of the window when Carl suddenly stopped.
"Here we are! Wally's World!" Carl announced as he screeched to a halt directly outside of Wal-Mart. "I told you I'll get you two there safely!"
"Aggghhh..." Both Luna and I mumbled. My head was spinning like a top and my eyeballs are doing the Shimmy by themselves. I was trying hard not to violently expel the contents of my stomach. Even so, I could feel butterflies in there. Dead butterflies, as they’re hitting the bottom of the pit, and I'm sure Luna felt the same way as well.
"You okay?" Carl asked, turning around.
"After hitting my head multiple times and going around corners at killing speed while inside a car with loose suspensions," I replied. "I think I'm alright. Lemme check, am I dead yet?"
"Heh. Oh, Dixon." Carl laughed. "Years of driving you to and from school and you're still not used to a little speed? No wonder not a single girl would like you."
Luna looked at me disapprovingly and said, "A little, he said," to which I replied by shrugging my shoulders.
"Anyway," I continued. "Adrian has been the one driving me to school in his Savanna since Junior High. And he's a way better driver than you."
"Alright, fine. Whatever, here's the money and the list of groceries- wait," Carl said, taking back the long piece of paper from my hands before taking out a small pen from the glovebox and began writing at the back of it before handing it back, "There. Here you go!"
"Thaaanks," I said disapprovingly while taking one of Luna's hand to help her get out of the vehicle.
"I'll be back in an hour and a half. Don't be late." Carl warned before zooming away, leaving us at the entrance.
"Alright Luna, stay close to me. This is a huge place and you could easily get lost in here," I said as the both of us walked towards the entrance.
Luna suddenly jumped back when the door opened without her touching it, "How did it know that I was coming?"
"Magic." I replied quickly before snorting twice.
"But I thought you said your world-"
"It's technology, duh." I rolled my eyes, much to Luna's annoyance. "Now are we staying out here for an hour and a half or are we going in?"
After walking past the confused doorman, we went around the supermarket, starting with the first few items on the list. Having done this since I was 14, it was easy. I think we could've been a lot quicker, though, if Luna didn't decide to stop every now and then to look at the electronics and gadgets in the electronics section. The list itself was pretty simple: Get some potatoes, some scallions, a stalk of leek, a pound of rice, some pasta, blah blah blah. Luna wasn't pleased when I took her to the deli to get some bacon and cold cuts. I thought I saw her looking like she was about to puke at the sight of raw meat but either she managed to hold her breakfast in or that was just my imagination.
"Beans, check. Pasta sauce, check. Cucumber, check," I checked off the items that were in the cart while Luna pushed it. "Bacon, check. Vaseline, check. Condoms, not check- wait what?" I choked as I reach the bottom of the list. The word 'Condom' was written on the bottom using black ink, no doubt that was what Carl wrote before driving off.
"That bastard..." I silently cursed, not doubt trying to embarrass me and Luna. No way I'm going to fall for that!
"What's wrong?" Luna asked, stopping the cart.
"Nothing," I quickly replied while putting the slip of paper back into my pocket. The both of us continued walking down the aisle while looking around until a personal favourite section of mine caught my eye. The video game section.
"Hey, hey, hey. Stop here, follow me." I tapped Luna's shoulder while pointing out the video game section a stone throw away from us.
Like a kid in a candy store, I found myself scanning through each video game box one by one. Problem is, most of the games were...well, mediocre to say the least. Child Online Daycare? Played that. Battlefield 4? Not now until EA get their shit fixed. Overhyped Sellout Lens Flare Dubstep War Zombie 4 HD? They'll release Dubstep War Zombie 5 HD next year.
"Well that was a waste of my time. Come on Luna, let's go." I sighed as I took a Steam Wallet Card and began heading back to the cart.
"Luna?"
"Dixon, what about this?" Luna said as she held a copy of Just Dance 2014 in her hands. "This seems interesting."
"That's a dancing game, it's built for humans only. Are you sure you could even play that?" I replied. Luna folded her arms while looking at me, which was when I realized my stupidity.
"Oh, yeah...you could change, oh well. Fine." I sighed as Luna happily put the game in the cart. I just hope that she wouldn't actually play that, because guess who has two left feet? Yours truly. "Okay, now that we have what we need, let's go and checkou- Oh what now?!" I exclaimed when I saw Luna suddenly running off to the aisle next to us. She did eventually return, but not without holding a box in her hand.
"Can we buy this? Please?" Luna said energetically. I took a closer look at what she was holding, it was a box of MoonPie™, chocolate flavour, marshmallow filling and stuff.
"Sorry, but no." I replied, "You got your game already."
"But it's my favourite! Please?" She pleaded with me, to which I replied by simply continuing to push the cart. Luna suddenly ran in front of me, stopping the cart.
"What do you want-" Suddenly, Luna gave me a look that I will never forget for the rest of my life. Her bottom lip was protruding out, her eyes started to water as she held the box in a pleading position with her eyes doubling in sizes. "Oh no, don't you dare look at me with those eyes miss." I said sternly, but she kept looking at me with those cute puppy eyes while saying "Please?" in a tone that sounds as if she was about to cry. That was when I realized that people were staring at the both of us. To our eyes, it's a simple issue of buying a box of MoonPies like how a child would want a candy bar at the supermarket, but to theirs, I look like an unreasonable boyfriend who wouldn't even allow his girlfriend to buy just a box of MoonPie. In order not to get anymore attentions, I have no choice but to surrender to those eyes.
"Oh fine, fine, fine. Just stop with your puppy eyes already!" I exclaimed in defeat, to which Luna's expression took a 180 degree change. Her sad puppy eyes were gone and a huge grin now hung on her face so wide, you could even see her pearl white teeths reflecting the lighting.
"But one box. Just one!" I warned, Luna nodded her head happily as I took the box and placed it inside the cart. I can't wait to get out of here and back home watching television. Making our way to the checkout aisles, I sighed in relief as there wasn't a lot of people in line. After pushing the cart to the shortest line, all we had to do was wait.
It didn't take too long, actually. There was only 4 carts ahead of us, so all we just have to wait for 10 minutes or so. I started to think that this might go smoothly, but clearly I wasn't thinking when I transferred the items from the cart to the counter. Why? The first 3 items that I've placed were: A small bottle of lubricant , a cucumber and a few rolls of toilet paper... By themselves, none of these 3 items would make anyone raise an eye on their usage by the buyer, but when combined with the 2 other items. Lubricant + toilet paper and cucumber, go connect the dots here. I didn't even notice the order of the items that I've placed until the cashier gave me a questionable look until she noticed Luna standing close beside me and... thinks she understands but got the wrong idea in fact.
"妈的。" I cursed silently.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When the both of us walked outside with our hands full of groceries (Well actually, I was the one who was carrying the groceries while Luna just stood there and looked pretty), I was sort of expecting to see Carl waiting outside his car.
Don't be ridiculous, when was Carl ever punctual for anything except his dates?
The time on my watch was 8:45 AM, a whole 15 minutes late. Most of the time I wouldn't care about him being late but with what seems like two tons of groceries in my hands, I wished he could be faster.
"Dixon, what is the time now?" Luna asked.
"Eight forty-seven, he's seventeen minutes late." I grumbled, looking up from my watch to try and catch a glimpse of a yellow Mazda with a custom spoiler and a hot-headed young man in the driver's seat.
Oh well, I could wait. It's not like I had anything important happening today. I mean, what could possibly go wrong by just standing and waiting here?
"Dixon! It's them!" Luna suddenly gasped and pointed to my right.
Immediately as I turned my head, my face made sudden contact with a large and hairy fist, sending both the bags and I to the ground which caused Luna to yelp in surprise. I turned my head up to look at my assailants while holding my battered nose in pain.
"Herro...Dick!" Isaac sarcastically greeted in a mocking accent.