//------------------------------// // A Feeling of Sadness - 2 // Story: A Feeling Of // by Nuke //------------------------------// Speck awoke just before the sun peaked over the horizon. She blinked and looked around, unsure of where she was. As she tried to move, she found herself trapped within the arms of her friend. After a little effort, she was able to wiggle her way out of his grasp. She groggily looked down at the couch they slept on. He had found her sleeping on the floor of his closet and brought her down here. She smiled softly, remembering all of the things her mother had told her about angels. She was almost completely convinced her friend was an angel. Her hoof tapped his nose gently, eliciting a soft giggle from her. There was something oddly adorable about the way he slept. Maybe it was the way he had his body curled to make the small alcove she had been sleeping in. A low rumble in her belly causes her to jump. "Shut up! You're going to wake him!" She whispered. It grumbled louder. She responded with a sigh. "I suppose conceding to such a worthy opponent is not dishonorable." She took another glance down at her friend before tumbling over the arm of the sofa. He stirred a little from the noise of the crash, but does not wake. Speck peeked over the couch to make sure her friend was still asleep. After waiting a moment, she snuck into the kitchen, turned the light on, and hopped into a chair at the table, ready to enjoy some of her cake. A low whine sounded in her throat as she discovered it was missing. "He wouldn't hide it from me. He isn't mean!" She said to herself as she climbed on top of the table to get a better vantage point of the kitchen. The cake was nowhere in sight. She leapt off of the table and started throwing cupboards and cabinets open. She searched through them, throwing things around in a huff. After a few minutes, she laid down on the kitchen floor and curled up into a ball. "My cake is gone. It was so good, and I only got a little taste of it." She covered her face with her hooves and lamented over the loss of her treat. ~~~ I felt Speck climb out of my arms moment ago and heard her tumble over the arm of the couch. I rolled over; she must have woken up hungry. All I can hope is that she isn't destroying anything. Unfortunately, this is not the case; I can hear things clattering across the floor. The clock on the wall tells me that it's currently five-thirty in the morning. It is already too early for this. I sit up, groan, stretch, and rub my eyes. My bones crack in a pleasant cacophony as I rise from the sofa. The sounds stop as I stumble into the foyer. The harsh light of the kitchen blinds me, and I shield my eyes and brace against the wall for a few moments. Once I recover, I enter the kitchen to find plates, cups, spoons, forks, knives, and an assortment of other kitchenware. I'm actually really glad that I replaced all of the glassware with plastic-ware when Speck moved in. I'm not even surprised to find her laying in the middle of the kitchen, sobbing. "Speck? What are you doing?" I ask in an extremely dead-pan, flat tone. Nothing she can say will surprise me. Unless, of course, she tells me she found out how I can get home, and she's just really sad that I'd leave. I'm allowed to be hopeful, even though I've accepted that I may be in this world for a while longer. "My cake is gone. I left it on the table, and now it isn't there!" The bat-pony, whom I must iterate is the same size as any other fully-grown pony, speaks up through her sobs as she looks up at me. I squint at her as her sobbing stops and she rises to her hooves. "Don't you dare." I continue squinting as she gallops towards me. She tackles me to the ground and knocks the wind from my chest. Her face is less than three inches from my own. "What did you do with my cake!?" She screams at me. I close my eyes and sigh. If I haven't contracted diabetes from contact with all of the sugary treats I make at Sugarcube Corner, then I may contract it from this pony; she is incredibly adorable. It makes me wonder: why did Reverie warn me about bat-ponies having a bad reputation? I'll have to bring this up later. "I put it in the fridge." She climbs off of me, trots straight to the fridge, and pulls it open. As I stand, she pulls the cake-box out and carries it over to the table. I sit across from her as she opens the box and starts nibbling at the cake. "What?" She says, as she finally looks up and makes eye contact with me. "Are you going to clean the kitchen up?" She shakes her head, eyes closed and chin turned up. Awfully indignant for a pony that was homeless last week. "And why not?" "You hid my cake from me, and now I'm upset with you!" She takes another bite of the cake and tries her hardest not to open her eyes as tears leak down her cheeks. She cries over food an awful lot. I should be a little nicer to her; I don't think she got many good things to eat without a place to cook, and with so many ponies avoiding her. I stand and walk by her, ruffling her mane a little bit, as I begin picking her mess up. The sun's light starts to light up the foyer as it filters through the living room windows. Saturday's morning sun has risen. I realize I have no plans for the day, nothing to do, no friends to hang out with; old habits die hard. An idea pops into my mind as my gaze slowly meets Speck's. She stops chewing and stares at me before swallowing. "Hey, Speck." "Yes, Anon?" I smirk devilishly. She smirks nervously. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She looks down at her cake and furrows her brow. She looks up at me and begins to speak, but I cut her off quickly. "I am not thinking about your cake." "Oh, phew! That's a load off my mind." She giggles a little bit. "So what are you thinking about?" "I'm thinking we go out and have some fun. See the town together, get ponies used to you, maybe even find you some friends." She adopts a rather sorrowful look. "I'd rather stay inside and eat my cake. I don't think I could handle another day where I scare somepony." I step beside her and look over her shoulder. She sighs; she knows exactly what I'm about to do. *** I kidnapped her. I picked her up, tucked her under my arm, and am now carrying her through town. Ponies stare, curiously. Nothing bad is said, from what I can hear. The harshest thing that hits my ears is "What's the human doing with that bat-pony?" Normally, I'd imagine they would say "thing" instead. The way I see it, if Mrs. Cake ended up liking her because she was a friend of mine, then other ponies may take a liking to her. "I'm not going to put you down." She shuts her mouth and struggles to get free. She grumbles. At the end of the road, I hold her up in front of me as we arrive at our destination. She brings her front hooves to her face as I carry her inside. "Good morning! Welcome to-" Reverie stops, glares at Speck, and then glares at me. I set Speck down, and she immediately cowers behind me. Reverie, as calmly as possible, trots upstairs. I follow her with no invitation. On the way upstairs, Speck leaves me to venture around the Laughter wing. Hopefully she'll find something to keep herself entertained without burning the library down. I finally corner Reverie on the top floor of the library. "Explain." "What do I have to explain? I think, if anything, you should explain what you're doing." "I met her about a week ago, felt sorry for her, and took her in. I want to know why you, and every other pony in this town, abhor her. I haven't seen her do a single thing that would warrant hatred." Reverie refuses to turn to me as I speak. "You've read a lot about them, Anon. You know what they did." "They fought for their princess and what they believed in. Thirteen-hundred years ago." "Precisely." "I read both sides of that story. Celestia's army did the same exact thing. Something that happened that long ago isn't a reason to hate an entire race of ponies." She mumbles something, but I don't catch it. "What was that?" "I said, they're scary, and everypony's afraid that something's going to happen. Another war, another fight. Something to ruin Equestria again." She turns to me, tears in her eyes. I walk closer to her and kneel down, then pull her into a hug. "I've only met one bat-pony, but I can tell you that she's one of the nicest, silliest ponies I've met since I came to Equestria. If you ask me, there's nothing to be afraid of. She certainly wouldn't fight in any kind of war." Hoofsteps sound behind me. This bat-mare has such impeccable timing in these kinds of situations, I might start to think she's a wizard of the Pingpong flavor. I turn to her. Judging by the look on her face, she didn't hear anything. She holds a book in her mouth, but drops it to speak. "Should I come back up later?" I pull away from Reverie and look down at her. "Does she look like she'd hurt anyone?" Speck starts to back out of the room, but stops as I begin to speak once more. "I've lived here for just over a year, Reverie. I've seen no signs of conflict, no strife, no struggle. Your world is nearly perfect. It's been so long since that war." The librarian looks away, conflicted. "Just give her a chance." Reverie sighs and looks up at me. "I guess I can try. How bad can one of your friends be, right?" She laughs nervously and fakes a smile. It falters quickly as she approaches Speck. I sit against a bookshelf and watch. They stand a few feet apart, completely silent. I can feel the nervous tension between the two. Reverie is the first to speak. "H-hey. My name's R-Reverie." Her tail tucks between her legs. "I'm S-Speck." Speck's gaze falls to the floor as she scuffs it with a hoof. They stand completely silent for a moment. "So... do you like books?" "Kind of. Anon has a really neat one he won't let me read." "How long have you known him?" "A week." Reverie casts a glance back at me. I stare at her. "I live with him, and he takes care of me. He's my best friend!" Speck gets a little giddy and bounces in place, her nervousness disappearing for a moment. "Sounds like you really like him." Reverie's nervousness fades. It seems that ponies can be incredibly quick to judge both negatively and positively. I had noticed that previously with Celestia and Luna, the day I came to this world. I had noticed it with Mrs. Cake when I had met her, and when she met Speck. "Y-yeah." Speck blushes a little bit and smiles. Reverie giggles softly. "I'm gonna go look at more books." She turns and trots downstairs. "So. Done hating bat-ponies?" The librarian turns to me with a sheepish smile. "I'm not sure. Speck is nice, from what I can tell. And honestly, if she's with you, I don't think it's as bad, but... I don't know about other bat-ponies." "That's fine. It's a start." "Maybe I'll start talking to that one at the orphanage. She's always reading the books we donate." The Ponyville Orphanage. I've passed by it a few times. Just like nearly every old building in town, or one that has to do with some public works, it commemorates some pony that was close to Princess Twilight. If I recall correctly, the orphanage was dedicated in the name of one "Scootaloo." She was friends with the younger siblings of two of the Elements of Harmony, according to the old stories. The orphanage itself looks nice, though I've always gotten a creepy vibe from it. Like someone or something was watching me. Maybe it was whomever Reverie mentioned. "That's a good idea." Maybe I'll take Speck over there some day. She might enjoy seeing another bat-pony. "You know, I was thinking about heading to the arcade tonight. Maybe you and Speck would like to join me?" I stare at her. "What arcade?" "Lipizzan. It's on the other side of town. I think it just opened up recently." This is news to me; good news, at that. "Sounds like it could be fun. Yeah, I'll show up." *** "I don't want to go." Speck huffs and grumbles. "Too bad, we're going." I stand over her as she flattens herself to the sofa. "What if I refuse?" "I'll drag you out of here like I did this morning. Come on, it's gonna be fun." "How do you know? Reverie's going to be the only pony there, and I'm not even sure she likes me!" "You need to get out sometime. This is a great opportunity." She covers her face with a pillow. "I don't wanna!" I sigh as I lift her up off of the couch. She struggles and whines as I carry her out of the living room, into the foyer, and out the front door. I walk with Speck tucked under my arm, toward the opposite side of the town. The streets are fairly empty this time of night. I suspect most ponies are hiding in the bars, drowning in cider, or tucked away safely in their beds. A cool breeze passes us, prompting a shiver from Speck. She wriggles out of my grasp and climbs up into my jacket, quickly curling into a ball. I unzip it a bit and her head pokes out. "Is there going to be cake there?" "Probably. There'll be games, too." "Is it okay if I don't play the games, and just hide and eat cake?" "No." She wriggles against me and pouts. I hug her against me and jostle her mane. "It'll be fun, I promise." She harumphs. I walk in silence. Past Sugarcube Corner, past the Library, down the main street, past the orphanage, and almost all the way down to the edge of town. We approach the arcade. An enormous, brightly lit sign reads: "Lipizzan." It looks like it would be an elegant restaurant, judging by its outward appearance. Yet, as I walk inside with Speck bundled in my jacket, I am immediately assaulted by the smell of pizza and youth. It brings me back to a time when I was younger, and more carefree. Mostly younger. Speck immediately escapes from my jacket and darts off. Hopefully she changed her mind, and decided to go play some games. I start to wander around in search of Reverie. After a while, I ask one of the staff if they've seen her. That's a negative, ghost-rider. Something must have come up at the library, then. I shrug and sit down at a table after getting a pizza. It tastes like cardboard. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice the shadow of a pony creep out of sight. I look up to find Speck climbing in the rafters, hiding and peering down at every other pony having fun. She catches my eye and slinks into the shadows; I continue staring at her. She glides down and sits across from me at the table. "Can we go now?" "We just got here. At least play some games." "I don't want to. I just want to go home and eat cake." "You can have your cake after you've had fun here." "Anon, I don't find this kind of thing fun! I'm not a filly anymore." I roll my eyes. All I wanted was to have a little fun with my friends on a Saturday night. One didn't show up, and the other is being lame. I have the worst friends. "You have an hour to start having fun, or I'll go home and eat your cake by myself." She stares at me, trying to bore into my soul, before darting off. Maybe if she sees me having fun, she'll join in. I walk over to the games and look around for something that would be fun. There's an obstacle course that a bunch of foals play on, jumping through hoops, sliding down slides, and jumping into a big ball pit. All of the other game I pass are extremely kiddish. This place takes me back to a better time. The sound of music fills my ears. I look around for where it's coming from, and find a machine with two platforms side by side. A couple of foals stamp their feet on the platforms while singing some cheesy song. I watch for a moment, and am reminded of some old game I was always horrible at. The foals leave after their song ends. I approach the machine and stare at it curiously. As I step onto one of the platforms, a menu pops up on screen with a list of songs. I scroll through it and pick one that doesn't sound like it would be overly cheesy. ~~~ She watched from the ball pit, her ears and eyes poked just above the edge. She watched him flail about like a dying fish as he danced. "That kind of looks like fun." She raised herself a little higher, out of the sea of plastic balls. She shook her head and furrowed her brow. She was upset; she had no time to want to have fun. He didn't even care that she was miserable! She'd show him she didn't need him to have fun. She snuck out of the ball-pit and trotted up to him. ~~~ "Having fun?" Speck scoffs and leans against the machine, trying to act cool. I get up off of the floor, as I had given up on actually playing the game and decided to goof around. "Yes. Are you?" "Oh, of course! I'm having more fun than I know what to do with!" She steps onto the platform beside mine. "I've never played this game before." She bats her eyes at me as she smiles. I start to speak, but she cuts me off. "Nevermind. I don't think I need an explanation, I can just... wing this." I cringe and glare at her. She's going to start with her puns until I get frustrated with her and leave. "Fine. If you want to go home, we'll go." She lets out a long and drawn out "aww." "But I was just starting to have fun!" Puns aren't fun. Especially when they upset me so much. She knows this, having recently discovered my distaste for puns. I feared she would have used that as a tool to get her way. "If you're having fun, I'll just go home alone. You ruined the mood." She shrugs as she follows me to the entrance. I feel a lump start to form in my throat. It's been a long time since I've had fun with friends. Speck flutters beside me with a smug look on her face. It starts to fade as she looks at me. "Anon?" She touches my shoulder. I don't know why, but I start running and I start to cry. I remember my mother always taking me to places like the arcade when I was younger. I always had so much fun. I really thought Speck would have ended up liking it. I find myself alone, still running down the dark street. Eventually, I reach the library. It's dark; the lights are all off. I sit against the tree and cover my face with my hands. I cry. I cry because everything I loved on Earth is gone. I cry because my family is gone. I cry because all of my friends are gone. I have lived in this all-too-perfect world for a year, and it finally gets to me. I will never go home. I always did a good job of ignoring these feelings, even when I first arrived in this world. I thought it was a dream; I thought I had died. My life has always been very get-up-and-go. Everything has just crumbled down. And it hurts. Something hugs me tightly. A soft, soothing voice whispers in my ear. "I'm sorry, Anon." I look up, my vision blurred, and see a big gray blob. I should be mad at her, but it isn't worth it. She's one of my only friends in this world. I hug her around her torso and bury my face in her shoulder. She doesn't seem to mind when I wet her fur with my tears. She rubs my back with a hoof and coo's to me. I bet she feels so good about herself right now. She gives me little reassurances and tells me everything will be okay. She holds me, just like I held her earlier this morning. Her nose presses into my hair, and her lips press to my forehead. I look up and smile. "Thanks, Speck." "You'd do the same for me. Want to go back to the arcade?" "No." I stand up. She flies beside me. I take her hoof in my hand as we start to walk home. "I'd rather go home." "Another time, then." She giggles. We smile at each other. I'm not sad anymore, because in this moment, I realize something important. I don't need frivolous things to make me happy. I just need the company of the one pony I care about. She just needs cake. I think, maybe, I can be happier in this world. As long as I'm not alone.