//------------------------------// // Something Borrowed // Story: Mush Story // by Dafaddah //------------------------------// Mush Story by Dafaddah Chapter two: Something Borrowed Edited by Sharp Logic, TotallyNotaBrony and Mythee The room looked more like a bank vault than a Customs office, although just outside the steel reinforced door were the usual US immigration counters wrapped in floor-to-ceiling bullet-proof glass. Secretary of State Pinchaunt stood in the room with Twilight and Richard, looking well pleased. "I must say that you two have set the bar high for interstellar cooperation: you managed in just under two weeks to set up the portal and get it operational. Now all we need is to set up the human infrastructure in Equestria before we reveal its existence to the general public." Richard fairly basked in his boss' praise. "Let's hope things go as smoothly on the Equestrian side of this project," said Twilight. “Richard, are you sure you want to do this?” asked Pinchaunt. Twilight smiled as Richard nodded. He did a short mock bow in the princess’ direction. “Her Royal Majesty commandeth me thusly, and so I, Richard Lyon-heart, had better goeth if I knoweth what’s good for me.” He whispered to his boss, sotto voce: “I also can’t wait to see this dragon assistant of hers and her castle in the shape of a tree.” Pinchaunt raised an eyebrow. “I do hope you will take this seriously, Richard. You will be the first human diplomat to visit another planet, after all.” Richard’s expression grew glum. “Yes, but I’m merely the second human to do so. Alice Scrivello’s will be the name in the main text of the history books. At best I’ll merit a footnote in a six point font.” “Oh, come-on, it won’t be that bad!” objected Twilight. “You’ll get to meet the other princesses, and all my best friends, and visit Canterlot, and Manehattan, and Ponyville and tons of other places I want to show you. It’ll be fun.” “I’m sure it will be, Princess Twilight,” said Pinchaunt. “And I’ll expect a full report every day, Richard.” “Yes, boss.” He hefted a rather large briefcase. “I’ve enough diplomatic pouches here to last a month if need be.” He looked to the portal. It resembled a typical large stand-up mirror that one would expect to find in a clothing store, except that instead of reflecting their images it showed a room with a marble floor and stone walls. It was like a doorway to an impossible other room. Next to the mirror lay a very large copper cable which had been connected directly to the national electrical grid. For a period of close to an hour, Twilight had held the live cable in her hand. From it enough current to power a medium sized city flowed into her. Her eyes had glowed white, and then the mirror’s image changed to that of the room on another world, with several winged unicorns waving from the other side. Now it was half an hour later, the portal was still stable, and he was going to step through it. He swallowed. Twilight put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. “You’ll be fine, Richard.” With her other hand she waved her chopstick wand and their luggage levitated into the air. “Let’s go!” She looked back towards Madame Pinchaunt. “I’ll bring him back in a week. That should give us time to set up the Human embassy in Canterlot, trade office in Manehattan, and a visit to my residence in Ponyville. Then I and Alice can swap back into our own bodies and so the next time you see me it will be in my own native form.” She looked at Richard. “That should be much safer for the teeth of everyone and everypony involved,” he remarked. “Ha-ha! Very droll.” She looked towards the ceiling then pushed him forwards. “You first, mister comedian.” He stepped over the threshold and found himself in the room he had seen through the portal. The luggage followed him in and then Twilight herself stepped over. He faced the tall white, pink and dark blue winged and horned ponies that stood before him. “Your Majesties, greetings from the people of Earth,” he said as he bowed deeply. “We are pleased to meet you, Richard Lyon. We offer own our greetings to the people of Earth, and welcome you to our world,” said the tallest, white-coated one, Princess Celestia, he recalled. Richard felt a shiver of awe when he met the princess’ gaze. Nevertheless she was not intimidating, rather much the opposite, she made him feel... like he belonged. She’s everything Twilight said she is! he thought. “Indeed!” said Princess Luna. “We have much to discuss in regards to trade, scientific and cultural exchanges.” The younger princess also had an almost ethereal feeling about her. This is what it’s like meeting beings who have lived for over a thousand years. The pink coated princess approached him and Twilight. She very much dropped the regal attitude, and hugged Twilight and then Richard. “So, Richard, it’s so nice to finally meet you in the flesh. Twilight’s told us all about you!”  This one’s different! Richard felt his smile waver. “Uh, really? What did she say?” “Oh, this and that. What foods you like. Your favorite colour. How you hate men who wear hats indoors, that kind of thing.” A quick glance at Twilight showed her face practically glowing red. “Uh, Richard. This is my sister-in-law Princess Cadence, Equestria’s avatar of love, a role that she seems to take a bit too seriously at times.” Cadence smiled all the more. “Not at all, Twilight dear. So what are you two doing first in our fair land?” Twilight glared back. “We’re going to our rooms to unpack, –” she waved to a large white stallion waiting in the corner “– my brother Shiny will show you to yours, now.” Another wave with the chopstick and Richard’s luggage flew in the air at high speed towards the stallion, whose horn glowed as the suitcases came to a sudden halt. Twilight turned back towards the three princesses. “I think the Princesses and I have a few things to discuss first. I’ll see you at dinner, Richard, Shiny.” “Yes, Twi!” they replied in unison, then looked at each other in mutual surprise. “We’d best get out of here, Richard,” said Shiny. “Ayup,” he replied. For some reason that made the stallion laugh. They paused outside the door to the portal room. “So you’re Richard Lyon,” said Twilight’s brother. He offered a hoof. Richard closed his hand and hooked his wrist around Shiny’s as if his fist was a hoof. The two regarded each other a moment, obviously sizing each-other up.  “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Prince Shining Armour.” A black eyebrow rose to a mane of navy and sky blue. “You’ve been briefed then?” “Of course. If I understand correctly, you were essentially the chief of defense staff in Equestria before you married Princess Cadence, the head of state of a tributary nation called the Crystal Empire.” Shining Armor nodded as Richard continued. “Oh, and you’re Twilight’s BBBFF.” The stallion looked surprised for a moment, then waved a hoof down the corridor and began moving at a sedate pace. Richard followed. They walked together in silence. “She’s told you a lot about herself then, has she?” asked Shiny. The line of inquiry was making Richard a bit nervous. “We’ve had to spend quite a lot of time together over the last two weeks. If you don’t mind my saying so, your sister is both incredibly capable and has an almost frightening capacity for focusing on the job at hand.” Shining laughed outright. “That sounds like Twilight alright. That intellect and drive are what made her the most powerful unicorn mage in generations, and that recently got her elevated to princess.” “It doesn’t seem like any of that has gone to her head though. She’s not at all what I had imagined her to be before I met her. She’s a nice, humble and a truly decent woman. Your parents must be remarkable people.” Shining Armor halted abruptly. His expression seemed displeased. “Richard. Everything you’ve just said about Twilight is absolutely true, except for one thing – she’s a pony, not a woman. In a few weeks she swaps bodies back with Alice, and becomes a pony again. Please take that into account in your relationship with her.” Richard felt he was on very unsure ground. He didn’t know how Twilight would feel about the conversation he was having with her brother. “Of course I know that, Shining. Look, we haven’t become romantically involved, if that’s what you’re afraid of. I think we’re both mature adults without any illusions in regards to our situation.” Several emotions crossed the stallion’s face: suspicion, concern and with a visible effort, grudging respect. “I should hope so.” He extracted a key from a pocket of his vest uniform and unlocked a door. The key floated to Richard, who plucked it from the air. “These are you quarters and your office in the Castle. They will be treated as consular territory while you’re in residence here. Come in and I’ll introduce you to your staff.” Taking a deep breath, Richard followed him in. “Okay!” said Twilight rather archly. “Let’s nip this matchmaking talk in the bud.” “Now really Twilight, do you expect Cupid’s arrow to forever pass you by?” Cadence smiled sweetly. “I’m too busy for stuff like that and you know it. Besides, Richard isn’t like that. Sure, he’s a really nice guy, but he’s also a true professional, just like I am! We’re both dedicated to making this portal work is all, and nothing else. I’m sure he’d tell you the same if you asked him. Does everypony have the picture clear, now?” Cadence nodded, but her smile never wavered. Princess Celestia seemed relieved, and Luna just looked serious again. “Good!” said Twilight. “Not that we’ve got that behind us ,let’s finish planning for the week. Have the dragons, gryphons and all the other nations signed the interstellar trade agreement yet?” “Yes, Twilight,” said Luna. “We have inaugurated the bonded warehousing system you recommended here and in Manehattan, as well as the transit-only classifications for the shipping trade. You and Mr. Lyon should find the consular and Customs offices at both locals fully staffed and ready to engage with the merchant guilds.” Twilight breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness somepony’s keeping her mind on the business at hoof.” Luna smiled widely at the praise. “And I understand he is quite fetching for a human, is he not?” Twilight threw her hands into the air and growled. “Fine! If that’s the way its going to be then I’m going to go to my room and see if at least Spike has been keeping up on his homework while I was away!” She stormed out of the room. “Now ladies, we mustn’t tease poor Twilight so mercilessly,” said Princess Celestia archly. “She has a lot on her mind, and she has been exemplary in doing this very important work.” Luna looked only mildly contrite. “Indeed she has, sister. Yet, one needs not be human to see how obvious and close their planets orbit one another.” Cadence smiled sweetly. “If my dusty old aunties can see it, then I suppose it’s obvious to everypony but Twilight, and maybe Richard as well. Something tells me that those two are quite alike in certain respects.” Luna laughed delightedly as Celestia tried to hide her own chuckles behind a gilded white hoof. "Spike! I'm back!" Twilight called out as she entered her apartment in the Canterlot Castle. There was a commotion in her bedroom. Spike's reply came through the semi open door. "Twilight! Hey, I made cookies! Come on in!" "Oh Spike!" She walked across the foyer to her bedroom. "You really shouldn't ha–" "SURPRISE!" Multiple voices shouted as party streamers erupted from everywhere at once. On the wall was a banner that read "Welcome Home!" There was a table with food, and very dear faces were all around her, and Spike ran up and hopped into her arms, and... she suddenly realized how much she had missed everypony. She gave Spike a quick peck on the forehead, and set him down. Her mother was next, approaching with a big smile. In this human shape Twilight was significantly taller than most ponies, so she had to kneel to get close enough for a proper hug. “Hi, Mom! So did Spike behave while I was away?” asked Twilight. "He was a perfect little angel, as usual,” replied her mother while Spike beamed up at her. “We even cooked lasagna together! So how was that other world, dear? Did those humans treat you well?" "They treated me like royalty... when I let them get away with it!” She ruffled the green vanes on the little dragon's head affectionately. “It's kind of like how you and Dad treat Spike when you babysit him." Her mom tilted her head and took a step back, concern growing evident on her pale grey face. "Are you supposed to be this thin? Seems to me the pictures you showed us of Alice were a bit more... muscular." Twilight looked down at herself. "Ohmygosh! I didn't notice any change! I don't want Alice to think I've neglected her body." "Don't worry darling," said Rarity approaching and measuring Twilight with a dress-maker's eye. "I took Alice’s measurements when Princess Celestia wore her shape. It's not enough to be worth taking-in any of the clothes you wear." She stepped into Twilight's outstretched arms. Hugging her warmly, she whispered in her ear. "Although you might want to eat a tad more, and do a bit more exercise, darling." "I guess I kinda got caught up in work." "We didn't expect anything other than total commitment from you, darling!" said Rarity with a big smile. "Oh, and you might find your wardrobe has expanded a bit upon your return. Alice simply won't go out undressed and she quickly exhausted your closet, so I made her – uh you – a few more dresses. I hope you don't mind?" Something in Rarity's smile gave her the impression that Alice's taste in clothes departed significantly from her own. However, now wasn't the time or place to discuss it. "Er, certainly not. It's really very kind of you." Applejack came in for her hug. "And speaking of Alice, she's been having a great time back in Ponyville working as Colgate's dental assistant." Twilight's eyebrows rose. "Why does she bother working – everything's provided for her and I thought this was going to be a vacation?" "Heh, well it turns out she ain't the type of pony to stay idle, so on the first morning she was back in Ponyville she showed up at Colgate's office ready for work! To hear her tell of it Colgate was mighty surprised and happy that she did." She put a hoof next to her mouth and whispered. "The scuttle-butt is that she kinda took a liking to Alice when the poor thang was stuck in Celestia's body a few months ago." Twilight's mouth gaped. "Does Alice know?" Applejack shook her head and laughed. "And I ain't gonna be the one to let that cat outta the bag! Not to mention, Colgate's business has been booming 'cause it ain't every day a pony can get her teeth cleaned by a princess!" Twilight wasn't sure she was entirely comfortable with the situation, but she and Alice had exchanged lists of Dos and Don'ts while inhabiting each other's bodies. Taking a job as a dental assistant hadn't been on Twilight's Don't List. But with Applejack obviously keeping an eye on things she felt reassured. She gave the orange mare another short gratified hug. "Thanks for looking out for Alice, AJ. I really appreciate it!" Applejack blushed. "Awe shucks, sugarcube, we all did." "Yeah!" said Dash, who held a foreleg up for a high one. Twilight looked at her with a raised eyebrow. She shrugged elaborately. "Sheesh, okay. A hug, a hug!" Mushiness dispensed with, Dash was all enthusiasm. "And I introduced Alice to the Daring Do books, which she loves, being a pony with both taste and a can-do attitude!" "A can-do attitude about what?" "Barrel rolls! I gave the girl flying lessons. She's a natural, I tell ya." Seeing the look of horror on Twilight's face, she rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Don't worry, I had two other pegasi spotting and two unicorn on the ground to cushion crashes. I learned my lesson trying to teach you to fly, okay?" Twilight swallowed. "Okay. I guess." She looked back at the blue pegasus. "She did barrel rolls in just two weeks?" "Naw, it just took her two days. And that was after her shift at Colgate's." She raised one eyebrow. "I hope you won't let all that conditioning Alice's done on your flight muscles go to waste when you swap your bodies back!" Twilight blushed. Rainbow Dash had a point. She resolved to devote more time to physical exercise and proper nutrition. Alice was an officer in her country's armed forces, and so had an obligation to keep in shape, an obligation that Twilight was honour bound to fulfill while she lived in Alice's body. “Thanks, Dash.” The cyan mare looked up as Twilight hugged her yet again. When she pulled away Twilight quickly scanned the room. "Hey! Where are Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy?" "TA DA!" Pinkie seemed to appear from nowhere, standing on her hind legs with Richard sandwiched between herself and Fluttershy, who was also reared up on her hind legs. Both of them held onto one of the human's arms. Richard and Fluttershy had confused looks on their faces. "Did ya think we'd have a surprise party for you and not invite this hunk you brought home with you?" asked Pinkie. She raised a hoof to her mouth. "Hey everypony, say hi to Richard!" A chorus of "HI!"s rang out. Pinkie was already chasing her next party impulse, which seemed to be making sure everypony had a glass of punch in hoof. Richard leaned forward. "How did we get here?" He looked confused. "We were walking down the corridor and then..." His eyes scanned the room. Twilight took a deep breath. "Look Richard. Pinkie has an effect on reality. Sometimes it’s better for your sanity not to question events around her too closely." "Oh." He exchanged glances with Fluttershy. "I've met a few of your friends. They're really nice. Fluttershy came up to see how I was settling in, and then Pinkie Pie showed up." He looked up to see Pinkie Pie hanging from the chandelier while tossing what looked like an infinite supply of streamers into the air over them. He looked away. "She says its party time, and then here we are." "Good," said Twilight grabbing his arm before anything else further discombobulated the poor man. "Let me introduce you around." Thinking quickly she spotted Spike. "Hey, Spike, come meet Richard Lyon." The little guy waddled over as Richard stared. "A pleasure to meetcha!" Spike offered a tiny claw. Richard bent over, took it in his relatively huge hand and shook, eyes wide. "You are... a dragon!" the human remarked. “And Twilight’s number one assistant!” Spike added, smiling from ear to ear. His expression suddenly turned suspicious. “You aren’t fixing to steal my job are you?” Richard barked out a nervous laugh. “I wouldn’t dream of it, Spike.” He went down on one knee. “And since Twilight is Ambassador Plenipotentiary to Planet Earth, doesn’t that make your official title ‘Senior Attaché to the Ambassador Plenipotentiary to Planet Earth’, as well as ‘Savior Twice Over of the Crystal Empire’ and ‘Number One Assistant To Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria’?” Spike eyes grew wide as he took in the implications. “Senior Attaché, eh? I like the sound of that!” He rubbed his foreclaws together. “Twi, do you think I could get some business cards printed with that?” “Uh, sure, Spike.” The look she gave Richard was equal parts annoyance and admiration. “I’ll order them first thing tomorrow.” “Cool! I'm gonna go tell Rarity.” They watched as the little dragon rushed off, no doubt to go brag about his new official title. "I had no clue you were so good with kids, Richard," said Twilight. "I come from a big family. And he's a really neat little guy, Twi. So you raised him from an egg?" She blushed at the implied praise. "Yeah, but Princess Celestia had a major hoof in raising both of us, and of course most of the credit goes to my mom and dad." "After having met you, your brother and Spike, I can't wait to meet them as well!" Twilight waved to a light grey coloured mare standing next to a greyish-blue stallion. They waved back. “Then there’s no reason for further delay, is there?” She step forward with Richard in tow.