//------------------------------//
// Part II: First Suspect 
// Story: Mystery Night in Ponyville 
// by Insert Pen Name 
//------------------------------//


Mystery Night in Ponyville
A FiM fic by (Insert Pen Name)
Part II: Prime Suspect


        Twilight Sparkle woke bright and early the next day with an invigourating sense of purpose and determination. Purposefully she made straight for the bathroom, and with great determination she poured herself a glass of water to quench her overnight thirst. On any other day, her morning ablutions would have coincided with the mental composition of a long and detailed list of every tedious little task that needed to be done around the house, but not today. She had a mystery to solve!

        She found Spike already in the kitchen, still dressed in his little suit and mustache from the previous night.

        "I hope you're not planning on wearing that out today," said Twilight as she searched the refrigerator for something pleasant to stick in her mouth.

        "Why not?" asked Spike. "We're still going to solve the mystery of 'Who clobbered Mayor Mare', aren't we?"

        "Yeah, but not in costume," replied Twilight. "This is a serious mystery we're dealing with, Spike."

        "We did it last night," argued Spike.

        "Last night was an emergency. We weren't going to waste time changing, now were we?"
        
        At that moment, there came a loud knocking upon the chamber door. Having failed to find something suitable for breakfast, Twilight plodded over to the door to greet her friends. She was more than a little surprised to find that they too had apparently dressed for the occasion.

        "'Mornin', Twilight! Where's yer costume?" asked Applejack, grinning broadly beneath her grey fedora.

        "Costume? Why would I be wearing my costume today?" exclaimed Twilight. "Why are you wearing your costumes?"

        "To solve a mystery, duh," said Rainbow Dash with a roll of her eyes.

        "Are you all serious? Somepony just tried to kill the Mayor, and you girls are playing dress-up?"

        "Now Twilight, be reasonable," soothed Rarity. "We don't know for sure they were actually trying to kill her per se."

        "Fine, whatever, but not the point!"

        "Look, Twilight," said Applejack bluntly, "I'm all for doin' my civic duty and everything. But the way I see it, if we're gonna' be gallivantin' around town on some contrived investigation, we may as well go the full nine yards and have a bit o' fun with it."

        The others all nodded in agreement.

        "Plus, I did go through all the trouble of dying my hair," added Fluttershy meekly.

        "But..."

        "Come on, Twilight, don't be such a silly stick-in-the-mud!" said Pinkie Pie. "See, Spike's got the right idea!"

        Indeed, Spike had already taken the initiative of fetching Twilight's costume habit for her. For a moment, Twilight remained obstinate beneath the coaxing stares of her friends. For a moment.

        "Fine," she groaned finally.


* * *


        "Hey girls! You do know Nightmare Night was, like, two weeks ago, right?"

        Twilight let out an embarrassed groan. The jeers had started almost as soon as the motley detective crew had left the fortress, and showed no sign of letting up as they trudged through the snowy streets. Unlike Twilight, however, the rest of her friends seemed to relish in the extra attention; even Fluttershy managed to meekly wave back to every pony who commented on their mysterious apparel.

        "Morning, Rarity, love the hat! You too, Pinkie Pie!"

        "Did Fluttershy dye her hair?!"

        "Howdy, Applejack! You find that black bird yet?"

        "So are you a mare of the cloth now, Twilight?"

        "I really like her mane!"

"Whose mane?"

"All of them!"

        Applejack chuckled loudly as Twilight reached back to pull her cowl over her head.

        "You doin' alright, there, Sugarcube? I can tell 'em to lay off if you want."

        "I'm fine, Applejack," sighed Twilight. "Let's just get this started. Spike, do you still have our notes from last night?"

        "Right here, Twilight," said Spike diligently.

        "Good. Our first stop is the Pony Express office. We need to find out who was carrying that package yesterday."

        "So we're still going with the 'mysterious courier' angle, eh?" said Rainbow.

        "Um, aren't we sort of jumping to conclusions there?" interjected Fluttershy. "I mean, it's just a package. I get packages in the mail all the time, and nothing bad's ever happened to me."

        "It is something of a long shot, yes," agreed Rarity. "But so far, it's the only lead we have."

        "Besides, what've you ever done to an-tagonize the mailpony?" joked Applejack.

        "She did stuff him into the mailbox that one time..." answered Pinkie Pie, much to Fluttershy's embarrassment.

        "Alright girls, we're here," said Twilight suddenly. "Act professional."

        The Pony Express office was a modest building on the outskirts of Ponyville, little more than a glorified warehouse with stone block walls and a broad tin roof. The face of the building was barren save for a plain wooden sign, upon which the words 'PONY EXPRESS' were printed in large block letters beneath the silhouetted image of a smiling pony with a crate on her back. A small sign marked 'OPEN' hung in the window by the front door.

        Inside, they found a small lobby with four green chairs, one of which was missing a leg, and a battered desk behind which sat a bored clerk with her hindhooves on the desktop. She straightened up immediately as soon as Twilight and the gang walked in, however, and greeted them with the sort of visceral half-smile that clerks alone have long mastered.

        "Welcome to Pony Express," she said mechanically. "How can we help you today?"

        "Yes, we'd like to see the manager of this establishment, if you please," said Rarity, taking the initiative straight away. "And don't bother with the feigned pleasantries, thank-you."

        "Whatever. He's in the main office over there," said the mare, indicating a wooden green door opposite her desk. "He's not in a good mood, so don't say I didn't warn you."

        "Why isn't he in a good mood?" asked Fluttershy.

        The mare shrugged.

        "He never is. You get used to it. Have a nice day or whatever."

        The interior of the office was not a room to elevate the senses. A single struggling ceiling lamp combined with the grubby slats of an ancient window blind conspired to bathe the room in a sickly jaundiced pallour. The filing cabinets had clearly not been dusted in months, and had probably not been opened in even longer, judging from the mess of loose papers and envelopes and folders that littered nearly every available surface. Central to the room was a solid and imposing walnut desk, behind which sat a solid and imposing pegasus stallion with a chestnut brown coat and an unshaven face. Next to the desk sat a beat-up wastepaper basket that was overflowing with shredded or scrunched-up papers, as well as the distinct wrappings of several bottom-shelf salt-licks.

        The stallion gave no notice to their presence. He sat hunched over the desk, pencil between his teeth, struggling furiously with a single sheet of figures, and he was clearly losing. Grumbling, he quickly punched a series of numbers into an adding machine, pulled the lever, found the results to be singularly nonsensical, and reacted appropriately by sweeping the whole mess off his desk onto the floor. Only then did he acknowledge the six mares and the young dragon who stood before him.

        "Who the feather are you?" he asked gruffly.

        Rather than dignify him with a verbal response, Twilight Sparkle simply reached up and drew back her cowl.

        "Oh, it's you girls..." he said awkwardly, recognising Ponyville's resident princess. "Sorry about that, Princess. Long day."

        "It's 10:00 in the morning," scoffed Applejack.

        "Yeah, and I can't wait for it to end," he said, glancing sideways at the mess beside him.

        Twilight rolled her eyes.

        "Look, Mister...?"

        "Crates. Crafty Crates," answered the stallion. "My friends call me 'Boxy'."

        "Okay, 'Boxy', we'll cut to the quick. We're trying to trace a delivery to Town Hall yesterday. Do you have any records about who delivers your packages?"

        "Sure thing, Princess," said Boxy, reaching down beneath his desktop. "Give me a moment."

        From one of his desk drawers, Boxy soon produced a thin green ledger, inscribed with a date in bold black marker: 


AE2014, Sept 14-


        "That's all our deliveries going back to mid-September," explained Boxy. "I got the rest of the year in here too, if you want."

        "No, thank-you, this should be fine," said Twilight politely.

        Flipping open the ledger's hard green cover revealed a series of tables which listed the date the parcel was posted, the destination, the time the delivery was expected to take, a brief description of the parcel, the courier entrusted with the parcel, and finally the status of the status of the delivery, like so:


Sept 14; 105 3rd Ave Manehatten; Overnight; Small parcel, fragile; Courier 3; Completed


"What's with the numbers?" asked Pinkie Pie as they scanned down the lists. "Everypony's marked 'Courier Four' or 'Courier Five' or 'Courier Sixteen', and so on. Is it some kind of super-secret code?"

"Sort of," said Boxy with a shrug. "I don't dole out the packages face-to-face. What we've got is a bunch of drop-boxes, each with a different number, and each one has a courier assigned to it."

"So 'Courier Twelve' is the pony assigned to drop-box number twelve," concluded Twilight.

"That's right. It's also their locker number, and their employee ID, and stuff. Anyway, whenever I get a new package to be delivered, I just stick it in whichever box is free, along with the manifest and stuff, and then it's up to that courier to do the rest," explained Boxy.

"Where are these boxes?" asked Applejack.

"Out in the warehouse. You can't miss 'em; they're big and green just like everything else around here."

"Good to know," nodded Twilight before turning to her trusty assistant. "Alright Spike, let's see if we can find last night's package in here."

Pleased to be of service, Spike dutifully rifled through the ledger until he reached the last page of entries. As it turned out, theirs was the very last one on the list:


Nov 17;  Ponyville Mayor's Office; Same-Day; Large envelope, important; Courier 6; Completed


"Bingo..." said Twilight. "Do you remember this one, Boxy?"

"Oh yeah," nodded Boxy. "Came in last night around 6:00-ish, I think."

"Courier Six..." Dash read aloud. "That's our pony, I guess."

"You should find her in the warehouse," said Boxy. "No reason for her to be anywhere else."

"Her?" asked Fluttershy.

"They're all 'her's," shrugged Boxy.

"Good to know. We'll take it from here then, thank-you," said Twilight curtly before leading the group back into the lobby.

"So, we're lookin' for a 'Courier-Six', eh?" said Applejack.

"That's what was in the book," said Dash. "Let's check out the warehouse, see if she's around. Or if anypony knows her."

"I somehow doubt we'll find her," said Rarity as they now approached the double doors to warehouse proper. "After all, what sort of pony just shows up to work the next day after committing felony assault?"

"Somepony who really really likes their job, obviously," suggested Pinkie Pie. "And the job was marked 'completed', so she must have come back at some point afterwards."

"Either way, we'd best check it out," said Applejack. "It's was good detectives do."

"Yeah, that's us alright," said Twilight sardonically. "So let's see what we've got in here... woah."

If the state of Boxy's office could be considered something along the lines of organised chaos, then the interior of the warehouse was more akin to chaotic organisation. Great mountains of crates and boxes teetered over equally high mounds of envelopes of varying size. Throughout the warehouse, ponies scurried about like a nest of ants, pulling carts, pushing dollies, operating cranes, inspecting labels, and building mighty fortresses out of empty cardboard boxes, which then came under siege from enemy forklifts.

Set against the wall just right of the door were the drop-boxes Boxy had mentioned, eighteen in all. Each was painted green with a brass number on the front and a bright red metal flag on the side. At the moment, none of the boxes appeared to be in use.

"My word, how are we supposed to find anypony in this mess?" asked Rarity.

"Easy," scoffed Dash. "Like this."

Dash immediately stepped into the vast room and seized the nearest pony she could by the scruff of their neck, in this instance a nervous young stallion pushing a mail cart.

"Where's Courier Six?!" she demanded, pressing her nose firmly against his.

The unfortunate stallion gulped, and extended a shaky hoof over Dash's shoulder towards a bank of lockers on the wall behind her. Like the drop-boxes, these too were painted green and marked with brass numbers. Locker number-six easily stood out by virtue of that fact that it was the only one that was open, its owner rummaging blissfully about inside. The angle of the door concealed her face from the detectives' view, but the rest of her body was plainly visible, from her dull grey coat and straw-coloured tail, right down to her soap-bubble cutie-mark...

"No... way," said Dash, half-torn between amusement and disbelief.

Whistling softly to herself, the mare straightened back up, cheerfully slammed the locker door shut, and spotted the intrepid investigators immediately out of the corner of her distorted periphery.

"Oh hey girls!" said Derpy Hooves with a cheery wave. "What's with the clothes? Is it Nightmare Night again already?"

Nopony answered. Instead, the confused courier soon found herself backing away as Twilight and the others moved to surround her.

"Derpy Hooves," said Twilight when it was clear that Derpy had nowhere to run. "It seems you were in the Mayor's office last night..."

What little colour there was in Derpy's face quickly drained away.

"W-who, me?" she stammered. "N-no, you must be mistaken, I w-was-"

"Spare us, darling," said Rarity coldly.

"We know it was you, Derpy," said Rainbow. "We already checked the books, Courier-Six."

Derpy gulped as beads of sweat trickled down her brow.

"N-no, wait, you've got the wrong pony. I'm not Courier-Six."

"Then how come there's a big ol' number-six on yer locker?" asked Applejack.

"Uh... because... i-it's really a nine!" declared Derpy desperately. "Y-yeah, that's right. I'm a-actually Courier-Nine, and the number just got flipped over, get it?"

Even Pinkie Pie was unamused at that one.

"There's no use trying to lie to us, Derpy. You are coming with us," said Twilight firmly.

"Oh. O-okay," said Derpy glumly. "S-sure, just give me a second to... Fly out that window!"

And before anypony could react, Derpy did exactly that, propelling herself straight into the air through a conveniently open skylight and out into the wild blue yonder.

"Shoot! After her, Rainbow!"

But Dash was already gone, her cream-coloured suit hat drifting back down from the skylight.


* * *


Few ponies wake up in the morning expecting to witness anything more exciting than the morning traffic. Ponyville was certainly no exception, but once a pony has witnessed the return of a fallen princess, frequent invasions by hostile or criminally negligent wildlife, and the re-ascent of several prime evils, it does tend to take away much of the surprise when something exciting actually does happen... such as a high-speed airborne chase between a courier and a weather technician dressed as a Los Pegasus detective, for instance.

Derpy Hooves was quick, Dash had to give her that. She had qualified for the Best Young Fliers Competition after all. Of course, nopony could match Rainbow Dash for sheer velocity, but what Derpy lacked in speed she made up for in maneuverability, banking and diving at random in a desperate effort to keep Dash from closing the gap.

Their chase soon took them right into the streets of Ponyville, Derpy having clearly realised that she stood no chance in the open sky. Dash sped after her down the main street, dodging pedestrians and other obstacles as they went, unaware for the moment that others had joined the chase.

"Hi Dashie!"

"Waaa! Pinkie Pie?!"

"That's me!" said Pinkie giddily as she kept pace alongside her friend, her queer red hat remaining firmly balanced on her head.

"What are you doing here?"

"Twilight sent us to lend a hoof!" answered Applejack, who was running hard on Dash's other side with Spike clinging tight to her mane for dear life. "You keep on her, we'll split up an' try to head her off at the pass!"

Dash nodded and the three ponies separated. Derpy continued to lead her through narrow paths and alleys, but Dash refused to be lost so easily. Eventually the chase emerged out into one of the less crowded areas of town, where the streets were wider and the yards larger.

"I have you now..." muttered Dash to herself.

Suddenly, Derpy spread her wings against the wind and brought herself almost to a complete stop. Before Dash could react, she had already overshot her by a good fifty metres.

"Horsefeathers!"

Dash whipped around, but Derpy was already gone. For a fleeting instant, the full weight of her failure came crashing down on her. She had failed. Utterly. She had let her overconfidence get the better of her, and had lost the perp as a result. Perhaps, she thought, there was a valuable lesson to be taken out of this debacle that wait, was that a grey blur she just saw speeding between those two houses?!

In a flash, Dash was off on the trail again, her introspection left abandoned in the dust. Derpy was on the ground running now, leaping over garden fences and tearing through backyards as she went. Sensing her opportunity, Dash climbed a short distance before throwing herself into a dive at the fleeing courier. As she neared, Derpy turned to look behind her, and for an instant Dash beheld the panic in her eyes...

And then there was an explosion.

Pink smoke and confetti clouded Dash's vision even as she slammed into Derpy from above. Together they crashed through somepony's backyard fence and tumbled the length of that somepony's backyard before coming to an abrupt and painful end against the side of a navy-blue toolshed that also, incidentally, belonged to that particular somepony.

"Whoo-hoo! Told you my Party Cannon would come in handy!"

"Fair enough, though I still reckon I could've lassoed her without wingin' poor Rainbow."

"Ugh, who're you callin' poor?" groaned Dash as she extricated herself from beneath the dazed Derpy Hooves.

"Oh, nopony special," teased Applejack. "You two alright?"

Despite her unfavourable landing, Dash was largely unhurt. Derpy, however, seemed greatly disoriented by the ordeal, and the three ponies plus Spike cautiously allowed her some space to regain herself.

"I'm okay," said Derpy finally, before suddenly realising who she was talking to. "Oh crap..."

Before Derpy could find her hooves again, Dash seized her by the scruff of her neck and slammed her into the side of the blue shed.

"End of the line, Derpy," spat Dash. "You're in big trouble now."

"No!" Derpy wailed. "Please, i-it wasn't me! I-I d-didn't do it! I don't wanna go to jail! I don't wanna get my wings clipped!"

"Get your wings clipped...?!" repeated Dash, visibly alarmed.

"Forget that," said Applejack bluntly. "If it weren't you, Derpy, then why in the hay did ya run from us?"

"I was scared," sniffed Derpy. "I-I mean, what would you do if a bunch of crazy ponies in kooky suits accused you of trying to kill the Mayor?"

"Ah, but we never said anything about anypony trying to kill the Mayor!" declared Pinkie Pie triumphantly.

"I'm not stupid, Pinkie Pie," replied Derpy quietly. "Why else would you be asking me about last night?"

"So ya were at the Mayor's office," pressed Applejack.

"I... yes," answered Derpy reluctantly. "I got the package in my dropbox yesterday evening. I went to the Mayor's office and I... I..."

"Go on," coaxed Spike gently, even as he wrote every word down on his pad.

"I... There wasn't anypony outside," Derpy continued now in earnest. "So I knocked on the Mayor's door myself. Nopony answered, so I looked in and... oh gosh, she looked so horrible..."

"Wait, so the Mayor was already bonked when you showed up?" asked Pinkie Pie, incredulous.

"T-that's right," gulped Derpy. "At first I didn't know what to do, but then.... then I heard hoofsteps coming upstairs, and I panicked. What if they thought I did it? O-or what if it was the pony who did it, looking for witnesses? So I flew up to the ceiling to hide, and then I saw the upper windows there, so I went out that way before they came in."

"And then you slid down the roof and took off from the balcony," ventured Spike.

"Y-yes, how did you-?"

"We found yer tracks," sighed Applejack. "Did ya see who it was that came in?"

"Er, no, I didn't. Sorry."

"I see," murmured Applejack. "And you expect us to believe all this?"

"Actually, her story makes sense," said Spike. "If there was nopony outside the door, but the Mayor was already down, then Derpy must have arrived after Raven found the Mayor and ran to get help. The hoofsteps that Derpy heard must have been the ponimedics."

"Y-yeah, I guess that's it then," agreed Derpy, visibly relieved.

"There's just one more thing..." said Dash, before suddenly pulling Derpy up and slamming her anew against the shed. "Why did-"

"What the bloody hell is going on out here?!"

All eyes turned to the source of the voice behind them. Standing outside the back door of the house were two familiar stallions who regarded the scene before them with outrage. The foremost of the two was a young brown earth-stallion with bright blue eyes and a messy chestnut mane. The other behind him was also an earth-stallion, myopic and wrinkled and liver-spotted with age, who wore the black and white collar of the clergy.

"Oooh, hi Doctor Whoof!" waved Pinkie Pie. "Hi, Mister Waddle!"

Mister Waddle waved back, but Whoof refused to lift his resolute glare.

"Anypony care to explain what I'm looking at here?" he asked with a grimace.

"Settle down now, Doc," cautioned Applejack. "This here's official town business. Ain't none o' yer concern."

"Is that so?" replied Whoof. "Well I beg to differ, seeing as this is my backyard you're in, my fence you just smashed, and... oh yes, my girlfriend you're working over!"

Applejack raised a hoof as if to retort, but soon slumped back down in resignation.

"He's got us there," said Spike.

Sensing her chance, Derpy wrenched herself free of Dash's grip and hurried to her beau's waiting embrace.

"It's alright, Derpy," he said tenderly to her as she buried her face in his shoulder. "Now, what in blazes is this all about?"

"We're solving a mystery!" beamed Pinkie Pie. "The mystery of who hit Mayor Mare over the back of the head with a picture frame in her office sometime last night and got her sent to the hospital!"

"Ah yes, I heard about that," nodded Mister Waddle. "Ugly business."

"But what does that have to do with- Oh gad, you don't think Derpy did it?!" asked Whoof in alarm.

"Not anymore we don't," said Applejack.

"Wait, we don't?!" asked Rainbow Dash, incredulous.

"Nope. Her story checks out."

Relief washed over Derpy's face like no simile has ever described. By contrast, Waddle's face seemed to darken for a moment before resuming his usual elderly cheer.

"Well, I'd best mosey off," he said brightly. "Lot's to do today. See you all later."

"'Bye, Mister Waddle," called Pinkie Pie as the old cleric departed. "See you on Sunday. I'll bring doughnuts!"

"The rest of you had best leave as well," said Whoof flatly. "Best of luck in your investigation."

"Thanks, Doc," nodded Applejack. "I'll send Big Macintosh over to fix the fence later. 'Bye."

With no further words spoken, the four took their leave and started the trek back to the Pony Express office. Only when they were well out of sight of Doctor Whoof's house did Rainbow Dash cut loose.

"So what, we're just letting her off? Just like that? After all the trouble she put us through?"

"Forget it, Dash, it's Ponyville..." said Pinkie gruffly before allowing herself a giggle.

"Do you honestly think she did it?" Applejack retorted.

Dash considered that for a moment.

"I guess I don't. I mean, she had the opportunity and everything, but no motive. Still, I get the feeling we weren't getting the whole story out of her."

"She was scared, Dash," said Spike. "Ponies tend to panic when you accuse them of attempted murder or whatever this turns out to be."

"Hey Dashie, what were you going to ask Derpy before the Doc came out anyway?" asked Pinkie Pie.

"Oh that? I was going to ask about when she dropped the parcel on the desk in her story," explained Dash.

"Probably just tossed it there without thinkin' before she left," shrugged Applejack. "Ya tend to do things automatically when you're on the job. Seems like a dumb thing to nail her to the wall over."

"Yeah..." nodded Dash. "I guess it was."




To be continued...