A Survivors Guide to Equestria

by Onomonopia


Coping

"Still can't believe that I made it out of all of that with only a broken arm this time," Ryan muttered as the silver mare repaired his arm. "I thought from the way Luna was talking about her and the amount of power Applejack had that I was going to be a blood stain on the wall by the end of the fight. Thanks for not kicking my head off by the way. You're now my favorite pony."

"No problem," AJ replied with slight hesitation as she saw the bone get reset. Ryan masked the pain as best he could even though it hurt like crazy. "Ah'm so sorry that ah did this to ya. Ah...ah can't believe what that chaotic Element made me do. Ah've run buffalo off their lands and driven ponies from their homes. How can ah expect them to forgive me after this?"

"You were all under the effect of Discord and forced against your wills to fight for him. Considering the rest of Equestria was as well, I am certain that nopony will blame you for the way you have acted," Luna comforted. "To be fair, the other Elements had done far worse than you, so don't be too hard on yourself."

"I think what we did under Discord's magic is something that we'd all want to forget," Dash growled as she and the others entered the medical bay. "Sorry to walk into your home like this human, but we have issues to discuss. Twilight and the rest of us had a talk and we want to go after Discord while the human...are we ever going to get your name?" she asked Ryan, getting a middle finger as response "Whatever, we want to go after Discord while the human, Zecora and the silver thing go after Pinkie."

"I agree with Rainbow, Discord is far too dangerous to remain at large for any longer," Rarity agreed. "The only reason he has not tried to place us back under his command is because of a whim. If he were to change his mind who knows when or where he would attack." Twilight and Fluttershy agreed with their friends, but Luna shook her head at their plan.

"I could understand why you want to defeat Discord as soon as possible, but we cannot risk splitting up," Luna said. "The only way we can defeat him is with the Elements and without Pinkie we will not stand a chance. Despite how strong each of you are, you are at your strongest when you are together."

"Plus I don't want to have to bail you out if you go get yourselves turned again," Ryan chimed in as he flexed the muscles in his arm, hoping that the magic healing would hold up. "And after how much pain I had to go through the first time, next time I might just destroy the Elements altogether so it can't happen again."

"Yeah, well this time we'd be ready for Discord," Dash growled at the human. "There'd be no need for you to save us like last time."

"Please, without my help you would still be in the sky creating statues to yourself out of clouds while the land below was in the hands of chaos," Ryan smugly said as he smirked at Dash's anger. "Not to mention all of the ponies that had been placed under your chaos that you used as your personal playthings. But please, tell me how you were going to free yourself and defeat the guy that beat all six of you and Celestia by yourself?"

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that?" Dash snarled as she took up a fighting stance, the others groaning at the idea of the two having another pointless battle. "I've had it with your attitude. Time somepony knocked you down a peg."

"Please Dash, we've done this song and dance before," Ryan cackled as he drew his batons and let the lightning crackle down the sides of them.

"Yeah, but last time I was going easy on you," Dash growled. "This time I feel like beating ya half to death." Dash thought she was going to intimidate him with those words, but instead Ryan let out a chilling laugh that caused shivers to run down their spines.

"Come on Dash, only half to death? Let's go all the way Dash, I'm ready to die." All of the ponies looked at Ryan with uncertainty in their eyes, none of them knowing whether or not he would fight them to the death. The look in his eyes told them that he would. Zecora smacked him in the back of the head and he seemed to snap out of his trance, but the ponies till looked at him with a bit of fear.

"Human...you really can't mean that," Fluttershy softly said, distracting Ryan and Zecora from their argument.

"Of course I mean it, I've been ready to die since the moment I got here," Ryan said, getting more concerned looks from the ponies. "In fact, I'm amazed I managed to survive this long with all the shit I've gone through."

"Do not forget your oath to your friend that kept you alive in the end," Zecora added.

"Right, that was the reason. Man, I really am losing it," Ryan said with a shrug and a dry chuckle.

"You're crazy," AJ whispered.

"And you're all just now figuring this out?" Ryan chuckled, looking into their confused eyes with disbelief. "Ponies, I survived the death of my home and found my way to a land that wanted to kick the shit out of me every five minutes. I've fought hydras, wolves and things that I didn't know existed the entire time I've been here. And now, I'm fighting six of the most powerful ponies and their even more powerful leader in a desperate attempt to overthrow the go, yes let me repeat, the god of chaos. Cleary I am not all there."

"The death of your home?" Luna asked with confusion. "I saw the human world burning and I heard what Celestia told me, but I thought that you-"

"That I was what, joking?" Ryan said in a very dark tone that scared the princess of the night. "No Luna, my race is gone. Dead. Burning like a fire. I'm, as far as I know, the last human alive. You didn't tell them any of this?" he asked the silver mare.

'It was not my place to talk about such things,' the silver mare replied, gaining her a grateful look from the human before he looked back to the princess who looked like she was trying to figure something out.

"So...you were telling the truth?" she asked in a whisper. "Humanity really did kill each other to the point of extinction?"

"Well, it's not extinction until I bite the bullet, but oh yeah, we killed each other good," Ryan said with a smirk as he leaned back against the wall and looked up at the ceiling. "Although I can't give us too much credit, I was told that all of those bombs were supposed to blow the planet into little pieces, but since you showed me that it's still out there tells me that we greatly overestimated our tech."

"You created weapons that could completely destroy your world?" Lyra asked, trying to wrap her head around that thought.

"Multiple times over as a matter of fact. We humans may not have magic or wings, but there is no other race with a desire to destroy more than us. We're amazing at it," Ryan laughed. "With a simple turn of a key, we wiped billions of ourselves off the planet in a matter of minutes, turning what used to be the green and blue planet into one giant fireball." The ponies looked too horrified for words and Ryan noticed that even Zecora seemed shocked by his words, though the silver mare nodded her head sadly.

"And you're just...okay with this?" Luna asked, shocked at the flippancy of his tone. "Okay that your world is gone?"

"Okay? Hell no, I was a complete wreck when I found out and considered ending himself a few times," Ryan darkly said. "You know what survivor’s guilt is right? Well multiply that by your entire race and you'll be at what I feel. But through the brilliant idea of burying those emotions deep and changing myself into an asshole that deserves every beating he gets, I allowed myself to...cope."

"How did you manage this?" Luna asked weakly, the only pony in the room that could speak at this point.

"You can thank the zebra over there for lighting a fire under my ass and reminding me why I have to survive, at least until Discord is defeated," Ryan said as he jerked his thumb at Zecora. "She reminded me that while I may not have been able to prevent what happened to my home, I can help stop it the same thing from happening to yours. That's why I'm always so ready to throw myself at a god or the occasional giant monster."

"Yet you haven't killed any of us...or hurt us too bad for that matter," Fluttershy pointed out after processing what she had just learned.

"Yeah, well, just because you're insane doesn't mean that you lose all of your values that you had when you weren't crazy," Ryan said with a shrug. "I'm just sick and tired of death and killing. Although I considered it with you once or twice Dash." The ponies were still trying to process the new information about Ryan before he smiled and clapped his hands together. "But enough about the sad, woe is me backstory, let's talk about the next pony I get to beat up."

"Yes...Pinkie," Luna said hesitantly, not certain of what to make of the human anymore. "She has taken up residence...in the middle of the desert for some reason. While not as strong as Applejack or as magical as Twilight, she is...who I consider to be the most dangerous of the group under the influence of chaos."

"And that's why we saved her for last," Ryan said, remembering what Luna had told him a while back. "But aside from the little I've been told about her and her abilities I still don't understand why she would be the most dangerous." A chill ran through the room as all of the ponies and even Zecora shared a look with each other that spelled trouble.

"Pinkie has another side to her generally cheerful disposition," Twilight explained when none of the other ponies answered Ryan's question. "A darker, much more violent side. While it never surfaces when we're around her, we're all aware of it and how easy it might be to set her off. But if she's under Discords influence, then it is entirely possible that this other side will be the dominant one and the kind Pinkie we know will be gone."

"Not to mention there's that weird ability of hers," Lyra chimed in. "You know, like the times she vanishes and reappears someplace else or whenever she pulls her party canon out of thin air? Or how about the time when she had an entire discussion with somepony that wasn't there? Or her ability to do essentially anything she wants?"

"And the Pinkie sense," Twilight added, noting that the human was writing all of this new information down in his guide. "Which warns her of whenever something bad or crazy is going to happen around her. The more that I think about it now, the more I realize that princess Luna might be right in saying that this is our greatest challenge yet." To her surprise, Ryan let out a small chuckle as he closed his guide and put it back inside of his backpack.

"I don't know why any of you expected this to be easy, considering all the shit we've gone through just to get to this point," Ryan reminded them. "But this is how the fight's going to go down. We'll show up, throw insults at each other and then start fighting. She'll dominate for a while, I'll probably break everything again and then through some miracle we'll defeat her and save the day. Any questions?" he asked with a smile, getting a dumbfounded look from the ponies.

"Were you not paying attention to what we just told you about her?" Luna asked in disbelief. "With the power of chaos running through her she is probably now a crazed psychopath!" Ryan gave her another bone chilling laugh before he looked at her with his crazy eyes again.

"That's the beauty of it Luna. So am I."

====M=A=Z=A=H=S====

The silver mare took in a breath as she steeled herself for her next task, knowing that it had been a long time coming yet she had put it off. As the stars above looked down on her and illuminated her already silverish form, she walked across the front of the sip to where Ryan rested against the railing, looking up at the moon.

"For the last time, nothing else hurts. Stop looking for reason to try and use that vomit inducing magic on me," Ryan teased with a smirk as he saw the glow of the mare next to him. "So why are you here to bother me now? Hyperion show up and you need to throw my body at him repeatedly until he gets tired?" His words were said in a joking tone, but he saw the mare hang her head a bit at his words and his smile turned quickly. "Did I say something that offended you? Look, I didn't mean to this time."

'No Ryan, you have no need to apologize,' the mare said with pain in her voice. 'I am the one who should be apologizing. For how I've treated you, for not helping you to find out what happened to your home again. I am just so sorry.' Ryan raised an eyebrow at her before slowly reaching back for one of his batons, her sudden change in attitude putting him on guard.

"Why would you apologize now? Last time I checked you said you enjoyed bringing guys like me down a level," Ryan muttered as he felt his hand grasp around the weapons base.

'Because despite going through your mind and seeing your past, I have been...cruel to you,' the mare bitterly said. 'It is my own fault. I have been at this for nearly ten years now and I have become bitter, with my words becoming harsh. You did not deserve the grief I have given you, yet I continue to be cruel. I am so sorry.'

Ryan let go of the weapon, though he did move away from her a bit before answering. "Like I said earlier, I deserve most of the crap I get for what I say. And if there's one thing you should have learned about me by now is that I can take pain. In fact, I relish it...ah crap, I'm turning into a masochist."

'Yet after all you've been through...all the pain you've buried just to function each day,' the mare began, but Ryan let out an exasperated groan before looking down at her with annoyance written all over his face.

"Look, I understand that you feel bad for the way you treated me and on any other day I would guilt trip you for fun, but you have no need to apologize. Despite being stuck with my charming personality, you have saved my life, healed my wounds and helped me out of a number of bad spots," Ryan said to her with a snarl. "And I still owe you my life, so until we're on even footing again, how about you save the I'm sorry?"

The silver mare looked at him for a moment before a dry chuckle escaped her lips. 'Very well, once you have repaid your debt to me I will apologize. All that you have to do now is try to stay alive until we reach that point.'

"That I can do easily." Ryan then narrowed his eyes as he saw spotlights off in the distance and what sounded like music playing, along with a whole lot of fireworks. With a smirk he grabbed his batons and started smacking them together, sending loud clangs across the ship. "Alright everyone we're here! Time to wake up!" He let out a laugh as he said this as he turned to face the giant tent that now shown over the horizon. "Because it's party time!"