“Have I ever mentioned that twelve is my favorite number?” Lancie mused.
“Nyeeehhhh...” Rainbow Dash, her mane still moist from a shower, teetered into the dimly-lit recesses of her bedroom. “Please, spare me the monologue...”
The statue sat on the edge of the pegasus' bedside table, swinging his stone legs. “It's such a curious little figure to put so much effort and weight into. Twelve. A dozen. What kind of a queer word is 'dozen'? Almost like the wordsmith who crafted it doze to sleep at the dictionary slab when he concocted it.”
“Mmmmmfnnngh...” Rainbow Dash fwomped into bed. “Lancie, please, I have to be up early tomorrow to kick clouds for Applejack.”
“Oh, and heaven forebid we should ruin that little act of chivalry, hmmm?” Lancie smirked, then counted the ends of his talons and antlers. “A jury of equine peers. A baker's dozen. The number of eggs in an egg carton. Hmmmmm.... You know, I think the first thing I'm gonna do when I get my stomach back is enjoy an omelette.”
“What's any of this have to do with anything?” Rainbow's muffled voice grumbled into her pillow.
“Well, while you're gone doing... I dunno—Mary Sue stuff for most of the day, I'm stuck here with nothing but my thoughts to entertain me.”
“Sounds like Hell.”
“Indeed. And, as always, my thoughts drift to my sweet handsome body. Seems like nature granted me a certain number of jigsaw pieces to keep together at a moment's burp. And—the way I figure it—if I'm the antler and you just found the turkey leg, then there's... let's see... three more legs... another antler... a tail... a wing... another wing... a head... a mouth... and a torso...”
“Mmmmmf... could ya help me out? I can't really brain good right now.”
“Twelve pieces. Twelve pieces altogether.” Lancie chuckled. “Ho ho!” He smiled a toothy grin. “No wonder I'm so enamored with that number!”
“Nnnnnnghhhh...” Rainbow turned over, suffocating herself with the pillow. “I refuse to believe that I've still got ten pieces of you left to grab!”
“Oh, don't be such a dithering dunkhead.” He smirked. “Odds are, ponies on the black market simply couldn't resist the opportunity to have more and more pieces to me. More than likely, you'll find a whole smorgasborg of smex to scoop up in your blue arms once you finally fly to Manehattan. A smexasborg! Hah hah!”
“Save your laughter for when I've got the energy to kick you.” Rainbow turned the light out, set her alarm clock, and flung the covers over her curled-up body. “Gotta... rest up...” She yawned, then wilted into the folds of the duvet. “Sisterhooves... Social... awaiting...”
“Ungh, with a name like that, it'll be no small wonder that you end up gagging in your sleep.”
“Mrmmfff... your mother is... gagging in her...” Rainbow slurred and snored. “Nnnyyttt... panties...”
“Good night, fare pegasus,” Lancie said, hopping down onto the floor. “May a flight of interrobangs explode thee to thy rest.”
Rainbow Dash said nothing; merely slumbered.
Lancie saw it. He glanced at her, then back at her bedside table. His stone eyes blinked, and he smirked to himself. “Hmmmm... hmmm-heheheheheheh...”