Chapter III: Memories
I awoke to the sound of a small bird singing at my window sill. The tiny blue and white ball of feathers flew off as soon as I began to stir in my bed, and as I turned onto my back a thin smile spread across my face and closed my eyes. The gentle morning glow was beginning to seep through the hills that surrounded Ponyville, rolling over them like a cloud would jump through the sky. Chuckling, I rose from my bed and sauntered over to the washroom of my apartment, where upon arrival, I made for the shower. The water cascaded over my naked body relieving of so many stresses and challenges over the past couple weeks, but as I put a hand up on one of the walls to steady myself, I let my mind wander.
Of course, I had grown accustomed to living life in Ponyville & Equestria. One could ask me how long it took me to get used to little creatures that were only waist high, yet somehow stronger than me. Well, the simple answer was it took me about three months to finally understand Equestrian culture and the logistics of everyday living.
I closed my eyes and winced as a jolt of pain shot through my chest, shaking me free from my mid-morning daydream. It wasn't unusual for me to experience pains like that; most of the time I simply shrugged it off and went on with the day's events. As a child back on Earth, I was diagnosed with a Valve Heart Murmur, which in laymen's terms means that the valves on my heart don't always work properly and sometimes let excess blood in, causing severe pain. They were rare and uncommon among humans and on Earth, and the medical fields of Equestria were interested in what I had to say about them
Feeling groggy in the morning also wasn't usual. I usually needed a kick or coffee to get me going, but I felt today was an exception.
It was Saturday and I felt as though it should be a time for relaxation and recuperation, as the Harvest was only a couple days away. Sighing a content happy groan, I let my mind wander.
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I opened my eyes to see a flowing field of yellow and white grass, gentling blowing in an evening summer's breeze. The air was crisp, warm and clear, like after a thunderstorm. No one was around as I walked through the knee tall grass, it gently brushing against my legs. I don't know why, but I felt so at peace while I was here. Nothing bothered me, there wasn't any pain: nothing.
The once cloudless sky began to darken as thunder clouds raced in at an un-Earthly speed. The distant rumble of thunder sounded its arrival. The air began to dampen almost immediately as I felt the heaviness of the rain start to set in. It felt cool and rushed over my body, soaking my clothes and skin. I felt my hair flatten against my head as I continued to mindlessly walk, with no clear destination in sight. I scanned the gloomy landscape to see one lone tombstone, unmarked, standing atop a desolate hill under a bare tree. A chill wind wrapped around my body as I walked past it. All I knew at that moment was, I had never felt so numb.
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I opened my eyes to be met with a familiar scene; my bathroom. I glanced around seeing that I had somehow sat down in the shower, the hot water still coating my body. I chuckled as I turned off the shower and stepped out.
Oh, sweet memories, I mused as I toweled myself dry.
The picture of that place was so clear in my head I felt I could walk out my front door and be greeted by it. But, it was just a dream.
I was snapped fully awake by a sharp sequence of knocks at my front door accompanied by a purple glow outside. As I strode towards the door, I smiled softly as I was met by Twilight Sparkle. Her ears perked directly towards me as her muzzle grew into a warm smile.
"Good morning Jackson. Sleep well?"
Her voice was soft and caring, almost reminding me of my mother.
"Yes in fact I did Twilight. Thanks for asking," I replied with a warm smile. Princess Twilight Sparkle had been one of the first ponies to welcome me formally to Equestria as well as get me accustomed to their ideals and customs.
"Good. I was just coming by to say hi. We haven't spent any time together lately..." she said as her voice trailed off. Her eyes wandered over me until they met with mine, her big, purple eyes radiating with the morning's soft glow. She was very attractive for a pony, I'll have to admit that. Her sleek figure was accented by her large wings and long flowing purple and pink mane. She stood just over waist height to me, being taller than most of the mares in Ponyville. Others like Big Mac were about shoulder height for me.
I smiled warmly and scratched her on her head. "You're right," I replied. "We should hang out more."
Twilight's stance changed slightly to a more relaxed demeanor, crossing her forelegs as her wing spread, then refolded. The purple mare had always acted friendly whenever she was with me, play fighting or wrestling at random. It was all in good fun.
She cleared her throat as her eyes locked onto mine again.
"Anyway, the reason I'm here was to invite you to come to Sugarcube Corner with me. I was just on my way there," she explained with a slight smile, her purple mane blowing gently in the breeze. My mind began to work as I mulled over the possible outcomes. Twilight and I were just friends, and frankly I don't know why my mind went directly to the gutter. I was good friends with all the mares in Ponyville to be honest, each treated me the same. I chuckled and reached for my coat, just inside my door hanging on the coat rack. It was made of medium weight and was perfect for this season. The coat itself was black with blue accents, making for quite the sharp appearance.
As I reappeared in front of the door, Twilight stiffened slightly and gave my figure a look over before flashing me a playful wink. She turned and began to trot down the cobblestone sidewalk, stopping after a while to wait for me, as I closed and locked the front door. The wind was bitter and swift, blowing my long brown hair into my eyes, making me have to push the bangs out of my eyes. I jogged after Twilight as she giggled, still waiting for me. I couldn't help but wear a smile. Ponyville was truly beautiful this time of year. The trees were losing their leaves, coating the dirt roads of the little town with a blanket of color. The picture that lay before my eyes made me gasp under my breath, and stop short.
With my hands in my pockets, I slowly cast my gaze around downtown Ponyville. Ponies were bustling about, chatting and laughing all around. The wind was still chilly and bitter, nipping at my rosy tinted cheeks. My eyes settled on Twilight in front of me, whose big, purple eyes were gazing affectionately back at me, wondering if I was going to follow her.
I laughed to myself for a split second before closing my eyes and smiling.
Oh, sweet memories... I said to myself. It looks just like that time... so many years ago.
I opened my eyes to see Twilight in front of me, with a slightly worried and confused look in her beautiful eyes.
She rested her left hoof on my shoulder as I squatted down to meet her gaze. She immediately saw the starry look in them and smiled.
"It looks like that moment back on Earth... doesn't it Jackson?"
I bit my bottom lip at that comment. She knew of what I thought.
Back on Earth, I was madly in love with a woman named Lily. We met when were 18, started off as friends, and gradually grew into something beautiful. There wasn't a moment that went by that I didn't think about her. We knew each other for 3 years, until that day. It was September, autumn was setting in, and she was at work, on the long shift. She had called me that she was on her way home after a 13 hour day and was wanting to cuddle.
She....never made it home. The driver behind her was drunk and ended up rear ending her and sending her car off a cliff, and into the ocean. Naturally, I was wondering why she wasn't home, until the police came to my door and told me the grave news. I had never felt so much pain in my life. I couldn't leave my house for two days. I couldn't eat, sleep must less hold a job.
Her funeral was the most crippling part. I gave her eulogy in its entirety, through oceans of tears, even kissing her coffin goodbye.
After that, I hadn't felt the same since that day. I suppose I was suffering from a broken heart. But it was the months that followed, my departure from Earth and my arrival into Equestria that were the hardest. I was still suffering from depression and a broken heart when I arrived. Twilight was the first to notice, and took me in for the first few months to help me cope. I relied on her heavily, even crying on her shoulder some nights.
The only thing that I had to remind myself of Lily was a silver pendant necklace she had given me for my birthday, some years ago. To this day, I always wear it. It reminds me of her and her last words to me. I play one song on my guitar every time my mind wanders to her. It was her favorite song, one of bittersweet melody and dark undertones.
The title was simply "When Will You Breathe".
The last words she ever said to me ring in my head to this very day.
"Love is a funny thing. You can't find true love because it doesn't exist. It only exists in lovers who give each other their hearts."
They echo with a resonance that, in the back of my head, made my who I am today. It's very bittersweet to think of the memories I have on Earth.
A gentle hoof on my cheek snapped me out of my day dream, to see that it was Twilight, sympathetically holding her right foreleg to my face, then pulling me in for a hug. I returned it reluctantly, feeling a full pain cruise through my chest. It wasn't from my chest, but from my heart. It ached to see her again, even though I knew I couldn't.
I broke our hug and placed a ginger hand on the necklace that hung around my neck. It's resonance shimmered in the dull, autumn light, filling Twilight's eyes with twinkling stars.
The thought of moving on and loving again had always been in the back of my mind, yet I had never acting on the latter half of that thought. I had moved from the grief and pain of losing her, but I couldn't bring myself to offer my heart, as scarred and battered as it was, to someone new, let alone of a new species and world.
"She would have wanted the best for you, Jackson," Twilight's motherly voice rang as it broke the silence. She turned and positioned herself at my side, beckoning me to walk with her to Sugarcube Corner. It was always taxing on both of us to think on this heavy subject. Princess Celestia & Luna knew of my situation all too well. Luna had been the second and only other pony I had told until Twilight put an intervention on me, a year and a half ago.
I let out a heavy sigh, and straightened myself to my full height, opening my eyes to see the same scene, nothing had changed. It was still as I remembered it back on Earth, so many year ago. The scene that was before me was eerily similar to that moment back on Earth. I suppose that's why I felt like this for the time being.
"Thank you Twilight," I said in a hushed voice as we continued to walk, slowly, to Sugarcube Corner. She didn't respond as we arrived, me opening the door for her. Rather, she simply gave the most loving and understanding look I ever saw. Her mane blew slightly more than before, it bouncing on her head, covering her right eye and blowing across her sleek back. She was definitely beautiful for a pony. Whenever their manes blew, it reminded me of something out of an anime show back on Earth.
I cracked a smile as we entered the sweet smelling building together, a plethora of sweet scents meeting our noses. Pinkie Pie was being herself, literally bouncing around the joint serving ponies their treats. The purple mare at my side poked me in my side, motioning towards a table in the corner, the same one Minuette and I had shared last week.
As we took our seats, I glanced out the window and smiled at the scenery. Pegasi, unicorns and Earth ponies were bustling around, some throwing high hooves and waves at each other. The vendors were going about the day, offering passerby's snacks and trinkets.
Sweet memories... I mused as I scanned the small town's hillside. Celestia's sun was beginning to peek over the distant hills, throwing rays of light every angle. It was amazing to witness, I could only imagine what it would be like to witness Celestia herself raise the sun, or Luna raise the moon. My train of thought was derailed by Pinkie Pie's materialization beside our table, her blue eyes wide with excitement.
"What'll it be today, guys?" she said with a wide grin. Twilight bopped her long time friend on the muzzle playfully for startling her, then shared a good laugh as she ordered a cup of coffee. I ordered my usual coffee, and sat back in my chair as Pinkie bounced off to the kitchen.
Twilight's eyes met mine for a brief second. We didn't say anything, but our thoughts were louder than words. I offered a meek smile in return to her gentle hoof on my shoulder.
I looked out the window again as the sun continued to rise further and further into the sky.
Another day, to change the past days, not of nightmares, but to memories. Sweet memories that will stay with us forever.