Canterlot Nights, and other tales.

by Phoenix Quill

Pinkie Pie's Final Exam (Ran Com SoL)

Frustrated with the lack of excitement in a book that involves both princesses, you decide to forgo reading any more, at least for now.

You get up and carefully scan the shelves for several moments before coming across a bright pink book. Curious, you decide to go on ahead and open it. The writing inside is surprisingly neat and clean, but you can tell by the way that the writer looped their y's, that the mouth writing is forged by a unicorn. This is clearly another one of Phoenix's pieces of rejected fan fiction.

With a shrug, you go ahead and have a seat, raise the fire in the oil lamp, and begin to read.

"Ponyville University, Ponyville U. Good ol' P.U." Even with the small joke, Pinkie Pie looked up at the building before her with trepidation. Ponyville U seemed to stare back, but why shouldn't it? She had only been a student here for the last four years, and had learned it's many halls, rooms and students just as well as she knew every room, rock, and pony back at the rock farm.

Usually, Pinkie Pie was the life of the school, always either hosting, or showing up to a party. If anypony were asked, they would all say that Pinkie was the party pony of the campus.

What they didn't know, was that her partying was serious research. For the past four years she may have partied a lot, but it was for purpose. In fact, if you were to ask her teachers, they would all say something great. "Oh, she'll be a great social commentator," or, "She has the makings of a wonderful psychologist," and strangest, yet probably most accurate of all, "She's very ambitious, I would fear the day that she got a lot of power."

There was much to be said about the strange young mare from the middle of nowhere, how her life was changed by an urge to party, and how rock farming just wouldn't cut it for her. How she dreamed of becoming more than she was, and wished to become the premier party pony. But first, she needed to learn a few tricks.

"Okay Pinkie, you got this," she said with a confident smile. Her white lab coat and flat pink hair fluttered with the breeze as she stepped forward and placed her reading glasses on the end of her muzzle. "All I gotta do is go in there, and use everything I learned in the past four years to pass my final test. How hard can it be?"

A sudden crack of thunder rolled over head as a pegasus turned positions in her cloud nap, leaving Pinkie's smile slightly deflated. "Yes, I guess it could be better."

"DUN DA DUNNNNN, dramatic moment music..."

Pinkie quickly turned around and spotted the stallion hiding in the bushes behind her. "Hey! Quit following me!" The stallion gave a sheepish grin before dashing off, leaving Pinkie to contemplate her fate once again. "Yeah, I think I got this."

Pinkie entered the classroom to find that it was empty. No surprises so far, she thought to herself. Maybe this won't be so bad.

Suddenly a boisterous voice boomed across the class, catching the mare's attention. "Pinkamina! You're early! How can you stand to be early today?"

"Oh you know me Professor Sunshine," she said with a grin. "Coffee is a mare's best friend."

"Hmm maybe," he said with a smile. "But if you keep burning that candle of yours at both ends, you're gonna go out faster than you think."

Pinkie just smiled slightly as Sunshine laughed in his usual loud manner. After a few moments though, as he was still wheezing to a halt, her smile had already dropped. "So, when should the exam begin?"

"Hm?" The professor looked up at the clock as he wiped a tear from his eye. "Well, we should probably wait for the other students to come in first, but have a seat for now."

Pinkie nodded and sat down in one of the seats that rose up in a semi circle around the desk in front. She looked up at the clock, and noted that the time for the test should have begun already, but the paper has yet to be passed out. "Professor," she said with a wave of her hoof. "Isn't it time to begin?"

"Oh? Is it really?" He smiled a bit as he looked up at the clock. "I don't seem to think so."

Pinkie looked at the clock, and sure enough it had moved back almost a half hour. "Oh, I just thought that,"

"Thought what? That you were alone for this test?" He smiled once again. "You can't forget about your classmates, they deserve a chance to pass as well."

"Uh, right, sir." She then looked down at the small writing desk beside her with a bored stare. She wasn't sure why, but it had become habitual for her lately to do this. It probably had something to do with all the little notes left on it's wooden surface over the years.

She looked out the window to her left, and noticed that the sun was setting. At first, she payed it no mind, until she realized that she had yet to take the test. "Sir! It's getting late, surely I could take my test now!"

"Could you really?" Sunshine said with a frown before pointing at the clock. "It hasn't even been five minutes, can't you be more patient?"

Sure enough, hardly any time had moved on the clock at all, and the sun was still hanging brightly in the sky, and heading further west by the second. For a moment, she wondered where the sun would go, and why it was doing this. Then it dawned on her.

The sun came to a halt, and marched eastward once again. Professor Sunshine looked up and saw Pinkie was still at her desk with a bored look on her face, and grinned. He turned around to grab something from a drawer, when Pinkie popped out of it. "Hi!"

Surprised, he jumped back and placed a hoof on his chest. A small whinny escaped from his throat before laughter followed. "AH! Now that's the spirit girl!"

Pinkie just laughed before grabbing him and pulling him into the drawers. They tumbled for a while in a void before falling out in the library. She then lead the way to a book case and pulled out a book called, World of the Yahoos and opened it up. Within an instant of opening the pages a rather tall and fat Yahoo came out of the pages and blinked with some stupidity before spotting the two ponies and saying, "Oh my god I'm in Equestria!"

"Hi I'm Pinkie, that there's Professor Sunshine!"

The professor waved politely and gave a short hello to the Yahoo. The Yahoo scratched itself on it's torso and continued to stare at the two of them. "Uh, so... Uh, you guys like food or anything? I think I've got some sugar cubes on me."

"Eh, no thanks," Pinkie said with a shake of her head. "You're just here for my test, but now you gotta go back home!"

"Wha, NO WAIT!" But it was too late, as the book slammed shut over the Yahoo, and he went back to where he belonged. The professor clopped his hooves in approval as Pinkie galloped around a corner, and Sunshine followed. When they rounded the bin, they were suddenly in the quad, and it was late in the evening.

Pinkie used the angles around her to sneak past everypony that was milling around, unseen the entire way. Finally, she reached the center of it all, and pulled a cooler out of nowhere and a megaphone from another place in nowhere, and shouted into it, "Free drinks!"

There was, of course a stampede of frat stallions and sorority mares. Ever thirsty for as much hard cider as there stomachs can hold.

But she wouldn't stay for long, as she dodged around a tree, the two of them were suddenly back in the classroom. Pinkie was back at her seat, and Professor sunshine was in front of the class. The two of them looked up at the clock, it had only been five seconds.

"Well done," Sunshine said with a grin. "But why five seconds after we left?"

Pinkie looked at the clock and shrugged. "I don't know, I didn't want to run into ourselves."

"Well you didn't have to worry about that silly," Pinkie said with a pat on her back.

"Yeah," Pinkie said with a smile. "We usually do it all the time!"

There was a mild chorus of agreement from the small bundle of Pinkie Pie's before they all went off to when they belong, leaving Sunshine in a fit of giggles.

Finally, the air cleared of his laughter, and he wiped the tears from his eyes and cleared his throat. "Pinkamina Diane Pie, that will be all."

A month later it was graduation day for good ol' P.U. and Pinkie Pie was next. "And now, it is with an extreme honor, that I am able to present this diploma, to Miss Pinkamina Pie, for being the only pony in our history, to receive this Masters in Science in Advanced Physics Manipulation Magic.

Pinkie walked tall as she took the scroll of paper from the headmaster, and looked out to the crowd with hope.

Her mother was not there, nor was her father. The only one that did show up, was Maude. And though it was hard to see, Pinkie was sure she was smiling, and that was all that really mattered to her.