You know that Earth Pony filly, Apple Bloom right? The Cutie Mark Crusader? Of course you do, well I saw her trying to get her cutie mark by herself with the help of a few of our Mane cast, and I was thinking, gee where are her friends? Then I realized I was dumb and that was the episode where they meet each other (even though they hide together from Nightmare Moon). It was hilarious watching her failing epicly but now that the CMC have formed, it’s gonna be three times the FAIL!
HAHA! THE FAIL HAS BEEN TRIPLED!!
But then I realized I wasn’t looking forward to it when Scootaloo crashed through my window after failing a trick, and then Apple Bloom nagged me to get more Apples from Applejack when I was getting my weekly apples from her. Sweetie Belle is absolutely adorable! Her voice just makes you want to “D’awwwwww”. Who knows what this trio of rascals will be like when they’re teens, only time will tell.
Moving on, The Iron Pony competition was yesterday with Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Of course Firefly, Cloud Kicker and I were giving our support for Dashie, whom of course was cheating with her wings.
I mean seriously, what this whole BS about Unicorns not being to use their horns in competitions and Pegasi not using their wings but Earth Ponies are allowed their Strength abilities? That’s Motherbucking horseapples! Applejack is complaining about Dash using her wings but she’s allowed to use her Earth Pony strength? Hypocrite!
But I digress; the show is going along nicely, except for the fact that Cloud Kicker and Firefly challenged each other and myself to the Running of the Leaves, whoever comes last of us will have to do something embarrassing for an entire week, we also put thirty bits in total, second place gets their money back and first place wins 20 bits.
So naturally, I was in training with a huge amount of training montages popping in my head…
So it was the day of the race, the day I had trained for! I realized something as I headed to the start line…I didn’t watch the training montage at all, so I didn’t train at all!
Oh well, I’ll still leave CK in the dust and Rainbow Dash and Applejack as they’ll be too bust fighting each other so much that they’ll be dead last and Twilight comes fifth. In fact I see the pair of them laughing at her for entering this race, they are gonna get theirs but I gotta make sure my two rivals (and friends) get theirs too because I ain’t here to lose!
“Ready to lose, Bolty?” CK landed next to me.
“Not on you life, Kicker, I don’t lose!” I stood my ground as my wings popped out ready to race.
“You two are waaaaay to confident! We all know I’m going to win this by a long shot” Firefly said smugly
“What makes you think you’ll win Firefly?” I asked the confident Firefly
“Simple, you two will be to busy foaling around trying to sabotage each other while I take the win!” Firefly explained how she’ll win.
“Whatever you say Firefly, but let’s save the bragging until after we cross the finish line” CK said.
“Fair enough” I agreed
So we had all been given our numbers to put on top of our cutie marks, Cloud Kicker had been given Number 5, I had been given number 69 (HEY! MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!!), and Firefly had been given number 34. Was the Princess bucking with us?
So, I was put to the right of Rainbow Dash and Applejack and Twilight were on her left, Firefly was on my right along with Cloud Kicker.
“ON YOUR MARKS!” Pinkie shouted in the Megaphone from the hot air balloon
“GET SET!” Spike also shouted in the Megaphone
“GO!” The pair shouted at the same time.
And we’re off! Right now it’s neck and neck with the three of us as Applejack and Rainbow Dash sped to the front at once while Twilight hanged back. Her strategy was to hang back until the end and then rush past all the tired ponies. But with me, there ain’t no slowing down because I ain't getting embarrassed for a week.
About 5 minutes in, Applejack tripped on the rock as we all passed her but she caught up quickly and then Rainbow Dash tripped thinking it was Applejack, so she decided to play dirty. Let the Chaos ensue!
But back to me, Cloud Kicker was behind me and I was behind Firefly by about 5 Pony lengths.
“Yo Bolty, having fun staring at her flanks?” CK asked from behind
“Sounds like you’re having fun back there yourself” I replied
“Not as much as you” CK shot back
“Yeah well, We’ll see about th-WOAH!” I said back as I tripped over a stump
Everypony passed me except Twilight, stupid stump! Why is it even there! I quickly look around to see a rather bendy branch and taking a leaf from Applejack’s book, I used to fling back right past Cloud Kicker! How does that work? Cartoon Physics! That's how!
“EAT MY DUST KICKER!” I shouted as I flew right past her
“Get back here!” Kicker yelled as she accelerated a bit more.
“NO WAY HOZAY!” I yelled as I zoomed past Rainbow Dash
My lead was short lived as Cloud Kicker and Firefly caught up 2 minutes later and of course Rainbow Dash and Applejack were on a full-out war with each other which almost knocked me out.
“Thought you could win that easily?” CK said to me as we went neck and neck
“The thought had crossed my mind at least once” I replied as the finish line came into sight
“Last one there is a rotten EGG!” CK challenged me as she and I went into full-sprint
“You’re ON!” I sped up
As fast as we went, none of us could get the lead on each other and we tried our best as the line came over and I didn’t know which of us won as I had my eyes closed at the strain of running.
“Which of us won that?” CK asked
1st: Derpy Hooves
2nd: Cloud Chaser
3rd: Golden Harvest
4th: Firefly
5th: Twilight Sparkle
“Firefly beat us?” I said in shock
"Derpy Hooves won?!" CK was more shocked about that fact.
“Then what did we come?” I asked
10th: Lightning Bolt and Cloud Kicker
“Well you tied” Firefly announced
“Well….” I started
“And since you tied for last in the bet, both of you got to do embarrassing things for a week” Firefly started laughing evilly at those words
“Well at least we didn’t come last in the actual race” I mentioned a bright side to Kicker
“But who did come last?” CK asked.
DEAD LAST: Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
Ironic how the best two ponies to win come dead last, isn’t it? But then again, NEVER BET ON HORSE RACES! They always end up bad and both Cloud Kicker and I learned that lesson today. Mark our words, it’ll be Firefly’s turn soon…oh so soon…