//------------------------------// // Chapter III // Story: The Shameless First Person Self-Insert // by sbloom85 //------------------------------// So I met Princess Cadance. God was she beautiful. More so than she was portrayed in the show. I kissed her hoof too. What the hell was I thinking? I wonder if she told her husband about that? If she did, was he pissed, or did he get weirded out? I'll find out when I take the trip to the empire. Then I met Discord. I have a feeling he's going to be a thorn in my side during my stay. At least I knew that he brought me here, supposedly by accident. I wouldn't put it past him to have done just for shits and giggles, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for now. After that, I went inside their gym and started pounding away at a punching bag. A while after that, a seasoned guard came up to me and offered to have me spar with a recruit to train against a certain biped race that live on this world. I should've just walked away and stirred in my juices, but I took him up on it. I was so pissed at Discord that my judgment was clouded, and suffice to say, I got my ass handed to me by the rookie. He was a pegasus named Crimson Blade. It was about two weeks since then and I've been allowed to explore more of the castle and even go into the hedge maze if I wanted time alone. It was a big step for me and hopefully it won't be too much longer before I'm able to leave the castle grounds. The guards were beginning to relax more around me as the days went by, and so were the servants. I was able to help them on occasion, and I think one of them, a cute unicorn mare with a coat that reminded me of coffee with too much milk in it; a mane and tail that were light red that she always left down; deep green eyes and a cutie mark of a rose without its stem. I think her name was Rose Petal or something like that. She asked me to help her water some flowers in her area, while I did, I could've sworn I saw her checking me out. It was odd, but it was flattering if that was the case. Today, I'm out in the garden with Rose, for some reason she keeps requesting my company and I had a feeling I knew what reason it was. She took care of trimming the plants while I watered them. I looked to her and smiled. “So... how was your night?” She smiled. “It went very well. I tried that recipe you suggested and it came out delicious. Thank you.” I gave the mare a recipe for a vegetarian lasagna our first day working together to kind of break the ice. I nodded. “I'm glad to hear that.” We made it to the usual place and I filled up the watering can. She pulled out her pruning shears and began trimming. The thoughts of asking her a really simple question seemed daunting to me, but I had to do it if I wanted to find out for sure. “Hey, Rose?” She turned her gaze to me and stopped trimming. “I don't want to sound rude or anything, but why do you keep requesting my help? You're a unicorn after all.” She quickly shot me a dirty look. “If you don't want to help-” I waved my arms. “It's not that. I enjoy helping you, it's just- do you have a crush on me or something?” Her face softened and she dug at the ground a bit. She was very nervous. “Maybe. Is that okay?” I nodded. “I'm fine with that. I was curious, that's all.” I walked beside her and she resumed trimming. “What about you? I've had a feeling you weren't interested even though-” I chuckled. “Honestly? I'm not sure what to make of it. My whole life I've known no other being than my own kind. Imagine your whole life only seeing ponies; no dragons, no griffons... nothing else but pony. Then you suddenly meet something else.” She nodded. “I see where you're coming from. I think I'd feel the same.” I gently poured some water on the trimmed bush and moved as she continued down the line. “If you'd like, we could give it a shot. As far as I'm aware, I'll be here for a while. Maybe you could come with me to the crystal fair in a couple of months.” She winced and took off a little more off the bush than she should have. “Oh, darn it!” She sighed. “It's nice of you to invite me, but I don't think I'll be able to make it.” I shook my head. “Rose, I'm friends with Celestia, remember? If it's work related, I'm sure I can convince her to work something out. Besides, I think you could use some time off.” I had to admit, I wasn't too keen on the idea of dating a pony, but I felt like I had to do something or else I'd go insane. There was something about her being near me. I hung around other mares in the castle doing something, sure, but being with her? Nah. I'm probably just imagining things. There's no way I could fall in love with a pony. Right? We spent the next twenty minutes or so on the hedges. We didn't speak to each other much and generally just enjoyed each others company. We finished up this section and took a break. I walked to a nearby well, lowered the bucket, filled it, pulled it up and filled a cup with the cold liquid. “Thirsty?” I extended my arm and she took the cup with her magic. She took a swig, gulped it down and shuddered. “Thanks, Scotty.” I nodded and sat next to her. “Is the water cold today?” I pressed the cup against my lips, took a drink and I shuddered as well. “Yep! The water is cold today!” We probably sat there for about fifteen minutes, chatting about one thing or another before we got up. “Should we continue?” She asked. I nodded, took her cup, put them in my bag and slung it over my shoulder. I picked up the watering can and refilled it. “After you.” She smiled and started trotting and I followed right behind her. I hadn't noticed before, but the way her hips swayed was hypnotic. I shook my head to try to clear my head. I can't believe I was staring at her ass. I decided to stand at her side for the rest of our trek, I didn't need an unexpected guest hanging around. The rest of the morning went by as normal and we decided to hit up the mess hall for lunch. We each got different mixed fruit bowls and sat down at a table. The rookie I sparred with walked by our table. “Hey, Scott! After lunch, do you want to spar again? It's been a couple of weeks.” I put a strawberry in my mouth, chewed and nodded. I swallowed the bits of strawberry before opening my mouth again. “Sure, Blade.” He chuckled, patted me on the back and continued. I looked back to Rose who was giving me a glare. “What?” She huffed. “You know quite well 'what'.” I threw another fruit in my mouth, shrugged, chewed it up and swallowed it. “Relax, Rose. It's not like we're out to hurt each other.” That didn't reassure her though. “Trust me.” Listen to me. It sounds like I've known this mare for a long time and I'm telling her to trust me? What is wrong with me? Rose and I parted ways after lunch, but I'm sure I'll run into her again before the day was over. I started down the hallway to the gym. Guess who decided to join me? If you guessed Crimson Blade, you're wrong. “Mister Bloom!” I turned and saw Princess Luna trotting up to me. “We are glad to have found you.” I raised an eyebrow as I continued. “Pleasure to meet you too, Princess Luna. Call me Scott.” She frowned and her ears fell back. “Forgive Us, Scott. We were... apprehensive about you at first, but We are glad to hear that you are a noble creature.” Noble, my ass. If only she knew what kind of species we were. I wasn't sure if she was still nervous or if she's trying to keep up appearances. I gave her a small smirk. “You can relax, Your Majesty. I won't bite.” She nodded and perked back up. “You may call me 'Luna', Scott, just as you call my sister 'Celestia'.” I shook my head. “She sent you to see me, didn't she?” She nodded. “Indeed she has. I have heard that you sparred with Crimson Blade and were beaten.” I let out an affirming grunt. “Are you going to face him again?” I nodded. “What makes you think you won't lose again?” I rolled my eyes. “Whatever happens will happen. I wasn't exactly focused on the match last time. A certain Draconequus made me angry. Not this time.” We made it to the gym and entered. I didn't notice last time, but this place was huge. We saw several guards practicing on dummies; some unicorns were sparring with wooden sticks; some pegasi were sparring hoof-to-hoof in the air. I turned to Luna and smiled. “Are you sure you want to see this? It might get ugly.” She only nodded. “Alright...” I walked toward Blade and shook his hoof. “You ready for another beatdown?” We took our sides in the ring. I looked toward Luna, who was watching intently. I looked back to Blade and we walked up to each other. A unicorn guard came up to us and put a MacGyvered pair of padded gloves on my hands before putting some on Blade. After he finished, he left the ring. Right now, the eyes of every unicorn, pegasus and winged unicorn were on us. I took up my boxer stance, chin down, eyes forward and fists in front of my face. Ding! I moved back a little to give me some time to study the hovering pegasus. Okay, Blade... what are you going to do? He moved backward and we began circling the ring. He flapped his wings a couple of times faster than normal. Was he going to charge? Yep, he's charging. Luckily for me I took note that pegasi tend to charge with one leg forward. He charged with his right leg, so I parried to his left side. I threw a punch at his barrel and it connected to where the foreleg met it. He let out a loud groan, slowed down and spun around. I was already facing him, contemplating my next move. If I wanted any kind of advantage in this fight, I had to take out one of those wings, I just needed to be careful about it. He flew up. He was going to try to dive bomb me. If this was a real fight, I'd sock him in the face as he came down. I'd probably break my arm doing so, but he'd be unconscious. He dove, faster than I expected and stepped out of the way at the last second. “Whoa!” He yelled as he tumbled on the ground. He landed on his back in a daze and his wings were splayed. I took the opportunity and mounted him, pinning his wings beneath me. The sudden pressure on them snapped him back and he flailed his legs. I took his left foreleg in my left hand, pinned it against the floor and quickly pressed my head against his to avoid wild strikes. I slipped my right arm underneath his and cupped the hand on my forearm. Before I could complete the key lock, a unicorn pulled us apart. “Alright! That's enough!” The unicorn set us down and I could see the fear in Blade's eyes as he flapped his wings. They were going to be sore in the morning. He folded them against his body, walked up to me and extended his right leg. “Congratulations, Scott.” I shook his hoof. “I was wrong to underestimate you. I have a long way to go before I can take on minotaurs.” I nodded, he turned and walked away. I turned and saw Luna approaching me. “Well done, Scott. We admire your approach and technique.” I shrugged. “It could've been better, it could've been worse.” I looked back and saw that Blade was being taken care of. Some bandages being wrapped around his body to prevent him from injuring his wings further. I looked back to Luna and sighed. “I hope I didn't hurt him.” I walked forward to her side, leaving the gym. She followed me and wrapped a wing around me. “I'm sure he'll be fine. You saw an opportunity and seized it.” We both looked forward and I barely saw Rose at the end. We looked back to each other and she smiled. “There's another opportunity. I suggest you take it while you're here.” She removed her wing and proceeded down the hall. I looked back to the end of the hall and Rose was coming this way. Opportunity? I wonder if she means me and Rose? That's crazy, she wouldn't suggest that, would she? Rose did admit she had a crush on me. Maybe I should take that opportunity. My focus returned to her and she galloped up to me. She looked concerned about me. “Scotty? Are you okay? Crimson Blade didn't beat you again, did he?” I shook my head and smiled. “No. I managed to beat him this time and I have you to thank for that.” That statement confused her. “What do you mean?” I knelt and placed my hand on her shoulder. “Last time I sparred with him I was too angry with Discord to focus. Being with you made that go away.” Jesus! Did I really just say that? A smile crept onto her face and tears formed in her eyes. “I'm happy to hear that.” She tapped me on the stomach with a hoof. “Now don't you go fighting him again.” I chuckled and shook my head. “No promises, Rose. In the meantime, I gotta clean up.” I stood and she nodded. “Right. I have a few more things to take care of, then I'll be done for the day. I'll see you later.” I returned to my quarters and walked to the bathroom. I pulled the curtain back and started the water. Once it was at the perfect temperature, I inserted the drain plug and returned to the mirror. “Look at you. You're falling in love with a pony. A creature from a cartoon world. After the things you've done here, can you go back to that world?” I laughed at my own question. “Maybe, maybe not. It won't matter if Discord can't send me back. My family probably thinks I'm dead in the woods somewhere. Killed by a wolf or something.” I sighed and looked at the tub. I slipped out of my clothes and slid into it and once the water reached the right depth, I shut off the valves. I am so glad that Celestia put me in a room with a tub this big. I was afraid that I'd be stuck with a dinky little thing that I could barely squeeze my ass in. This one though, I was able to slide my entire body length in the water and still have room, and that's what I did. I slid deeper in the water and closed my eyes, letting whatever troubles my mind is having float right out... everything but one issue. What if Discord does find a way for me to go home? I didn't want to hurt Rose's feelings and I didn't want to take her with me, that's for sure. Even if she were turned into a human during the trip, I didn't want to subject her to the terrible things we do there. “God... damn it!”