Twilight checks off the last item on her check list. She looks around at all the items on the checkered picnic blanket on the hill next to the owl tree where her and her friends would be able to get a spectacular view of the fireworks tonight. She already got the confirmation that Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbowdash, and Pinkie will be there. Applejack hasn't said a thing yet.
She said the Apple family has a different way of celebrating so its no wonder she is unsure on whether or not she'll be going. Twilight, to everyone's surprise, she knows a thing or two about family traditions.
"And the fruit punch. That is everything." She looks off towards her tree home and wonders how Spike is doing.
The thought quickly leaves her head as bitter ones peek. She'd rather not deal with those types of thoughts before everything was to start. It would be easier on herself and everyone else. She even made that clear to Spike this morning by telling him they probably should hold off being together for a while. It wasn't like she had a grudge or was mad at Spike. But she wanted to make sure that Spike understands that he shouldn't invade a woman's secret no matter how dire it may seem.
The first couple of days were spent with avoiding Spike to where she started sleeping over at Fluttershy's cottage. In her mind she keeps going over how this is the logical way to go over this. Spike will miss her and she already misses Spike a bunch already. Sometimes at night she can feel the warmth of Spike from all the times they've slept together. Sometimes it would be Fluttershy curdled up beside her and other times it would just be blankets stacked on her.
Fluttershy kept explaining how Twilight shivers at night so much and calls out for Spike that she just wants to make her feel more comfortable. Twilight believes this too. The absence of Spike in her life has left a hole in it. Though it has made her more self reliant and that's something that she is proud of.
Well with the task of setting everything up the last thing she needs to do is check if everyone is still coming. She had sent an invite to more her further away friends and family. She had asked Canance, Luna, Celestia, her mother, her brother, Derpy, Vinyl, Octavia, Coco, on the request by Rarity; and a few other from Canterlot. She wasn't sure about the Alicorn sisters, but she felt sure that the others might come. Even if it is a small chance.
She makes her way back to Ponyville. She takes in her scenery relaxing at the beautiful view. The feel of the breeze rustling her mane, the sweet smell of the food behind her, the fragrance of the flowers, and the almost inaudible bubbling of the near by creak. It's a peaceful time for Twilight. Her body is at peace, yet her mind isn't.
No matter how many times she reminds herself she just can't help but to almost reach out and take a hold of Spike's nonexistent claw. The more she represses the urge to do something the more she wants to just yell out. That's another reason she wanted to do the party. To relax. Get drunk with friends and go home feeling better than before.
She has already considered the consequences, but didn't really care. She has, in fact, planned different scenarios that might happen tonight and almost all of them ended up with her in Spike's arms once again or apologizing and crying like a little foal. Others ended with her fighting with others including Spike.
As she walks forward across the grass that swifts in the breeze to and fro, so does her tears that fall from her eyes. She walks forward blindly her tears blinding her as her thoughts torment her. She lays down and bites her bottom lip ready to scream. Her bottom lip starts to bleed at how hard she's biting it.
She wishes he was with her right now. Why? She doesn't even know herself. Just the thought of him being here soothers her tormented mind just a bit. But the thoughts stay. Pinning her other thoughts to the back of her head.
So she lays there, crying. Trying to recollect herself so she can continue her day. Just like she's been doing. For the last couple of days without anypony knowing. Always where nopony would ever see her. Till today. She wasn't the only pony who thought coming out for a walk was a good idea.
"...Twilight?"
Spike sits against the door of the basement. He has puts himself in there cause he couldn't stand being out there for another minute. He was starting to get over his melancholy, but the depression still gripped him hard. Not only had he possibly ended his relationship but he's also found out more than what he was bargaining for.
Now he wishes to erase it from his mind. But as always, the mind is such a fickle thing. It makes you remember what you don't want and forget what you wish to remember.
He looks around the darkness again imaging Twilight watching him in his wallow of self pity. Her looking at him in disgust. Just like when he's outside of the dark room. He sometimes sees her walking by only glancing towards the library with a certain look of sadness and other times he sees "her" looking at him through the window with absolute disgust and hatred.
The light seems to mock him as much as the dark. He sees Twilight in his mind whether he's awake or asleep. As if ignoring him wasn't enough. His mind was also punishing him for what he's done. Some would debate on who's to blame for all this. Spike always blame himself. Cause it was his actions, the choice to not look for it was there, yet he completely ignored the tugging in his gut in favor of the option.
He knows the hate he feels towards himself is making the Twilights appear when she's not here. It's his mind showing him what his thinks. What he wants to believe. Though the truth is far from it and he knows it. Or at least he thinks he knows it.
He could be wrong like many other times, but that would mean more pain. And that's something he wants to live without for awhile.
Knocking resonates from the door. He perks up and wonders who could be knocking. Everyone knows the library is closed until further notice. So who could.
"Spike. You need to get out here now!" A very familiar southern accented voice calls out from behind the door.
He sits there and considers just ignoring her like he has everyone else so far. Each one of them tried coaxing him out today. First Rarity, than Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Pinkie who left upset. Now here was Applejack coming to drag him out none the less.
"I'm not."
"I'm not going to drag you out nor am I gonna to wait for you to come out. So I want you out of there right now." Applejack says.
Spike sits there wondering why she just wouldn't use force. Either way her tactic works as he slowly rises and turns around to open the door. He opens it to find Applejack sitting just beyond the door. She has a glare on her face that hits Spike hard.
He looks away, "What?"
"You and me need to talk and while we're at it we're going to get food and get some exercise."
Spike grimaces not wanting to do any of those things. He just wants to stay in the darkness of the basement for.... ever? Maybe. He understands that he's been lacking some of his basic needs, but that's part of his punishment against himself. He figures he deserves it anyway.
"Look Applejack... You don't understand I."
"I understand that you keep putting yourself in a pit that you won't get out of or let anyone try to get you out of and I'm not havin none of that!
Spike flinches a bit hearing the truth in those words. He didn't want to admit it, but the pit was starting to get lonely. He doesn't want to be in it forever. Just a while or so. At least till he's convinced he hasn't pushed Twilight away from him.
"What am I suppose to do?" Spike asks not daring to look at the orange mare.
"All you need to do is keep moving on like always. Just because you have one gosh darned fight don't mean its the end of the world Spike. Also I'm taking you to the Apple tradition firework ganza tonight. Since you can't hang out with the others you'll be with me tonight." Applejack says standing up, "Now get out of there and get on with your day. I'll come back in a few and I better not find you in there or any place other than outside and moving around."
Spike nods his head as he walks out. In truth he doesn't want to, but he considers the company might be good for him after all. Or else he might actually have Rainbowdash and Rarity bust down the door and drag him out against his will. They've already threatened they would so.
"Okay Applejack... I'll... I'll see you than." Spike says moving towards the kitchen.
With that Applejack heads out.
Twilight lays on Fluttershy's couch wiping away the tears. She had never expected to be seen, but she was glad it was Fluttershy who had saw her. Fluttershy always was the comfort pony in their group. Always ready to help ease the trouble away.
Twilight sits up feeling a little bit better. Fluttershy walks in with a plate of tea and biscuits upon it. She places it down on the table in front of the couch before giving Twilight another hug.
"You feeling better?" She asks keeping her voice soft and caring.
"Ye...Yes..." Twilight says sighing, "I'm really sorry about this Fluttershy... I must really be a handful..."
"Not at all Twilight!" Fluttershy says taken aback, "In fact I would say the animals give me more trouble than you!"
Fluttershy nuzzles Twilgiht, "You need to stay calm Twilight."
"Thanks Fluttershy... Can I ask you something?
"Sure."
"Can you go check with the girls to see if they can come."
"Of course Twilight. You rest up now. I'll be back soon."
Twilight nods her head and lays on the couch again not feeling the energy to do much of anything else.
"Thank you Fluttershy."
Fluttershy nods her head a giant smile upon her muzzle as she head out.
***
The day goes by fast. Eventually Twilight finds herself surrounded by friends and family with Fluttershy by her side. The drinks get passed and fun times ensue. The night goes by like a blur. She can hardly remember what had ensued that night. She awakens with Fluttershy beside her in bed her forelegs wrapped around her chest and a major headache.
Thoughts invade into Twilight's mind of what might have happened, but they soon fleet away realizing it wasn't her that made the decisions. It was a drunk her. A Twilight that didn't know what she was doing.
On the other end Spike too had a fun night. The Apple family went far out into the fields where they gathered around a fire, sung songs, cooked marshmallows, and had good old wholesome fun. Spike completely forgot about the depression he was in during the night. But come morning the thoughts start to settle against him again. He awakens in the bedroom of the guest quarters realizing he, in fact, spent the whole event without Twilight. It made him feel sour inside, but at the same time he could bring himself to maul over the it.
Applejack's words from last night start to sink in as well causing confusion deep within him. He than starts to wonder what it really means to be an adult. He remembers many of the dragons on how mature he'll need to be and how mature he's acting right now, but reflecting on it. He still sees himself as a child that knows nothing.
He looks down at his claws and asks himself, "Am I ready for all this?"