And so the lone three headed boar of solomon rushed through the fortified gates of the cavalry's last fortress. The guards scattered like milk in a cereal bowl as the boar ripped through their ranks with ease. Bones cracked, armor crunched with ease under the massive pressure that the boars heads produced and blood was all that the guards saw.
Spears, crossbows, swords, knives, and the toilet bowl were all used as weapons, but none could slow this demon down. Ten soldiers fell, the twenty, thirty, fifty, soon there was only one stallion left to face off against his worst nightmare. He promptly fled to his mommy and vacated his bowels like a wuss!
While he ran, the boar began feasting on the remains of his fallen foes, each head taking in a mouthful of guts and-
"Do you REALLY have to tell me this stupid story while we're eating!?" Blueblood hissed, interrupting Twilight's epic tale before she could even come close to finishing it. "You're lucky auntie is such a nice pony, or we would've shipped you off to the griffons a long time ago."
Twilight took on a mock look of hurt, as Blueblood continued to pick at his salad. "Oh dear Celestia no! I've ruined Bluebutt's lunch!?" Twilight wailed in false misery, as she threw herself on the floor in an overdone display of grief. "How will I ever live with myself!? I am truly a monster among ponies."
"Shut up, you idiot! At least I'm not the one fainting over a substitute teacher." Blueblood snickered, taking before taking another mouthful of his fruit and spinach salad.
"She's a monster. You would understand if you knew her the way I do." Twilight replied, pulling herself back into her over-sized seat. "She's a soul stealing, life taking witch who wants to hang our bodies over her fire place."
Blueblood gave off a snort of annoyance, as he looked up at the mess of a filly who was digging into her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "She is the second most beautiful pony I've ever seen in my entire life. She's sweet, generous and smart. Unlike someone I know!"
"Your mom is smart! Haha! I win, you lose!" Twilight exclaimed, blowing the annoyed Blueblood a raspberry, as is tradition when a pony wishes to claim victory over another. Ah yes, another victory for the Sparkle family.
"Auuuuuuntttiiiiieeeeee! Twilight said that my mom was smart!"
"Twilight, quit calling his mother smart!"
"Tattle tell!"
"Disgusting pig!"
"Fat head!"
"You're a fat head!"
"I'll kill you!"
"Quick! Someone assemble the guard!"