The next thing I needed were clothes and a local tailor was summoned the day after my arrival to make me some. I'm sure glad it wasn't Rarity who was brought in, that would've taken forever. It was awkward to say the least when she wanted me to strip down completely. I told her about our people having a nudity taboo that's been ingrained in our minds for thousands of years. She took it better than I thought and I was able to at least keep my underwear on. She took my measurements, went back to her shop and I started receiving new clothing a week later. I looked pretty snazzy now that I had some new threads.
A month had passed since my arrival. As it turned out, I wasn't carrying anything that could've gotten them sick. Maybe the wormhole or whatever it was that brought me here cleansed me of that, but that's only a guess. My epilepsy was being treated by a unicorn physician, one quick spell and I would be seizure free for two weeks. Since I've been off of the medicine, my body had improved. Although I was confined to a small area of the castle, I was still able to get out of my quarters from time to time while being escorted by some guards. I didn't like it, but I had no say in the matter. Eventually, they grew on me... figuratively speaking, of course.
I had a few of Celestia's guards to interact with in the morning, and some of Luna's at night. Other than them, I had almost no company. Celestia was always busy with something until it was time for her to go to bed; Luna was the same, despite the general headcanon suggesting she didn't do much after raising the moon. I had only been here a month and I felt that it was still too early to bother them.
Right now I was in my room, on my third rep of crunches when I heard a knock on the door. “Come in!”
The door opened and on the other side was Princess Celestia. “Good morning, Scott.”
I sat up and turned to face her. “Morning, stranger.” I smiled up at my gracious host. “What can I do for you?”
She smiled warmly at me. “I was actually hoping I could do something for you.”
I slowly stood up. Was she serious? I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask. “I don't suppose I could get out of the castle, could I?” She raised a confused eyebrow. “I've been-”
She nodded. “Of course, Scott.” She waved a hoof. “Please, follow me.”
We exited the castle and two of her guards followed until we reached the entrance to what looked like a hedge maze, then she looked to them. “Leave us be.”
The guards nodded and positioned themselves on either side of the entrance. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
We entered the maze and after a few moments, she looked to me with an inquisitive look in her eye. “So... are you fitting in alright?”
I stifled a laugh. “Not really, Celestia. The servants all still seem to fear me, which I understand completely and the guards intimidate me. I know it's part of the job description, but...”
She gave and understanding nod. “You seem like a tough creature. Perhaps you should go the training facility and spar with some of my guards, maybe it will ease the tension.”
I used to train in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu with my brother and a friend of ours. I wonder how much of that I still remember? Most importantly, I wonder how much will work on the ponies? I smiled and nodded. “Sounds like fun.”
She too smiled and looked forward. “Then I shall set something up for you.”
There was a long period of silence between us as we wandered around the maze. I wasn't sure what to talk about, since everything I found interesting weren't to many people I knew back home. No one here would be interested at all.
She decided to break the silence and cleared her throat. “What did you do for a living back home?”
I scoffed and shook my head. “I'm unemployed... but I wish I wasn't.”
She gave me a concerned look. “If you don't work, how do you control those... what are they? Seizures?”
I nodded. “Yeah. That's a gray area. It's not illegal, but it's certainly not ideal. People are supposed to get their medication through a prescription, but they need insurance to make not only the medicine affordable, but the doctor visit as well. But people in my position can't get it, so I get my medicine from a foreign outlet.”
She frowned. “What about government aid?”
I shook my head again. “I live with my parents and the household income is too much to qualify for any kind of help. I'd have to cut myself off from them for a year if I want to get any kind of help. By then I'd probably have a seizure and die.”
I saw the shock on her face. “What about food?”
I shrugged. “Food's an exception. There are food banks as well as government assistance, but I'd be better off with the food bank, even if what they have is expired.”
She let out a mighty sigh and shook her head. “Your leaders don't seem fit for their positions.”
I quietly chuckled. “Amen to that. The ones in power are owned by billionaires and those who aren't have no chance in politics.”
We made our way to a fountain. I'm guessing we're in the middle of the maze. Good thing too, 'cause my legs are getting sore. I sat down next to the fountain and Celestia sat next to me. She turned her gaze to me and she looked depressed. Probably about the way things ran in my country. “Almost two-hundred and fifty years ago back home, a different nation rose up against their oppressors. It was a brutal time, but the ones in power got what was coming to them.”
Her eyes widen. “Do you think that's what will happen in your country soon?”
I shook my head. “No. The people are now programmed to obey their oppressors. There will be no revolution. The people have lost.”
She placed a hoof on my shoulder. I looked in her eyes and saw sympathy. “Know this, even if we do find a way to send you home, you are free to stay here if that's what you want.”
As tempting as the offer was, I'm not sure if I could do it. If I were to go home, I'd be stuck in the same routine day after day, but at least I'd be able to be with my family and what little friends I had. Here, though? I'd be able to start a new life, but I'd be the only human here. I look at the cobblestone ground. “I'll think about it more when the time comes.”
We heard a flapping sound coming from above and we looked up. A pegasus guard flew by us, circled around and landed, bowing as Celestia stood up. “Your Majesty, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is here to speak with you.”
Celestia nodded at the guard and looked at me. “Forgive me, Scott. I must see to this.”
I bit my lip. Oh dude, just say it! Chances are she'll say 'no' anyway. “Would it be okay if I joined you?” Please say no...
She raised an eyebrow. “I suppose you can. Besides, you need to meet more ponies and Cadance is a darling. Hop on my back.”
I complied and we were escorted by the guard. I can't believe it, I'm going to meet Cadance. I bet a lot of MLP fanboys and fangirls would kill to be in my position.
The guard opened up the door, Celestia walked inside with me right behind her. The door closed behind me and Celestia and Cadance walked up to each other and hugged.
The two broke the hug and Cadance was the first to speak. “It's good to see you again, Celestia. Will Twiley be joining us?”
Celestia nodded. “She should be here momentarily.” She turned to me and motioned for me to approach them. “Cadance, I'd like to introduce you to Scott, a human from another world.”
I walked beside the two, Cadance raised a hoof, I gently wrapped my hand around it and without even thinking, I kissed it. “It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am.”
Cadance giggled as she lowered her hoof. “Please, call me 'Cadance'. Good thing Shiny isn't here, or he'd beat you to a pulp.”
I scratched my neck and let out an embarrassed chuckle. “Sorry. It won't happen again.”
The door opened again and in came Princess Twilight Sparkle. The only one missing is Luna, but she's probably passed out in her bed after a hard night's work. “Cadance!” I stepped aside to let the two gallop to each other for their ritual song and dance. Afterward, She looked at me, smiled and nodded. “Scott, good to see you again.”
Twilight and I briefly met a couple of weeks ago and during our meeting, she told me about her friends. You knew them, I knew them. She wasn't as shocked as the others were about me being there, or as scared, she was curious instead. Always the intellectual, that one. I smiled back. “Twilight.”
We took our seats and Cadance was, again, the first to speak. “Thank you for meeting me at such a time.” She began solemnly. “As you know, my ponies have been unusually down lately.”
Oh great, here we go. One of the princesses has a problem and it's going to be up to the human visitor to help solve it. No way. I am not falling into that trap.
Twilight rubbed her hoof against her chin. “The crystal fair is coming soon, isn't it?” Cadance nodded. “Are they excited about it?”
Cadance hung her head. “Not as much as they used to be, I'm afraid. That's why I came here, I'd like some help.”
Nope. Not falling into the trap. Celestia looked at me. Here we go. “Do you have any suggestions, Scott?”
I was swearing like a sailor inside, but I did my best to remain calm and put on a fake smile. “Straight to the alien, huh?” She nodded. Damn it to hell, I really wish she said no. “Well, tell me about this crystal fair.” I already knew about it, but I thought I'd keep playing dumb. Cadance and Twilight took turns filling me in on a traditional fair. That had to be it. “How long has the fair been like this?” Forever. “Well, have you considered they might be bored with the routine?”
Cadance and Twilight looked at each other as the realization struck them like a bullet train. Cadance pondered what I said for a moment. “Perhaps we should mix things up a bit. What do you think, Twilight?”
The new princess nodded. “I agree, but what can we do?”
I rapped my fingers on the table for a moment, then looked at Twilight. “What about your friends? I bet each of them can bring something unique to the table.” She nodded. “Applejack can bring a bunch of her apples and maybe make some cider for the fair too.”
She beamed. “I almost forgot! Zap apple season is in a couple of weeks, she could fix something up for the fair with that.”
I nodded. “Pinkie Pie could help plan the fair and Rainbow Dash could perform some of her tricks.”
Twilight's mouth hung open. “Oh yeah! She could perform a Sonic Rainboom there. That is sure to turn a few heads. That leaves Fluttershy and Rarity.”
I waved my hand. “That's easy. Fluttershy can set up a petting zoo. As for Rarity, maybe you can hold a raffle and whoever wins has a custom outfit made by her. Maybe one for a mare and one for a stallion. A couple maybe.”
Celestia smiled. “That sounds like a wonderful plan and maybe we should give the lucky couple tickets to the next Grand Galloping Gala. What do you two think?”
The other princesses nodded in agreement. Son of a bitch... I can't believe I fell for it. They all gave me an odd look. “What?”
Twilight smiled. “That leaves you. I'm sure there's something you can do to.”
I had no idea for how long, but my brain shut down. They were asking me to contribute to the fair. If I had a skateboard, I'd be practicing flatground tricks with it, but I haven't had one in years. I'm not very talented in anything else either. I shrugged. “I'm not sure what you want me to do, but-”
“What about music? Surely your world has something interesting.” Twilight interrupted.
I shook my head. “I'm tone deaf. There is no way I can play an instrument.”
Cadance nodded. “That's okay. There are unicorns who can simulate musical instruments as soon as they hear the music that's played.”
I raised an eyebrow. “They can play anything by ear?” She nodded again. “That's unbelievable.”
Twilight nodded as well. “I know. I'm quite adept in many forms of magic and instrument simulation is one of my favorites.” She got out of her seat and trotted up to me. “Just think of a song and I'll be able to hear it. It'll then be locked in my memory and I'll be able to play it back.”
I lowered my head and let her press her horn against my head. “Whenever you're ready, Scott.” I took a deep breath and searched my mind for the perfect song. Out of the thousands of songs in my head, I had to pick Blue Swede's cover of 'Hooked on a Feeling'. Damn Guardians of the Galaxy trailer, this was going to be awkward. Shit, I just realized I'm going to miss that movie. Oh well, I'm sure I'll catch it on Blu-Ray.
A few moments later, Twilight pulled back and smiled. “That's a nice song. I'm sure ponies will love hearing it.” She cleared her throat and powered her horn back up. My jaw dropped. She wasn't going to play it back was she? Then it started. Damn it, I really wish Celestia had said no to me coming. No, I should've kept my mouth shut.
After the song finished, the other princesses applauded. I groaned, facepalmed and slid down on my seat in embarrassment. I really should have kept my mouth shut. Twilight turned to her mentor and frowned. “Celestia, I don't understand why you keep him locked up inside the castle. Ponies need to meet him.”
Cadance nodded in agreement. “They should and I suggest that we introduce them to him at the fair.” She had an aura of hope around her as she stood up. “Thank you all for this meeting. I gotta get going and prepare for the fair.” She trotted up to me and gave me a peck on the cheek. “I thank you most of all for your input, Scotty. I was very happy to have met you.”
I continued to sit there, dumbfounded by what just happened. I was hoping to merely observe, but... that happened. While I was in my stupor, Cadance and Twilight left the room. Celestia made her way to the door to speak with the guard. “Take him to the guard training facility. I think he has issues that need to be worked out.”
I snapped back to reality and found myself being carried by a guard. He stopped and I hopped off his back. “How long have I been out of it?”
He shrugged. “My guess, at least fifteen minutes. We're on our way to our training facility at the princess' request.” He continued and I followed close behind. “It's not too much further. We're breaking in some recruits, so it might be a while before you can do... what ever it is you want to do.”
We made our way to a set of double doors. This had to be the entrance to the facility. “Hey, could you have a message passed on to the princess?” He nodded. “I want to meet Discord.”
As if on cue, the Draconequus appeared out of thin air. “Did you call me?” The guard next to me started backing away.
I glared at his smug grin. “One month ago, I was brought here. Did you have anything to do with it?”
He placed a talon on his chin and let out a quiet hum. “One month ago... oh, I was sick.”
My glare hardened. Bullshit. “Were you sick, or were you pretending to be sick?”
He chuckled. “My dear boy, why would I lie?” He teleported behind me and put a paw on my shoulder. It's in your nature, asshole. “When I get sick, I tend to cast spells randomly.”
I grumbled. “Can you send me back or not?”
He tilted his head back, in faux thought no doubt and let out a hum. “Well,” he returned that smug gaze back to me, “I could, but I'll need to remember exactly what I cast. Obviously it was a teleportation spell, but without the proper coordinates... I'm afraid I won't be able to send you back for a while.”
I figured as much. He's probably playing with me. I closed my eyes and started fuming, but I started taking deep breaths, then I nodded. “If you're not ready before the crystal fair, I'm kicking your sorry ass up and down the streets of Canterlot.”
He waved a talon and clicked his tongue. “Watch your tongue, remember where you're at. I'll see you in the Crystal Empire!” He laughed, did a backflip and vanished. Yep. He's playing with me.
I turned back around and headed into the gym. Now I feel like beating something.