It was a windy summer day when Emerald Stars died. That’s me; Emerald Stars. I was a young unicorn mare, living in a nice, middle-class community in Canterlot.
Have you ever been to Canterlot? It’s beautiful there. Its streets are always clean, the ponies – well, most ponies – are wonderfully nice, and the buildings are a ravishing pearly white. Since it rests high on a mountain, there’s always a nice breeze, and the weather is seldom boring. We even had a nice view of the Castle, from our house. We…
I was in love. Have you ever been in love? It’s a magical experience; it truly is. You can know somepony, but once you fall for them… It’s like seeing the stars for the first time; like lavender in an open meadow; like pure elation, simply from knowing that he’s there. It’s indescribable.
His name is Glass Arrow. He’s an Earth Pony, originally from Manehattan. He once told me that he went to Canterlot to pursue his career in glass sculpting; that the market just wasn’t quite right for it in Manehattan. We first met a year or so ago, in a small bread shop. I was craving buns that evening, and thought I might treat myself. We bumped our heads reaching for the same bag. I apologised to him, and he must have done the same ten times over. We laughed about it over coffee in a donut bar. We kept meeting for coffee weekly, which quickly turned into daily, and naturally progressed into long walks and nights gazing at Luna’s stars. We bought a house six months later. I know, right? Who even does that? I couldn’t help it, though. I was in love, and, as far as I was concerned, he completed me. His love fed my very existence; literally. You see, I haven’t been entirely honest about myself.
I’m a Changeling: a creature that’s very much like a pony, but a bit more insect-like. I can change my appearance at will. I can be anypony... anything I want. I don’t really need to eat, or drink, or consume much of anything, really. It’s still really nice to; it’s just not mandatory for me. Rather, my sustenance is that which ponies hold most dear to their hearts and their souls: love. I don’t really think that ‘consume’ or ‘feed’ would be altogether too accurate for how I partake of it, despite what you might have been told, though for lack of a better word, I’ll simply stick with ‘feed’.
There are many ways that a Changeling feeds upon love, of course. Most of us forcefully drain it from ponies; it’s the easier way, though the outcome isn’t very favourable for the health of the pony. The alternative is less tangible. If we’re given it freely, then we simply absorb it; kind of like how a flower simply absorbs the rays of the sun. This latter method is the one that I preferred. I don’t like hurting ponies; in fact, I very much doubt that most of us do. After all, we need them to survive. Most Changelings simply don’t know a better way. Of course, it doesn’t help that most, if not all Ponies hold a deep-rooted prejudice of fear against us, though I recognize that it’s not historically unwarranted.
Before you ask; no, Glass doesn’t know of my status as a Changeling. He can never know. If he did, he would hate me, and every memory we shared.
I didn’t mean to fall in love, you know. I only meant to live a small, simple life, with a small, simple job, and a few mutual friends. That was the plan, anyway. Call me simple, but I thought it sounded nice; and it was, while it lasted. It was amazing. I was away from The Hive; a Hive in which I was just another Changeling to be feared. I had a chance at living a different kind of life; a happy life. I didn’t have to hurt anypony. I could co-exist. I could be normal. Of course, it did sound too perfect to be true.
I was lucky enough to have been at home the day of the Royal Wedding. The library I worked at was renovating, so they didn’t need me in. I wouldn’t have had an inkling to what was happening, were it not for the then Captain Shining Armour’s protective shield. My suspicions wouldn’t have been confirmed until they started raining from the sky. It was an invasion. Our Queen Chrysalis was taking over the kingdom of Equestria. I remember the feeling of being surrounded by so much fear. I had surrounded myself with so much love; it came as a shock when it was so violently overtaken by fear, both those of the ponies around me, and my own. I was afraid of harm coming to those I loved. I was afraid that they would find me, and pull me out of the life I had built for myself. Most of all, I was afraid for Glass. I didn’t see him for the entirety of the attack. What guards made it to our district bade us all to stay indoors, so I could only hope that he found a shelter of his own. He had, as I later found out.
In the end, Princess Cadance and Shining Armour won over the Queen. I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sheer violence of that expulsion spell they radiated over Canterlot. From a window, I was able to observe the moment it exploded from the Castle. It banished every Changeling, and their Queen, from the city in one fell sweep, sending them flying to distant lands. Because I am a Changeling, I, too, was thrown by it. Because I was indoors, however, I was stopped by both a wall, and a shelf of my favourite ceramic dishware. I’m not going to lie; it hurt. I was still home, though, and for that I was thankful. I later explained it to Glass, that a Changeling attempted to overthrow me, but I was able to fight it off with my magic. He was an endearing mixture of alarmed, impressed, and concerned for my safety. You should have seen him; it was cute, really. Of course, that day was simply the catalyst for the events to follow; events that would break my heart.
The home-to-home investigations started the day after. The Royal Guard would go to each pony’s residence, interrogate them, and perform a revealing spell to confirm that no Changelings remained in the city. They started in the central, high-class areas – the ones closest to the Castle – and worked their way outward like a ripple in a pond. It wouldn’t be until a few days later that they got to our area. I was on my way home from the library when a couple guards knocked on our door. I was just about to round a street corner when I heard the rapping of hoof on wood. Glass answered, for which I was thankful. They asked him some questions, and performed the spell on him. When he turned out… clean, they then asked about me. He told them that I was still out, and that they were more than welcome to enter and wait for me. Thankfully, they opted to move on and come back tomorrow, as they had to cover as many residences as possible. That’s when I truly knew that my life had been brought to an end. If I stayed, they would expose me for what I was, and Glass Arrow would know as well. The only alternative would be to tell him myself. Neither option was possible. He would hate me for lying to him for so long either way. So, that night, as Glass slept, I devised a plan to end my life myself.
It was a windy, summer day when we went out to the walls. I had told Glass that I had always wanted to get a view of the great waterfall that flows from the mountain-side river – not untrue; I always did – and that we should go. Given the circumstances, it only seemed logical that I might want a day to get my mind off of the invasion. So, that morning we set for the walls. You’d think that, given that it’s the capital city of Equestria, there would be a tight security there. However, since Canterlot rests on the side of a mountain, the terrain makes climbing impossible, so there’s really no need for a Guard. For this, I was thankful.
When we got to the walls, the first thing we did was get some snow cones from a local cart. He got lemon; I got lime. There weren’t many ponies around, so there was no line. Then, we got a view of the waterfall. It was just as glorious as I’d imagined. The roar was deafening, and Celestia’s sun created a magnificent rainbow in the falling droplets. We were both so enchanted by the falls, that we were unable to save our snow cones from a gust of wind. A grizzled old stallion stood nearby with a camera, offering photos of ponies with the falls. I convinced Glass to get one with me. Once I paid, we went to the walls. The stallion – I never did get his name – told us to pose. I told Glass that I had an idea for a great photo, and stood on the wall. I told him it would look like one of those film posters. The photographer told me to get down, and Glass more than urged me to comply. I re-assured them that it would be fine. That was when another gust of wind blew. I lost my balance, stumbled, and fell from the falls.
I don’t remember too much from that moment. The waterfall was too loud for me to hear much, and my eyes were too misted from the tears I had been holding. In the moment before I fell into the water, I heard Glass Arrow screaming, and thought I had seen him scramble for the walls, narrowly being held back by the photographer. I think I had seen a few other pony heads peep over the ledge as I fell, but I wasn’t really sure. By that moment, I had started to cry. Emerald Stars would never be seen or heard from again.
I can’t tell you how much I regret having to do that. If it were up to me, I would still be in our Canterlot house, sleeping next to the stallion I came to love. Instead, Glass Arrow would be hosting a funeral for a body that would never be found, and I would be flying far away from the life I had. I had no other choice. Thanks to Queen Chrysalis, Emerald Stars had to die. I still cry every night before I sleep. What I wouldn’t give for just one more day…
I can’t tell you who I am now, or where I’m living. If any of this gets out to anypony… Though, I guess I won’t have to worry about that. I’ll be burning this as soon as I’m done.
Why am I even writing this? I don’t know. I guess my old life has just been sitting heavier than usual on my mind as of late, and just had to talk to somepony, even if that somepony is a roll of parchment on an old desk.
I’m so sorry, Glass. I’m so sorry that you had to lose the pony that loves you most. I’m sorry for what I had to do. I’m sorry that you fell in love with something to fear. I’m sorry that you fell in love with a monster. I’m sorry that you fell in love with a Changeling.
With all my love,
Yours, always,
Emerald Stars