//------------------------------// // Exploding Chainsaw // Story: Do You Like Fish or Meat? - Short Stories by Cleverbot // by ThePristineEye //------------------------------// The sun was just about to set over Manehattan. Scootaloo, a time traveling bathmat salespony, was snacking on a cheap burger at her local Carl's Jr. Admittedly it tasted somewhat bland and had far too much barbeque sauce, but she wasn't going to throw something away like her parents did all those years ago. No. She was going to enjoy the damn burger whether or not she liked it. A rather inebriated looking fellow had sat in a chair adjacent to her. “Hey, is it just me, or does that bun, like, totally look like Jesus?” Scootaloo despite her skepticism looked down at the bun atop her burger. Nothing was immediately apparent but the sesame seeds sprinkled evenly across the well baked bread. “Who's Jesus?” Scootaloo asked “You know, my roommate. He's like, an immigrant or something.” The drunken pony looked quickly to his left, than to his right. He then pulled Scootaloo in by the collar and began to speak in a hushed tone. “Look man, I didn't come here to speak about your Jesus buns. You see that pill on the ground.?” He shifted his gaze to the ground left of him and then back to Scootaloo. Scootaloo looked to the floor to her right. There was in fact a completely negligible blue pill on the ground. “Yeah, what about it?” “Why haven't you taken it yet?” “W-What do you mean?” “I mean, Why haven't eaten the floor pill yet?” “Because I… don't eat things off the floor?” “So you're saying…. If you saw a Lobster dinner on the floor you wouldn't eat it?” “No, probably not.” The pony seemed flabbergasted. “But, but the pill could be anything! It could be an antacid tablet, it could be ecstasy, better yet, it could be Viagra!” “Well I'm female, so Viagra doesn't really have a use. Plus, I'm a kid or something.” “Good point.” The pony seemed content with her answer and let go of her collar yet still seemed a little irked. “I suppose I should take it or else the mystery will never be solved.” The pony got out of his seat and stamped the pill with a hoof crushing it into a fine powder. Nose first, he dived into the blue mess on the ground and gave one spectacular snort capturing even a stray fry that was nearby. Unfortunately the pill wasn't ecstasy, or even Viagra, it was an odd mixture of Benedryl and arsenic. Being arsenic, it killed him almost instantly which brings the question what the benedryl was for. Scootaloo was not surprised and went on eating her burger.