Applejack sat quietly next to her brother. It was hard to know what to say, even though there was quite a bit to be said. So much had happened a few months ago, and another onslaught of drama came right on the heels of it...and right to her door. Again.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
She was never one for clock gazing. Even in school, she found a way to stay engaged during the most inane lectures on arithmetic. Granted, it involved pretending the numbers on the number line were sheep she needed to herd, but it did help her memorize that times table. This clock, however, was hypnotizing her into a near state of meditation. Each second seemed to be synchronized with her heart.
Tick. Tock.
Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
Tick. Tock.
Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
“...Ah'm bored.”
“Eeyup.”
Tick. Tock.
Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
“...He'll be fine. He's tougher than he looks.”
“...Ah know.”
Tick. Tock.
“...You gonna be fine, big brother?”
“...Ee...mmhmm.”
“Come again?”
“Ah'll be okay, sis.”
Tick. Tock.
Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
“...Mind if Ah ask you an odd question?”
“...Shoot.”
“Ah know yer protective o' him an' all but...um...oh, how do Ah word this?”
“Take yer time...”
Tick. Tock.
Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
“...Why 'zactly were you so set against this? Now, before you answer, consider this: if'n you take out the painful surgery an' the statement o' warfare 'gainst nopony in particular, what's there left? Not much.”
That's right, ain't it?...Yeah. That's it.
Tick. Tock.
“Sure, ponies will be scared o' him, at least at first, and he's in some real agony right now, but...all things considered, ain't it jus' a small price to pay? It's jus' a short-term mess to sort out a long-term one, if'n you ask me,” finished Applejack.
Tick. Ba-dum. Tock.
“...Ah dunno.”
She finally looked to her brother: he was slumped over the floor, staring at the tiles in front of him. He really didn't know, did he?
“Whut coulda gotten you so riled up, then?”, she asked in a purposefully neutral tone.
Tick. Tock. Ba-dum.
“...Ah'm not rightly sure. Ah just knew Ah didn't like it.”
“Well, nopony likes it, sugarcube,” she commented. “But you were th' only one t'try and keep him from doin' it.”
“Not true,” he snapped. “Them other doctors wouldn't touch it.”
Tick. Sigh. Tock.
Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
“T'ain't the same thing, an' you know it.”
“An' jus' whut would you—n-nevermind.”
Applejack grimaced. This had to get somewhere, or she would never be satisfied.
Ba-dum. Tick. Tock.
“Big brother, it's clear as day somethin's eatin' you up. But t'ain't whut you say it is. Now just open up t'yer little sister and tell th' truth.”
Groan. Ba-dum.
Tick. Tock.
“Ah done told you th' truth, sis; Ah really don' know.”
“Big Macintosh. Think back. You know how silly that sounds? How could you not know?”
“...If'n it sounds silly, then Ah guess Ah'm jus' silly.”
Tick. Tock.
Ba-dum.
“Ah don' reckon Ah like that answer,” challenged Applejack.
“Tough. S'all Ah got.”
Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.
“So yer tellin' me you threatened yer lover jus' cuz yer a silly pony? Mac, you look me in th' eyes an' tell me that makes sense.”
Applejack watched her brother slowly...too slowly turn his head to face her. They fixed their gazes upon each other.
Tick. Ba-dum.
Ba-dum. Tock.
She furrowed her brow trying to perceive him, to see past his own defiant eyes filling her vision. Green irises flaring, shrinking pupils...eeyup, he was hiding something. But then he quickly relaxed, his eyes returning to normal.
Ba-dum. Tick. Tock. Ba-dum.
Applejack just kept her gaze stony and piercing. Each second seemed to be passing by slower and slower...
Tick. Tock. Ba-dum.
She had heard two mountains couldn't move each other if they were standing still...but this mountain sure as all six hells wasn't about to budge.
Tick.
Come on, you big turkey. Fess up.
Tock.
...Big Macintosh's gaze slipped to the right.
“Ah knew it,” she declared.
The big turkey groaned and flopped back to the ground, covering his muzzle with his hooves. Time moved normally again.
“Look, Ah'm not tryin' t'make you feel bad here. Ah jus' want t'know what could make my own brother act that way. It was a mite scary, an' Ah ain't keen on seein' it 'gain.”
“...'Zat why you ran away, then?”
Tick. Blush. Tock.
“L-Let's not make this 'bout me.”
“Oh, 'course not.”
Applejack felt herself almost fall over. It wasn't like him to be sarcastic...
Was it?
Tick. Tock.
“...Well, since you asked, Ah-Ah had a moment o'weakness, that's all. You were rantin' and ravin'...Mel wuz darn near martyrin' himself, an' it wuz all jus'...uncomfortable fer me. Ah jus' hadta git outta there.”
Tick. Ba-dum, ba-dum. Tock.
“Look, Ah cain't be a hardy cowpony all th' damn time, okay?!”
“...Nnope.”
“An' jus' whut does that mean?!”
“It means no.”
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.
Tick.
“...Oh, horseapples. Ah...Ah reckon Ah hated it so much 'cuz...because...”
“Take yer time,” said Applejack.
Tock. Sigh. Tick. Tock.
“...Ah hated it 'cuz Ah didn't...wanna believe that silly pony really had it that bad.”
Tick. Cough. Tock.
“Ah had never seen a pony in Ponyville that didn't have a reason t'smile. Not one. An' when Ah saw Mel smilin' even though he couldn't buck a single tree...it proved t'me there's always a reason t'be happy. So Ah wuz happy.”
Tick. Tock.
“But then he showed me who he really wuz...he showed me a pony that...that couldn't smile if'n he tried. Ah...Ah reckon Ah didn't believe in that, not really. Ah didn't believe he wuz really, truly serious; maybe it wuz 'cuz he kept smilin' afterward. But he wuz hurtin', so Ah took pity on him. Not t'mention Ah felt...um...Ah guess Ah jus' went along with him as everythin' happened, Ah dunno. It all happened so fast...”
Tick. Tock. Clop, clop.
“Seein' him so hard set t'shoe himself...it scared me 'cuz it made me doubt mahself somethin' fierce. Maybe he really didn't have any other choice, it's hard t'say...”
Oh, good gravy.
“Big Macintosh...that's a right shame, that is. Ah'm sorry you hadta shoulder so much. But there are two things Ah got t'say t'that.”
Tick. Ba-dum, ba-dum. Tock.
Ba-dum.
“One, you coulda told me this, an' Ah woulda reminded you o' how our lives were never jus' sunshine an' gumdrops handed t'us. We hadta work fer what we had, and still do t'this day. An' you know as well as anypony that someponies jus' gotta work harder than others. Caramel's one o'those that's gotta work th' hardest.”
“...E-Eeyup.”
Tick.
“An' puttin' aside th' fact that Ah woulda helped you if'n you told me you were confused or losin' faith...th' other thing Ah wanna say is codswallop, big brother.”
“Whut?”
Ba-dum, ba-dum, tock.
“Ah accept you were strugglin' with yer feelin's. But those feelin's ain't th' kind o' feelin's t'make you bellow at t'top o' yer lungs like yer some stud tryin' t'keep his mare in check. Ah asked you t'tell me th' truth, but yer still hidin' it!”
Ba-dum, tick. Ba-dum, tock.
“Ah. Ain't. Hidin'. Nothin'!”
Tock, tick. Ba-dum...
Applejack patted her chest.
“If'n yer not hidin' somethin' still, then you gotsta prove t'me yer not crazy.”
Oh mercy, did Ah really jus' say that?
Ba-dum, ba-dum, tick, tock.
That look on his face...Ah did really jus' said that. Oh pony.
“Ah told you th' truth, little sis o' mine. Ah ain't crazy! Ah wuz jus' thinkin'...maybe he really didn't have any hope, maybe he really wuz born cursed, but that just...that jus' makes me so angry 'cuz Ah woulda helped him in a heartbeat if'n he came t'me. That silly pony wouldn't take any help, so he jus' let me make a fool outta mahself by experimentin' when he KNEW FULL WELL it wuz pointless! Oh, he jus' let me believe it wuz goin' somewhere, Ah bet that's whut it wuz.”
Applejack placed a hoof on her brother's shoulder. It was incredibly tense. She made an effort to soothe him, but he batted her away.
“...Stupid colt needed help an' he jus' stowed away in our barn. Did he really think that wuz okay?! He wuz ready t'get blown away in th' cataclysm with that attitude! An' NOW he's shovin' nails in his bare hooves without painkillers 'cuz he's...too scared t'admit he's helpless.”
Tick, ba-dum, ba-dum. Tock, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.
“He's so damn helpless, yet he tries t'make things right without a damn idea in his head. He's so damn proud, Ah bet...Ah bet he only really wanted t'do this without meds 'cuz he felt guilty 'bout stayin' with us, even though he MORE than made it up to us. He jus' smiles an' jokes an' makes like everythin' is okay even though he's dyin' inside 'cuz he thought he could overcome anythin' but he's powerless fer th' first time an' he *cough* hates it so much even though he thought *hack* he could deal with it but he cain't.”
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.
Applejack couldn't do anything but listen as her big brother was breaking apart. It was like watching a train full of ponies at top speed fall over onto its side, taking out the buffalo with it.
Tick.
“But *wheeze* he cain't feel powerless at a time like this 'cuz *cough* there's so much t'be done like he needs to stop lyin' t'himself *COUGH* an' jus' admit he's a good pony even though he's got all these issues he's hidin' like he's angry all the time an' he tries t'smooth over horrible things an' he doesn't understand how he can like stallions 'an it's...it's...”
Tock.