Chapter 3: Morning Reminiscence
I get my wings from my mother. She was from the Frozen North, a place where a pegasus can't drift on thermals all day, you have to work for every inch. And because of that my wings are longer and more powerful than most. The pegasus around Ponyville have shorter wings that are built for speed and maneuverability. My wings are built for fighting harsh cold winds and soaring over vast wastelands of snow and ice. With a single flap I can get ten feet off the ground easy, the down side to this is that when I get that high.... I usually lock up. And then there's the fall and the pain and the odd looks, I'd rather just stay close to the ground. The only time in my life where I've been very high up was at flight school, and let me tell you, that was a nightmare. Thousands of feet in the air when I'm afraid to go more than ten feet up on a good day. I was a nervous wreck. Every time I even got near the edge I would freeze up. My instructors said that I had great potential, but my..... disability, hindered me to the point that a normal life as a pegasus just wasn't possible. Now for, lets say, Dash or South, who grew up in Cloudsdale and have no other passion than flying, this would have been devastating. For me, It was kind of a blessing. I didn't want to live in Cloudsdale, or be a weather pony, or fly through the clouds. I just wanted to go home. But every pegasus is required to complete Flight School, so I just had to suck it up.
The clouds where a nice change though. Having been born in Ponyville and raised on the ground, I never experienced the sensation of clouds under hoof before my time in Flight School. Yea, clouds are cool. I don't really get to enjoy them any more though. Not unless another pegasus brings one down to me. Well..... there was the time Dash and South dragged me up to one to try and "Cure" me of my fears. I sat up there with my eyes closed shaking for four hours before Fluttershy found out and rescued me. I mean, Sigh, yea she rescued my sorry flank.
Ever since I was a filly and my mom tried to teach me how to fly I've had this problem. I didn't have any trouble flying, but the heights....they just get to me. Like I said, the other pegasus looked at me like there was something wrong with me, like I was broken. I got out of almost every open air exercise, with the requirement that I ace all of my other exams, which I did. But the others still didn't understand. They called me names and picked on me, I was an outcast. I spent most of my time alone, that is until I met South. He was my only friend, kinda sad I know, now I've got more friends, but I will never be able to repay him for the kindness he showed me in those days. And the kindness he continued to show me after. When my mother passed, he was there for me. When my first book sold out, he celebrated with me. When I asked Fluttershy to go out with me the first time, he was the one who pushed me. Like I said, I will never be able to repay him.
...
So here I was, adding yet another tally to the "I Owe South Board" as I make my way down the empty streets of Ponyville. It's a little after three in the morning, or at least that what the clock said when I left. It was probably around four now. I had been dragging my hooves ever since I woke up. I d stared at the ceiling for a good while. Then I'd slowly brushed my teeth and took a long shower. I took my time packing up the flowers. Id even considered taking up South on his offer to come with me, but I couldn't impose any more than I already had. Well I could have, but I wasn't going to. Sigh. Not today.He had plans to, plans that I had sworn not to muck up. So I set out alone, walking slowly with my head drooping. As I passed town hall I glanced up to read the time on the clock tower. Four thirty eight. Pony feathers. If I don't hurry, Id run out of time. My pace quickens but only slightly.
I was still being weighted down by my....... I m not really sure what. Its not fear. I've visited my mothers grave many times. Ok, so I haven't been in over a year, and South was with me the last time. Deep breaths Moonlight deep breaths. Its not sadness, though I do miss her more than anything else. Her Smile, her laugh, the way she would tell me stories at night to help me forget about the monsters I thought I saw under my bed. The encouraging hoof that gave me the strength to share my writings with other ponies. T-the way I would just feel better from seeing her. Before I notice it I'm crying...... I think it might be regret....... I do regret not telling her everyday that she was the best mom ever, that I loved her and dad more than anything else in the world. I regret that its been so long since my last visit. And I regret that I've been....... such a coward. I have to stop walking because I can't tell where I'm going any more. I wipe my eyes and squint through the dim light at my surroundings, only to close them and wish I'd kept walking. I was there. I take a breath and hold it for a second before letting it out and stepping onto the glade where my mother rests.
It's peaceful here. My father picked a spot that would have brought a tear to her eye.
As I crest the hill my eyes quickly find it. A simple tomb stone, set in the space between two oak trees. As I approach my head lowers once more. When I finally reach the site I read the inscription, just like I always do. "Here, in eternal rest, lies Aurora Eclipse, loving wife and mother." But that was just the standard fare, put there by my unimaginative but sweet father. The true inscription I had done myself. As I brush the stone with my wing the letters start to glow to life. After a moment a second part is revealed under the first, dimly glowing in blue. "Let the stars cherish you for all time, let the night comfort you until we can follow, let our love reach you for all our days, and let Luna watch over those you have touched. Good byes are only the beginning. I love you Mom." A small breeze ruffles my feathers as fresh tears well up in my eyes. Her smiling face beams at me from the photo inlaid in the stone. Her black mane tied back and out of the way, stands in stark contrast to her silvery coat. Her hazel eyes sparkle in the sun light. A small dark blue filly rides on her back, her short unkempt electric blue mane laying haphazardly over her eyes as she tries to hide from the camera.
"Hay mom."I say slowly brushing a few leaves off of the top. "I came to tell you happy mothers day. I even brought you some flowers." Reaching into my bag with a smile I pull out the two potted flowers. One glows softly in the darkness as the other glimmers in the moon light. "This ones from South." I say placing the flower next to her picture. "And this ones from Zecora." I place the other one on the opposites side. "She said sorry it took so long." I stand there in silence for a minute or two shifting from hoof to hoof, trying to hold my self together. But as time passes memories of her start to trickle into my thoughts. My smile falters and tears stream down my face as my last shred of control shatters. I crumple to the ground next to her and cry. I cry for her, for my father, for myself. I'd give almost anything just to hear her laugh at one of my stupid stories, just one more time. By the time I'm done I'm to tired to go home. As the sun rises slowly into the sky making the beautiful Midnight flower close, I to close my eyes. And as I lay there I try to think of anything else but my mom. A memory drifts into my thoughts and it so strong that I can't help but relive it.
.........
When it comes to lunar magic, the price of each spell must be carefully considered. Some spells have very simple and almost unnoticeable prices, such as loss of an hour of sleep, blurred eye sight for a bit, or loss of dreams for a week. Others have prices so steep that they have never been paid, and uses so vile that they have been buried for centuries.
After my mother died my father became distant. He became less watchful of his curious daughter's actions. About two months after..... in an attempt to learn more about my mother, I when into her and my fathers joint study. In there I found a book with a serious looking alicorn on the cover. I wish I had never laid eyes on that book. I, in my foalish bumbling, discovered a hidden inscription behind the back cover. It described in, sparse detail, a spell and its cost. Luckily for me I had not yet been made aware of my power or I would have probably cast it. This spell was known as The Spell of Night Shadow. It's effect was stated unspecifically as "banishment of foes." , but, as I would find out in years to come, its price is the steepest of all the spells that I have discovered and have been taught.
After Lady Luna was purged of the great affliction that was Nightmare Moon and regained her powers, she found me. From then on there was not one princess protege, but two. Luna taught me about my lineage, and my....birth right. She drilled into me the techniques of how to summon and control my power. But it wasn't until near the end of my first year of training that she taught me the responsibility of wielding such a power, not only to protect others from its effects, but my self as well. Once again, in my foalishness I almost committed a grievous crime against both a, well not exactly innocent, creature, and against myself.
...
I had been roaming about the Everfree late one night. Reflecting on the lesson I had learned earlier. When out of no where I was knocked clear off my hooves, and slammed hard into a tree. As I tried to stand, my left fore leg crying out in protest and buckling beneath my weight, a shadow fell upon me. As I looked up to face whatever had attacked me, I remember my only though being, "I am going to die." Standing over me was the grotesque form of one of the most dangerous creatures in all of Equesrtia, the Venom Golem.
Golems were creatures created by ancient mages to assist ponies. The are formed from earth, molded into the shape of a pony, and given a simple kind of intelligence. The problems started when mages tried to infuse the golems with other materials. The results of which ranged from grotesque twisted monstrosities to kinder, gentler golems. The practice of creating golems was deemed illegal regardless, and all existing golems where disenchanted and dismantled. All except one. Or so an old Ponyville legend goes, one that is a favorite of a certain rainbow maned pony. A legend about a golem infused with the essence of noxious venom. That creature was proven to be much more than legend to me that day, for it stood before me.
Pieces of hissing muddy flesh rolled off his large equine shoulders, its breath stank of rotting meat, and it growled with a ferocity I never though possible. I was stunned by the sight, the only movement being my uncontrollable shaking. My mind how ever was not all lost in despair as I realized I could survive this using magic. My heart sank though at the realization that I didn't know any combat magic that would make a difference to a Golem. That is until the memory of a certain book clicked back into my mind. "It's my only hope!" I rationalized. Getting painfully to my hooves as the creature bore down on me, I momentarily thanked him for throwing me so far away. As he neared I reared up and began chanting the spell.
"Bloody shifts, Tides converge. I call forth, from the broken world."
"Blacken night, with your embrace. Trace my heart, with your disgrace."
The familiar warm feeling of magic flowing throughout my body began to turn cold as I continued on to the third verse.
"Grave born come, No more to take. Shadow's fall, I do so break."
As I spoke the last word in that line my lower body became numb, but I chanted on, starting the final verse.
"Let no eye, Ever befall. The twisted make, of this....."
As the last word was leaving my mouth I was sent flying once again. This time I knew it was not the Golem's work as when I struck a nearby tree I continued to be held there by a telekinetic force. As feeling rushed back into my body and the cold left me to the pain I cried out. The sound quickly died in the still air as I opened my bleary eyes. Before me stood Lady Luna, glowing with energy as she drove the Venom Golem back and back and finally away with searing pale light. Relief washed over me only to be replaced with gut churning fear as Luna turned to me. Her eyes held an anger the likes of which I have never witness before, even putting to shame Nightmare Moon's. With a swing of her head the force holding me up vanished and I fell six feet to the ground. Before I even have time to register the pain Luna is on me, flipping me over onto my back and holding me still with her hoof.
"What in all of Equestria did you think you were doing?!" She demands the ferocity of her voice making me shudder even more than I was mere seconds before.
"I-I-I w-w...." My voice falters as I try to get through the words. She silences me with a quick hoof slap to the face. Never in the year of teaching had Luna ever done anything like this. I looked up in confusion and pain. She had become a surrogate parent, I would never call her mother for that right lies with one individual, but she filled the raged hole left by my mother's passing. As my mind, still racing from the previous encounter, struggled to comprehend what was happening I felt something wet splash against my face making me look up. I will never forget the sight of the calm and ever confidant Princess Luna crying.
"You fool." She says picking me up and hugging me tightly to her chest, all the while sobbing into my mane. I was so confused, scared, and worn out that I clutched her back with my good leg and cried along with her.
As I sat there in her embrace I found my self whispering over and over, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." With out even knowing what it was I was sorry for. All I knew was that I had done something so.....wrong, that it had made Luna breakdown.
...
You see, I had almost done something that would have ended my life in one of the most terrible ways possible. Latter, after we recovered, Luna took me to the Canterlot hospital to get my leg treated, and explained everything to me. The spell that I had almost cast was created during the short reign of Nightmare Moon, by the fallen king Cromora Hellgrand. It corrupts the surrounding shadows into solid form and take the shape of jagged curved claws. They hook themselves deep in the flesh of the spells target and slowly begin to tear it from their bones, one agonizing inch after the other, until they are striped completely bare. This was a revolting and terrible fate to be certain, but the price to cause such pain and violence was far worse. In order to cast this spell one must offer not only their own life, but also their very spirit, to be sent to a nightmare realm where they writhe in absolute agony for all eternity.
This horrific revelation rocked me to say the least. I..... didn't sleep for a long time....... didn't go outside......... I stayed in my room and cried. I had almost committed an atrocity the like of which would never be equaled in the infinite remainder of existence. Forgive me for that last part, I can sometimes be very dramatic. But I'm not one to wallow in self pity forever. Once my leg fully healed I resumed my lessons with Luna, but from then on, I considered the price and effects of each spell with new, more comprehending eyes.
.........
As the memory fades I open my eyes and look out over the glade. The morning dew sparkles on the grass, birds chirp in the trees, clouds roll lazily across the sky, the world moves on. With a sigh I stand and stretch out my wings. After one last long look, I say my goodbye and start making my way home. "Now all I have to do is decide what to bring to the dinner latter." This thought stops me in my tracks. Why? Well because I was so focused on what I wanted to do this morning, that I forgot one very important detail about today. I have to bring something to the dinner, and I can't cook. Groan. "Ponyfeathers!"
*******
"Ummm. I'm not so sure about this." I say to myself as I walk down the lonely road. Angel thought it would be nice. I've been to Aurora's grave a few times with Moon but I'd never gone alone before. I debate weather or not to just turn around now and go home or keep going. Just then I hear somepony else coming up the path. Without thinking I dive into the bushes on the side of the path and cower, covering my head with my hooves. As I hear the hoofsteps move away I peak out from my hiding place to see who startled me. I freeze upon recognizing Moonlight. She walks slowly and deliberately back toward town with her head low deep in thought mumbling something to her self.
I suddenly want to run out and console her but as I start to move she groans loudly and yells. "Ponyfeathers!" Before taking off with a running start and quickly flying toward town staying low to the ground as always.
I stare quizzically off in the direction she went for a few minutes before extracting my self from the bush. My mind is made up. I trot down the path once again with renewed purpose. Unfortunately my renewed vigor doesn't last long and as I come up to the turn off I drop my head once more. "Should I really be doing this?" I ask in a whisper. I stand there thinking, shifting my weight from hoof to hoof until I finally, slowly, turn and walk down the path leading to Aurora's resting place.
As I walk I think back on Moon's actions lately. She seemed to want to open up allot more, though I thought I knew everything important already. What I thought was left were just bits and pieces, not really big enough to do much harm if kept secret. But Moon seems torn about something. I'm not sure though. She just seemed distracted lately, well shes always a bit distracted, off in her own world. But she'd been out right avoiding certain things lately and I was starting to worry. I don't want her to hurt. I frown at that though. If I was the one causing her problems then I need to know what to do to fix it. I can't help her if she wont tell me what the problem is though. I'll just have to be more assertive. I raise my head a little. I'll demand to know that's bothering her. My head droops. Erm or I'll just politely ask her while reminding her that she doesn't have to answer if she doesn't want to. Sigh. Why can't I just be more like Rainbow or Applejack? My eyes widen. "That's it!" I announce. "I'll ask Applejack and Rainbow Dash about it at the dinner tonight!" I breath a sigh of relief from finally having an idea on the matter. A smile works its way onto my lips as I walk along feeling a bit lighter. My mood falters as I catch sight of the headstone. I hadn't realized I'd gotten this far already.
I approach the nearest tree slowly and place my hoof on it. The bark is rough and solid. The birds chirp and the squirrels chatter in its branches. How fitting to have her rest between such beautiful trees. After pulling my hoof away from the tree and moving over next to the grave I notice the two flowers sitting on either side. One is closed while the other is in full bloom. Moon must have left them. I Start at the realization that I didn't bring anything. I was so nervous about just coming here that I didn't event think to pick some flowers for her.
"I-I'm sorry miss Aurora. I forgot to bring you some flowers." I stop and blow a strand of my mane out of my face. "I just wanted to come and wish you a happy Mothers day. I see that Moon has already been, most likely since last night." I chuckle lightly. I never got to meet Aurora. I'd heard about her but Moon and I didn't become close until after she passed. That's one thing I regret. Moon talks about her sometimes, and it just makes me so sad for her to have lost her. I cant begin to imagine the pain that must have caused her. "I wish we could have met." I wipe a tear from my eye. "Your daughter is amazing. Thank you for bringing her into this world, and into my life."
I pat the cold stone and turn to leave. Just then my eye catches a glint from something in the dirt by the base of the left tree. Curiosity takes over and I walk up to the tree and brush some of the dirt away. What I find looks allot like the symbol that's stitched into Moons favorite bandanna. Its a silver pendant hanging from a short chain shaped like a half moon, but instead of a star peaking out from behind the moon, there is a ribbon of purple and blue wrapped around it. I clean the dust and dirt from it and flip it over. There is an inscription. I cant tell what it says though, its written in another language. "Hmmm, maybe Twilight would know." with nowhere else to put it I fit the chain over my left wing, strangely it fits perfectly as if it was meant to go there. I then begin walking back to the path once more throwing one last look over my shoulder as I leave.