“Mornin’, Ms. Cradle!”
Cloudy Cradle peeked over the cover of her novella and smiled to the mailmare. “Good morning to you too, Zippor. Bringing me something good in the mail, I hope?”
The cream-colored pegasus giggled and pulled out a coupon book. “At least it’s not a bill!” she said enthusiastically and whizzed past the mailbox and over the fence to deliver it personally.
“I’ll take it. It’s the closest to good news I’ve had in a few.”
Zipporwhill draped herself over the small guardrail of the porch. “Bad trip?”
“You can say that again, Zippor,” said Cloudy Cradle as she tucked the coupon book underneath the small cushion of her porch chair and patted her copy of ‘Of Mice And Mares’. “You do not know how much I am looking forward to just kicking up my hooves and catching up on some reading.”
“That’s no fun!” said Zipporwhill happily. “I’m gonna try and get my deliveries done early so I can go enjoy as much of this sunny day as possible! Wanna come?”
Cloudy Cradle laughed quietly and shook her head. “Sorry. I’m due to spend time with the foals today. Trixie has her hooves full as it is over there.”
The excitable pegasus cartwheeled over the fence. “Alright!” she said as she tumbled through the air, “Maybe next time!”
The gray mare tugged at the neck of her blouse as she watched the mailmare jolt through the air toward her next destination. “Nopony never gets to heaven, and nopony gets no land,” she read aloud as she marked her place with a bookmark and laid it down on the small table. It had been an all-around unpleasant trip and she wanted nothing more than to lay in a heap in a bubble bath until she quite literally melted, but she had work to do at G&P. She would survive as always; her trip to Canterlot had been a complete debacle, yes, but not a total loss and she had definitely had worse. Besides, she had already gotten what she looked forward to most after any business trip: a hot shower and a long sleep in her own king-sized bed.
She finished off the rest of her tea from her novelty mug that was shaped like a prescription pill bottle and sighed. It was still early; the foals weren’t due to G&P for another hour, but there was no time like the present to head there. Trixie would be there by now, and despite her reputation as being somewhat obnoxious and some of the sincerely unbelievable rumors surrounding that horn of hers, Cloudy Cradle had never been anything but entertained by her.
Well, she was a stage magician once, so I guess it stands to reason.
Cloudy Cradle laughed every time she thought of it. She could definitely see ‘The GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie’ up on stage, no doubt with blaring music and blinding pyrotechnics. Why she would give all of that up to become what is essentially a foalsitter in a small town was up in the air; Trixie never spoke about her past and Cloudy Cradle could respect a pony’s desire to keep it quiet.
“Besides,” she said aloud to the vague gray reflection of herself in the porch window, “If I have to wait, I might as well be waiting there.” She put her glasses on and patted her mane which she kept tied up in a bun. She drew a deep breath as she fixed her hair, and started on her way down the short path to the street. Hoofington was a small, quiet town, a fact which came with both its ups and downs. On one hoof it had none of the comforts of a large city like public transportation or a decent place to get a meal, and of course everypony knew everypony and their business which could get rather tiring. At the same time crime was nearly nonexistent; the worst she had seen was some graffiti smeared on the fence surrounding G&P, which meant the town also had a nearly nonexistent guard presence. All of that aside, the town had a certain charm to it. It was dull, but peaceful and calm.
CRASH!
Cloudy Cradle jogged up the driveway two houses down from hers to help the young colt who was struggling with a trash bag that was bigger than he was. The little guy, Clear Rivers, was one of Trixie’s students and the only one who wasn’t a unicorn. Since the school focused on teaching them basic unicorn magic there was little reason for an earth pony like him to attend, but Trixie was willing to accommodate him just so he’d have a place to be during the day. Cloudy Cradle didn’t know all the details but apparently the kid’s mom was pretty sick and spent most of her days bedridden. Admittedly, she had taken a bit of a shine to him.
An earth pony in a place full of unicorns without a parental figure. Hits too close to home.
The two got the bag to the curb and Clear Rivers spat dramatically, digging at his teeth to dislodge a ribbon of black plastic that had found a home between his teeth. “Thankths, Mth. Cradle,” he said with his tongue worming its way around his teeth.
“You bet,” she said, smirking as he finally freed himself from the annoyance wedged in his mouth. “So how’s your mom these days?”
His expression softened and his eyes glossed over with worry. “She’s… she’s fine,” he said sadly.
Cloudy Cradle lowered to the ground to meet him eye to eye. “Now now, don’t lie to Ms. Cradle.” He didn’t relent and she ruffled his hair. “Look. I happen to be very good at keeping secrets. If you want, I’ll never tell a soul. So go ahead. What’s on your mind?” He still didn’t speak up, but she had a pretty good idea what the issue was. Apparently his mom skipped her medicine some days simply because it was too expensive, and it was not doing her any favors.
Things are tough all over, I guess.
She thought for a moment and, completely on impulse, fished around in her pocket for the red gemstone she had found in Canterlot. She held it in front of his muzzle and his eyes widened at how it caught the morning sun and shimmered. “Here. Run inside and give this to your mom. It’s valuable.”
He beamed at her with a wide smile and an excited gasp. “You mean it?! You really mean it?! Tha—”
Cloudy Cradle tucked the gem in his mouth to shush him. “Don’t know why you’re thanking me, Clear. You found it in the street after hauling that trash out by yourself. That’s what you’ll tell your mom and anypony who asks.” With that she winked and gestured for him to run inside. “Deal?”
He nodded happily with the gem held tight in his lips and, as she had hoped, didn’t say another word and scampered back to his home. She stood for a moment and watched his house, unsure of how to feel about her little bonus vanishing just like that, but quickly shrugged it off. The sooner she got to G&P, the more time she’d have to catch up with Trixie.
The rest of her walk was uneventful in true Hoofington fashion. She caught a glimpse of Zipporwhill scaring the feathers off of another pegasus during her erratic trip about the town to deliver letters, passed a filly and colt having a mock swordfight with tree branches, and watched one of those odious royal guards get rebuked by the grocer after trying to get a little too friendly with him. Same old, same old. The overly dramatic sign to G&P loomed over the front gate: ‘THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE’S GREAT AND POWERFUL MAGICAL CRÈCHE’, and like every time Cloudy Cradle walked underneath it she had to stand for a moment and shake her head.
She’s a performer. It’s in her blood.
The building itself hardly lived up to the boisterous sign that advertised its name. It was a modest little building, probably once a house, which had been remodeled into a school. A white picket fence surrounded the small plot of land that it occupied, leaving enough room for a playground that was home to a swing set and a small jungle gym. Not much, but it was more than enough for the six or seven students who attended regularly. As she entered she heard Trixie’s voice discussing lesson plans with somepony and rolled her eyes. No doubt a new student arrived early; so much for catching up.
“…and I’m just worried she won’t learn the basics,” said a male voice.
“Trixie understands.”
“Especially with my new job at the paper,” continued the male voice, “and she doesn’t have many friends as it is. I think it’d be great if she were around some other unicorns her age.”
As Cloudy Cradle passed the classroom she caught a glimpse of the new student. A cute little thing with a cyan coat and orange hair, and a disheveled white pegasus for a father. Trixie glanced over and perked up, immediately excusing herself to join her friend.
“Cloudy!” she said in a near panic as she ran out into the hallway, “Trixie heard there was an incident in Canterlot and was so worried about you!”
“Urgh, those stupid guards!” whispered Cloudy Cradle in a quiet hiss.
“What happened?”
“Some little something-or-other in the palace, I think,” said Cloudy Cradle with a frustrated wave of her hoof, “The whole city was locked down! I mean, the least they could do is pay for my extra time at the hotel if they’re going to keep anypony from leaving!”
Trixie sighed and collapsed dramatically against the wall. “Trixie’s just glad it wasn’t more serious than that. When you didn’t come back when you were supposed to and when Trixie heard about everything that was happening—”
“It’s fine, Trix,” interrupted Cloudy Cradle as she gently patted her blue friend’s shoulder, “I just sat in my room and read. And I am done with travelling for a while. I’m going to stay here for a while and take it easy.”
Trixie nodded happily and gestured her muzzle in the direction of the room, wanting Cloudy Cradle to come and introduce herself. When the bookish gray pony simply shook her head Trixie nodded once more and headed back to the classroom. “So tell Trixie,” she said in a saccharin tone, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“An enviren-mentalist!” quipped a filly’s voice as it struggled to pronounce the word.
Cloudy Cradle chuckled and continued down the hall to the small room in the back. Probably a bedroom at one point, the room was now mostly empty and had nothing in it but a couch, bookshelf, and a small first-aid cabinet. Being an earth pony Cloudy Cradle was next to useless trying to teach even the most basic-level magic, so she would while away a lot of her day in this room mostly taking care of administrative duties while Trixie did her thing with the foals. Having a room full of rambunctious unicorns, and Clear Rivers, constantly trotting each and every way like little jumping beans kept Trixie’s hooves full throughout most of the day. That left Cloudy Cradle to run the errands and do whatever little things needed to be done out of sight, just like she preferred. The only thing she actually did with the kids was monitor them at recess and lunch, so Trixie could take a well-deserved break.
“Hello,” said an unfamiliar female voice.
Cloudy Cradle cried out in surprise and spun around; she was so busy lost in thought she hadn’t even realized somepony was leaning casually in the corner. It was a mare, and a rather large one at that. Not overweight, but muscular and easily the size of your average stallion. She wore a rather stern expression on her off-orange face, framed by freckled and underneath a two-toned pink mane. She didn’t look angry or mean, but she was clearly there on serious business. Cloudy Cradle steadied herself and gave the benefit of the doubt. “You scared me half to death!” she said innocently, “What are you doing in here? Are you the little unicorn’s mom?”
The mare said nothing and held up a badge. ‘Canterlot Criminal Investigation Department’ it read across the emblem of the royal family.
Great.
“You must be here about our little graffiti artist,” said Cloudy Cradle. “That was weeks ago, though. He… it died off recently and our fence has been safe ever since.”
“You know exactly why I’m here,” said the mare coldly, “Don’t play dumb with me.”
“I’m sorry, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”
The mare made an odd gesture. “Silver Spoon. Come on. I knew you and Diamond Tiara in Ponyville. We used to be real buddy-buddy for all of about a day. Even dressed up like a librarian, I recognize you.”
Like running out into a heavy torrent of freezing rain, the realization hit Cloudy Cradle with an almost painful shock. A flood of memories and the realization that it was Blank Flank’s chubby cousin standing in front of her nearly knocked her off her hooves. With that came an underlying feeling of dread; there was no point in keeping up the charade any longer. Her cover was blown, Cloudy Cradle was dead, time to move on. “Well. Babs Seed,” said Silver Spoon in a sly tone. “I guess it’s about time you louts figured my little trick out.”
Babs took a step to the left to halt Silver Spoon’s attempt to edge toward the door. “You ain’t as smart as you think you are, Spoon. You got sloppy.”
“Now who said I was smart?” said Silver Spoon as she smiled tauntingly. “Though I guess if you’re talking relatively… I mean, the guards hired you as an inspector. You don’t exactly strike me as Hoovard material.”
“Hah,” said Babs humorlessly. “Most criminals assume I ain’t smart. It ends bad for them. Every time.”
“Oh does it now?” said Silver Spoon as she discreetly adopted a ready stance. “I made that princess of yours sing opera. Made her squeal. You think you can handle me, even if you did grow to the size of a house?”
“Oh yes. Ain’t met the criminal yet I couldn’t clobber.”
“Well, you look the part. Not spending too much time with the stallions though, hm?”
Babs stared at her for a moment with a bemused scowl. “So where’d the crown go, Spoon? I might not bust all your bones if you tell me.”
“Hm. Gotta do better than that, Fifth-Wheel,” chuckled Silver Spoon, “The Wicked Witch offered me a way better deal in the caves and I still turned it down.”
“That offer expired on midnight. And enough erm, ‘pleasantries’. You know you ain’t gettin’ out of this one, Spoon.”
“Oh, no, I’m getting out of this one. All those foals’ll be due here any minute. You wouldn’t dare try something with all those equine shields and casualties in the making trotting around.”
“It’s not happening, Spoon.”
With that the door swung open and the pink little unicorn, Trixie’s newest student, happily trotted up to Silver Spoon. “Are you my new teacher?” she said eagerly.
“Well! Look what just happened!” said Silver Spoon with an evil grin as she scooped the kid up and held the little thing’s muzzle shut between her chin and hoof.
The fury on Babs Seed’s face, the telegraphed realization she had lost, was delicious. “Spoon,” she said angrily, “That’s low. Even for you.”
“Any port in a storm.” Silver Spoon looked down at the poor little thing’s terrified face and smiled kindly. “Sweetie?” she said as Cloudy Cradle, “Ask the nice inspector to lie down against the wall, face down.”
“Let her go, Spoon!” yelled Babs in a hint of desperation, “You ain’t gettin’ anywhere with her!”
The bluff was working like a charm. Time to hammer the point home. “So you’re gonna let me do this darling little filly?” said Silver Spoon in a cruel tone. “Don’t make me laugh. You know, I wouldn’t put it past those scumbag guards or airponies to let the kid die, but not you. You don’t have it in you. You don’t know how to do something you know will cost a life to accomplish.”
Babs Seed shuddered and took a step back. She turned to the side defensively, letting Silver Spoon spot a scar that was, although messy, clearly from surgery on her belly.
“Even better,” said Silver Spoon with an evil smile. “You’re a mother. I’d recognize a caesarean scar anywhere, even that messy. Imagine little Babs junior out there, in the cold grip of a criminal, dying in that grip because some two-bit inspector decided he or she was an appropriate price to pay to capture a bandit.” Silver Spoon paused to savor the sickened expression on Babs’ face. “Ooh does it… sicken you? Just thinking about it? Guess what? Her dad is outside. You’ll get the chance right away to look him right in the eyes and tell him his beautiful little daughter is gone and it’s all… your… fault.”
“Let me make myself bluntly clear,” said Babs in a calm fury, “You’re not going to get away with this one. I’m gonna bust your jaw, throw you in chains, and drag you all the way back to Canterlot.”
“Right,” said Silver Spoon flatly. The filly twitched in her hooves and she shushed her softly. “You’ll be fine, honey. Right, inspector?” She took a few steps toward the door and Babs made no attempt to follow her. “I’m sure I’ll be caught or killed eventually, but it won’t be here, won’t be now, and it won’t be by you.”
“How about all three?! Bright Eyes! NOW!!!”
The pink unicorn writhed and practically exploded in a bright green flash. In less than a second her, its legs thrashed and stretched, forming holes and turning dark like they had been burned away by the green fire that dissolved what was once an adorable little filly. The thing lunged at her head, at her face, with a loud hiss as it bared nightmarish fangs—
—and Silver Spoon barely had any time to react. She shoved the demon away and stumbled, and heavy hooves thundered toward her. There was no time to act; the full force of a punch right to her face wrenched her head to the side and sent her reeling into the wall. She collapsed and tried to stand but was thrown to the ground and her forelegs were wrenched behind her. She heard the deadly snap of hoofcuffs lock her limbs helplessly behind her and she knew her fate was sealed.
“We gotcha, you bag of snakes,” said Babs in a triumphant hiss followed by a horribly guttural cough.
“What is happening in— Cradle!!!” screamed Trixie as she entered but was held back by the white pegasus from earlier. He shoved a badge of his own in Trixie’s face as she stared in shock, and Silver Spoon could only stare back. They’d planned this from the start and she took the bait hook, line, and sinker.
Babs Seed looked over to the surprised blue unicorn. “Tracy—”
“Trixie!!!”
“Whatever. Meet Silver Spoon. Career criminal. Responsible for the entire brouhaha in Canterlot. It’d be quicker to tell you what she ain’t guilty of.”
“No! NO!” yelled Trixie, “It’s NOT true! Trixie knows you! Tell them they’re wrong! Cradle!!!”
Silver Spoon struggled to keep her gaze on Trixie, fighting to see through the blur and pain from the nasty haymaker she’d taken, and somehow managed a smile. “Sorry, Trix,” she mumbled in a pained slur, “they got my number. But hey it was kinda fun… while it lasted.”
Trixie was a statue, frozen in place with a look of horror on her face. She watched in silence as Silver Spoon was slung across Babs Seed’s back by the white pegasus who snapped a matching set of hoofcuffs across her rear legs for good measure.
“You have the right to remain silent, and blah blah blah,” said Babs in a smug tone. “Please do. I don’t give half a spit what you have to say.”
Silver Spoon just let herself drape lifelessly. It was over and she knew it.