//------------------------------// // Paging the Dentists // Story: Pound Cake, Pinkie Pie, and the Dentists // by bahatumay //------------------------------// Pound couldn't resist. He struggled as hard as he could but the dentists had caught him by surprise. They held him down and pressed a mask on his face. His head started pounding and his vision started to swim as the gas took over. There was a sickening, slushy thud. The mask fell off his face, and the dentist in front of Pound keeled over, the back of her skull caved in. Pinkie stood behind her, and dropped the manhole cover she'd used as a weapon. “No one touches him,” she hissed. Pound gasped as he realized that Pinkie's mane was flat again, so flat it was almost straight. His horror tripled when she realized that her mouth and face were all bloody. The dentists turned to face this new target. One raised her forceps, but Pinkie grabbed her wrist, dragged her forward, and slammed her head with a punishing headbutt. She fell to the ground and twitched twice before falling still. The second dentist came at her, drill raised. Pinkie blocked it with wrists crossed, and Pound barely had time to avert his eyes before Pinkie redirected the drill and it found purchase in the center of his skull. Pinkie sidestepped and ripped the mask off the third. While he scrambled to put it back on, Pinkie kicked the crowbar up into her hands and bashed the fourth in the nose, which darkened his mask as blood spurted out. She dropped it and slammed the fifth over the head with his own canister of laughing gas, hitting him right in the temple and sending him crashing to the ground. He did not rise again. The third had replaced his mask and he looked up just in time to see two pink hooves coming right at his face. Pinkie's donkey kick sent him flying, and he impacted the wall with a sickening thud, slid to the ground, and didn't move. The sixth, a pegasus, decided that this pink mare wasn't worth the trouble and took off. Pinkie hurled a pair of forceps at him, and they tagged him in the back, right between the wings. He shouted in pain and dropped, but managed to recover his height and continue on. Pound stared in shock, then jumped as a pink hand appeared in front of him. It was Pinkie. Her mane had returned to its normal, poofy self. She smiled a bloody smile, showing that she had all her teeth. “Come on,” she said. “Let's go home.” Pound looked over at the first dentists in the street, and realized that they were on the ground with blood pooling mostly around their necks. A cold pit settled in his stomach as he slowly put two and two together. Hesitantly, he turned back to Pinkie, then let himself be pulled to his hooves. Together they walked home, leaving behind the bodies of the dentists. * * * At the sound of the door opening, Mr. Cake looked up, and he dropped the tray of bread he was carrying. “Pinkie!” he shouted as the two bloodied warriors stumbled in. “What happened?” Pinkie shrugged. “I don't know; but here's Pound, safe and sound.” She walked through the kitchen and back into the bathroom, then gasped. “Aiii! It looks like my neck had a period!” “What happened?” Carrot hissed at Pound. Pound wasn't sure how to answer that. He certainly didn’t want to say what had really happened. After a pause, he finally said, “She saved my life,” and left it at that. Carrot pulled his son into a tight hug. “Please don't do anything else stupid,” he whispered. “Having one child in the hospital is bad enough.” Pound nodded. The problem is, 'stupid' is such a subjective term. * * * The next night, Pound Cake waited in the shadows again, this time making sure his back was to the wall and that he constantly watched behind himself. He'd been very certain that this time he would be ready for anything. Unfortunately, no dentists appeared. Not even when Pinkie started rubbing her cupcake on her face and moaning. Pound had to move the crowbar to his belt level in front of him. “It won't work,” Pinkie said suddenly, giving up and shoving the whole cupcake into her mouth. “'ey 'ow I' a 'hret.” “What?” Pinkie swallowed and started picking up the frosting trails left on her chest with a finger. “They know I'm a threat,” she translated. “They're not going to come out to face me anymore.” Pound threw his crowbar down. “Then what are we supposed to do?” he whined. “We're going to draw them out,” Pinkie said. “Do something so big, and so amazing, they'll have no choice but to act.” “Like what?” Pound asked. Pinkie thought for a moment. “When was the last time your mom made brownies?” Pound cocked his head. “What are brownies?” Pinkie looked aghast. Then her expression turned resolute. “Pound,” she said firmly, “we are gonna make brownies.”