//------------------------------// // The Chaos Capital... Again?!? // Story: The Last Keeper of Harmony // by Rammy //------------------------------// "...It's time, time that I come see you in person..." Spiked yawned heavily, stretched popping a few spines, and peered out to see Celestia's sun smiling back at him through the window. Wait!?!? Smiling? Spike did a double take before blinking hard a few times. Yep, smiling. He smugly added when he noticed the sun was now sticking out his tongue, or hers, or whatever. "DISCORD!!!!" There was no mistaking that voice even with the slight distortion that comes from using the Canterlot Royal Voice: Twilight. CRASH Spike sighed before opening his bedroom door steeling himself for whatever chaos would greet him on the other side. Books were flying about except not in a magic aura, usually magenta, but with little feathered wings. Twilight was clearly flustered as her mane in a mess and she sported small cuts all over. She was trying, frantically, to hold on to a book titled War Pony. Apparently the book didn't want to go down without a fight as it snapped open and shut. Suddenly a book fluttered by Spike a few of its feathers tickled his nose. “Achoo!” Green flames licked out of his open mouth posting the nearest book to Celestia. Opps. "SPIKE!!" Twilight yelled noticing the aftermath of Spike's sneeze. "Sorry, Twi. At least I posted it this time." Spike sheepishly replied. He growled in frustration as he attempted to snatch a book out of the air. They kept fluttering just out of his reach almost as if to mock him. He seriously thought of burning them. Twilight shook her head stifling a giggle, probably, at the dragon’s growing frustrations at being thwarted by flying books. "I know, but maybe it would be best if you try and not catch these... ow..." a book hit the back of her head then flew off, "books..." "But Twi." She knew that his whole self esteem was tied in his perceived usefulness but she also didn’t want him to have guilt from posting or Celestia fordid burning her precious books. "I know you want to help but as these books seems to take a pleasure in tickling... I don't think Celestia wants or should be trying to catch these enchanted books." Spike hung his head, a single tear dropping to the ground. He hated feeling useless and right now it appear he was useless to Twilight. He was her number one assistant after all and a number one assistant with nothing to do... She landed next to him and lifted his head to look into Spike's eyes. "Spike while I may not need your help I'm sure there is somepony in this chaos that will need your help. I highly doubt that Discord only enchanted just the library books." "Okay Twilight," He dejectedly turned to walk out into Ponyville proper. He had barely walked outside when he could feel and hear rumbling. He looked down to see some rocks bouncing on the ground. Slowly he looked back up. His eyes went wide when he saw what was coming down the lane. A herd of parasprites with legs was stampeding right towards him. Spike tripped over his tail trying to back up. He barely had time to get back on his feet when the parasprites ran by nearly knocking him over again. "Gosh darn it! Get back here y'varmints!" Applejack ran after the herd with a small dog barking beside her. "Hey Applejack!" Spike called out with a claw to the air. When he saw that Applejack hadn't heard him he drop his claw and head. Guess she didn’t hear me. "Heee. Hee. Hee. Whee!!!!" Spike snapped up to see Pinkie Pie bouncing in the wake of some odd looking low lying clouds raining what suspiciously looked like chocolate milk. I don't think I'll ever understand Pinkie Pie... If anypony besides Cheese understood Pinkie we'd all be in a world of hurt... Spike shook his head in amusement at Pinkie being Pinkie. "Hey, wait up for me!" Spike called out trying to catch up. His short legs, however, made it difficult to keep up. Suddenly both ponies disappeared in a flash. Uh.... okay… He scratched his head in confusion. He tried his best but nopony would to listen to him. He wasn't too mad about it as most ponies that he ran into were in either in a state of shock or too panicky to really notice. At a loss as to what else to do he decided to see if he could find Mayor Mare. At least she usually remained calm. Years of public service in a backwoods village that seemed to be a weirdness magnet would do that to a pony. The town square would be the most likely spot to look. When he got to the town square he noticed that the town hall was spinning in the air a brown earth mare hanging on to the building for dear life. Wings would be really helpful right about now. "Strike!... Oh wait, how do you strike with only 6 pins?" Called out a voice,an all too familiar. Once he move his gaze back to the ground he confirmed it was exactly who he thought it was: Discord. "DISCORD!" Spike roared. The roar sounded a bit off but he was too angry to make note of it. "Ah, Spike! Glad you could join me. Care to play?" Discord motioned his lion paw to the six ponies now transformed into bowling pins scattered about the town square. "Discord turn them back now!" Spike yelled, a puff of smoke escaping his nostrils. "Sure. Why not? No fun without 10 pins..." Discord shrugged. "Wait.. what?" Spike was not expecting that and dropped his accusatory claw in confusion. "I am reformed remember?" Discord snapped his tail to prove his point as the pony pins turned back into ponies. "Yeah... right..." Spike deadpanned, crossing his arms. "Really, I'm reformed now," A halo appeared above Discord to prove his point. "Says the self proclaimed 'spirit of chaos and disharmony.'" A thought occurred to Spike before he continued, "Why are you doing this anyway?" "It's just that I heard that you were troubled about your size or should I say lack of size." Spike ignored Discord’s invasion of his privacy but rolled his eyes none the less. He knew that there was more going on. There was always something else going on with Discord. "Discord get to the point." "Well you seem to think that you are always underhoof, weak, unable to help, useless..." He checked each off on a list that he had snapped in front of him. A pair of reading glasses perched precariously on the tip of his nose. Spike swiped his claws at Discord shredding the list. "Oooh looks like I struck a nerve." He took off his glasses and threw them behind him which promptly turned into a frog and croaked. Spike only response was to growl menacingly. "You're so cute when you growl. So baby like..." A baby bonnet appeared on Spike's a head along with a baby pacifier which hung limply around his neck. "Aww I just want to pinch your little checks," Sharp teeth snapped at Discord's outstretched claw. "Hey no need for violence... I'm only trying to help... as a friend" "A friend!?" Spike snapped. "A friend doesn't go about making ponies' lives miserable. A friend knows when pranks are going to far and this..." He pointed a claw around Ponyville, "...is too far. And I know that you know that this is too far. Have you not learn anything from the Tirek incursion when you betrayed not only all of Equestria but your friends, especially Fluttershy. Or when you didn't help during the third Changeling invasion? Rarity's wedding..." "I..." Spike eyed Discord something was off. Discord, for once in his life, was intently paying attention. This was very odd for Discord, to intently listen to any speech especially one like this one. Usually Discord would interrupt with some form of ‘Boooring’, but here he was thoughtfully pulling on his beard. He floated there for a minute before his realized that Spike had stopped speaking. "How interesting..." Discord commented, clearly to no one particular. "In... ter... res... ting!?!?" Spike chewed on each syllable trying to contain his confusion, never mind his rising anger. "Yes—interesting... but enough of about that,” Discord seemed to have snapped back to his usual self. "I do say, my boy, you have passed." He stamped a red A+ on Spike's head. "Passed?" The hatchling ignored his stinging head. "Boooooring..." A pillow popped next to Discord's head and he lazily laid his head on it fake snoring. "Discord..." Spike’s voice icly, a puff of smoke escaped his now clenched jaw. "Yes, Yes, fine, fine, you passed my little test." Discord held out his eagle claw examining it intently. Twilight screamed out, "Test!? A test! You did all this as a test?" "How odd... I do believe I'm having a strange sense of deja-vu." Discord tapped his face in fake bewilderment. "You should," Twilight stated as Spike calmed a bit. He noted that Twilight seemed to have the situation in hand, for the moment. Discord looked to be lost at her remark. "Gah! You don't remember the Tatzlwurm? Being stuck at Fluttershy's for a week without your ability to do chaos?" Discord merely shrugged, "Well... to be honest with you that was a test that I came up with. This one I did not." He pulled out a nail file from Twilight's ear and nonchalantly filed his claw. "You 'did not’?" Twilight almost looked like she was going to burst into flames. Discord causally pulled out camera which of course tipped Twilight into doing just that. "Ooo pretty fireworks!" He cooed taking a few pictures. The flashes blinded everypony. Twilight calmed down momentarily when Spike put his claws on her shoulder. He whispered into her ear, "I got this, Twi." He spoke louder so all could hear. "What do you mean you didn't come up with this 'test'?" "Oppsie, spoilers... well ladies..." Spike gave him a very sharp glare, "... and dragon. I have to go. It's been nice..." He turned to Fluttershy and whispering slightly too loud, "Oh and Flutters I will be there on the nose." "Arrivederci!" Nearby Discord balloons stuck their tongues out. With a snap of his tail Discord disappeared in a flash leaving a very confused group of ponies and dragon behind. On a hill overlooking Ponyville near the edge of the Everfree Forest a lone cloaked pony stood watching intently. A slight breeze rustled the leaves in the trees; a few birds chirp contently from the branches. The pony had been standing there watching Discord's chaos for sometime now. So intent in watching that even some of the birds had landed on the ground nearby, pecking at the ground. The sun, now without a smile, was low to the horizon when he finally stirred. He stretched a bit before he turned toward the ever darkening forest. He debated on whether to go ahead and leave before finally deciding on waiting a bit longer. "As always your brand of laughter always top notch," He suddenly spoke. "I'm too modest to boast," Discord answered popping from out of nowhere in front of the stallion. He eyed the remaining of his handy work for a moment with a slight odd frown on his face. "You? Modest? Really, Discord?" A silence passed before them for a few moments before Discord decided to end the, for him at least, awkward silence. "Is that enough H..." A rainbow magic aura clamped down on Discord’s mouth to stop him from speaking. "Shhh.... that would spoil the surprise." "But...bbbut you can't break the fourth wall," Discord blubbered, scratching his head. "Of course not, but I have been around you long enough know how to imitate it." For the third time in his long life Discord was completely taken aback his jaw, literally, hanging all the way to the ground. The stallion chuckled at this before he disappeared into the Everfree Forest. Soon Discord could only see darkness as Luna's moon rose into the sky. He stood in a daze for a long time before he shook his head, snapped a claw, and disappeared.