//------------------------------// // Seventeen, part B: Kindred Spirits // Story: Rain without Rainbows // by Leoshi //------------------------------// Rain without Rainbows Kindred Spirits Minutes crawled by in a dull roar. A steady supply of castle guards, who had taken the opportunity to rest, relieved those who protected the throne room in shifts. Eventually, a silent decision was reached to leave the damaged door open instead of fighting to close it each time. After all, none of the refugees of Ponyville nor citizens of Canterlot were actually encroaching on the room - they too were forced to break away for rest. The early morning continued on, convincing ponies of all caliber to sleep in whatever form of comfort they could find. Within the throne room itself, movement slowed. The princesses had run out of tasks to carry out, instead maintaining a cautious watch with their guardponies for any lingering power of Alucard. Pegasi still flew in and out as pairs, but the sense of urgency was depleted. In lieu of haste, they opted for persistence. The Bearers of Harmony did not share the mindset. They and their loved ones were just happy to be alive. Rarity sat with Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie, quietly talking about mundane matters to keep their minds off of the nightmare. Applejack and Apple Bloom were nearby, both lying still with their eyes open. Spike was curled up near them, doing enough sleeping for all three. Twilight Sparkle remained with Celestia and Luna, talking in hushed tones about the nightmare. But Rainbow Dash was alone. She remained by the window, silent and thoughtful, as the world kept moving. She had looked down and considered her Element of Harmony several times before finally removing the necklace altogether. It rested on the floor at her hooves, catching what little light came her way from lamps and the moon. ‘Is this really the end of it?’ Rainbow’s thoughts kept repeating. She could not shake the nagging feeling of uselessness, like there were still more tasks to carry out. She did not see Alucard die, and when she realized that, she wondered if that part of him was capable of death at all. Rainbow was by no means as well-read as Twilight, but she knew well enough that magic and life were still different things. If he was still alive, then it fell to her to stop him again. She had to, right? After all that had happened to her and her home, it wouldn’t be right to just let him enact whatever other plans he had. She felt a sense of duty to stand in his way. Rainbow shook her head. ‘No, no,’ she mentally chided, ‘that’s suicidal. The Alucard I know was just a part of him, The real him would be much stronger than anything I could prepare for. We barely beat him at all.’ Then it became the responsibility of that other stallion. Whoever he was, he had something in common with her - Alucard had bound to him. And even though she didn’t know the other victim, he had still promised to pick up where she left off. Besides, if it was his home under threat now, she had no right to step in. Whatever happened next was not her responsibility. She had done enough. But once again, a single thought caused her to doubt that. ‘Get up, and move forward.’ Rainbow Dash sighed, gingerly rubbing her bruised midsection. The phrase had given a drive to her reason, ultimately allowing her to stand up to Alucard at all. Spitfire had demanded that of her, and Rainbow could not be sure if she had done enough. The Wonderbolts were gone forever. Her lifelong dream had been taken from her, and simply beating Alucard back was hardly enough for the deaths he had caused. So what else could she do? There had to be something. “Attention, everypony!” Rainbow looked up. Across the throne room, Celestia and Luna were standing side-by-side. Neither seemed very strong, but Luna was speaking with authority. The moon regent looked over the room’s occupants, satisfied at the eyes looking back. “I want you all to bear witness. Consider this an official proclamation.” Luna waited a moment, then turned and focused her gaze directly on Rainbow Dash. The intensity of the stare caught her off-guard. “Rainbow Dash of Ponyville has indeed returned to us. Four years ago, she was lost to us in the wake of a disaster which claimed four cherished lives and disabled a fifth. She fled her home out of fear and confusion, all of which stemmed from the deaths of four Wonderbolts. In that matter, let it be known that I, Princess Luna of Equestria, do hereby absolve Rainbow Dash of that crime!” Rainbow couldn’t hold back a gasp. Had she heard right? “Recent events have proven that she bears no fault for the act,” Luna continued. “Furthermore, on behalf of those protected yesterday, I extend my heartfelt thanks to her and her incomparable friends, all of whom stepped in and halted the utter destruction of our land. The six of them have saved us!” To her side, Celestia looked down at Luna with a proud smile. It was clear that the elder sister had given away the right to speak, allowing Luna to behave like the Princess she was. “Over the last several days, my sister and I have been closely involved with these six friends. We all worked together to make this miracle possible, but it was the actions of these ponies that made the miracle happen. They have endured joy and hardship, and I am proud to say that I have learned from them. Let no ill will come to them, for they are heroes!” The room was suddenly loud with scattered applause. The stomps of hooves on stone carried through the hallways and caused the wrecked doors to shudder on their hinges. Some guards even resorted to cheering and whooping despite their fatigue. Luna and Celestia walked toward Rainbow Dash amid the noise. When she reached the pegasus, Luna extended a foreleg. “You’ve gone through more than most can imagine,” she said. “For all that you’ve suffered and everything you’ve stood to defend, I thank you.” “We could not have done this without you,” Celestia added. She bowed her head to Rainbow’s level. “The rest is up to us now.” Rainbow Dash hesitated, looking to the offered hoof and between the two sisters. She slowly lifted her foreleg in response, curling her hoof around Luna’s. They shook, Luna passing on her respect for the mare, Rainbow acting out of surprise. Luna gently pulled away and smiled. She and her elder sister turned and walked away, leaving Rainbow with the applause in the room. That, too, eventually died away, returning the air to a dull roar. Rainbow looked down at her hoof, then back to her Harmony artifact. Her first thought was a realization - everything had just changed. Not just the actions of the last several hours or few days, but every choice and action of her years away from home. Suddenly her panicked flight away from Ponyville was redeemed, and her apology to Spitfire felt more complete. The guilt she felt for her attempted suicide was heavier, while the memory of her loneliness during her hiding stung a little less. Her hatred for Alucard and all he had done burned hotter. But above all, it made her questions of whether or not to chase him grow louder. She wanted to stop him...but now she lacked a reason. She had been declared innocent. ‘They called me a hero.’ In that moment of thought, Rainbow’s mind went blank. Her entire drive for acting up to this point had been taken away from her in an announcement of gratitude. She had lived with guilt and shame for four years, but now it was gone. All that remained were memories, accomplishments, and regrets. She let out a sigh and closed her eyes. ‘This feels...light. Like a feather. What is this feeling called?’ “Right here’ll do.” Rainbow turned her head, seeing Applejack and Apple Bloom barely a yard away. The younger was helping her sister to rest against the wall, on the other end of the window Rainbow Dash had occupied. With a grunt, the elder sister landed on her rump and grimaced as pain shot up her injured leg. Apple Bloom looked up in a panic. “Easy, now, it’s okay,” Applejack reassured. “Ah’ll be fine in a minute.” Apple Bloom leaned in and nuzzled her sister. “You’d better be. No more flyin’ for ya, understand?” The elder mare gave a light laugh. “Ah’ve had my fill, little sis. Don’t you worry none.” Satisfied, Apple Bloom stifled a yawn and walked away. She and Sweetie Belle joined Spike, who had been awoken from the noise. The three of them laid next to each other, letting sleep wash over them one by one. Applejack gave a light sigh. “Y’know, she made me promise to tell her everythin’ that’s happened as payback for scarin’ her.” 'Regrets...' Rainbow Dash looked at her friend, giving the barest smirk. “Yeah, well, just try to make it sound happy.” “Heh. ‘Happy’ eh?” The farm mare gave the pegasus a sidelong glance. “That’s not you askin’ me to lie, now, is it?” “No, no. Just...I don’t know, leave out the parts where I tried to starve myself to death.” Applejack smiled, but the memory made her hesitate. “No can do. Ah gotta tell her, if only so she can hear about that delicious mushroom ya snacked on.” “I-ah...I’m sorry it wasn’t an apple, okay?” “Ah’ll forgive you later.” “And Applejack,” Rainbow continued, her voice dropping. “About...that. I don’t know if I’ve said it yet, but I am sorry.” After a second, the earth pony turned her head to look at her friend properly, genuinely confused. “What do ya mean, ‘about that’? You don’t mean this again, do you?” she asked, using her good foreleg to point to her bad one. Rainbow shook her head. “I mean about trying to kill myself,” she hissed. Applejack’s eyebrows shot up, and her mouth opened in surprise. “Oh, uh...” she managed, but no further. “I’m serious,” the pegasus went on, closing her eyes in guilt. “What I tried to do was wrong, and cowardly, and I only went with you because I knew it would be my only chance. I lied to you and Rarity, I betrayed both of you, and our friends walked in on it, and they were confused and hurt and...and I was hurting...I just didn’t know what to do, and I’m sorry. Damn it, I’m sorry!” Applejack didn’t reply, only giving her friend a gaze that spoke more than she could. “I just...need to tell you. I don’t even care if you can’t forgive me for that, I just needed to say it...I need to know you know.” Rainbow fell silent, biting her tongue before she completely fell apart. The two friends didn’t speak for a moment. Applejack tried to rein in her thoughts, deciding which one was what she actually wanted to say. Nothing seemed to work - she had, after all, felt terribly betrayed by what Rainbow Dash had done. Rarity had forgiven her in the last day, true, but Applejack wasn’t one to abandon her beliefs so quickly. It wasn’t that she needed reason. Applejack had plenty of reason to forgive. No, this required time. “Okay, so Ah was wrong about earlier,” she murmured, turning away. “Guess you do have somethin’ to be sorry for after all.” Rainbow didn’t reply, but she turned away as well. “Look,” Applejack began, “Ah won’t deny that what you did...er, tried to do, rather...it hurt me. After all the effort we went to in order to bring you home, and Luna going the extra mile to save you, and then you dump that on us? It just...” She trailed off, humming over words she couldn’t describe. “Ya know somethin’? It’s hard to not look back on all the years we spent in Ponyville. The good ol’ days, yeah?” The pegasus gave a stiff nod. “The good old days.” “We had a lot of fun. You, me, our friends, the whole town...each day was ripe for the pickin’. Ah don’t wanna forget all that, especially now that we got you here. Too many good things have happened durin’ that time. You remember the Running of the Leaves at the end of each fall? Ah’ve been doin’ enough running for us both. And wrappin’ up winter, and Pinkie’s parties, and helping Twilight with her over-the-top book-lovin’, and everythin’ else that really mattered. “So Ah don’t wanna forget that, right? But it’s also really hard not to see you lyin’ on the library floor, thin as a board and trembling like a school filly caught in a lie. It was bad enough seein’ you like that, but the truth was even worse. Rarity figured it out first...she told me about that magic again, how it was keepin’ you alive and all, and that what you were doin’ right there was dying in front of us. Well, she didn’t actually say that part, but it was enough.” Applejack paused, taking a breath. In the brief moment of silence, she spared a look at her friend. Rainbow kept her gaze down, unable or unwilling to witness her shame laid out in front of her. “Listen, Ah don’t blame you,” Applejack finally continued. “What happened to you is something none of us can appreciate. You went through it all, you were stuck in fear, you chose to try suicide...it’s all a big mess of stuff that Ah don’t know nothin’ about, so Ah ain’t got the right to blame you for anythin’. But it still hurts, what you did. And Ah reckon it’s gonna keep hurtin’ for a while yet.” Rainbow shook her head. “I never wanted to hurt anypony.” “Yeah, we know that much,” the farm mare replied with a grunt. “That, and that you’re scared of lightning now. Think you’ll ever get over that?” “What, are you serious? There’s no way I can go back to how I was.” At that, Applejack gave a quick nod. “A part of me feels the same way, ya know?” “What do you mean?” “It’s like...oh, how can Ah explain it...look, as much as Ah’m happy to see you alive an’ all, a part of me doesn’t want to let go of your lie. It’s that part that’s keeping me from actually forgiving you just yet. Maybe it’s a matter of time, and Ah hope that’s all it is, but Ah know that things can’t go back to how they were. Doesn’t matter how much Ah want it to.” Applejack hesitated again, looking down at her splint. “Sorta like these broken bones, really. Ah’m still wrappin’ mah head around this. Just a week ago, it was a sunny day, full of chores that needed doin’. But now, here Ah am, useless except for talkin’. And no amount of wishful thinkin’ or desperate forcin’ will make this better before its time.” Rainbow looked up at her friend again, also considering the broken limb. The sight made her insides turn. “Maybe that’s all Ah really need. Time to get better and be stronger for it... Ah s’pose it’s just me repeating what Ah said a moment ago.” The pegasus blinked. “What’s that?” To her surprise, Applejack smiled at her. “Ah’ll forgive you later. Right now just ain’t the time.” Rainbow Dash heaved a sigh of relief, returning the smile with one of her own. That was as good as she was going to get, and far more than she deserved. The lightweight feeling was stronger. “Now Ah got a question for you.” “Hm? What’s on your mind?” Applejack chuckled softly. “It’s your mind that’s worryin’ me. Are you just gonna look outside all day, or are ya actually gonna get up and get your head together sometime soon?” Rainbow blinked, looking between her friend and the window. Had she been so obvious? “Oh, uh...” she stammered, rubbing her foreleg in a sign of anxiety. “I don’t...I don’t want to scare anypony by suddenly leaving, and...” “Oh, stop it,” the farm mare interrupted. “Everypony needs a moment to themselves. You most of all...so much has happened to you. Nobody’ll blame you for wantin’ a few moments alone to get away from all this.” Applejack nodded toward the center of the room, indicating the collective damage and recovery. Rainbow Dash passed her gaze over the room once more, swallowing when she saw the departed. The option to leave was tempting, and she had considered it several times since she had stepped away, but it felt wrong to her. “I don’t know...” she muttered. “Rainbow,” her friend began, her tone that of a stern mother. “You’re doin’ yourself no favors by just swimming in doubts here. Ah can see how much you’re still hurtin’, and it’s hurtin’ the rest of us too. Your confusion, the anger, the sadness...it’s all there, plain as day. Now Ah’m telling you - get away from here for a while. Clear your head. And we’ll all have a great big dinner back home for ya tonight.” Rainbow was touched. In spite of all her mistakes, all her decisions and sins, she still had friends willing to take her back. Willing to accept her along with any flaws and consequences. Guilty or innocent, fugitive or hero, they wanted her back where she belonged. ‘Home, huh? I haven’t had one of those in a long time.’ Reaching a decision, Rainbow Dash nodded to her friend and looked up to the broken window. She collected her necklace of Loyalty, holding it in her hoof as she stood. “Looks like it’ll be a quiet morning,” she mused, spreading her wings to their full span. Her friend gave a smile, but didn’t reply. A moment later, there was a rush of air, the sound of flapping wings, and then Rainbow was gone. Part C coming as soon as I get it down. Sorry for the utter lack of timekeeping.