//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4 
// Story: Wedding Bells Bug Hunt 
// by Trinary 
//------------------------------//

Rainbow Dash was hard-pressed to remember a more unpleasant night. She spent the virtually the whole night awake and on-edge to be attacked, only for it to never come. Occasionally, despite herself, she would drift off for three or four minutes before rousing herself by remembering the supposedly imminent changeling threat.
 
Twilight of course, slept like a filly and woke up bright, cheery and perky with nothing worse than bedmane. Sometimes, I can really hate my friends, Dash darkly thought to herself.
 
“Everything okay, Rainbow?” Twilight asked as they sat down to breakfast. “Didn’t get enough sleep? I’m sorry if any of my ghost stories scared you--”
 
Dash rolled her bloodshot eyes. Twilight’s stories were about as scary as a half-eaten turnip. She had no sense of style or presentation. But since she couldn’t come out and tell Twilight that she thought she was a bug monster, Rainbow just grunted and dug a fork into her pancakes (which, she had to admit, were bucking delicious).
 
After breakfast, she and Twilight went their separate ways. Twilight went to do some organizational stuff or something, and Rainbow flew back to the castle. I need to talk to Princess Celestia. She’s gotta give me something more to work with… Dash landed on the balcony outside Celestia’s room, where she raised the sun from. She trotted in to see the Princess speaking to one of her aides, a white pony with brown hair in a high bun. After waiting patiently for all of two minutes, Rainbow cleared her throat to get her attention. “Uh, Celestia? I need to talk to you about—” she tilted her head to Raven “—the thing,” She finished, pleased with herself for being so circumspect.
 
“If you’ll excuse me, Raven…” Celestia flicked a wing toward Rainbow. After waiting for Raven to bow and back out of the room, the two met. “What is it?”
 
Rainbow coughed. “Well, I was wondering if you had any luck in finding the changelings lurking around. Not that I haven’t, of course, it’s just that—well, I wouldn’t mind if I had a better idea of where to look or something.”
 
Celestia nodded. “I understand. I know this is no easy task for you, but with the menace right on our doorstep, there are few whom I can still trust.” She looked worriedly out her window. “I decided to take a chance and sent a courier with a sealed message for Luna, asking her to return with her guards.”
 
“That’s great!” Dash sighed in relief. “So as soon as she gets here, she can find out who’s a changeling and who’s not?”
 
“I can only hope.” Celestia looked tired herself, rubbing at her eyes. “Forgive me. I fear my own efforts have been as draining as yours.”
 
Rainbow yawned, seeing Celestia tired made her feel even more tired too. “Yeah, I guess so. What do you want me to do?”
 
“It may take several days for Luna and her force to return. In the meantime, I want you to continue your own search for the changeling among your friends.”
 
Rainbow nodded. “Right.” Her face fell somewhat. “Are you absolutely sure that one of them is—”
 
“A changeling?” Celestia finished for her. “I am as certain as I can be. It would be inconceivable for Chrysalis to make a move against Canterlot without inserting an agent to monitor and neutralize the elements first. The six of you, together, are an unstoppable force. With even one of you out of the way…”
 
“I get it.” Rainbow sighed, rubbing her face. “I guess—I just really hoped you were wrong, you know? No offense.”
 
She soon found herself enveloped in a large white wing. “None taken,” Celestia gave her a gentle squeeze. “I witnessed a changeling infiltration once before. Their methods are … precise, methodical. Chrysalis, like many beings who live longer than ponies, tends to fall into a consistent pattern of conduct. The signs of a changeling infiltration, now that I know what to look for, are all around.”

“You saw it happen before?” Rainbow asked. “Where, what happened? How’d they get stopped?”

Celestia sighed and dipped her head. “It was not long after Luna’s banishment. A few decades, perhaps. They slowly encroached upon a series of border towns and outposts, replacing key figures: mayors, militia leaders, couriers and the like.” 

“Why not just replace everypony?” Dash wondered. “I mean, if there are enough of them to be a problem here and now, they must’ve been enough to take over some little village or whatever.”

“They did not replace everypony because there was no need to.” Celestia explained. “Remember, Changelings feed upon their victims love. If all of them were replaced there would be none left for them to feed on. And if they did replace every single pony in a village, what would that gain them? They would have to keep up the charade of normalcy, effectively draining a portion of their strength to make sure nopony came across the town and realized that its inhabitants were missing.” Celestia frowned. “Changelings are precise, methodical by nature. They commit precisely as many resources as they feel they need to a task and no more.”

Rainbow nodded faintly. “And these border towns? What happened?”

“Luck favored us. A single pony saw the changelings taking their victims to an abandoned mine. He fled across the desert, alerting the authorities of the first town he entered. Eventually, word reached my ears and a force was dispatched. The changelings were repulsed and the townsponies freed.”

“That’s good.” Rainbow let her shoulders slump a bit in relief. “We beat ‘em before, we can do it again.”

Celestia chuckled. “Well said.” However, her good mood didn’t last long. “Unfortunately, given our past experiences with them, as well as their predilection for inserting themselves into our defenses, I can only conclude that they have indeed infiltrated your friends. And it remains your job to find out who it is.”
 
 Rainbow gave a nod and saluted. “I won’t let you down!”




 
Intent on seeing her mission through, Rainbow Dash headed down to the castle kitchens where she knew Applejack would be. As she approached she spotted a number of ponies in the white aprons and hats that marked them as kitchen staff who were standing outside the kitchen doors, looking nervous or upset. Rainbow wondered what was Applejack busy cooking up.
 
“I’ll show you whose apples’re ‘overrated’ ya pompous, fingle-fangling, spud-loving jacakanape!” A series of crashes and clangs rang out.
 
Seems she’s cooking up a large order of trouble with some suspicious behavior on the side. Rainbow thought right before charging through the doors. What she burst in upon was about as nasty an argument as she’d ever seen, with Applejack squaring off against the head of the castle kitchens, Chef Ram—something or other. He was a blond pony with a beige coat. He had dual kitchen knives for a cutie mark and a tongue sharper than any utensil in Equestria.
 
Of course, Applejack had plenty of good ol’ down home country expressions that described the chef, his cooking and his mother in explicit detail. “HEY!” Rainbow Dash yelled at the top of her voice. “WHAT THE FEATHER IS GOING ON HERE?!”
 
The two started talking over one another, which helped Rainbow exactly none. “Whoa, whoa hold on!” She pointed at Applejack. “AJ, you first. What the hay?”
 
Applejack adjusted her hat, which had gotten off kilter during her argument and set about fixing her frazzled mane. “I was tryin’ to get to baking the cake when I found out this here sorry excuse for a kitchen didn’t have any Sweet Apple Acre apples left! And then he refused t’get any more and insulted my family’s livelihood!”
 
“We ran out because somepony,” the chef stressed “used them to make a bunch of low-brow, overrated snacks more suited for a family barbecue than the Grand bucking Galloping feathering Gala Royal Wedding!” He reached over and roughly grabbed a hoofull of what look like burned apple fritters. “What the buck is this! Look! Look! LOOK! What the buck is this?!” He threw them to the floor angrily. “I’m not going to turn the food for the important event in decades into cheap, low-brow hoedown fare just so a jumped-up hick farmer can try to milk the most out of it!”
 
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash glared at him. “Don’t insult her—”
 
Apparently Applejack was more offended by the characterization of her family’s cooking than the attack on her. “They ain’t low brow!” Applejack shot back. “Apple fritters are a time-honored family recipe! My fritters—
 
“--bring all the stallions to your yard?” Drawled the chef. “Your fritters were a marvel… overcooked on the bottom and undercooked on top. I’d rather serve dried out Diamond Dog vests!”
 
“Ah, shut it you fancy-shmancy ‘scuse for a fry cook!” AJ snapped back. “It’s not my fault you’re cooking gear ain’t up to snuff! The fritters kept slippin’ and sliding around!”
 
“You used a non-stick pan!” The chef exclaimed. “I don’t know what it means in Podunkville or wherever you’re from, but here—non-stick means non-stick!”
 
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Y’all don’t need twenty different kinds o’ pots and thirty different kinds of pans! Shoot, none of them even have any rust on ‘em!” The chef clasped his face in his hooves and swore. The cowpony rolled her eyes. “Any chance I can get some other chef in here?” She looked to Rainbow Dash. “My Granny could out cook you this fella with three hooves tied behind her back! All I need is some good Sweet Ap—”
 
“Ask for apples one more time—just one more time!” The chef exploded at her, drawing himself up and red in the face with fury. “And I’ll ram them up your fat rump! And as for your Granny, she’s a—” The blistering stream of expletives that followed horrified, astounded and impressed Rainbow Dash. She mentally tried to remember some of the juicier words for future use.
 
Applejack’s reaction was pretty predictable. “Why you son of a—” she charged at him, only to have Rainbow Dash get between them and hold her back.
 
“Ease off AJ! That’s just how he is!” She grunted as she pushed and forced Applejack out of the kitchen. “Come on, let’s talk.” After she was out of the kitchen, Applejack’s rage began to subside a bit as she put up less resistance to being escorted out. The kitchen staff, glowering at Applejack, began making their way back inside.
 
Dash led Applejack out into the castle gardens so they could have some privacy. Applejack sighed as she sat down in the shade, trying to cool off. “Sorry y’had to see that.”
 
“You want to tell me what that was all about?” Rainbow tilted her head. “Just because the guy doesn’t like your apples…”
 
Applejack groaned. “It ain’t just that—it’s a whole lotta things.”
 
Rainbow sat down next to her. “Like what else?”
 
“Like every little darn thing!” Applejack threw up her hooves. “It’s Pinkie bouncing around the kitchen demanding more cakes and cupcakes and other sugary-things before heading out to set up the reception, leaving me to handle everything else. It’s my apple pies disappearing off the windowsill when I leave them t’cool off, but mostly? It’s this gol-dang hoity-toity, frou-frou Canterlot way of doin’ every little stinkin’ thing! S’like Rarity at dinner last night, only worse.”
 
“What's bugging you?” Rainbow winced and wished she had phrased that differently. Crap. Remember, Rainbow: subtlety. That was un-subtle.
 
If Applejack noticed—or if she was the changeling—she gave no sign. “It’s just—I’ve never baked in a place like this, y’know? They’ve got more cooks and chefs in those kitchens than I got freckles, and all of ‘em think that cuz they got some fancy education from some fancy cooking school that they all know better than me.”
 
Despite feeling awkward, Rainbow felt she had to ask the obvious question. “Well, do they?”
 
“Pssht! No!” Applejack waved her hoof dismissively. “Well, I mean maybe—yes, but that’s not the point!”
 
Rainbow blinked. “Uh, it kinda is…I mean, these are their kitchens.”
 
“I know that but … ugh!” Applejack flopped back against the grass. “I want t’make the best food that I can—and that’s not made with a hundred different sauces and spices and whatnot. We never needed all this fancy stuff t’make us happy. A good homecooked meal s’more special than the best five-star restaurant in all of Equestria. T’ain’t nothing like making somethin’ for your kin and seein’ the light in their eyes as they dig in.” Her eyes unfocused as she sat back, watching something only she could see.
 
After leaving her to her memories for a bit, Rainbow Dash hazarded a guess. “You’re talking about your folks, aren’t you?”
 
Applejack couldn’t quite repress a wince. “Yeah, I guess so.” She tugged her hat down to try to hide her face a little. “My momma…there weren’t anything like one of her home cooked meals. She didn’t have a degree or nothing but just the smell of it from a mile away could make your mouth start t’water. Never saw her burn a dish or undercook a meal. Everything was perfect. Ya could taste the love an’ work she put into it, you know?”
 
Rainbow Dash didn’t think she was really being asked to comment and she was right. Applejack went on. “Anytime I felt sick or I felt down ‘bout somethin’—school work bein’ too hard, bein’ too young t’applebuck proper, or even feelin’ jealous that I was gonna have a new little sister—yeah, I was kinda worried that Apple Bloom was gonna replace me,” she added, watching Dash’s face as she started pressing Rainbow’s hoof towards the table. “I wasn’t the brightest filly out there. Not like you can really talk.” She nudged her. “Anyways, whenever I was down in the dumps, she’d whip me up something special, just for me. Ah learned how t’bake by watching her. So many of mah memories of her involve her in the kitchen, making meals for the families or little treats for me. Heh, I must’ve had a bigger appetite than Big Mac.” She shot a warning look at Rainbow Dash. “Say one word about calling me ‘Ampleflanks’ and I swear I’ll buck yer sorry kiester to the moon.”
 
Rainbow nodded faintly, holding up her hooves placatingly. “All right, all right.” She paused as she thought about just what to say. “I’m…I’m sorry about your folks.”
 
Applejack sighed and nodded back at her. “Thanks. It happened a long time ago but it never really goes away.” Rainbow tentatively reached around and rested a wing across Applejack’s shoulders. “Heh, fer all yer bluster about awesomeness, yer a real sweetheart, ain’t ya?” She chuckled as their hooves remained stalemated in the center.
  
“You tell anypony and I’ll kick your sorry rump to the sun.” Rainbow snarked. She looked around for a moment before spotting what she was searching for. “Hey,” she nudged Applejack. “Follow me.” Rainbow pointed to a small stone table. She got up and headed over to it, Applejack getting up to follow her.
 
The table was a chessboard with two seats on either side. Princess Celestia had occasionally tried to get Rainbow to think more strategically by teaching her how to play. Dash considered the chess pieces for a second, then swept them off with a wave of her hoof and sat down, her right foreleg outstretched and ready for hoof-wrestling.
 
Applejack cracked a smile as she sat down opposite her and got ready. “On three?”
 
“Three.” Rainbow nodded. “Two…”
 
Applejack licked her lips. “One…”
 
“GO!”
 
The two pressed and strained against each other, neither one making any headway. The familiar rush of competing against each other, brought a fierce grin to both of their faces. Rainbow grunted. “Feeling better?”
 
“Yeah. Thanks fer this, Rainbow.” Applejack answered, seeming a bit more composed now that she had something else to focus on. 

Dash gave a thin smile. “Look, I know I’m probably not the best pony to talk to about heavy, emotional stuff. But for what it’s worth, I think you’re a really cool pony. I mean, I just showed up in your trees one day, hungry and without any bits and the first thing you did was worry if I was fine and offering me a place to stay. Not a lot of ponies would do that for somepony they’d never met before.”
 
Applejack fidgeted sheepishly. “S’just how I was raised. Y’should be thanking my parents and the last ten generations of Apples.”
 
Rainbow shook her head. “I don’t think so. I mean, yeah your parents helped make you who you are but, they don’t define you. Just look at Rarity’s parents!” That won a snort out of Applejack. “So don’t go saying that everything awesome about you is just because of your family, cuz I don’t buy it. Besides, I don’t hang around you because I think your Granny is cool.”
 
“Nah, you just think my brother’s got a cute butt,” AJ quipped, which broke Rainbow’s focus and gave Applejack some much needed headway in their match.
 
Rainbow blushed and scowled at the comment and at her reversal of fortune. “Oh shut up. Here I am trying to be nice…”

The farmpony just chuckled. “Oh hesh, I’m just teasin’ ya. But thanks. It means a lot. Ah love Big Mac and Apple Bloom, but they don’t have what we have. You and me—we kinda spur each other on, don’t we? All them competitions and contests and whatnot. She inclined her head towards the table where their hoof-wrestling continued unabated. “Ain’t got many ponies I can do that with. I tried once with Rarity and—it didn’t go well.” She chuckled. “But you and me? We make each other wanna be better. So, I guess I’m saying…thanks fer being my friend.”
 
“Right back at you.” Rainbow nodded, focusing on the match as the momentum started to shift her way. “I think I get where you’re coming from and everything, but we’re not back at Sweet Apple Acres right now. We’re in Canterlot and this is a Royal Gala Wedding.”
 
Applejack was unperturbed. “You can take the filly offa the farm, but not the farm outta the filly. Sweet Apple Acres ain’t just a place—it’s a way of living, working and acting. I can’t just pretend t’be something different for the sake of someponies.” She managed to force Rainbow’s hoof back towards the center. “Remember, I tried that once as a filly—ran off to Manehattan t’get away from the farm and…and what happened to my parents.” She swallowed. “I was wrong then, and it’s wrong now. I gotta be me.”
 
Rainbow Dash felt like she was treading on shaky ground…which was why she usually preferred flying. “I guess, but … don’t the royal chefs and the guests have to be themselves too?”
 
“I was still chosen t'make the food fer the weddin'.”Applejack reminded her, pushing the advantage as Rainbow’s hoof was forced back. “I was, Rainbow, which usually means that I get t'call th'shots. Am I right or am I wrong?”
 
“Well, yeah, you’re right but I don’t think you can make enough food for an entire Gala Wedding by yourself, using the old fashioned Apple family way or whatever.” Rainbow grunted as she slowly started to force her hoof back up.
 
“Sure I can!” Applejack redoubled her efforts, sweat trickling down her face. “I've pitched in fer family reunion dinners before, so cookin' fer a large crowd ain' that hard t'figure out. It's just a matter of doin' some number-crunchin' fer a crowd this large.” She nodded determinedly.
 
Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash just looked at her as if she’d announced that she was going to solve Manehattan’s overcrowding problems by renting out her barn. “Um, okay. And what about making everything the Apple family way? You’re the only Apple here and you can’t make all the food yourself.” She fought Applejack’s hoof back up.
 
“Ya sound like those Flip Flop brothers, or whatever they called themselves.” Applejack snorted as their hooves ended up right back where they started. “Oh right, I didn’t mention them…well, apparently that Canterlot chef has at least one redeemin’ quality—he likes Apple family cider. I offered t’bring everythin’ I could but he said it wouldn’t be enough.” She snorted. “So he brought in this pair of conniving unicorn brothers who said they could make enough cider for th’ whole wedding if I used their fancy, magic-powered machine.”
 
“So what’s the problem?” Rainbow wondered as she slowly began to push Applejack’s hoof towards the table. “I mean, you have trouble making enough cider for Ponyville, and this is gonna be way bigger. So what's the big deal if you use these guys’ machine?”
 
“It ain't the right way!” Applejack stomped a hoof against the ground as she continued to lose ground. “Each mug o'cider's made with care, precision, hard work, an' more than a little love. Makin' it so…” she waved her hoof in the area as she thought of the right word, “…industrially just don' sit right. ‘Sides, them weasels want all the cider they produced t’be branded with their mugs on it, so everypony knows the cider was made with their machine—even though they’re making it with my apples!”
 
Rainbow flicked an ear, feeling a headache coming on. “AJ, relax. Remember where we are. There are going to be hundreds of ponies at the Gala Wedding--hundreds of high-class nobles and dignitaries and all that. You've got to remember that these are just sophisticated gentleponies. These are ponies of the parlors and salons. The upper crust of society. The elite. You know ... snobs.” That won an amused snort from Applejack, even as Rainbow continued to press her hoof back.
 
“Can’t you just make a deal where it says it’s made with your apples and their machine?” Dash asked, blinking away sweat. “You’re being a bit unreasonable here. Why's it so important that every piece of food be made your way, with your ingredients or whatever?”
 
“No, I ain’t being unreasonable!” Applejack clenched her hoof, making Rainbow wince in pain. “If they wanted frou-frou caterin' with course sizes they don't even pose a chokin' hazard, they'd've hired a frou-frou caterin' service! But they asked me! I’m here, an' I intend t'show them food snobs like that Ramsey feller what they've been missin' out on with th' best ol' country food they ain't never laid eyes on before. And I ain’t gonna compromise that by using some darn fool machine or listen t’ a bunch of cooks with a bunch o’ degrees but no heart!”
 
Dash groaned. Normally she would’ve won the hoof-wrestle by now and her muscles were really starting to ache. She was really starting to feel the sleep she’d missed out on. “But, you won't have enough. Don't you think you're overestimating your abilities? Maybe I could help you out in the kitchen or something? I mean, I’ve got the Rainboom down pretty solid, so--”

“You callin' me a slacker?” Applejack demanded as she pressed harder.
 
Rainbow winced.  “What? No, I'm just saying—”
 
“Then I reckon yer callin’ me a liar then!” The orange earth pony stood up and threw all her bodyweight behind her forelimb, slamming Rainbow’s foreleg onto the table. Dash let out a pained yelp. Surprised and off-balance, Rainbow was knocked out of her sat and sent tumbling onto the ground, holding her forelimb in pain. Applejack lowered her hat, completely hiding her face. “I’m telling you I can handle this myself and don’t you try t’tell me that I can’t! I don’t need yer help or anypony elses!” She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Look, RD, I ain't tryin' t'be rude, but d'yew got anythin' pressin' t'deal with? I got a lot t'do, an' a lotta lunkheads t'watch an' make sure they do it right. See ya later.”
 
Rainbow trembled slightly as adrenaline coursed through her. “Yeah…sure. No problem.” Her voiced rang thick and hollow. Applejack just turned around and stormed off without another word, leaving Dash on the ground, clutching her foreleg. She couldn’t believe it. Applejack had just completely lost her cool and hurt her and then just...left without apologizing or offering to help. Hay, she didn’t even check to see if she was okay! Just as bad as that, Rainbow realized, Applejack stared the truth in the face…and just ran away from it.
  
That wasn’t the Applejack she knew. That wasn’t the Applejack who she’d met that day in Ponyville after she flew off from Canterlot.
 
Something was very wrong.
 
So, now what?