//------------------------------//
// Chapter 2 
// Story: The Quandary of DisQord 
// by Kane Magus 
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	I first spied her in the statue gallery of the royal gardens. Ironic, that. She could hardly have been more than a foal, not much more than perhaps twenty Equestrian years old at the time. She was barely out of diapers, in other words. That's not just an expression, by the way. Were you aware that Equestrian ponies actually do put diapers on their infants? It's true, and not just a little disgusting. I'm so glad that we Q never have to bother ourselves with such vile biological processes, at least when we're not in mortal forms, anyway. Where was I? Oh, right, barely out of diapers. Alicorns mature rather quickly in their early years, however, and so her current state of development was probably the rough equivalent to that of a human with the same number of years of development, plus or minus a few years or so. After this stage, however, Alicorn development slowed to a relatively geological pace, at least physically, anyway. They were an incredibly long-lived species. In fact, were it not for accidents and… er… "accidents"… I would dare say that they were effectively immortal.
She was a pure white Alicorn, with a mane colored with the pink of a morning sun and a tail to match. The mark on her flank was that of a blazing sun. Forgive me if I don't go into the intricacies of cutie marks, as they are called. For now, it's enough to understand that it is a mark that a young pony receives as he or she matures that reflects their true calling in life. It's all very meaningful and symbolic and whatnot.
Suffice it to say that she was indeed a very lovely creature, even then, and she only became more so as the millennia progressed. Her mane would come to be a multicolored pastel work of art, but even back then, in its purely pink state, it was still a marvel to behold. However, as breathtaking as she was, it wasn't her physical beauty that had me truly spellbound. She was an amazingly wise and kind creature, even in the bud of her life as she was then, but she wasn't averse to letting her mane down and having a bit of fun now and again. Though she was not yet ruling the land herself, I knew that she would one day make an excellent leader of her people.
After watching her for a year or two, I finally decided to make myself known to her. She was once again trotting along and viewing the various pony statues that littered the garden, as she tended to do at least two or three times a week. I was in a mischievous mood, so as a bit of a prank, I swooped down along the path she was taking and transformed myself into a statue, my right hand on my stomach and my left one extended upward, my mouth open as though in the midst of a rousing speech or a song. Or a scream.
When she finally reached me, she let out a small gasp of surprise. "That's unusual," she said, studying me closely. "Is this a new one? I don't think I've ever seen this one before."
"That's because I've never been here before," I said, winking down at her.
"Oh my," she said, and took a few surprised steps backward.
With the signature burst of light and sound of the Q, I returned to my non-statue form and floated down off of the pillar. This startled her so much that she tried to back away some more but tripped and fell backward onto her hindquarters. I found it to be absolutely adorable, despite myself. "No need to be alarmed, my dear," I said, with a chuckle. "I apologize if my boorish prank has unnecessarily frightened you."
"W-who are you? What are you?" she said, slowly returning to her feet. She still looked unsure as to whether she should remain in my presence or take flight.
I pondered quickly and decided that I did not want to make my true identity as a member of the Q Continuum known to the beings of this world, so I concocted a new identity for myself on the spot. I bowed deeply and said, "You may call me… Discord." I'm not at all sure what possessed me to choose a name like that. It's just the first thing that came to mind, so that's what I said. The rather fitting nature of that name, given what came later, was completely lost on me at the time, despite my non-linear nature.
"Discord?" she said, the edges of her mouth angling downward the slightest bit. "That's a rather… unusual name."
"I know what you're thinking," I said, and now I had to come up with a reason for why I had such a potentially disagreeable name, "and I fully understand. I know that ponykind tends to choose names that befit a given pony's station in life. Let's just say that my… parents… on the other hand, have a rather unique idea of what constitutes a proper name for a child. Meaningless fancy. Completely random. And thus, they chose Discord to be my name. It could just as easily have been something equally ridiculous, like Puddinghead or some such. Even so, I have grown rather fond of the moniker myself. I just like the sound of it, if not the meaning, and so I have decided to keep it. As for what I am… I am what you would call a draconequus."
She tilted her head, and decided not to press the name issue any further. "A… dragon pony? I'm afraid that I've never heard of such a creature. And, pardon me, but you do appear to have more than merely draconic and equine features."
"I am unique," I said with a flourish, bowing again. "There's only one like me in all of Equestria. Well, aside from the parents I just mentioned, obviously, but, um, they don't live in Equestria itself, so I guess that means I'm still one of a kind here! By the way, my dear, how may I have the pleasure of addressing you?"
"Oh," she said, suddenly mindful of the fact that she hadn't introduced herself yet. "C-celestia. Princess Celestia," she hastened to add.
"What an astoundingly apropos name indeed for such a celestial creature as yourself," I said, turning my charm up to full blast. I was rewarded when a blush spread across her face, visible even through her pure white fur, and she averted her eyes briefly, the previous slight frown being replaced with a soft smile. "Ah, and you're a princess, too! I should have known. So I suppose that means this wonderful place must belong to you?" I continued, making a sweeping gesture around the statue gallery, the garden beyond, and of course the large palace itself.
"I suppose you could say that," said Celestia. "More appropriately, I suppose I should say that it belongs to my father, the king."
"Well, again, my dear lady, I must apologize for my rude manner a moment ago," I said, taking one of her forelegs in my hands and bending over low while bringing her hoof to my lips. "If I had known you were of royal blood, I would have dispensed with my usual loutish buffoonery and introduced myself to you directly." I was lying again, of course. I had long known she was of royal blood, as all Alicorns now were. I'm not sure what possessed me to keep piling on lie after lie… I suppose it was simply in my nature. The people of Brax don't call me the "God of Lies" completely without merit, you know. But these, at least, were harmless white lies.
Celestia's blush deepened. "Oh, I d-didn't mind, really. It was just a bit unexpected, that's all, though not entirely unamusing in retrospect, I can admit. I'm not averse to the occasional harmless prank myself, as my sister Luna could surely tell you. It's just that I thought I was completely alone here. Very few other ponies visit the statue gallery at this time of the evening, which is precisely why I choose to come here myself. It was just a bit of a shock to find somepony else here, especially one as… unusual as you. Oh, I'm sorry, I don't mean to offend you."
"None taken, my dear. None at all," I said, kissing her hoof again and then releasing it and allowing it to drop back to the ground. Celestia's face was almost entirely pink by this point, roughly the same color as her mane. "It's true. I am a rather unusual being."
"You say you don't originally hail from Equestria?" she asked, after a moment. "Where did you come from? What is it like there? I have so many questions."
"Well that, my dear, is indeed a very fantastic tale," I said, warming up to spin an incredible but harmless work of fiction, as I felt that the truth of the Q Continuum would have been infinitely beyond even her ability to understand.
Before I could begin, however, from off in the distance, a voice reached us from somewhere within the nearby hedge maze. "Hey! Hey, Tia! Is that you I hear talking over there? Where are you?"
"Luna? I'm in the statue gallery," said Celestia.
A short few seconds later, a younger Alicorn, perhaps between sixteen to eighteen Equestrian years old, with dark purple fur and a shimmering mane and tail the color of the nighttime sky made her way out of the maze and over to Celestia. Her cutie mark was that of a white crescent moon, overlaying an inky black midnight sky. She couldn't have looked more different from the other Alicorn standing before me, but it was instantly clear that the two were indeed sisters, even so. She was almost as beautiful as Celestia, though her beauty was of a different, perhaps darker nature.
"I was idling about in the hedge maze and I heard you talking, so I thought-" She stopped in her tracks when she saw me. She looked at her sister briefly and noted the rosy color in her cheeks before returning her eyes to me.
Celestia looked from me to her sister and then said, "Forgive my manners. Luna, this is Discord, who I just met a few moments ago. Discord, this is my younger sister, Princess Luna."
"I am charmed to make your acquaintance, dear Princess Luna," I said, bowing deeply to her. Something told me that attempting to kiss her hoof as I had Celestia's would be a bad idea, however, so I refrained from doing so.
Luna, in return, said nothing. She continued to stare at me and slowly made her way over to where Celestia and I were standing. Or, in my case, floating. When she reached us, she looked me up and down, as though carefully studying a frog she was preparing to dissect.
"What is the matter with you, Luna?" said Celestia. "Don't be so rude."
"What is this creature, Celestia?" said Luna cautiously, not taking her eyes off of me for a moment. "Where did it come from?"
"He is standing right there, Luna. You can ask him yourself," said Celestia, the red in her face starting to change to that of embarrassment and a bit of anger.
"It's quite all right, my dear Celestia," I said. "I understand that my appearance is probably a bit… frightening."
"I have no reason to fear you," said Luna, a bit coldly.
I narrowed my eyes imperceptibly. 'Oh but you do, my dear, if you keep trying my patience like this.' I thought, but didn't voice. Instead, I said, "Of course you don't. I mean you absolutely no harm, after all. To answer your question, I am merely what you would call a draconequus."
"A dragon pony?" said Luna. "I have never even heard of such a creature."
"That is because I am unique among my kind," I said, not bothering with the whole "parents" thing this time.
"And what kind of name is Discord, anyway?" said Luna. "I'm sorry, but that sounds like the name of some sort of obvious two-bit villain to me."
"Luna! What has gotten into you?" said Celestia sharply. "Mind your tongue!"
Luna didn't respond, never once taking her eyes off of me.
After a moment or two of awkward silence while she merely stared at me, I cleared my throat. "I am terribly sorry. I don't mean to cause a commotion here. If my presence is a nuisance then I shall take my leave of you. I don't wish to come between the two of you. Celestia, I bid you adieu. Luna, it was… nice to meet you."
"Wait! Discord, you're not a nuisance at all. My sister is just-" cried Celestia, but before she could say anything more, and to the shock of Luna and the dismay of Celestia, I disappeared with my customary burst of light and sound. I even put a little bit of extra oomph into it that time, since it was the first time Luna had seen it. However, I didn't actually go anywhere. I merely cloaked my presence from their senses.
Celestia wheeled on Luna. "Little sister, how dare you! What were you thinking?"
"What was I thinking?" said Luna, her cold manner dissolving into a hot anger now that she thought the two of them were alone. "I was thinking that there is suddenly some sort of strange creature that neither one of us has ever seen before, who has somehow gotten into the very center of the royal palace grounds without alerting any of the guards, and who has, from my perspective, possibly put some sort of spell over my own sister! Especially a creature that looks like that thing did and which has such an obviously foreboding name as Discord, of all things! What were you thinking, big sister?"
Celestia was taken aback by this. "I can't believe that you would jump to such outlandish conclusions. Haven't you learned that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover? If you had taken five seconds to just stop and listen to him, you would have found him to be a perfectly charming individual."
"That's what I'm afraid of, especially after seeing how he was affecting you there," said Luna. "Look at you, you're still beet red, even now!"
"I can assure you that I am perfectly in my right mind. If I am red in the face, it is because of mortification due to your behavior," retorted Celestia.
Luna snorted. "My behavior. Sometimes I feel like I am the older sister between us. What do you know about this creature? Truly, sister, tell me. If you can convince me that he is not a danger, then I will admit my error and welcome him with open hooves."
Celestia shook her head. "Why don't you convince me that he is a danger!"
"I believe I've already made my case for that. Seriously, Tia, what do you know about this creature?" said Luna, not backing down.
Celestia said nothing for a moment, then frowned and lowered her head slightly.
"That's what I thought," said Luna. "I'm going to go tell mother and father about this at once." Luna made as if to go around her sister and enter the palace, but Celestia moved to the side and planted herself in her sister's path.
"You will do no such thing, Luna!" said Celestia. "I won't have you raising an alarm over nothing at all."
"Nothing at all?" snapped back Luna. "We clearly have an intruder in our midst that can teleport around at will! How is this not a potential threat that should be made known to our parents?"
"Lu, please," said Celestia, her voice softening a bit, "just listen to me. Yes, it is true that I don't know very much about him yet, but the brief conversation I did have with him before you arrived was a very pleasant one. If he were truly a threat to us, given that he is able to teleport at will as we both clearly saw, he probably could have harmed me before I was even aware of his presence. Assuming he hasn't been offended to the point of never returning because of you, I wouldn't mind getting to know him better. And as I said, no, I don't believe for a moment that he was… coercing me in any way whatsoever. Obviously, I have no way to prove that to you, but I hope that you'll just trust me when I say that it is so."
Luna said nothing for a moment, then shook her head. "Okay, fine. Have it your way, as usual. Against my better judgment, I won't say anything about this to mother or father. Yet. But if I see the first sign that this creature is a threat, I will go straight to them."
It was Celestia's turn to pause for a moment. Then she sighed and said, "Fair enough. But I will prove to you that he means us no harm." She looked at the space where I had occupied (and still did occupy, though they didn't know it) and I could see that her eyes were glistening, on the verge of tears. She turned back to Luna and said, "Again, assuming he ever comes back, of course."
Luna averted her eyes for a moment, then looked straight into Celestia's own. "Look… sis. I… I apologize. Maybe… maybe I was a bit hasty. If it means this much to you, I will… try to make an effort to get to know him better… if he comes back. Maybe you're right, and I should give him the benefit of the doubt."
Celestia smiled. "Thank you, little sister. That's all I ask."
Luna looked down and shuffled one of her front hooves for a bit, then looked back up at her sister. "I'll try, Tia. But I'll still be keeping an eye on him. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have lessons with father in a few minutes. Again, I won't say a word about this." With that, Luna gave a slight curtsey to her sister and headed for the door to the inside of the palace.



"Hahahahahaha," said Q, slowly clapping his hands. "That Luna had you pegged right from the start!"
"She most certainly did not!" I said.
"Q, she was absolutely 100% right about you! In fact, I bet you did put a hex on her poor sister," said Q.
"I did no such thing!" I said, genuinely angry at this. "You think I can't convince another sapient being to find me charming and witty without resorting to petty trickery or something as gauche as mind control?"
Q raised an eyebrow.
"It's true, damn it all! I swear on my honor as a member of the Q Continuum that I did not unduly coerce her against her will in any way whatsoever."
"You know, that doesn't mean too awfully much, coming from you," Q retorted.
"Be that as it may, it is still the truth!" I insisted. "At that point in time, she did indeed genuinely like me, and did so for a long time to come. That's part of the reason I found her so fascinating. And you have to understand that, even then, I could tell that she possessed a wisdom that was far beyond her years, as I already said. Most creatures to which I make my presence known are either incredibly afraid of me or incredibly envious of me. Take Luna, for instance. She was both."
"What possible reason could she have had to be envious of you?" said Q.
"Well, aside from my charming manner and outstanding good looks, I think she considered me a threat," I said. "And I don't mean in the obvious sense. I mean, I believe that she considered me a threat to her relationship with her sister. Like she knew, even then, that Celestia would start spending a lot more time with me that she had used to spend with her sister. I believe that's why she was always so standoffish and rude to me on the very few occasions that she tried to hang out with us later."
"Sounds to me like she was just cautious of you," said Q, "and rightfully so, given what you eventually did to all of them. I don't see how you can even pretend to deny it! She had locked onto you like the phaser array on this fine ship here and burned right through you!"
I stared daggers at my fellow Q. "I'll have you know that none of the things that came later were even glimmers in my mind at that point, even taking my non-linearity into account. Besides, I… I was perfectly justified in my later actions."
"Are you &~%|(!*^$`+#ing kidding me?" said Q incredulously. Q, as a general rule, doesn't swear often, but when he does… watch out. And that was a particularly vile one, learned from somewhere in the Triangulum Galaxy, if memory serves.
"Well," I said, backpedalling a bit. "I certainly felt like I was perfectly justified at the time."
"Q, there is several universes worth of difference between actually being justified in your actions and merely thinking you are justified in your actions," said Q.
"Don't you think I know that?" I said. "But still, we're both Q! Who has the right to tell us if our actions are justified or not besides ourselves!"
"You just said it yourself. Our fellow Q have the right!" said Q. "And in your case, I and the rest of the Continuum most certainly did not think your behavior was justified. You were acting like a spoiled human toddler in the midst of one humdinger of a tantrum who had somehow gotten its hands on a quantum torpedo! &~%|(!*^$`+# it, Q, you were even worse than Trelane!"
This stung me to the core. "Worse than… Trelane…?"
"Yes, worse than Trelane," said Q. "And at least Trelane had the excuse of actually being a small child to mitigate his actions. Actions which, I might add, were nowhere near in scale to what the humans would call 'asshattery' as what you got yourself into. What was your excuse, huh?"
"She hurt me, Q," I said, defensively. "She turned away from me. She hated me. You just can't know how much that tormented me."
"Only after you all but destroyed her," said Q. "What she did to you, if you can even consider her as actually doing anything to you at all aside from getting righteously pissed off, was but a fraction of a Plank's volume of quantum foam in the ocean of darkness between galaxies compared to what you did."
I merely hung my head at this. "You're absolutely right, of course. If I could make it up to her, I…" I trailed off. How could I? Her parents. Her people. Even now, when things were back to normal again… Q was indeed absolutely right. What nerve did I have to be angry at all, especially at her? None whatsoever, that was what. Confound it all. I put my human head in my human hands. I wasn't about to cry, but if a Q could cry, I was as close as one could get at that moment.
Q softened his tone. "I know what you did. All of us know what you did. What we don't know is why. I mean… I can probably guess, but I don't want to do that. I want to hear it straight from you."
"Damn you, Q," I muttered.
"Damn me all you want," he said. "And then tell me the rest of your story."