The first thing Jonathan Tinker remembered when he came to was the sensation of being outside in the open. A soft babbling of a creek was the first noise he heard, closely followed by the chirping of birds and what he was sure was the very distant sound of wolves howling. Wherever he was, it sure as hell wasn't his apartment. He rolled over onto his back. I'm lying on grass, he remarked to himself. He opened his eyes and saw nothing but darkness.
He tried to remember what he had done that had brought him here (Where was I last? Where am I now?) when a flood of memories bombarded him with such intensity that for a moment he felt it was actually happening.
The gun… The insulin… His Anna…
Oh, God…
He grabbed his head as a roaring pain filled his mind. Every memory from his apartment brought more pain than the last and he knew if this lasted it would drive him mad.
Finally the memories ceased and the pain along with them, leaving Jonathan a quivering wreck on the ground. When the quivers subsided and the last remnants of the pain were gone, Jonathan sat up, his back protesting. It was not fun being in your 40s. You got tired more easily and you got hurt more easily as well. It was chilly enough to make him shiver slightly. That was another thing about getting older - you weren't as resilient as you were in your youth.
Jonathan's eyes adjusted to the dark. The faint outline of trees began to reveal themselves. He stood up and staggered over to one of them. He could smell the fresh odor of pine sap. Is this the afterlife? Jonathan wondered to himself. If it is, then is this Heaven, or Hell? Or do Heaven and Hell exist? He remembered the memories and the pain moments ago and for a moment he was convinced this was Hell but he was too disoriented to think clearly. As far as he knew this could have been Valhalla. All he knew for sure was that he was dead. No one man could take that much insulin and live, he was sure of that. He looked around and tried to gain his bearings. This entire place, what little he could see of it, was completely unfamiliar to him. But in an eerie way it wasn’t…
Jonathan sat down with his back leaning against the tree and was surprised by how smooth and soft the bark was. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. It would be better to wait for morning before he did anything else. Pure exhaustion couldn’t make Jonathan sleep. It was too damn cold. He still had on what he was wearing in his apartment: A pair of black cargo pants, the kind you saw the SWAT team wear, a pair of size 12 tall, leather boots and a dark blue T-shirt. A warm breeze drifted by that stopped Jonathan's shivers momentarily. He dozed fitfully until the sun began to rise. The rays of light quickly grew in intensity. It seemed quicker than any sunrise he could remember. He rubbed his eyes and slowly opened them.
What Jonathan saw next confused the hell out of him. He closed his eyes again, hoping everything would return to normal.
It didn't. When Jonathan opened his eyes again, everything, the trees, the clouds, the birds, everything, was a cartoon. Even in this shadowed, thick forest he could see that his surroundings were brightly colored and lacked texture. Everything was simply shaped, even cute. Jonathan scoffed at himself. Rocks and trees, cute... He almost laughed. Looking down at his shaking hands he realized that he too, was a cartoon. His whole body started to shake and tighten as his mind spun circles in confusion. Jonathan stood up and walked towards the sun. Instincts told him he had to keep moving while he thought about what exactly had happened. When his predicament fully sunk in he lifted his face to the sky and screamed, “God damn it!” He screamed again and again and collapsed on the ground, pounding his fist on the grass until he wore himself out. When he finally started walking again he didn't care where he went, he just had to get somewhere.
After a few hours of following what looked like game trails, Jonathan wondered if he was going in circles through the dense forest. He came across the ruins of a house. The walls were barely standing. The roof had completely collapsed and was now a rotting heap of beams and thatch. Not knowing what else to do, Jonathan decided to take a look inside. Among the dust and rotting wood there were only three things - a burlap bag, a frying pan and a large double bladed axe. He put the frying pan in the bag with some dry sticks for kindling. Jonathan didn't know what this cartoon world had in store for him, but what he did know was that fortune favors the one who is prepared. The axe needed sharpening in the worst way. In the corner of the room he found a fist-sized rock. It wasn't the best for sharpening an axe. He'd much rather use a file or at least a Whetstone, but since he was deprived of both he would have to make do.
This place looks so familiar, Jonathan thought. He couldn't shake that feeling, he knew this place, but where had he seen it? The axe was just starting to get an edge when a scream of terror pierced the still air. It was definitely a woman’s scream. Jonathan dropped the rock and ran out of the building towards the screaming, axe in hand. He ran as fast as he could, his legs like liquid springs. The further he ran the louder the screams were. He ran and ducked between trees until he reached a small clearing. What he saw took him completely by surprise. A yellow… pony with wings and a pink mane and tail? Was being chased by a giant lizard? Jonathan didn't know why he so quickly assumed the animal was a pony. It didn't look much like a pony with its oversized head, saucer-size eyes and short snout. He looked again. I know you… Then the realization of where he was hit him. My God, I’m--
The screaming of the pony snapped Jonathan back to reality. This reality, anyway. The lizard had her trapped against a cliff. She didn't try to fly away. Instead she curled up into a ball and whimpered in fear. Jonathan turned around to leave. He didn’t know what else he could do. Jonathan hadn’t felt this overwhelmed since he was in his apartment. With his heart beating between his ears and a sudden dizziness threatening to make him collapse, Jonathan closed his eyes and prayed to wake up from this. This was all too much for him to handle. As he took a step back into the woods something stopped him. An oath he had made to himself as a young man, the reason he joined the Marines. Defended those who cannot defend themselves. The words screamed at him, taking over any sense of doubt, confusion and fear until Jonathan did the only thing he could. He gave a war cry and charged the lizard, with all of his anger focused into one destructive desire.
The yell got its attention and the lizard faced Jonathan and roared. Jonathan was nearly on top of the beast now. Raising the axe he brought it down with his huge strength upon the nose of the pick-up truck sized lizard. The axe didn't cut through the scales, but Jonathan felt bones and cartilage give way underneath. The beast roared in pain and tried to back away as Jonathan savagely hit him again, this time in the jaw. The lizard, now desperate, quickly turned around and with its tail hit Jonathan full in the chest, flinging him several feet in the air. The axe disappeared into a bush. Jonathan landed hard, the back of his head hitting the ground before the rest of his body. Dazed, he stumbled to his feet and staggered in front of the pony, who was now watching in horrified amazement. He knew that without a weapon of some kind he would be next to defenseless against such an imposing adversary. I'll throw rocks at it if I have to, Jonathan thought. But the lizard, who was now sporting a crushed nose and a few broken teeth, stomped back into the forest. Only when the beast’s yelps of pain grew dim did Jonathan let out a sigh of relief. With shaking legs, Jonathan turned around and looked at the pony who was still frozen in fear. “Are you alright?” Jonathan asked.
“Ye-yes I-I am.” The pony said, still quivering.
“Good,” He breathed before he passed out.
Jonathan regained consciousness what only felt like seconds later. He couldn't open his eyes, so he listened instead. It was very quiet, much quieter then the forest. There was a strange ping-ping noise coming from his right. That sound was so familiar, but he just couldn't place it. He realized that he must've been some kind of hospital. Do ponies have hospitals? Jonathan wondered. The door opened and Jonathan heard two people (or ponies?) enter the room. Then what sounded like an enormous boom vibrated through the room as something metal hit the floor. To Jonathan is sounded like an explosion. Immediately he was back in the Gulf. He tried to reach for a gun or a knife, anything, but his hands wouldn't move. He wanted to jump to his feet but it was as if his body was dead.
“Nurse, please do be careful.” An older man said.
“Sorry, Doctor,” The nurse replied. She had a very pretty voice and Jonathan could help but wonder what she might look like.
“Who is our new patient?” The doctor asked.
“Jonathan Tinker. Forty-two years of age, ex-Marine and in a coma. His next door neighbor called the police to file a noise complaint. When the police arrived he was laying on his couch with a syringe and an empty vile of insulin on the floor.” The nurse said, uninterested.
“Is he a diabetic?” The doctor asked.
The nurse flipped a page, “No he isn't, so what does that mean? Attempted suicide?”
“That's the only conclusion I can come to,” The doctor said sorrowfully. They talked for a little while longer about Jonathan’s condition before leaving. Jonathan laid there stunned by what he just heard. No one could have survived that much insulin, no one! he tried to convince himself. For what felt like hours Jonathan laid restlessly in his hospital bed with only the ping-ping machine as company. Finally the beat of the pings rocked him to sleep.