Tenebrae

by Pearple Prose


Dea Noctis

Archdruid Twilight Sparkle remembered when she couldn’t dance, or at least not as gracefully as she could now, balanced on two hooves as she was. She had been an ignorant pony in her youth, really. She loved her books, she always had, but back then she’d never bothered to peek over the pages and see the stars and think to herself: this world is beautiful.

That was a different time, and a different Twilight Sparkle.

It was a quiet ceremony – there was no loud cheering and applause or vast orchestra. There were only the soft, lilting melodies of a harp, the occasional beat of a drum, and the mare at the centre of it all, twirling and pirouetting, the light dancing across her silken dress and sparkling on silver shoes.

It was an age-old tradition – as old as Twilight and older still, dating back all the way to the beginning of the Before Times, when the Night Mare Herself danced in celebration of the longest night. From then on, the most pious and worthy of ponies would perform the sacred dance and – as legend said – be kissed and cradled by Luna in Her great indigo wings.

And so, on that night, when the ponies of Ponyville would gather in a circle at the centre of the town and sit quietly in anticipation, Twilight Sparkle in all her robes and sacred vestments would step forth and dance.

She heard the song reaching its end. She twirled one last time, lit her horn, and tossed her head back. Her horn sparked and crackled with energy as Twilight focused her mind. The purple light brightened and brightened until it became blinding, until, finally, it shot from her horn into the night sky, just as the drum beat one, final time.

And, again, Twilight felt two wings curl around her barrel and stroke her along her back, and two lips kiss her softly on the back of her neck. Twilight melted to the ground and bowed her head. Awed gasps echoed throughout the audience, quickly hushed.

The spark hung there, amongst the countless other stars in the infinite, and the ponies below bowed low and whispered softly to themselves as they spoke their wishes. The sensation faded away along with another little piece of Twilight’s soul.

Twilight rose and watched the stars twinkle and let her smile curdle into a frown. She heard the whispered words of the ponies around her – "Cure my illness,” said one; “Help my family,” spoke another – and she couldn’t help but remember her own wish, from so long ago.

Twilight didn’t want much. She had her friends, and she had her faith. But, really, there was always that small, dark pit of doubt in her chest. For years, she had dedicated her life to the Moon Goddess in particular, but not once had she ever caught a glimpse of the being that bent the night to Her whims.

She didn’t feel particularly angry about that fact. Just a vague sense of abandonment that made her lie awake and stare at the ceiling on lonely nights.

“I just want to see You again.”

Twilight’s eyes widened and she clamped a hoof over her mouth. She hadn’t meant to say it. Oh dear Luna, she hadn’t. Who did she think she was? Who was she to demand such things of a goddess? Of Her, of all beings?

But she couldn’t help it. For over a decade, she had been touched by her god and for over a decade she had cried quietly in the night at the loss.

“So you want to meet Me, do you?”

It was a soft and echoing voice that rang like silver bells that made Twilight’s heart quake. Her head snapped up and she looked around for the source, but only saw the backs of excited ponies as they dispersed back to their homes. Not one looked back at her.

Twilight looked up and whispered, in a trembling voice, “H-Hello?”

“Your Holiness!”

Twilight jumped in shock and turned quickly to see Acolyte Trixie cantering towards her. “Your Holiness, that was beautiful!” Trixie’s eyes were wide and sparkling with excitement. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a display in all my years!”

“Trixie…” Twilight fought the disappointment out of her tone and said again, “Trixie! Did you hear that?”

Trixie, still smiling, twitched her ears and tilted her head. “Hear? Hear what?”

Twilight clapped Trixie on the shoulders with her hooves. “A voice! I heard a voice! I think it was–” Suddenly, Twilight realised exactly what she was saying and doing, and abruptly let go of the confused acolyte and breathed out slowly.

“A voice?” Trixie suddenly gasped. “Wait, did you hear Her speak? That’s–”

“No.” Twilight rubbed at her temples. “Sorry, I just heard someone familiar.”

“Oh.” Trixie raised a brow at the grimace on Twilight’s face. “Are you alright, Your Holiness? You’re acting quite… odd.”

“I think I’m just tired.” Twilight smiled at her friend, who accepted the answer without a word. She hadn’t known Trixie for long, all things considered – until somewhat recently, Trixie had been an arrogant troublemaker in Ponyville, performing cruel magic tricks on the locals. Twilight had been the one to show her the beauty of Celestia’s and Luna’s teachings, and now Trixie was perhaps even more dedicated to Them than Twilight had been.

“Shall we go return to the church then, Your Holiness?” Trixie asked, already walking away.

“No, actually, I think I’ll stay behind and, uh…” Twilight swallowed. “Watch the stars.”

Trixie blinked. “Oh, okay.” She smiled. “May the stars light your path,” she said, bowing once before walking away.

Twilight watched her leave, then laid down on the grass, stretching her sore legs and curling her ritual garb around herself. She picked out the lavender light of her latest star, and looked at the rest of the yet-unfinished constellation it was part of. All across the night sky, the constellations of other towns and cities burned brightly. To the east, the Crown of Canterlot dwarfed the relatively tiny one that Ponyville had built over its short lifespan.

Twilight looked back at her hometown – the lights in the houses winked out one-by-one as Luna’s followers went to sleep. Ponyville was always a predominantly sun-worshipping town, given its agricultural heritage, but Luna’s faithful were still prevalent here as they were in other settlements in Equestria.

A cool breeze swept over Twilight’s coat, and she shivered until a warm wing settled across her back. Twilight sighed and breathed a word of thanks before she seized up in shock.

“You never answered my question,” came that silver-bell voice, ringing softly with laughter. Twilight turned her head and looked at the resplendent being that sat at her side companionably, watching the sky with her. The being turned Her head and looked at Twilight, head tilted questioningly. “Did you wish to meet Me, fair Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight couldn’t speak. She nodded her head slowly and widened her eyes as if to take in as much of the goddess before her as possible.

Luna giggled. It made Twilight’s soul sing. “Excellent! ‘Twould be my pleasure.”

And Her horn glowed softly, and Twilight felt the world shift and then disappear into blackness.


Twilight awoke to a world of light.

Waves of luminescence ebbed and flowed and curled around her. She hung there, floating and drifting through the sea of starlight, eyes still blinking blearily as the blanket of sleep slipped away.

She said nothing. She thought nothing. She felt nothing, save for a comforting warmth that spread throughout her body.

Twilight reached out instinctively with her hooves, and was panicked for a moment when she couldn’t feel solid ground beneath her. As if it had felt her distress, the magical plane flexed and shifted, and, slowly, solidified. Shapes popped out of the background as if a fog had been lifted, revealing a beautiful midnight garden.

Twilight floated down to the grassy soil that had materialised beneath her hooves and stumbled upon landing. The astral world she had glimpsed was nowhere to be seen, now – as she stood and looked about her in awe, all Twilight could see was the shadowed trees and glowing moonflowers and a bright and burning sky full of stars.

She felt wrong, walking here, in this paradise. She didn’t feel like she belonged there. She felt too clumsy, too filthy, unworthy. Her steps fell like mallets upon the soft and loamy earth, her jaw hung slack and her tattered dress clung to her barrel like a wet blanket.

The trees fell back on either side as she walked uncertainly through the garden and into a small clearing, where a magnificent dais sat in the moonlight.

And from atop the dais, the Night Goddess turned Her head and looked directly at Twilight, and blessed her with a smile.

“Welcome, Twilight Sparkle,” she said. Her voice rippled through the garden and made Twilight’s heart stop for a fraction of a second.

Twilight bowed low, eyes shut, muzzle brushing the ground. She licked her dry lips and said, “I… I am not worthy, O Goddess.”

“Oh, nonsense.” Twilight felt her limbs push her back to a standing position of their own accord. “If I didn’t deem you worthy, I would not have brought you to my garden, would I?” It was a soft, chiding tone, like a mother would use with a misbehaving foal.

And in the end, isn’t that exactly what Twilight was, then and there? She knew nothing, had done nothing, was nothing in comparison to the beautiful being that sat there and looked at her with that mischievous smile that made the night itself shine a little brighter.

Twilight took a step and was paralysed with indecision. Did she allow her to come closer? Did she expect her to? No, no, no, she should maintain her distance as a sign of respect – she would never be allowed to come close to Her now, would she? Or maybe–

“Are you alright, My little pony?”

Twilight’s eyes shot up and saw the frown creasing that flawless brow and she immediately burst out a short “Nothing!” before realising that she had just interrupted the Night Mare, of all ponies.

Twilight heard Luna laugh to herself and she allowed herself to relax as the beautiful sound soothed her tormented mind. One hoof in the front of the other.

She felt Her eyes on her as she walked forward with her head pointed down at the grass at her hooves. She could feel the divine judgement burning into the back of her neck. She reached the edge of the dais and hesitated, before settling down in the grass, leaning against the stone with her eyes averted.

She heard Luna shift on the dais above her. “Are you sure you’re comfortable down there, Twilight Sparkle?”  

“Do not be concerned for me, O Goddess. I would never choose to disrespect you.”

“Well, yes, but…”

Twilight yelped as she was lifted into the air by an aura of blue magic and dropped softly on the dais besides the Night Mare, who studied her with a tilt of her head. “I do believe it shall be rather difficult to converse like that.”

Twilight immediately looked away, a blush colouring her cheeks and her skin itching beneath that teal gaze. “As you wish, O Goddess.”

Twilight felt a silver-shod hoof gently touch her cheek and turn her head slowly back towards that perfect face. Two glowing eyes stared into her own and peeled away her mortal shell and looked into her soul.

“Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said, “did you wish to speak with Me, or not?”

Twilight choked on air. She reflexively twisted her head away from Her hoof, as if it were a knife held at her throat. “B-But… I… Yes, but…” She swallowed and looked at the frowning Night Goddess by her side. “But, why me? There must have been so many others who wished to meet You.”

Luna shifted and draped a wing over Twilight’s withers. Twilight let out a soft squeak. “Truly? Yes. Every year, thousands of ponies across Equestria wish to meet Me, though not nearly as many as those who wish for more traditional things – food, safety, money, among others.” Luna turned back to her and beamed. “As for why you in particular… Well, you are, perhaps, the only one I personally wanted to speak to in the flesh. You have earned it, my dear.”

Twilight froze, eyes wide and staring listlessly. She wanted to speak with just her?

Am I what she was expecting? Am I behaving properly? What if she’s disappointed? Oh Gods help me…

Then Luna’s words sank in, and Twilight frowned thoughtfully.

“But… you are going to speak to the others who wished for you, right?”

Luna jolted, and looked at Twilight as if she’d grown a second head. “I… No. Why would I do that?”

“Well, they wished for you. You wouldn’t just ignore that, would you?” Twilight felt sick just speaking the words that leapt out of her mouth, but curiosity drove her onwards regardless.

Luna shook her head. “I don’t think you’ve grasped the scale of the wishes I receive.” Luna looked to the night sky overhead, and her eyes shone a brilliant white. “Right now, ponies from all over Equestria, thousands, millions, are demanding that I repair their homes, give them food, give them the meaning of life, find their true love, bestow world peace, heal the sick, and slay their enemies.” Her eyes returned to their usual teal, and she looked back at Twilight. “And that is just scratching the surface, Twilight Sparkle. How many of those ponies truly deserve the gift of my powers?”

“Well, you would know. You know everything. You’re a goddess.”

“Yes. And if I told you that none of them are worthy, Twilight Sparkle, how would you react?”

Twilight balked. “What? But… But that can’t be true.”

“Unfortunately, it is.” Luna looked at her pityingly. “Did you honestly believe that I would answer the prayers of so many ponies? Such reckless abuse of my power would utterly destroy the careful balance of the world.”

“I…” Twilight hung her head. Her eyes flickered back and forth across the stone of the dais below her. “I still don’t understand why you chose to grant my wish if you knew… all of this.” Twilight’s eyes pleaded with Luna for an answer, a direction, anything. “Why?”

“I granted your wish, Twilight, because I know of the doubts that torment you every night. I know of the pain that twists your dreams.” Luna moved closer to Twilight and wrapped Her hooves around her. “I have a very important request of you. It is not a simple one.”

Twilight blushed fiercely. Luna’s astral mane shifted and curled around her, brushing against her coat like cool nighttime air. “Anything, O Goddess.”

“Abandon your faith to me, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna whispered in her ear.


Luna knew it was a lost cause even before Twilight pushed her away and stared at her with wide eyes of disbelief. Briefly, the urge to simply reach into that fragile, mortal mind of hers and fix the problem directly surfaced, but Luna quashed the temptation before it even began.

“Abandon… my faith?” Twilight repeated. She looked so very delicate just then, Luna thought.

“Yes.” Luna gave her a pointed glance. “I told you it would not be simple.”

“I don’t understand.”

Luna shook her head. “That doesn’t matter. I am telling you to abandon your faith to me, Twilight. That is the beginning and the ending of this discussion.”

“You can’t just… tell me to do that!” Twilight’s voice rose. “Why should I give up my faith? What does that even mean?

Luna frowned. “Can’t you see how this zeal of yours shackles you? Are you truly so blind?”

Twilight drew back as if she’d been stung. Her ears clasped to her skull and she looked away. “I… I’m sorry. I just d-don’t understand. Why are you asking this of me, O Goddess?”

Luna’s mane whipped and lashed like a stormy sea as her frown twisted into a scowl. “The reasons are irrelevant to this matter. We, Luna, Goddess of the Moon and Mare of the Night, command thee, Twilight Sparkle, to give up your service to Us.” Luna stepped forward, and Twilight shrank back. “Will you?”

Luna watched Twilight as her eyes flickered back and forth, lost in thought. She felt a hint of regret sit in her gut like a ball of iron. It wasn’t Twilight’s fault, after all. It was nopony’s fault. But Luna had had enough. She was too far gone now to care.

Twilight swallowed and looked back up at Luna with a calm resolve in her eyes. “No.”

An old, familiar rage crashed against the walls of Luna’s self-control, and she ground her teeth and roared, “Why?!

Twilight flinched, but didn’t falter. “Because I swore myself to you. For years, I’ve danced for you and felt you kiss me and hold me and I would do it for a hundred years more, if it was what you desired.” Twilight bowed low, muzzle brushing against the dais. “I love you, O Goddess, and I shall always be your loyal servant.”

Luna stared down at Twilight for a long, long moment. Twilight didn’t twitch once. She didn’t look up at her. Her eyes was closed and her face was peaceful.

Luna snorted, smashed her hoof into the dais, and turned away and fought to control her breathing. Wild emotion tore through her body. She stood there and breathed in, out, in, out, until the paradoxical urges to both cuddle and smite Twilight from the face of the planet died down enough for her to continue.

“You’re such a fool.” Luna turned to face the still-kneeling pony. “Do you understand how meaningless those words are to me?”

Twilight flinched and looked at Luna fearfully. “Wh-what? I don’t under–”

“You understand nothing.” With a wave of her hoof, a window opened in the air beside them. Luna turned and looked towards the distant image of Ponyville, nestled as it was in Canterlot Valley.

“Tell me, Twilight,” Luna said, “why are you so eager to declare yourself my servant, of all things?”

Twilight hesitated, but when Luna looked at her expectantly, she spoke, “Because you and your sister are our saviors. You banished the devil of Discord from our world and brought us together in harmony. Your sister brings forth the day and You keep the monsters of the night at bay. You alone guided me in my time of need and showed me how to love the world and see its beauty.” Twilight bowed her head. “You are our gods, and I am unworthy of being anything more than a servant to you.”

Luna nodded, slowly. “I see. And these ponies here?” Luna gestured towards the image of Ponyville. “Are they just as inferior as you are, then? Just servants to my every whim?”

Twilight faltered again. “Y-yes.”

Luna sneered. “And all of Equestria?”

“That too.”

“So, if that is the case…” Luna’s horn burned a blinding white. The sky above Ponyville began to darken and shift ominously. The clouds twisted into an enormous vortex, with flashes of lightning from within. “Then what is to stop me from doing this?

Twilight’s eyes widened, and she leapt to her hooves. “What are you doing?”

Lightning struck, slicing through the air and just barely skirting the edge of the tiny town. A rumble of thunder followed soon after.

Twilight jolted forward. “No! Stop!”

Luna shot her an icy glare. Shadow crawled across her coat and magic poured from her horn. “Did you just order me, Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight froze. “N-No! I–”

“You remember your own words, don’t you?” Luna loomed over the trembling Twilight Sparkle. “You and the rest of Equestria mean nothing to me. I can do whatever I please, and you can do nothing but sit and do as I desire.”

Twilight’s heart skipped a beat. “B-But–”

“Do you see now how pathetic your faith is to me? I am a goddess. I do not need nor want any ‘servants’.” Luna’s coat was black as pitch as she stirred the storm like a stew with her hoof. “You say you love me. I doubt that very much. I’d call that fear. And if that is true, then is there any being that truly loves one such as I?” Luna deliberately looked away as she spoke. “I am a goddess. I am alone on the pedestal I and others have constructed for myself.”

“What about your sister?” Twilight pleaded.

Luna barked out a harsh laugh. “Celestia? She does naught but sit and watch the world go by, feeding upon the love and adoration of the millions of ponies that play in Her sunlight. We are sisters in history only.”

Twilight sat, and said nothing. What else was there to do? She was just a pony. A pony who had only ever wanted to serve her goddess, and had ended up driving her over the edge. Luna was a goddess, a force of nature, all-powerful.

Twilight looked at the Night Mare. No, there nothing that she could do to a being like that. Power practically flowed in Her veins.

Although…

Twilight looked closer, and realised that Luna’s cheeks were wet with tears.

And then it all clicked.

Luna watched the massive storm seethe and rumble and spew rain on the town beneath it. “Do you finally understand now, Twilight Sparkle?” she asked.

There was silence in the midnight garden, save for the distant rumbling of Luna’s storm. “I think I do, actually.” Slowly, Twilight rose to her hooves, and walked to Luna’s side.

“Luna. Stop.”

The single word made Luna seize up in surprise. “What?”

“I’m asking – no, I’m telling you to stop doing this. Right now.”

Luna snarled. “What on earth are you doing? You’re just a servant, as you said.”

Twilight just shook her head slowly. “No. I believed myself to be your servant, yes. But you don’t want an inferior, do you? You just want somebody to bring you down from your pedestal.” Twilight wrapped her hooves around Luna and held her tight. “So I’m asking you to stop. As a friend. Please?”

Luna didn’t say a word. She frowned softly as Twilight’s words sank into her mind. “A... friend?” she asked.

Twilight nodded. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” She sighed. “I never wanted any of this to happen. I never wanted you to feel this way. I just wanted to make you happy.” Twilight looked at Luna with a small smile. “I can leave you alone if you want me to.”

Luna remained silent for another long, long moment. Eventually, Twilight let go of her and turned to step off the dais, only to be stopped by a silver hoof on her shoulder.

“No, I… I’d like you to stay. If that’s okay with you.”

For the first time in a long time, Luna didn’t know what to do. For a long, long time, she had watched and she had existed and she had suffered in silence. All of a sudden, that all seemed so very, very meaningless.

Twilight smiled. It was a genuine smile, and Luna felt humbled just seeing it.

“Okay, Luna.”


The day was just beginning as Luna materialised in the Aether. She stretched her formless wings and yawned and trotted across a bridge of stars towards her sister, who was sat drinking tea from a golden cup.

“Good morning, Sister,” said Luna. She glided across and sat opposite Celestia. “How are you?”

Celestia was silent for a long moment as she watched her sun rise through the Aether below them. “I’m fine.” Celestia turned away and smiled at Luna. “But how I feel is unimportant. How was your night, Luna?”

Luna allowed herself a small smile. “It was… eye-opening, to say the least.”

Celestia let out a short laugh. “I do believe you might be putting that quite lightly.” The smile slipped from her face. “Although, I’m not entirely sure you realise exactly what you’re doing.”

Luna let out a long, low sigh. “How much did you watch?”

“Enough.”

Luna swallowed. “Even when we…?”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “I do sometimes respect my sister’s privacy, you know. What you got up to with that mortal ‘friend’ of yours is none of my business.” She lifted the teapot with her hooves as she spoke, holding it with a certain delicate reverence as she refilled her cup. “In any case, I am becoming increasingly nervous that this little fling of yours will end in tears. I don’t think you’re ready to experience the kind of pain that I felt in my own… affairs.”

Luna narrowed her eyes. “This is not a ‘fling’, Celestia. I am not a child.”

Celestia paused looked at her for a long moment, then shook her head and smiled sadly. “No, I suppose you aren’t.” She set her teapot back on the table. “So, tell me about this Twilight Sparkle pony. You certainly seem to be quite taken with her.”

“There isn’t much to say. She is a loyal follower of the night, perhaps the most dedicated I’d ever seen. Or, well, she used to be – truthfully, I do not know what she is to me.”

Celestia chuckled. “Interesting. Reminds me somewhat of my own Sunset Shimmer. Although, she can be rather too…” She shifted in her seat and grimaced slightly. “Overzealous in her methods.”

Luna hummed looked off into the distance and sighed. “Twilight called us friends, once, but I think we may have already passed that point. Maybe. It is all very confusing to me.” She looked down and tapped her hooves together nervously. “I also take it that you saw me in one of my… more embarrassing moments.”

Celestia frowned. “Yes. And I’m rather disappointed in you.”

Luna’s wings ruffled and she scowled and turned away. “You’re not my mother, Celestia.”

“No, I’m not.” There was a pause, and then Luna felt two warm wings hug her tightly. “But I am your sister. And I’m sorry for not being a good one.”

Luna shook her head and hugged her sister in return. “No, twas not your fault alone, Tia. I have been an enormous fool, and a cruel one at that.”

Celestia smiled genuinely. “It seems we both have a lot to learn, don’t we?”