Sweetie Belle descended the living room stairs with an economy sized amount of trepidation swimming around in her gut. She was now doing what her mother had asked of her earlier: to come downstairs and see her when she had finished her homework. She wasn’t told about the nature of their appointment but she suspected that it had something to do with her coltfriend Button Mash who would be arriving at her doorstep in a few more hours. It couldn’t have been a cancellation. Was there a menu change? Had her mother somehow managed to find a way to get her father to behave during the dinner? All of the speculation had broken her concentration and if her homework got decent grades tomorrow, it would be a modern day miracle.
Cookie Crumbles crossed her hind legs as she spotted Sweetie Belle at the top of the stairs and awaited her arrival in the living room. With any luck, the gift that she had for her youngest daughter would serve her at least as well as it served her oldest one. She smiled proudly from her seat on the couch as she watched Sweetie Belle approach her, happily recalling the day that she brought her tiny pink and lavender-maned bundle of joy home from the Ponyville Hospital nursery. As a baby, Sweetie Belle would cry when she wanted to go up those stairs, especially if her big sister had just gone up them. Now that she was older, her little girl could go up or down those stairs at any time. She believed that Sweetie Belle had no recollection of those days but when it came to their children, the good mothers remembered the small things along with the big.
“Is your homework all done?” asked Cookie.
“Yeah,” replied Sweetie Belle, “but I still have my chores to do. Should I do them before or after we talk?”
“Neither,” said Cookie. “I’ve done them for you already.” She patted the spot on the couch beside her. “Have a seat.” Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow.
“Do I still get this week’s full allowance if you’ve done today’s chores for me?” she asked.
“Yes, it’s only when you don’t do them or you ask me to do them for you that you get dinged for it. Now sit.” Sweetie Belle climbed onto the couch at its far end, sat up and turned to her left to face her mother.
“So what did you want to see me about?” asked Sweetie Belle.
Cookie frowned. She glared at Sweetie Belle, then at the huge gap of space that she had deliberately opted to put between them, then back at Sweetie Belle.
“What, you get a coltfriend and we’re strangers all of a sudden?” asked Cookie. “Hun, I carried you inside my body for nine months, for crying out loud. Can’t you sit next to me for ten minutes?”
Sweetie Belle groaned and rolled her eyes as she rose from the spot she chose and and sat back down beside her mother, flank to flank. She faced forward and remained motionless and silent. A shiver ran up her spine that felt like a warning and she cringed. She slowly turned her head and looked up at her mother and she was met with a creepy smile from her mother that made her skin crawl. Sweetie Belle’s ears lowered and she butt-hopped her way back across the couch cushion, reclaiming her previous spot on the far end.
“Mom, would you please stop looking at me like that?” asked Sweetie Belle, turning her head away from her mother. “I’m embarrassed.”
“Aw, Sweetie,” said Cookie sympathetically. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t mean to embarrass you. I guess I love you so much that I’m having trouble suppressing the happiness that I feel knowing that my little girl is growing up. I really am very happy for you... but I’m also a little sad for myself.”
“Sad?” asked Sweetie Belle. “Why?”
“Rarity left home... and it won’t be long before you’ll be leaving,” said Cookie. “It’s not easy being a mother... and I’m not even talking about all the cooking and cleaning; that’s the easiest part. The hardest part of all is when the children that you see and care for and love every day go off into the world to live their own lives... where you can’t see them... and they can take care of themselves... and they love somepony else... all without you. You’re just not needed in the same way anymore, not the way you spent years getting used to being needed. It’s like building a beautiful sailboat all by yourself – you connect all the framework, hoist the mast, patch the leaks, and you document its construction with photographs from start to finish – it’s a labor of love. And then... one day...”
Cookie’s voice cracked as a spasm of sorrow had nearly seized her but she held her breath, refusing to sob.
She trembled.
Her eyes began to water.
She hoped it would pass so that she could continue – but then her lip began to quiver.
It didn’t stop.
She didn’t want to break down during this analogy but it was happening anyway.
She sniffled once.
Then twice.
A tear fell from her eye and landed on her knee.
Sweetie Belle stood on the couch cushion and nuzzled her cheek against her mother’s foreleg to console her.
Cookie didn’t want to show her daughter any of the sadness she felt. Nor did she want there to be any guilt in her daughter’s heart over coming of age and loving a boy; It was a perfectly natural part of any healthy girl’s life. She wanted what any mother would want for their children – the best.
“And then one day...” she continued, letting her sobs take their course. “...some dashing sea captain comes along to claim your vessel and he takes her away from you, sailing off into the horizon with the fruit of your labor. Sailboats aren’t meant to be kept on dry land. I knew that when I started. It just that your captain came along sooner than I was expecting, that’s all. I know you’re not moving out and getting married tomorrow but it’s a reminder that the clock is ticking. I’m happy for you, really, I am. It’s... bittersweet, that’s all.” She sniffled and levitated a hoofkerchief to her eyes and dabbed them dry.
The embarrassment that Sweetie Belle felt was gone. Cookie cleared her throat and muscled her way over her grief.
“Would you look at me bawling like a baby over here?” she asked. “Uh! If your father were here, he’d tease me like there was no tomorrow. Anyway, Sweetie Belle, I didn’t bring you down here to feel sorry for an old shipsmith. What I really wanted was for the two of us to have a little mother-to-daughter chat about the facts of life.”
Sweetie Belle flinched.
Welcome back, embarrassment, she thought. She wants to have The Talk with me. Well, it could be worse. I could be getting The Talk from Dad. Br-r-r-r-r.
“Uh, sure, Mom,” she said, “What do you want to know?”
Cookie rolled her eyes.
“You inherited your sense of humor from your father,” lamented Cookie. “I’m sorry about that.”
“Not to burst your parental guidance bubble, Mom,” said Sweetie Belle, “but I do know a little more about the facts of life than I let on.”
“This isn’t what you think, sugar pea,” said Cookie. “This isn’t The Talk.”
“Oh, thank CELESTIA!” squeaked Sweetie Belle as she flopped backward on the couch.
"Contrary to popular belief, hanky-panky makes up such a small percentage of what constitutes a full life that it’s barely worth mentioning.”
"Hanky-panky? Isn’t he that stallion from Canterlot who watched Rarity’s fashion show a while ago?”
“It means sex.”
"Ew. Does Rarity know that? Having her fine dresses sold in his sleazy boutique might harm her brand.”
“No, she- Wait, what? No, look, hun, all I’m trying to say is that sex isn’t that important in the grand scheme of things, all right?” Cookie levitated a book from the bookshelf on the far side of the living room and set it down on the coffee table in front of them. “But when you’re ready to learn about the more technical aspect of the subject, I happen to have a copy of this full color pictorial that I made back in college featuring your father and me which I think you’ll find very educatio-”
Sweetie Belle cut her mother off with a sustained scream of terror and she hopped from the couch to try and make a break for it. Cookie used her magic to clamp down on the tip of Sweetie Belle’s tail, preventing her daughter from leaving the immediate area but not from continuing to run in the hopes that her mother’s magical grasp might eventually weaken, thus allowing her to escape a fate worse than death.
“NINETY-NINE BUCKETS OF OATS ON THE WALL, NINETY-NINE BUCKETS OF OOOOOATS!” sang a panicked Sweetie Belle as loudly as she could. Given that her lungs her busy drawing in oxygen to help her run, it was not the easiest of balancing acts. “IF ONE OF THOSE BUCKETS SHOULD FALL IN THE RAIN, WE’RE GONNA HAVE OATMEAL FOR BREAKFAST A-GAIN! NINETY-EIGHT BUCK-”
“I’M ONLY KIDDIIIING!” shouted Cookie. Sweetie Belle ceased her song and stopped running. She turned around and looked at the book that her mother had placed on the coffee table. It was titled Gardening Tips For Beginners by Golden Harvest. Sweetie Belle returned to the spot on the couch beside her mother and pouted disapprovingly, taking exception to being subjected to two mess-with-your-head jokes in as many days. “Geez Louise! That’s your first life lesson right there, Sweetie Belle: learn how to tell when somepony’s just pulling your chain! You’re just like your big sis; you both wail like a couple of flaming banshees at the tiniest thing. As I was saying, I’m talking about giving you real world advice that’ll serve you well into your golden years. I want you to reap the benefits of the wisdom that I’ve gained over a lifetime of experience. It’s the kind of advice that I wish your grandma would’ve given me when I was your age if she hadn’t been...”
Cookie took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and sighed. Her own troubles with her mother had left her with a sour taste in her mouth, even now that she was gone. But that was a long time ago and the grudge she held should have died with her mother’s passing. Cookie opened her eyes and looked at Sweetie Belle.
“You know what?” said Cookie. “There’s no need for me to go there. This isn’t about me or her. This is about you, Sweetie Belle. You’ll always be my baby girl but if you’re leaving foalhood behind, then, as your mother, I have a responsibility to share what I’ve learned about life so that you’ll be better prepared for what the world is gonna throw your way.”
“Mkay.”
Cookie blinked.
“My, such enthusiasm,” she muttered. "But maybe that'll change once you hear what I have to say... Uh, or read, in this case."
Cookie opened the gardening book with her magic and flipped through the pages until she found a sheet of folded up notebook paper that was starting to yellow with age. Sweetie Belle watched her mother levitate and unfold the paper. It turned out to be two such sheets, double sided and with writing on both sides.
“I wrote this speech for your sister when she was around your age,” noted Cookie. “But it applies to anypony’s daughter. Rarity turned out great – even if she hasn’t given me any grandkids yet.”
“You write?”
“Yeah, I write. I walk and talk, too. Pretty neat, huh?” Sweetie Belle reared her head back and squeaked with laughter. “I’ve even figured out how to go to sleep. And get this: sometimes when I’m hungry, I can actually eat food.”
Sweetie Belle rolled on her back and held her aching sides as she laughed some more. In her opinion, her mother was much funnier than her father.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” she snickered, rubbing her eyes free of tears and breathing normally again.
“Well, it sure sounded like you meant it like that. Yes, I write – but not creatively. I can’t write a story. I only write what I know, you know? Now then...”
Cookie cleared her throat and held the piece of paper up to her face.
“This was written in free form, by the way,” she pointed out. “It’s gonna be all over the place with observations and a lot of them are gonna sound alike so just bear with me, okay?”
“Mkay,” muttered Sweetie Belle.
“You are precious,” she began. “Your father and I will love you and take care of you for as long as we can but love doesn’t mean never having to ask for rent for your room. You were not born to wealthy parents so expect to strike out on your own one day and labor for your daily bread. Take pride in your work. A good work ethic will take you farther in life than the largest inheritance – but keep in mind that I wasn’t born into wealth either so I don’t really have a frame of reference to back up this claim. It sounds good, though, doesn’t it? Personally, I’d rather have the inheritance and not have to work at all but that’s not really advice. I digress. Spend your earnings wisely. Money is a necessary evil but as evils go, it’s a pretty gosh darned useful one to have around. Be frugal but don’t be stingy. Should good fortune happen to smile on you, take it as an opportunity to be charitable. You are somepony worth getting to know so give others a fair chance to get to know you. Along the way, you will get to know them. Only then will you see their true value. Never put stock in the superficial. We will all get old and saggy someday on the outside. If you love what’s on the inside, no amount of wrinkles can touch it. You are somepony worthy of being loved but be warned: a lot of stallions see the world through bed-colored glasses and will say whatever they think you want to hear to get you to surrender your virtue. Don’t fall for sweet talk. Never do anything before you’re ready. True love is patient. Give your love only to those who’ve earned it and accept love only from those who have touched your heart. Believe in yourself. Stand up for yourself. Respect yourself. Others may or may not respect you. Acknowledge the ones that do respect you and ignore the ones that don’t. Every second you waste on a dirtbag is a second that you could have used on finding somepony more deserving of you. Never let anypony else’s opinion of you define who you are. Never beat yourself up. There’s no shortage of ponies in this world who are ready and willing to take you down a peg. Everypony deserves to be treated with love, respect and kindness – unless they try something fresh with you, in which case you have my blessing to beat the living chocolate choo-choo train out of them. Never sell yourself short. Knowing when to follow your heart and when to use your head is one of the trickiest things to master since either can lead you astray. All I can say with any certainty is that always listening to one and never listening to the other will make for a monotonous existence. Friends come and go. Lovers come and go. Allow those who come into your life to be a part of it and allow those who wander off to leave it. The ones who care for you are the ones who’ll stay with you. Never hang on to anypony who wants to leave you. There’s no point in trying to get somepony to stay with you if you can’t make them happy. Enjoy the weather. Not just warm weather, either. Enjoy all kinds of weather. Some good ponies have died on sunny days and some babies were born on rainy days. The weather is only a backdrop so if you love it all, it won’t affect your mood when it changes. It’s okay to cry. Your emotions are part of who you are and the ponies who love and care about you won’t begrudge you your tears – and if you have really good friends, they’ll even cry with you. You do not have to respect a pony’s opinion but you do have to respect a pony’s right to an opinion. Some ponies will be indifferent toward you. Some will be wonderful to you. And some you’ll wish you’d never met. I wish to Celestia that they came with labels telling you which are which but they don’t... which is why you need to develop good judgment early on. Never let anypony rob you of your optimism. Life is in your options. The more positive and upbeat you are, the more options you’ll have. Life is a never-ending series of changes. Adapt to them. Observe. Learn. Do. Grow. Be a student of the game and always play by the rules, even if others get ahead by breaking them. Engage life. It’s not going to do it for you. There will be ponies who will never be your friend but that does not make them your enemies. There is only one enemy you will have in life and its name is Fear. Kick the enemy’s plot each and every time it rears its ugly head or it will most assuredly kick yours. Respect your body. It’s the only one you have and if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything. Always be thankful that you are healthy. Life is not a cakewalk. You’ll have to make some hard decisions and you will make some mistakes along the way. That’s all right. It’s expected. Learn from your mistakes. If you don’t, you’re going to tick off a lot of ponies. Forgive others if they ask for it sincerely. Give second chances. Give third chances at your own risk. Never give a fourth chance. Life is not fair. The average mare has more going against her than for her. You will fall down. You might even be pushed down. It will hurt. Badly. You must do your best to get back up and move on. Life is what you make of it. You are born, you live, you die. The rest is a blank slate so be creative with it and have fun. You have one heart. It is highly unlikely that the first stallion who steals it won’t break it so love cautiously. When it breaks, it will hurt. Badly. But you glue the pieces back together, you save it for the next deserving stallion, you repeat steps one through three and you never give up hope. Curse the checkers but never flip the checkerboard. I’ll never tell you that ‘there’s somepony out there for everypony’ because that’s not true. The only guarantee in life is that there are no guarantees, with the possible exception that fear will kick your plot. But if you’re lucky and you survive all the pitfalls, get better at clearing the hurdles and don’t give in to fear, you might find or be found by ‘the one’ and if you do find him, by Celestia, be as good to him as he is to you – better, if possible. He’s your reward for putting up with all the manure the world has put in your path. You’ll know ‘the one’ when he comes along. He will do anything to make you laugh, up to and including borrowing and wearing one of his mother’s dresses. He will buy you a bouquet of flowers even though it means he’ll have to graze ponies’ lawns for nutrition for the rest of the week until his next paycheck. He will come to your house and perform moonlit serenades at your bedroom window with a kazoo until the neighbors chase him off. He will take you out dancing because you love it, even if he hates dancing. He will do all of these things and more until your heart says ‘hey, throw away the glue, you won’t need it anymore’. When you’re single, go out with as many stallions as you like because when ‘the one’ comes along and asks for your hoof in marriage, it’s for life – so you had gosh darned better sow your wild oats before then. Say yes to ‘the one’ and say goodbye to all the other stallions. It’s a wonderful time in a mare’s life when she’s young and carefree, when a new lover might be just around the corner... but marrying and starting a family with the stallion who loves and cherishes you above all others... there isn’t a better feeling in the world than that... and any committed couple that has ever married for love will tell you the same thing. The family unit is sacred. It is love incarnate, love written in stone, love squared, love – and life – fully realized.”
Cookie Crumbles put her master work back in the gardening book and closed it.
“Ta-daaa!” she said, levitating the book and returning it to its place on the bookshelf.
Sweetie Belle stared silently in awe of her mother. Her jaw hung open out of shock and now that the speech had come to a conclusion, a smile formed slowly across her face. Never before had it been so beautifully illustrated for Sweetie Belle benefit just how complex and faceted her life would become once she was old enough to venture out into the world on her own. She quickly turned her head to look at the clock on the wall. Her world view had been dramatically changed in under ten minutes! She was imbued with a sense of empowerment and she was quite giddy. She wanted to tackle it all, the good along with the bad. She wanted to run to her best friends Scootaloo and Apple Bloom and tell them what a wise and wonderful mare her mother was but she quickly put the idea out of her head, however, recalling that she was the only Cutie Mark Crusaders who had a mother and she didn’t want to risk appearing insensitive.
“You wrote all that?” she asked, hopping up and down on the couch. “Wow! THAT WAS AMAZ-”
“DON’T JUMP ON THE COUCH!” ordered Cookie. “Sweet cinnamon sticks in a sombrero, Sweetie Belle! Do you want to break every stick of furniture we have in this house? Honestly.”
“Sorry.” Sweetie Belle stepped off the couch and resumed her hopping, unable to contain herself. “But that speech was amazing! I never knew you were so... so...”
“Worldly?” asked Cookie. “Yeah, huh? Bet you never thought that your dear old mom lived any kind of interesting life before she met your father. I’m more than just your go-to source for fixing scraped knees and filling empty tummies, you know. But my life’s still plenty interesting. My oldest daughter helped save Equestria from certain doom more than once... my youngest daughter’s coming of age and bringing a boy home for dinner... and hey, let’s not forget all those coupons I clip.”
“Oh, heaven forbid we forget that pulse-pounding activity.”
“So, you see, pumpkin, because I threw my hat in the ring and gave life a few rounds to beat me up a little, I came out of it a winner... and now I have your father, your sister and you to love me. Life is the challenge, love is the goal and family is the reward. If you learned something from my speech, then give your old lady a great big hug.” Sweetie Belle gladly did as she was instructed. She loved her mother’s speech. Having it read to her made her feel so grown up, so respected. And yet, it also made her feel a little sad knowing that she was leaving childhood behind. “So... do you think Button’s ‘the one’ for you? It’s okay if you don’t think he is. A first coltfriend seldom is. You can have fun together just so long as you respect one other and neither of you hurts the other’s feelings. If it works out, great. If it doesn’t, then just consider the relationship a practice run for when you meet the next colt.”
Sweetie Belle blinked.
“You’re asking me if I think Button’s ‘the one’?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Uh, yeah... So, is he?”
Sweetie Belle’s mind drifted to a monumental event that took place just a few days ago which answered that question perfectly.