//------------------------------// // Just Can't Catch a Break // Story: How I Met Your Mother // by Smithawits //------------------------------// It was a sunny afternoon in Cloudsdale as many pegasi of all kinds of colors flew, hovered and played in the partly cloudy sky. One of these pegasi included a well liked gray mare with a light yellow mane, crossed yellow eyes, and bubbles for a cutie mark. She was wearing a blue mailmare hat and carrying a bag full of letters. Her name was Derpy. Derpy hummed to herself as she happily flew through the sky towards one particularly tall house that floated majestically on the clouds. The house was three stories tall, had a light blue color, and had a rainbow waterfall that spilled out into a small pond in front of the house that overflowed and dissipated in the air before it hit the ground. Derpy landed near the mailbox, which was several feet from the front door. Suddenly, the front door swung open and a young pegasus colt came excitedly galloping out. The colt had a light blue coat, a rainbow mane, green eyes, and a fiery rainbow for a cutie mark. His name was Fire Spectrum. "Hey!" Fire Spectrum said as he galloped up. "Oh, hello!" Derpy said with a smile. "Don't mind me, I'm just delivering your mail! How are you today?" "That depends on what you're delivering!" "Expecting a package?" "Yeah! Well, not a package; a letter! I've been trying to get into the Wonderbolts Camp!" Derpy smiled and tilted her head. "The Wonderbolts huh?" Fire nodded. "Well...the junior division anyway...But eventually I'm going to be a Wonderbolt!" "Well, you certainly sound confident!" "I'm sure to be a Wonderbolt sometime! I am, after all, the best flyer among my friends, and soon I'll be the best flyer in Equestria! Well...other than my mom and dad of course." Derpy reached into her mailbag. "Well I hope you get your letter soon!" she said as she brought out a small stack of mail with her hoof. "Here you go! Good luck!" With that, Derpy gave the mail to Fire and flew off. Fire, too excited to say goodbye, quickly dashed back into the house; leaving a trail of rainbow fire on the ground; it soon dissipated and burned itself out. Fire quickly searched through the mail, discarding and tossing anything that wasn't for him onto the floor. "Hmm...bill....bill...bill...Ooo! A gaming magazine!" -Fire tucked the magazine under his wing and kept searching- "Nope...coupons...no...Then one small envelope caught his eye. It was addressed to Soarin and looked like a business letter, but it didn't look like the business letters he usually sees in the mail. And it certainly wasn't his acceptance letter. Knowing that his dad would want to see this, he set it on a table and continued looking through the mail. "No..... no...no-Oh come on! Why haven't they replied yet?" Fire kicked his hoof against the floor in frustration, then noticed the magazine in the corner of his eye; slightly partly peeking out from under his wing. "Well, at least it wasn't a total loss." He then trotted up the stairs to his room. Fire's bedroom looked like a tornado had gone through it; clothes, soda cans and empty video game cases were strewn all over the floor; his bed was un-tucked with the blankets bundled and thrown into the corner of the bed. Several posters were starting to peel off of the wall, except for a Wonderbolts poster signed by all the members of the Wonderbolts. Fire tossed the magazine on his bed and shut the door behind him with one of his hind legs. He then ran and jumped as high as the ceiling would allow him, and then free fell right onto his bed, sending the magazine flying upwards. Just before the magazine landed, Fire caught it and started to look through it. "Got that one....terrible game...don't have it...Haylo, got that one....Call of Cutie, got-" Fire was interrupted by what sounded like hoofsteps just outside of his door. He set the magazine a little too close to the edge and went to go investigate. "Hello?" he said as he opened the door, but didn't see anypony there. Fire shrugged and looked back just in time to see his magazine start to slide over the edge of the bed. He quickly dove for his bed, but he was just a second too late; his magazine fell between the wall and the edge of his bed, and landed under his bed. Fire let out a frustrated groan, then crouched down and tried to look under the bed for his magazine, but it was too dark underneath. Looking around, Fire was able to find a flashlight. He clicked it on, put the end in his mouth and started to crawl underneath his bed. When he was younger, he would be able to crawl underneath and hide when he and his sister would play hide and seek; unfortunately, that was several years ago and he has gotten bigger since then. He crawled as far as he could, but then found himself wedged under the bed frame. His hind legs and tail were the only parts of his body that stuck out from the bed. Fire tried to wiggle himself free, but only managed to get himself more stuck. After a few minutes of struggling, he heard somepony giggle. He looked to his left, and saw a young filly pegasus with two big purple eyes staring at him from outside of the bed. She also had a cyan coat, but she had dark blue hair and a paint brush painting a cloud as a cutie mark. “Whatcha dooooin?” the filly said with a smile. Fire spit out the flashlight. “Oh nothing, I’m just-" Fire grunted as he tried to force his way out- "building a bridge here,” he said sarcastically. “Uh-huh, and how is that coming along?” “Oh be quiet.” Fire tried pushing himself back out, but he didn’t budge. “Hey, do you mind giving me a hoof?” “Mmmmmmmm...no. If you got yourself in there, you can get yourself out.” “What!?” “Sorry big brother, but watching you being outsmarted by a bed is just way too entertaining.” Fire sighed and tried to free himself again. “Hey, wait wait a minute, why are you in my room?” “Oh believe me, your room is the last place I would want to be; it always smells like rotten apples in here. Honestly though, what else am I supposed to do when I walk by and it looks as if the bed is eating you alive.” Fire grunted and squirmed to try to reposition himself. “Seriously though,” the filly said, “what are you doing?” “I dropped a magazine and it fell under my bed," Fire said flatly as he started squirming again to get free. "Oh. Why not just move the bed?" Fire stopped and blinked; the simple thought of moving the bed had never occurred to him. "Um...." "You mean to tell me you never thought about moving your bed!?" "Ummm....." "So you decided to crawl underneath even though you knew you weren't going to fit." "Ummmmm....." "All to get some dumb magazine?" "Dumb magazine!?" Fire said, finally able to find his words. "Let me tell you something sis. 'Electronic Equestria' is not a dumb magazine. It has all kinds of announcements and reviews on all kinds of new games coming out, and games that have been out. And furthermore..." Fire's sister rolled her eyes as he went on a rant. As he continued to talk, she glanced over at his tail which was still sticking out from under the bed, and suddenly got an idea. Very quietly, she hovered out of Fire's room and went to her room. She came back a few seconds later with a pink box in her mouth; to her relief, Fire was still rambling about his magazine. She then sat down near his tail and opened the box to reveal all kinds of hair bows and clips. Over the next several minutes, she gently braided Fire's tail, who was too distracted to notice; all the while, she gave short responses to keep Fire talking. She finished braiding just as Fire was finishing up his rant. "And that is why that game is my favorite." "Fascinating..." "Now, could you please help me out from under here?" Gentle quietly closed the box and pushed it to the side. "Mmmmm...sure. I suppose you've suffered enough. I'm going to try to lift the bed a little and you can-" the filly paused as she looked out the window; a smile grew on her face as she recognized a certain cyan colored stallion flying towards the house. "Yes...? I can what? What's going on?" Fire asked. The filly happily galloped out of the room. "Daddy's home! Daddy's home!" she cheered. “Hey wait! Don’t leave me!” Fire called out, torn between getting his magazine, and getting free. “Gentle Breeze, don’t go! Help me get out first!” * * * * Soarin landed on a soft cloud just in front of his house. "Man..." he said to himself as he stretched his tired wings. "Spitfire has really been wearing us out lately...that or maybe I'm just getting old." Soarin paused and blinked. "Naaahh, it's definitely Spitfire." Soarin started walking towards his house just as Gentle Breeze bounded out the front door. "Hi Dad!" Gentle Breeze said happily as she hugged him. "How was your race at the Wonderbolts Derby?" Soarin hugged his daughter back. "It was alright. Fleetfoot won by a nose, again...I don't know how that mare does it. I can easily outfly her when it comes to practice and performance, but she wins almost all the time when it comes to the derby..." "Aww what happened, did my big strong daddy come in second place again?" She said in a joking tone. Soarin blushed. "Um....fourth. It was Fleetfoot, your mom, Spitfire, and then me. Gentle giggled. "Where's mom?" "She's still at the derby signing autographs; I decided I'd come home and see if you two were ok." Gentle nodded. "We are! Nothing much has happened so far." "I see. So anyways, where's your brother?" "Oh, he's trapped in the void that is underneath his bed." Soarin smirked. "He's what now?" "I said he's-" Gentle was interrupted by a sudden, loud crash coming from the house. "It sounds like he got free!" The father and daughter entered the house just as Fire made his way downstairs. "Thanks a lot for leaving me up there to fend for myself sis!" He then turned to his dad as Gentle walked up next to her brother. "Hey dad! How was the derby?" "The derby-" Soarin suddenly noticed Fire's tail and its recent makeover "-went...just...fine..." Gentle smiled and winked at Soarin. "Just fine? You didn't come in second again, did you?" Soarin smiled, too distracted by Fire's tail. "Um....no. However, I do like your new style." "Style?" Fire asked as he tilted his head. "Your tail...." Soarin pointed to his son's tail. Fire turned; his eyes nearly popped out of his head at the sight of his tail. "What....why...." He then turned to Gentle. "When did you do this!?" Gentle giggled. "I did it when you were rambling on about that silly magazine! Fire rolled his eyes, "for the last time, its not a silly magazine! Not only is it informitive, but it was started by no other than the famous Button Mash! He knows quite a few things about gaming." He then sat down and started to unbraid his tail. "And now my tail is going to look all girly thanks to you!" "Well I think it's an improvement!" Gentle said excitedly as Fire continued working on his tail. "Sounds like you two have had a pretty busy morning." Soarin said as he started to walk into the kitchen. Fire shrugged "eh...it's been kind of dull. I've been waiting for my acceptance letter into the Wonderbolts Camp, but it hasn't arrived yet." "Maybe it'll come soon!" Soarin said with a smile. "Yeah...although I wish they would hurry up." "Me too." Gentle said. "I'm tired of hearing you complain about waiting for it." Fire shot Gentle a glare and then continued unbraiding his tail. "Oh!" Fire said suddenly. He then called into the kitchen. "Hey dad, something came in the mail for you today. It's on the table here in the living room." "Oh?" Soarin called back. "What is it?" "I'm not sure. It looks kind of important though." Soarin walked back into the living room and opened the envelope. "Oh! They finally arrived!" Gentle tilted her head."What did?" "Tickets for the Golden Waves Beach." "Well at least one of us got what we wanted..." Fire muttered quietly. "What's that?" Gentle asked "It's where your mom and I had our first date, I figured we'd go there since our anniversary is coming up." The two foals had total opposite reactions. Gentle seemed to 'awww' at the thought, while Fire flattened his tongue and stuck a hoof at his mouth, making a 'blech' noise in the process. Soarin couldn't help but chuckle at the two's reactions. "Wait, I thought mom didn't like all that sweet romance stuff." Fire said and he tried to undo a knot that he accidentally tied in his tail. "On the surface, she doesn't; I'll probably embarrass her and she probably won't talk to me for a while, but deep down, I know she appreciates it." "Hmm, where did you say you were going?" Gentle asked. "Golden Waves Beach Resort." "I don't think you've ever told us about that place." Soarin blinked. "I haven't?" Gentle shook her head. "In fact, I don't think you've ever told us about how you and mom first started dating..." "Really...?" Soarin said as he started to think. "I could've sworn I told you at one time..." Gentle shook her head. "You told us about how you and mom met and a few stories after you two got married, but you never told us about what happened in between!" "Oh...well then I'll have to tell you the story sometime." "How about now?" Gentle said excitedly. "Now?" "Yeah! We'd love to hear it! Wouldn't we Fire?" "Huh?" Fire looked up, then went back to working on his tail. "Oh yeah sure....whatever..." Gentle rolled her eyes. "See? We'd love to! Plus, we don't have anything going on, and you should be finished for the day!" "Well...your mom is going to be a while. Sure! Make yourselves comfortable on the couch and I'll join you two shortly! I just need to go put these tickets someplace where your mother won't see them." Soarin left to go upstairs. Gentle smiled then quickly, and forcibly, pulled Fire up onto the couch. "Hey!" Fire protested, his concentration broken. "What gives???" "Isn't this exciting??? We're going to find out about how mom and dad first started dating!" "WHAT!? I don't want to listen to all that lovey dovey romance garbage!" "Then why did you agree to it?" "I didn't agree to it! When did I do that!?" Gentle's expression flattened. "Just a few seconds ago genius. You said 'Yeah sure whatever' then continued working on your tail." Fire blinked, remembering about what he agreed to. "Oh...." "Oh relax, it won't be that bad! I enjoy these stories!" "That's cause you're a filly; fillies like that stuff..." Gentle rolled her eyes. "Anyways Mr. Grumpycloud, you better make yourself comfortable." Fire sat down with a huff and continued trying to unknot his tail. "What did you put in my tail? I can't get it untangled...." "Hey, I turned your tail into a beautiful work of art and you undid it; you must suffer the consequences." Fire sighed. "First my magazine gets lost under my bed, then my tail gets hopelessly tangled and now this. I just can't catch a break today..."