I woke up finding myself on the floor. Mmmmm, the floor. So much better than the couch. I thought sarcastically. I lazily sat up and got on the couch and laid back down. As I was trying to go back to sleep, I heard wings flapping. Don't wake me up. Don't wake me up. Don't wake me up.
"C'mon, Justin. It's time to wake up."
FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU-!! "But I don't wanna~." I said in a whinny voice.
"Please." I turned around and saw her big, pleading eyes staring at me. I nearly died of adorableness.
"Yes, ma'am." I got up, feeling defeated. I stretched my whole body and lots of bones cracked. She flinched at all of the noises.
"I got breakfast ready." She said with a smile. I followed her into the kitchen and found waffles ready on the table. I took my seat and started eating them, frantically. "Oh....., my. Someone is hungry."
"Sorry. I really am. I have a high-metabolism. It means that I can eat as much as I want and not gain a pound."
"It's okay." She said as she took her first bite, after I ate my waffle. "So, how was sleeping on the floor." She said jokingly, while giggling.
"Jokes on you. I'm used to it."
"Well, I hope that spider is used to living in your colon." I spat out all of the food that was in my mouth.
"WHAT!?!?" I ran over to her sink and drank approximately a gallon of water.
"Hehehe. I'm just kidding. I don't take care of bugs or insects."
"Well, I will give you props for tricking me, but I have arachnophobia."
"Oh, I am so sorry. If I had known I wouldn't have said that. Please don't be mad at me."
"Fluttershy, it's okay. I don't blame you. In fact, I've been tricked a lot worse back on Earth, than here. I thought it was pretty funny. Plus, you didn't know." I said as I grabbed my plate and set it in the sink. Hmmm. Should I take a shower and put these clothes back on. Or go to Twilight's, in hope that she cleaned my old clothes, then take a shower. I decided on the second one. "Hey, Fluttershy. Where's your bathroom?"
"Upstairs and take a left." I thanked her and walked upstairs. I used her toilet and put my head under her sink to wash my hair. I got it as wet as I could and dried it off with the rag on that was on her counter. I walked back downstairs and grabbed my sack of bits. I took all of the coins out and placed them in my pocket. I put the sack back on the counter. She would probably have a better use for this than me. I opened the door and started my way towards Ponyville. I only walked about ten yards before I heard screaming. I looked around and found that the three fillies had landed in a mud puddle.
"I told y'all we couldn't do what he did. Now look at us."
"Rarity is not gonna be happy about this."
"Well, if it isn't my three favorite fillies. What happened?"
"Applebloom told us about how you picked all of the apples out of one of her trees. And I wanted to try it, but she was being a scaredy cat. Once I got up there, she and Sweetie Belle followed. We started picking the pine cones, but we all ran into each other by accident." I picked them all up and got them out of the mud.
"Let me take you girls to Twilight's to get cleaned up. I was heading there, myself, to get cleaned up. This way, no one will know you girls got dirty. Here, Scootaloo," I said as I picked her up and put her on my head, "You get to ride on top this time." She had some mud under her, but I didn't care. "Uhhh...." I said as I looked at the other two. I took my shirt off and wrapped it around my waist. I picked up the other two and carried them like I did the other day. "That's cold." They all laughed at me.
"Wait, Justin. How are you gonna get us to Twilight's without anyone seeing us? There's no way you can do that."
"Aww come on, Sweetie. There's always a way." I said as I started walking left.
"Oh yeah. I forgot that Ponyville had a back way." As I was walking, they were telling me about there adventures and about them being a group called the 'Cutie Mark Crusaders'. I laughed at the name until Scootaloo bonked me on the head. They wanted me to join, but I told them 'no'. "Why not."
"Two reasons. Number one; I would be too lazy to even try. And number two; humans don't get cutie marks. We can get fake ones called 'tattoos'. They jab a needle into your body and color it with permanent ink, or something like that. I never learned about it. I wanted one, but wasn't old enough, yet. Now I can never get one."
"What was it going to be?"
"I wanted four of them. They would all say the names of my favorite bands. 'Protest the Hero' on my left leg. 'Hollywood Undead' on my right leg. 'Linkin Park' on my right arm. And 'Dethklok' on my left arm. All in different fonts."
"Geez. Them big words would hurt. Applebloom said.
"They would, but it would still look cool."
"They all sound awesome!"
"They are all awesome, Scootaloo." We've been walking and talking for about an hour. They asked me how I got here, I told them, and how I don't blame Pinkie or Rainbow. We finally made it to Twilight's house. Applebloom knocked on the door for me and Twilight answered it.
"Oh my gosh! You're all filthy!"
"And you're purple. Wanna tell me anymore obvious facts?"
"Don't talk to me like that. I'm still mad at you."
"For what?"
"For not coming home yesterday."
"I went to Fluttershy's cottage for a visit. After I was done eating dinner with her, it was ten, and I was gonna come back. But she made me sleep on the couch. And don't act like you're my mom, because I'm technically an adult here." I put the fillies down and they ran inside.
"Yeah, an adult who can't handle his alcohol."
"Says the mare with a human and a dragon as children. It seems you've been drinking a lot more than me." I said as I walked in. "Now, for the reason I came here, are my clothes clean?" I asked, as if our fight had never happened.
"Uh, um, y-yeah." She said, wondering why I wasn't mad anymore. "They're in the living room." I walked in there and found the three fillies sitting on the floor.
"And another reason I came here, can the girls take their baths here. I couldn't bring them home and have their parent figures yell at them."
"And yet, you would come here and let me yell at you, instead."
"Yeah, I don't really care. I'm pretty used to it. With my parents and teachers always yelling, I always comeback at them, or I just ignore them." I turned around and looked at the girls. "Please tell me you girls can take baths on your own."
"Of course! We're not 3." Scootaloo said. They all walked into Twilight's kitchen, dripping some mud.
"It's nice to know that I worried you."
"Why's that?"
"Back on Earth, my parents didn't care if I was out from eleven o' clock, until the ass crack of dawn. They thought I would actually be able to handle myself, if a random person came out of nowhere with a knife." I said as I sat down. "Like, one time, me and my friends went into a bar, and I accidentally picked a fight with a twenty-four year old, I think. He was a little drunk, too."
"How did you 'accidentally' pick a fight with him?"
"I bumped into him, he said some things, I smart assed him. You know how it is with me."
"Wow. OK, so, how did you avoid it or win it?
"I avoided it, of course, but with smarts. I started yelling at him, grab more attention to make him the bad guy. I punched myself in the face to confuse him and throw him off guard. I grabbed a stool in my right hand, and a beer mug filled with beer in my left. I splashed him in the face, blinding him some. I threatened to hit him with the stool, and he fell over. After he was on the floor, I ran like hell out of there. I ran for a minute, and my friends finally caught up with me and started laughing at what I did."
"Are all humans on your world violent?"
"Well, there are over 7 billion people in the world. Maybe a little under a quarter of that number of people are violent."
"And that would be roughly around,one billion seven hundred fifty million humans on your world that are violent." I looked at her, mouth agape.
"H-how did you do that?"
"I'm very smart. Go ahead ask me anything."
"OK, umm," I said as I was rubbing my chin. "Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?" She looked at me in the most dumbfounded face.
"I'm sorry, what?" I just started laughing at her.
"I win." After that, the three fillies walked out of the kitchen, still drying themselves off with towels. "Hey squirts. Did you girls have fun?" They all looked at me, like I was stupid. "Well, I guess it's my turn. You girls wait here." I grabbed my old clothes and headed for the kitchen door.
"Why?"
"Because I'm gonna hang out with you girls, today." I walked into the kitchen and down the hall. I went into the bathroom and found a mess. I set my clothes on the counter. I decided to clean it up, so Twilight wouldn't yell at them. There was water everywhere. I grabbed the towel they all used to dry themselves off with and started cleaning. After I was done, I threw the towel in the corner and grabbed a new one from under the sink. I untied my shirt from my waist put it on the floor, along with my other clothes. I noticed something. The only time I ever take my shoes off is when I take a shower. I got in the shower and turned the hot water on. I grabbed the shampoo and started washing my hair. I stood under the shower head and let the warm water hit me. It was the most relaxing thing I have ever felt. I turned off the water and stepped onto the towel. I dried myself off and put my clothes and glasses back on. I fixed my hair back to the way it was. I grabbed my jeans and pulled out my MP4 and my money and put them in my other pair of jeans. I grabbed the rest of my clothes, and the towel, and brought them into the laundry room. I walked back into the living room and found the crusaders reading. "What are you girls reading?"
"A book about cutie marks." Sweetie Belle said as they shut the book. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah." I grabbed Applebloom and put her on my head and picked up Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. We headed out the door and towards Ponyville. "Let's get something to eat. I'm starving."
"But, Justin, none of us have any money." At that, I shook my pocket, indicating that I got paid. "Wow! How did ya' get any money?"
"I work at the spa, now. And, apparently, my first day there was payday. Now, where should we-" I stopped myself and saw Applejack yelling at random ponies to come and buy apple products from her. I walked over there and stood in line. The pony in front of me, turned around and giggled at the site of us. I just lifted my hand, barely, and gave her a small wave. She paid for her apples and walked away. "Hi, Applejack." She heard me and looked at me and snickered a bit.
"Ah' see that ya' have your hooves full." She said, still holding back her laugh.
"Well, I'm trying to make myself seem friendly here, in case anyone still sees me as a threat."
"Yeah, and we're here to help." Scootaloo said.
"Is there anythin' I can get y'all?" I looked around and saw an apple pie that was thirty bits.
"Can I have that apple pie?" I asked as I put Scootaloo on the counter. I started pulling out random bits, and set four brown bits on her stand's counter.
"It only costs thirty bits."
"I know. That's a tip for the friendly service."
"Thank ya', sugarcube. Here's your pie." Sweetie grabbed it and I grabbed Scootaloo. We walked over to an outside table, from a random restaurant. Sweetie set the pie on the table and I put the girls in different seats. I raised my hand, snapped my fingers, trying to get a waitress.
"And what would you like, miss?"
"It's sir. Can we get a knife, four plates, and a fork?"
"Sorry about that, sir. And yes, I will be back, momentarily."
"Thank you." I looked at the girls and they were snickering at me. "What?"
"She called you 'miss'!" Scootaloo said, bursting out laughing. I just rolled my eyes. The waitress came and gave us our utensils and plates. I cut the pie into four equal slices and set them on plates. They all shoved their mouths into it and started gobbling it down. I ate mine, trying to keep up with them, so they don't get bored waiting on me. The pie was amazing. We all finished and they all had a big mess on their faces. I snapped my fingers calling over the waitress again.
"Can we get some napkins, please." She looked at the girls and giggled at the site. She walked away and came back in a minute. She placed the napkins on the table and walked away. I grabbed them and started wiping off the messes from their faces. I picked up the empty pie pan and threw it in the nearest garbage can. I walked over to the waitress and gave her two brown bits.
"What do you girls want to do, now?" I asked as I looked in the sky. The sun was a little above the horizon. Did I wake up at two, or something?
"Can you take us to our clubhouse?"
"Sure. Point the way, Scootaloo."
"That way!" She said pointing towards the woods. She kept her hoof in front of me, like a compass. The forest looked dark and damp. There was a lot of fog and the sun barely seeped through. We walked for about an hour and finally reached a small house, sitting in a tree.
"Is this it?" I asked. I got no answer. I looked at the girls and they were asleep. Perfect. I think Applejack's house is nearby. I faced the front of the clubhouse and turned completely around. I walked for another hour and when I got out of the forest, it was dark. I was in the apple orchard and kept walking forward. I finally reached her barn house and knocked on the door. A red stallion, the exact height as me, opened the door. "I'm guessing you're Big Macintosh, right? I'd shake your hoof, but I kind of have mine full." I said, jokingly.
"Eeyup. Do ya' mind telling me what happened?"
"Not at all. I had a day off from work today, and I decided to hang out with the fillies. We went to Twilight's, so I can change clothes. Then, we went to your families stand and I bought us an Apple pie, which was amazing. They wanted me to bring them to their clubhouse, and so I did. But once we got there, they fell asleep. Your house was the closest, so I brought them here. Do you mind if I stay the night here, as well?"
"I don't mind. Just bring the girls into Applebloom's room. Her's is the one on the far right." I nodded and walked inside. In front of me was a kitchen and to my right, was a living room. I walked upstairs and put them in Applebloom's bed. I walked back downstairs to talk to Big Macintosh.
"Hey, Big Mac. Why are there so few guys in Pony ville."
"What do ya' mean?"
"Well, the only males I've seen in the past three days were you, Doctor Whooves, Spike, and myself. Why is that?"
"Ah' never noticed. There are a lot of stallions in Canterlot. Mostly guards fer the princesses. Can Ah' ask ya' a question? Why are ya' here?"
"Here, as in, your house? Or here, as in, Equestria?"
"Here, as in, Equesria."
"It wasn't my decision to come here. I fell through a portal, made by Pinkie. I can't go back, because the Portal Gun got destroyed by Rainbow Dash. Not to be rude, or anything, but I'm getting kind of tired and it's late. Where do I sleep?"
"Ya' can take Granny Smith's room. She's in Appleoosa with our other relatives. Her room is on the other side of Applebloom's room." I walked upstairs and opened the door to her room. The bed was a queen size, for ponies. I moved the blanket and got in the bed. I fell asleep, almost immediately.