//------------------------------// // The Great Moon-Cheese Debate // Story: When Good Sisters Go to War // by thehalfelf //------------------------------// The Great Moon-Cheese Debate It was a frigid morning in the breakfast nook.  Not because of the weather--outside the castle it was another beautiful spring morning, and it was looking to be a great day.  Inside, however, enough frigid glares were shooting across the breakfast table to lower the temperature. To be expected, Celestia and Luna both stared at the other with a glare more competitive than hostile.  Slowly, the scores had almost leveled.  Thirty-seven for Princess Luna, and thirty-three for Celestia.  All that was needed was one good prank to put one ahead of the other.  Twenty days, two thirds of the month, still remained. Much more surprisingly, on the other side of the table, Discord routinely glared daggers at Cadence, who, to her credit, pretended not to notice.  In the middle of them Shining Armor sat, blinking in confusion as he continually looked back and forth, desperately trying to figure out what was going on. “So, Sister, are thy books continuing to misbehave themselves?” Luna asked with a large smirk. “No, not after I put them in your room.”  Luna’s smile died, replaced by a look of abject horror.  Celestia smiled and levitated an oversized flyswatter to her sister. Luna coughed and discretely stowed the flyswatter under a wing.  “We are sure it is unneeded, but our lesson to the foals today is a prank-free zone.” “Of course,” Celestia replied, popping a blueberry in her mouth around an innocent smile.  “I won’t do anything to you during your presentation.” Across the table, Shining sighed and relaxed.  “Some time off sounds good, actually.” “I would not count on it,” Discord replied.  “I have seen that smile.  She’s planning something.” “No, she can’t.  She can’t do anything that might harm Princess Luna’s public opinion, though the pie in the face came somewhat close...” “You’re right, she can’t,” Cadence said, jumping into the conversation.  “Aunt Celestia can’t do anything personally, but... we’ll just have to see...”  The three judges turned to look back at the two sisters, still trading friendly taunts in between bites of breakfast.  “We’ll see...” _--_--_--_--_--_ “Now, class, Twilight Sparkle had to do a lot of work to get the princess here to talk to us, so I want you all to be on your best behavior, okay?” Luna heard the teacher, a bubbly mare by the name of Cheerilee, on the other side of the door say. “Yes, Miss Cheerilee,” the class chorused.  Luna cracked the door open and stared out into the sea of small, eager faces.  She closed the door quickly, before any of them could look her way, and turned back to the small pile of notes prepared for this lesson.  Her eyes frantically scanned the sheets of paper, even though she knew all of it by heart.  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea...  One student interested in astronomy is one thing, but an entire class of foals who have never seen a telescope before?  How are We supposed to get the attention of uninterested children? The door opening drew the princess from her thoughts.  Cheerilee poked her head in, smiling at the dark alicorn.  “They are ready for you, Your Majesty,” she said quickly before bowing out again.  Luna took a deep breath and stashed the papers before heading out into the classroom. Dozens of eyes, ranging from bright and engaged to dull and bored stared at the princess as she slowly walked to the front of the class.  She paused there to take a deep breath.  “H-Hello...” “Hello, Princess Luna,” most of the class replied.  From the back of the room, Cheerilee gave the princess an encouraging smile. “Now, We have been told by both Twilight Sparkle and your teacher that you are studying astronomy, is that correct?” Luna tried again. As one, the class nodded. ‘Just start, they’ll listen,’ Cheerilee mouthed from her table at the back of the room. Luna closed her eyes, picturing her notes and the plans given to her the day before by the teacher.  Instantly, her form relaxed, and she picked up a piece of chalk.  “Now then, let’s begin with the stars. “Most ponies believe that time is a linear progression from cause to effect, but in reality, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it’s more like a big... ball, of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, stuff...” “Um, Princess Luna?” one little filly asked, waving her hoof in the air, “what does this have to do with stars?” The alicorn chuckled nervously.  “Right.  As I was saying, stars.  Ponies believe that We create the stars, which is not strictly true.  Many stars exist, and have existed, independent of Us and Our meddlings, however they are... incomplete.  They have no shape or form.” Luna could feel the attention slipping.  Eyes shifted, hooves tapped irregular beats on the floor.  Pleading, the princess looked back towards Cheerilee  ‘Keep going,’  the teacher mouthed, ‘they’re listening.  You’re doing fine.’ It was a blatant lie.  Neither Cheerilee or Luna thought a single foal was still listening.  Luna closed her eyes, confusing the three ponies in the room actually watching.  This is why We do not teach.  Foals have no patience for learning things they are not interested in, so what would Sister do.... Suddenly, Luna’s eyes opened, shining.  All of the shutters on the windows blew shut, the noise shocking all of the foals in the room to attention, but it didn’t stop there.  Submerged in the dark, the class focused on the only light source nearby; a single speck of light on the tip of Luna’s horn.  Before anypony could question what was going on, the light exploded outward, filling the top of the room with small pinpricks of light, stars, that wandered aimlessly across the ceiling. “As We were saying,” Luna said to her captive audience; still staring at the night sky inside of their classroom, “We do not create the stars, We give them form, and arrange them in the night sky.”  Her horn flashed again, and the stars all froze in the sky.  “Every night, We freeze the stars where they float, like this.  Then We give them purpose,” the stars slowly morphed around, changing size and shape, slowly moving around to form constellations. A little filly in the second row raised her hoof.  “But what ‘bout the moon, Princess?” she squeaked. “We were just about to say,” Luna replied with a smile.  “The moon, she is different.  She has been around as long as the stars, but she has always had form, had substance, all she lacks is purpose.  Every night, when We set the stars back to their homes, we also set the moon upon her course in the night sky.”  Following her words, a small white sphere appeared in one corner of the classroom, and slowly made its way to the opposite corner. All eyes tracked the orb across the room.  “Of course,” Luna said, “We do not give her the same track daily.  She may just be rock, but We would not want her bored.” Once again, the filly raised her hoof.  “Rock?  I thought the moon was made of cheese.” “Of course not,” Luna snorted, “that would be ridiculous.” “But it would hafta be, or else what would Nightmare Moon eat when she was on the moon?” the filly continued, assent echoed by a few others in the class. The princess sighed.  It was going to be a long afternoon. Four hours later, Luna boarded a pegasus-drawn carriage headed back to Canterlot.  She had no proof of shenanigans, no evidence of rule-bending, nothing more than a gut feeling.  But it was a strong one, and Luna would have her revenge. _--_--_--_--_--_ “So, was it a prank, or not?” asked an irritated Cadence, “I’m tired, and would like to have my bed back.” Discord kicked his limbs out, covering every inch of the bedspread and yawned.  “But it was so boring, all that learning and information and teaching, and from Lulu, no less!  Color me surprised.” Cadence rose from the couch, gently easing the sleeping Shining off of her, and walked over to the bed.  With a shove, she sent Discord tumbling to the floor.  “Now what was that for?” the floored god of chaos asked.  “I didn’t do anything to you.” “I told you, I wanted my bed back.”  The pink alicorn hopped back up on the bed, taking plenty of time to make herself comfortable.  “So, score?” “Now now, Cadence, you’re married.”  Discord’s chuckle filled the room.  “But, if you insist...” “Touch me and I’ll tie you up with your tail and ship you to a stonemason’s,” Cadence spat.  “I was talking about this contest.  Was that a prank, and do we score it?” “That would be breaking the rules, which state that one cannot defame the other in a public venue.  What is more public than a school house, while teaching the next generation of little ponies?  But did anything actually happen?”  Discord looked over towards the couch, to the front-row seats of the prank war.  “I... do not recall.” “So, this day was wasted for nothing?” “Yes.  How disappointing.”  Discord flicked the tip of his tail angrily.  “What a waste of time.”