//------------------------------// // Blackmail and a Black Dress // Story: Enter Nurse Luna! // by Foxy Kimchi //------------------------------// Hoplite inwardly smiled. It would have been on his face, but he was on guard duty, and as such, it mandated that he wear the 'Royal Guard' face. For the day guard, it was pretty easy to do, normally. That is, if Lethe wasn’t around, mocking him, trying to make silly bets, playing her games, or shaking her ass—ets. Lethe was the antithesis to how a guard should act, but for some reason, Luna personally allowed it. Today, however, was a different day, because Hoplite couldn’t help but smirk a little. Again, Lethe was making his job a tad more difficult. No, it wasn’t her shenanigans or crazy cooked-up plans, but because Lethe was struggling to do hers. If he were to be perfectly honest, he would admit that he was slightly scared when he first met Lethe. It wasn’t because of her personality, but in all fairness, it didn’t help either, but because she was the first bat pony he ever met. The leathery wings, the slitted eyes, the sharp fangs… it was unnerving to say the least. But it was not his job to question Princess Luna’s personal tastes. But now, he was enjoying the way she tried so desperately hard to not scowl or how her hackles were raised on the back of her neck. The way she slightly bared her teeth, exposing her small fangs, or how she twitched as she struggled to keep her composure, for Hoplite, it was endearing… especially those small tufts of fur on the tip of her ears. “Lethe,” Hoplite whispered, trying to keep his voice level. “What?” Lethe hissed through her teeth, her voice and body quivering. “You’re slouching.” Lethe twitched as she violently turned her head, glaring at Hoplite while her nostrils flared. “You know the drill, Lethe. We must have proper posture when guarding.” Lethe glared harder, her panting growing louder. “Lethe…” “...” “Don’t be a sore loser.” Lethe sat down on her haunches, screaming into her forehooves. Hoplite’s smirk grew slightly larger. “You’re horrible!” Lethe growled as she pointed a hoof. “Horrible?” “Yes! This… this is torture!” “Torture? You mean standing there and doing your job?” “Yes! How can you be so freaking boring? Out of all the things you could have done, you want to work?” “Yep.” “C’mon, man! Make me raid the kitchens, or beat up somepony, or at least steal Celestia’s socks!” Hoplite blushed. “What?” “I need my blood pumping, man!” Hoplite shook his head, removing the thought of his boss in socks. “Nope.” The color drained from the night guard’s face before turning red. She shoved her face into Hoplite’s. “You heartless bastard!” “Lethe,” Hoplite replied, “back to your post.” Lethe’s face contorted in rage as she lifted her hoof. “Don’t be a sore loser, Lethe,” Hoplite repeated, his smugness reaching maximum levels. The mare flung her hooves, screaming a silent wail of frustration. Hoplite took the blunt end of his spear, gently poking her side. Normally, it was never smart to poke a bear or mad bat pony from Tartarus, but he was having too much fun. That was something he would worry about in twenty hours. “Back to your post, soldier.” “I am going to kick your ass later,” Lethe hissed, giving her best death glare as she stood up. Hoplite poked her again. “Back to work.” Luna hummed as she walked through the halls, pushing a small cart with her. It had already been an entire afternoon since she trusted her ponies with running the palace, and Canterlot was not on fire, so she considered it a success. But now, she had more pressing matters. Her elder sister was sick, and she truly needed some help. Yet, that didn’t mean she can get some things during this ‘unfortunate’ situation. “Why hello there, my little ponies,” Luna greeted with a sing-song voice. “Evening, Princess Luna,” Hoplite replied with a salute. Luna responded with a slight nod and smiled. She turned her head to her night guard, expecting some witty remark or inappropriate introduction. Luna knew that Lethe, at times, could be troublesome, but she loved the fact that Lethe treated her like a pony first and princess second. It was nice to be fawned over, but it was also nice to have a friend that treated you as a friend. Luna blinked, not hearing anything yet. She looked closer at Lethe who was standing upright. It was faint, but there was a slight scowl on her face. “Private Lethe?” The bat pony’s jaw moved, mumbling something. “Lethe,” Hoplite said, a bit of mirth in his voice. Luna again blinked in confusion. “Lethe, your princess is waiting.” The night guard’s nostrils flared. “Private Lethe of the fourth Lunar Regiment reporting for duty, your majesty,” Lethe grunted, the words forced. Hoplite snorted, trying to keep his composure. “Lethe… is everything fine?” “Yes,” Lethe grunted. “Everything is fine, your majesty, I am simply doing my job.” This is not right. Lethe rarely does her job… unless it involves violence, Luna thought. “Private Lethe, what is going on?” Lethe’s eye twitched. “Nothing, Princess Luna.” Luna let out a sigh. “Private Hoplite.” “Yes, Princess Luna?” “Explain Lethe’s behavior.” The day guard’s eyes widened, his eyes darting around. “Ummm…” “Yes?” “Lethe lost a bet…” Luna blinked again. “What?” “Lethe lost a bet.” The moon princess shook her head, turning back to her night guard. “You mean Lethe, Lethe, lost a bet.” “Um, yes…” “How?” “Hoofwrestling.” “It wasn’t my fault!” Luna raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?” Lethe pointed a hoof at Hoplite. “That bastard cheated!” “Cheated? Is that so, Private Hoplite?” “No,” Hoplite replied flatly. “That freaking liar!” Lethe shrieked. Luna rubbed her chin. “How did he cheat then, Private Lethe?” “He…” Lethe replied weakly, her ears flattening “He—” “There was a spider, and Lethe is afraid of spiders,” Hoplite interrupted. “I am not!” Luna giggled. “The mighty Lethe afraid of spiders?” Lethe took off her helmet, screaming into it. “So, what were the stakes?” Luna asked. “Loser has to do what the other says for twenty-four hours.” Luna flared her wings, a tinge of red on her cheeks. “My, how scandalous!” she replied with a flourish. “How naughty of thee, Private Hoplite, wanting a mare to do what you want?” “What?” Hoplite gasped, his face turning red. “I-it was her idea!” Luna gasped even louder. “Oh? And what were you planning on, Lethe?” Lethe’s eye twitched again. A mischievous smile formed on Luna’s lips. “Or was it your plan to lose all along, hmm?” Lethe screamed again. “Well then, have fun, you two!” Luna said as she walked into Celestia’s room, her cart in tow. Lethe shot an angry glare at Hoplite. “I am gonna kick your ass after this, you know that?” she hissed. Hoplite rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you already told me. But now, get back to work.” Lethe yanked her mane, screaming. Luna pulled back the curtains, the last remnants of the sunlight passing through the balcony window. Her ears flicked, hearing a gurgling sound coming from the bed. “Come now, that is not very dignified for a Princess of Equestria.” Celestia groaned, trying to wrap herself in her sheets. Luna rolled her eyes as she sat down on the edge of the bed, gently tugging at the sheets. “Celestia, I know you’re tired, but I brought dinner.” Celestia’s ears flicked. “Come now, if you want to recover quickly, then you need to eat.” The elder princess let out a gurgle. Luna rolled her eyes again. “I brought cake.” She smiled when her sister quickly rose, rather as quickly as a pony with the flu can. Celestia blinked, coughing into her hoof. “W-where?” Luna levitated a covered plate toward them and lifted the silver lid, revealing a large slice of chocolate cake. The sun princess’ eyes widened, licking her lips before coughing. “But first,” Luna said as she closed the lid, hiding the delectable dessert, “you need to eat an actual meal.” “But I want my cake now,” Celestia whined as she pursed her lips in a pout. “Of course you do,” Luna remarked as she floated another platter towards her sister, lifting the lid. “Stew, like before, something easy on the stomach. Eat this first, and then you can get your cake. “Fine,” Celestia replied as she sat up, propping herself on a mountain of pillows. She sniffed, her normally white nose now red. Luna inwardly grinned to herself, watching her sister slowly eat her meal. The white alicorn shoulders were slouched, her mane and tail were a mess, and the feathers on her wings were sticking out all over the place. Her defenses are down, strike when the iron is hot! Luna coughed slightly as she floated over a stack of parchments and a quill. “What is that?” Celestia asked as she lifted her head. “Oh nothing, thou have nothing to worry about, dear sister,” Luna answered as she slipped back into her old dialect, her voice more cheery than normal. Celestia squinted her eyes, slowly eating her meal. Unfortunately for her, it too had alfalfa. “Hmm.” Luna read the parchment in front of her, licking the tip of the quill. “A Moon theme park? Approved.” Celestia choked, hitting her chest with a hoof. “W-wait, what?” “Ahh, ahh, ahh!” Luna exclaimed as she held up a hoof. “I am acting princess right now as per thou order. Do not question your princess.” “B-but we don’t have the budget to build a theme park!” “We will worry about that later. Please eat thy meal.” “But—” “No buts! Unless it is thy moon flank.” “What?” “Shh!” Luna hissed before looking back at her stack of parchments. “More nightclubs around the palace? Approved.” Again, Celestia coughed on her food. She panted, trying to catch her breath. “What? What kind of approval is that?” “We get bored at night, so if somepony wants more nightclubs around the palace, then we will approve.” “But the noise! How will ponies sleep?” “That is something we don’t have to worry about.” “Luna, this is crazy!” “Hmm, a request to fire Soggy Grounds? Approved.” “What! No, you can’t!” “Celestia, thou must be crazy to keep him. He makes the worst cup of coffee ever! No matter what we give him, no matter what device, his coffee is always terrible!” “I know, that is why we must keep him!” “Thou are making no sense.” “But if he is gone, then what can I complain about?” “What?” “Luna, if he is gone, then my life would be perfect, therefore I couldn’t complain about anything. I don’t want to live in that kind of world. I like to complain!” “Too bad, his coffee is terrible.” A tear rolled down Celestia’s cheek, her lower lip quivering. “Now, in the interest of future peace and in the spirit of kindness and generosity, I decree that Friday shall henceforce be ‘Hug a Changeling Day’!” Luna shouted as her horn glowed, a bright flash appearing next to her. Celestia’s jaw dropped, her eyes widening as she stared at a changeling struggling in her sister’s aura. “Wait, where am I?” the changeling cried out. It gasped as Luna gave it a hug, nuzzling it with her cheek. “Isn’t it adorable, sister?” Luna exclaimed with a squee. “I’ve already got mine!” The changeling’s eyes widened, its body shaking as it saw the moon princess. It turned its head towards Celestia. “P-please, save me! D-don’t let her hurt me again! I’ll do anything! I’ll cook, I’ll clean, I will serve you and be your servant, just save—” The changeling disappeared in another flash. “It will be wonderful, sister!” Luna proclaimed, “Everypony will hug a changeling. They will be like those cute little dogs. Every mare would carry a changeling in their saddle bags!” Celestia blinked, clinging onto her blankets. “Luna… what? W-where did you get that changeling?” “Oh, him,” Luna replied casually. “I found him.” “What are you going to do to it?” “Nothing to worry about!” Luna exclaimed as she clapped her hooves. “Just giving it all the love and affection it needs!” “What exactly does that mean—” “Now, what is next? Plushies of the Moon Princess for everypony? Approved.” Celestia only groaned as she placed her heads in her hooves, placing what she just saw deep into the subconscious of her mind and locking it away for now. She was already tired, confused, hungry for cake, and Luna was not helping. “Why?” “So everypony can bask in the glory that is Princess Luna!” Luna exclaimed as she threw up her hooves, sparkles in her eyes. “We don’t have the bits for this…” “Nonsense, dear sister! Thou cannot put a price on the fabulosity that is the Princess of the Night!” Luna said, flicking her starry mane. “Luna,” Celestia weakly coughed. “Just give me my cake.” “And with their new found plushies, I, Princess Luna of the Night,” Luna shouted as she stood on her hind legs, her wings flaring out, “shall reverse the cycles of the day and night!” “WHAT?” “Yes,” Luna continued with a flourish, “the night shall last… from 6:00 AM to 6:00 PM! Everypony will enjoy a normal amount of night but at a different time!” “Luna, you can’t!” “I can too. We are not increasing the amount of time of night, just putting it in a different time.” “But, but, ponies can’t switch to those schedules like that.” “Who said they will have to switch their schedules? Instead of the crack of dawn, ponies will wake up to the crack of dusk! They will just wake up to the night is all!” Celestia groaned louder. “Luna, please just give me my cake…” “Neigh!” Luna shouted, looking over her sister. She rubbed her chin, a smirk forming on her face. “Speaking of which, I think thou needs another diet.” Celestia jerked her head up, her eyes wide as whatever color drained from her face. “W-what…” “Thou heard me. You seem to be getting tubby again, Tubby Tia...” Celestia scowled, her nostrils flaring, which was quite the sight since it was bright red. “Hmm, yes. You seem to putting back some weight. I order thee to partake in the Royal Diet, again.” Celestia’s jaw dropped, her pupils shrinking to pinpricks. “N-no, you c-can’t…” A gentle smile formed on Luna’s face as she slowly stroked her sister’s mane. “There, there sister. Everything will be alright…” Celestia looked up, a glimmer of hope on her face. “I am making sure your secretary, Feather Duster, will be by your side to assist you in your time of need.” Celestia jumped forward, laying in front of her sister with her forehooves together in a pleading gesture. “I beg thee, Luna, please no! Feather Duster will make me work even harder. I can’t survive another diet. I need my carbs!” Celestia wrapped her hooves around her sister’s waist, her eyes tearing up. “Sister, please, I beg thee, have mercy on your sister!” “We cannot. We are simply looking after your health and well being.” “What do you want from me?” Celestia wailed. “Anything! I cannot survive another diet! I simply can’t!” Perfect, Luna thought with a smile. “Anything?” “Yes, anything!” “Very well, Tia!” Luna exclaimed with a wicked grin. “I will rescind all these decrees, but in return…” “Yes?” Celestia whimpered, her eyes filled with fear. “We, Princess Luna, demand unlimited access to your bathroom!” “What, why?” “We like thou shower better!” “You have your own shower!” “Your’s is better.” “How?” “It is bigger to fit thy massive posterior!” Celestia blinked before she scowled. “I am not fat! I have a healthy, attractive weight!” “Regardless of how big thy rear is, we demand your shower!” “But you take all the hot water!” “Do you agree to that?” “B-but!” “Do you agree?” Celestia hung her head, her ears flattening. “Fine…” “Good, and I also demand unlimited use of Mr. Scrubby.” “My toothbrush?” “Yes.” “Why mine?” Celestia whined. “Because your’s is better.” “I can get you the same brand and toothbrush!” “It is not the same!” Luna pouted. “But it’s mine!” “Either you let me use your bathroom and toothbrush, or you are going on a diet.” “Luna, please!” Celestia whined louder, tightening her grip. “What will it be, sister?” Celestia sighed, hanging her head again. “Fine…” “Good.” Luna clapped her hooves, the stack of parchments bursting in blue flames. “Can I please have my cake?” Celestia sighed as she sat back on her bed, resting on her pillows. “Very well,” Luna replied as she lifted a glass filled with a viscous, black liquid. “But first, your medicine.” Celestia’s face turned green. “Please, not that vile thing.” “Sister, I am being serious. This will make you feel better. Didn’t it work the first time?” “Yeah…” “Come on, just drink it quickly then you can have your chocolate cake. I know it is your favorite.” Celestia groaned, taking the glass in her hooves. “The cake better be good…” “Of course, Chef Ram Sea made it specifically for you.” Like the first time, Celestia closed her eyes. She placed her lips on the edge of the glass and quickly threw her head back, trying to chug it down as fast as possible. Luna winced, knowing full well how bad that concoction really was. Again, like before, Celestia gagged as she threw the cup away, clamping her muzzle with her hooves. Luckily, her sister floated a glass of water to her. “There, all done,” Luna stated with a gentle smile. “That tasted so bad,” Celestia gasped as she finished her water. “Can I please, please have that cake now?” “Of course,” Luna replied as she levitated the cake onto Celestia’s lap. The moon princess knew she could have teased her sister more, but not when her sister was so vulnerable. As a reward, she made sure that her sister got the best cake in Equestria. She smiled, watching her sister devour it with gusto. “Better?” Celestia nodded weakly, finishing the last bite. Her shoulders slouched as her eyelids drooped. “Come now, rest, sister,” Luna said softly, pulling up the sheets. “I had a whole cake made. There will be more later.” “That sounds heavenly,” Celestia weakly replied, leaning back into her bed. “Sweet dreams, sister,” Luna whispered as she nuzzled her sister. Hoplite sighed, a smile on his lips. Seeing Lethe squirm just doing her job was worth whatever Lethe was going to throw at him when this was over. He looked over, seeing Lethe twitch now and then, struggling to keep her composure. Wonder when she will crack… His thoughts were interrupted as his boss’ sister stepped out. “Luna, save me!” Lethe shouted as she jumped in front of her. Luna blinked. “I can’t take this anymore!” “Take what?” Luna asked. “I can’t stand… just standing here!” Hoplite rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Hoplite! This is your damn fault!” “Yep, cause I made the bet…” “Doesn’t matter!” The moon princess smiled. “Private Lethe, may I ask what is the matter?” “This!” Lethe shouted as she flailed her hooves. “This is so boring! How am I suppose to stand here and do nothing?” “It is your job, Lethe…” Hoplite sighed. “No, my job is to kick ass, not stand here and twiddle my hooves. Luna, order me to kick his ass!” “Hey, wait a minute!” “Do it, Luna, order me to do something! I’m going crazy not being able to do anything. What kind of sick bastard wins a bet then orders me to work? Seriously?” “Well, it is driving you crazy, and giving me some time to relax.” Luna giggled as she covered her mouth with a hoof. “You two are adorable, you know that.” “No, we’re not!” both of them shouted in unison. “I see,” Luna said, her voice filled with mirth. “Luna, for the love of your moon, make me do something. I need some adrenaline.” “Oh, is that what you want?” Luna asked, a grin on her face. Hoplite watched Lethe nod her head vigorously. He let out a small jump as Luna brought her muzzle next to his ear, a blush forming on his face. “You know,” Luna whispered, her voice full of mischief, “I am fully aware that you are trying to aggravate my guard, the one I personally hoof picked…” Celestia help me, Hoplite thought as he gulped. “I-I…” “You know,” Luna continued, bringing her muzzle a little closer, “if you really want to get under her skin, make her act more feminine.” “What?” Hoplite blinked in confusion. “What are you two doing!” Lethe hissed. “Luna, you better be whispering threats of unspeakable horror to him.” “Perhaps I am,” Luna replied as she lifted her head. Hoplite looked at Luna, then at Lethe, then back at Luna who winked at him. He coughed into his hoof. “Alright, Lethe, I got something you can do that is not work.” Lethe glared at him. “What?” Hoplite inhaled, puffing out his chest. “I want you to wear a dress and eat dinner like a civilized pony. That means no talking with your mouth full, keeping your food and your hooves to yourself, and no fights.” The night guard’s jaw dropped, her slitted eyes wide. “W-what?” “You heard me.” Lethe bared her fangs, a scowl forming. “You sick pervert…” “Says the mare that wants to play strip poker.” “That’s not the point! I’m not doing it!” “That’s what I want.” “No!” Lethe shrieked, jabbing her hoof at Hoplite. “Screw you!” “Either that, or we go to the arachnid exhibit at the Canterlot Zoo.” Lethe’s hoof fell limp. “W-what?” “The arachnid exhibit, you know, the one where they put giant spiders on you.” “S-spiders?” Lethe whimpered, her face turning pale. “Yup, big, hairy spiders.” “Oh my, it seems you are in quite the predicament, my little pony,” Luna stated cheerfully. “What will you do? Act appropriately or face your greatest fear?” Lethe snapped her head at Luna, pointing a trembling hoof at her. “You!” “Moi?” “You traitor! You gave him the idea!” “I have no idea what you are talking about, my little pony.” “T-this is not fair!” Lethe shrieked as she stomped her hoof. “It was not supposed to go like this! It was supposed to go my way! I am supposed to win!” “You can’t win everything, Private Lethe. The world does not work like that.” “It should for me!” Hoplite sighed, a grin on his face as he watched the two. “So,” Luna said, “what will it be?” “I… I…” “Don’t be a spoilsport,” Hoplite said. Lethe crossed her forehooves as she sat down, a blush on her face. “I don’t own a dress, so this whole thing is nullified.” “You don’t have a dress?” “No, I don’t. Dresses are stupid.” “Because?” “Because all clothes are stupid!” Lethe exclaimed as she threw up her hooves. “They serve no purpose. Ponies don’t wear clothes, so why would I have one?” “Hmm, tis indeed true,” Luna agreed, rubbing her chin. “But it is culture. Sometimes, culture does not make sense, like fashion.” “Too bad. I don’t have a dress, so pick something else.” “Oh, Lethe,” Luna chimed, “you can borrow one of mine.” “What?” both guards asked in unison. “I would be happy to lend you a dress for this noble endeavor.” “Woah, woah, woah,” Lethe protested, “no offense, but I don’t think you and I are the same size.” She stretched her forehooves. “You’re kinda tall compared to the rest of us.” “Oh, I know that,” Luna chuckled, “but I have a few older ones. I had a few given to me when I returned back to Equestria. I was smaller back then.” “But…” “See, Lethe? There is nothing stopping you.” “But!” “C’mon, Lethe, a bet is a bet.” Lethe looked at the two ponies, her eyes darting around. She sighed and pouted, letting out a mumble. “What was that?” “FineIwilldoit” “What?” “Fine! I’ll wear the stupid dress!” yelled Lethe, baring her teeth. “Excellent!” Luna cheered as she grabbed Lethe. “H-hey!” Lethe yelped as she was pushed away. “Now, Private Hoplite, you just wait here, and I’ll bring her to you when she is ready,” Luna continued, pushing the struggling mare. “Okay…” Hoplite replied, his wide eyes watching the two mares turn around the corner. “Hey, we’re pals, right, Luna?” he heard Lethe ask with a nervous tone. “This is just show, and you are really bailing me out, right?” “Nope!” Luna chirped happily. Lethe let out a whine. Hoplite smiled as he returned to his post. “Too tight, too tight!” Lethe yelled. “Sorry!” Luna replied as she threw up her hooves. “I did not mean to hurt you.” Lethe gasped as she stood on all fours, an elegant black dress trailing from her neck to her tail. The hemline barely reached passed her barrel as it traced around her flank, accentuating the willow branch that was her cutie mark. She panted, trying to catch her breath. The dress unzipped, leaving her back exposed. “Hmm, perhaps I made it too small,” Luna mused as she lifted fabric scraps off the floor. “You think!” “I thought it would fit, but it would seem your body type is… different from mine.” “Dammit, Luna! I am not fat!” “I never said that,” Luna replied defensively. “I took the measurements, and it should fit. A tight fit, but it should fit.” “No, it won’t!” Lethe yelled back. “It will, you just have to ‘suck it up’ as they say nowadays.” “I told you, I already tried. It is not going to fit!” Lethe hissed. “Well then,” Luna replied as she walked to her closet, “perhaps we should use a corset. I think I have one here somewhere.” Lethe’s eyes widened, jumping on her hooves. “Nononononononononnono! No freaking corset!” Luna shrugged. “I was just offering a possible suggestion.” “No!” “Well, this is the only dress I posses, unless you want an extremely gaudy and frou frouffy dress. If we’re not going to use a corset, then stop complaining.” Lethe grumbled, “Fine.” “Alright then,” Luna replied with a smile, her horn glowing as it grasped the zipper. “On the count of three.” Lethe exhaled, trying to shrink her size and brace herself. “One, two,” Luna said before she yanked the zipper up. Lethe yelped as she stumbled forward, feeling the outfit constricting her chest. “There!” Luna cheered with a clap of her hooves. “I told thee it would fit, did I not?” Lethe’s legs wobbled as she struggled to stand. “I can… I can barely breathe,” Lethe wheezed. “Nonsense,” Luna replied as she looked at her guard. “You just have to get used to it.” Lethe gasped, grunting. “This is not comfortable at all.” “Rarity once told me that fashion rarely is,” Luna remarked with a smile. She floated over a large mirror. “You look stunning, by the way.” Lethe bit her lower lip, shying away from the mirror as her face turned red. “I look dumb,” she mumbled, her ears splayed back. Luna giggled as she watched her guard shy away. It amused her to see the normally loud and in your face Lethe in such a confused state. “This dress is really—” “Very form fitting I must say,” Luna interrupted. “I was going to say bone-crushing tight…” Lethe responded. “As I said, form fitting.” Luna giggled again. “Come now, Lethe, I must say it is accenting your curves. There is nothing to be ashamed of.” “I don’t like this at all.” “Lethe, you are able to wear armor all day, even in the sun, but you cannot wear a simple dress?” Lethe tried to hide behind her mane. “It is just not the dress, Luna, it’s all of this.” “Hmm?” Lethe looked at herself in the mirror. “This isn’t me.” “What do you mean?” “Look at me, Luna,” Lethe said with a pout. “I am suppose to kick ass, not flaunt mine!” Luna covered her muzzle with a hoof, trying to stifle her laughter. “What’s so funny?” Lethe asked with a growl. “You, the indomitable Lethe.” A blush appeared on the guard’s face. “The fearless guard.” The blush grew brighter. “And, I quote, the Breaker of Balls…” Lethe threw her head in her forehooves. “Can’t handle showing her femininity. Tis truly funny.” “Why are you doing this?” “Because you lost a bet.” “No, I mean you. Why are you in this?” “Moi? I thought it was obvious. I am just trying to nurture young love. I am the Princess of the Night.” Lethe jerked her head up. “I am not in love!” Luna raised an eyebrow as she started to pace around Lethe. “Is that so?” “Yes!” Lethe replied with a huff. “But,” Luna said as she lowered her head, “you constantly prod and tease Hoplite with your bets and games. Oh, you may mess with other ponies, but you seem to always give the most attention to him. Just him, and only him. “It makes me wonder,” Luna continued as she circled around Lethe, a smile on her face. “Why Hoplite? It is not because you do not like him, because if thou truly did, you would have requested to be with a different guard.” “W-we are forced to be together!” “Come now, Lethe, I know the situation. At one time, you were forced to be with him, but that time has long since passed. You always had the option to pair up with another pony, but you didn’t. Instead, you stayed by his side. No other pony out there warrants as much of your attention than him. “So tell me, my little pony, why do you do all those things to poor Hoplite?” “I-I…” Lethe stammered as she fumbled her words, her face turning brighter. “Hmmm?” Luna replied as she brought her face right into Lethe’s, a large smile on her face. “Because I can!” Lethe huffed defensively. “Because I like having a punching bag. Because I like to mess with him. Fine, Luna, I’ll admit that I am friends with him, and I like to hang around him at work. I don’t have many friends here, Luna, you know that, but he is the closest thing to one besides you. “I don’t have to change around him. I can mess around with him, and he won’t get his tail in a knot over it. He actually tries to stand up to me instead of avoiding me like the other pansies. I like that about him. He can deal with me, I can deal with him. “But with all that said,” Lethe continued as she threw up her hooves. “I am not the pony drawing connections where they don’t freaking exist, so don’t think you know me, Luna!” Luna giggled knowingly. “Fair enough. Here, let me add some makeup and brush your mane.” “No…” “Come now, a little touching up wouldn’t hurt…” “This wasn’t part of the deal!” “Now, Lethe,” Luna replied as she floated over a brush and cosmetic kit, “I never knew you to be one to half-do something.” “This is different, this isn’t on my terms…” “Well, think of it this way. I am sure you want to leave certain ponies speechless and stumbling, if not just to mess with them.” Lethe frowned as she crossed her forehooves again. “Hmm?” Lethe sighed, slouching. “Fine…” “There we go!” Luna replied as she brushed the guard’s mane. She hummed a little tune as she cleaned Lethe up, adding a dash of makeup there and a curl of the mane here. “Voila!” Lethe blinked as she looked at the mirror before she wilted, turning red. “You clean up amazingly well, you know that.” Lethe huffed as she stood up. “I seriously feel like my tail is being lifted with this.” “It is not. You are simply not used to wearing a dress.” Lethe groaned as she took a few awkward steps, tugging on the end of her skirt. “Ok, this is getting annoying. It feels like the dress is riding up just so everyone can see my ass.” “That should not be a problem.” Lethe tugged at her dress again. “I seriously think who ever designed this stupid dress just wanted to see under a mare’s tail.” “Well, if you are so worried about that, I am sure I can find some undergarments—” “HOLY CRAP, I AM NOT GOING TO WEAR PANTIES, LUNA!” Lethe shouted as loud as she could. “Alright, alright,” Luna replied, “just offering.” Lethe yanked Luna’s door open, walking out to the hall. “Let’s get this stupid thing over with!” Luna rolled her eyes, following Lethe. “Ah, young love.”