//------------------------------// // Making a splash // Story: Smashed // by Yoru no Seishin //------------------------------// A few bounces and I made it to the sculpture garden. The next step was infiltrating the castle and the easiest way to do that would be a distraction. I surveyed the area taking note of the guards positioned at the nearest entrance and the small platoon of pegasi that had passed by. Target located and now comes the matter of ammunition. Spying a good sized rock, I grabbed it and gave it a few practice tosses, before taking aim. Smack Down I watched as the rock soared through the air before landing on a pegasus’s head. It didn’t inflict major damage, but it was enough to disrupt his flying and send him to the ground. I watched as the other pegasi flew down to help him and were soon joined by the guards that were at the entrance. My path clear, I made my way to the castle wall. I searched for the next location, a balcony above me, and had quickly climbed to it. Judging from the décor, I assume this Lulu’s room. Either that or Tia’s going through an emo phase. However, it struck me as odd when I noticed Lulu’s empty bed, considering it’s the middle of the day. Fearing her probable entrance, I quickly got to work looking for my things. After looking through a large pile of royal documents, diary entries, and some rather ‘interesting’ shopping lists, I had managed to find my item pouch. After checking to make sure everything was there, I strapped it to my leg and made my way to Celestia’s room. I crawled along the ceiling, being sure to stay out of the line of sight of her guards. Inside, it was easy to find what I was looking for. Over on the other side stood a mannequin modeling one of Celestia’s dresses and around its neck was my monocle, fashioned into a necklace. I removed it and returned it to my right eye. Oculus, you there? Took you long enough. Sorry about that. So how was the imprisonment? I think I went insane. What gave you that idea? I think I developed a narrative personality. Wow. I know. How was it being neckwear? A bit degrading at first, but I got over it soon after. As we continued to catch up, my mind drifted to when I arrived here. (1,037 years ago) I slowly came to noticing that my face had been plowed into the ground. Heaving myself up, I tried to exit the dazed state I was in, shaking the dirt from my face. “Ok, so I’m not at the convention. Now, where the fuck am I?” I decided to take note of my surroundings. Maybe, that’ll give me some idea of my location. Trees. Everywhere. “Ok, I’m in a forest. That reeeeaally narrows things down.” My eyes drifted down to the ground, where I see the monocle that the guy gave me. Against better judgment, I reached down to grab it. That was mistake number one. So now I’m standing here staring at my hand, which isn’t my hand. It has three long digits, bulbous fingertips, and it’s webbed. I’m currently trying to resist the urge to scream. I need to find a water source. I need to see what the rest of me looks like. Fortunately, there was a stream nearby. I peered into the shallow depths and instantly knew what I was. I’m a Greninja. I’m a Pokémon! Now, I’ve decided to scream. Unfortunately, the moment was ruined when opening my mouth led to my tongue falling out. I know Greninjas have long tongues, but when it comes out of your own mouth, it kind of throws you for a loop. So I decided to adopt the obvious and positioned my tongue into the traditional scarf position. “This certainly makes talking easier. Now the question is what to do with this?” I was still holding the monocle and I was tempted to put it on. That was mistake number two. As its set over my eye, I start to feel a slight tingling sensation. Then my vision just exploded with detail. “This…is…amazing. Judging from these footprints, someone’s been here recently, approximately 6.53 hours. I see the individual scales on the wings of that butterfly on the other side of the clearing. I can see the wind currents swirling above me. Heck, I can see the moisture droplets in the air.” You sound excited. “Ah!” I apologize for startling you. “Oh, it’s alright. It feels nice knowing insanity has a welcome committee.” What do you mean? “Why it’s obvious I’ve gone mad. I’m picturing myself as a creature from a video game, I’m starting to hear voices, and the fact you’re a feminine voice is probably related to a subconscious desire of wanting to get laid.” I don’t see what your sexual desires have to do with the situation. “Wait a minute. If I truly believe I’m insane, doesn’t that mean I’m not? But then me saying I’m sane means that I’m denying that I’m insane. I’m confused.” You’re not the only one. “Ok, I’m just going to say that I’m sane. It will probably be better in the long run.” Smart decision. “So this is actually happening. Are you actually in my head?” More like I’m on your face. So my monocle is either really hi-tech, enchanted, or some other complex thing I can’t explain. “So…any idea what we should do?” Anything is better than staying here. “Well judging from these footprints, the people who passed earlier are likely in this direction. Following them would be the easiest way of getting to civilization. By the way, name’s Isaac.” Oculus. “Well then Ms. Oculus, I get the feeling this may be the start of a fantastic friendship.” And thus we began our journey, though little did we know we would be treading deeper into the mess we were in. (Present) Get a hold of yourself, Isaac. There will be plenty of time for day dreaming when we’re far away from these ponies. I just had to find one more thing, and its likely Celestia hid it in the most difficult area possible. “Looks like I’m going to have to confront Celestia if I want everything.” Fortunately while you were day dreaming, the guards have left their positions. “Discord’s likely been recaptured, so they’ve gone to join the celebration.” After taking a quick sweep of the area, I had found a nice area above the throne room. I began pooling the water in my hands, being sure to get the length right and flattening it for optimal cutting. Water Shuriken- Sword Mode I plunged the blade through the floor and quickly carved a circular opening, making sure to grab the piece I cut before it hit the floor. I squeezed my way through on to the ceiling of the throne room. Below me, I can see the remains of quite the celebration, the new element bearers, and Ms. Solar Posterior herself. “And now we play the waiting game.” Twilight’s mind was buzzing from the events of today. Discord, the spirit of chaos, had been released, Equestria had been turned upside down, she had almost lost her friends, and everything turned out alright. In one day. She and her friends had been given the hero treatment, which consisted of the largest non-Pinkie party you could imagine. The festivities had died down and the only ponies remaining were her, her friends, and her mentor Princess Celestia. Rainbow Dash and Applejack had gone a little heavy on the cider and were currently lying in a pile. Rarity and Fluttershy were currently engaged in a conversation regarding the feeling they had during their prior brainwashing. Princess Celestia seemed the most placid, gorging on a piece of cake. Yes, everything seemed to be in order. “Wait. Where’s Pinkie?” Somehow Pinkie Pie had managed to disappear during the party, which is weird since the party usually revolves around her. However, before Twilight could ponder how she had done it, the doors opened and in walked the party mare herself balancing what appeared to be a cake on her head. The cake itself was a square, single layer sponge cake covered in a white frosting, and as Pinkie set the cake down on a nearby table, Twilight could see that the top was covered in strawberries. “Pinkie, I’m pretty sure we don’t need any more cake.” “Well of course we need more cake, somepony didn’t get a piece.” “Who didn’t get any cake?” “Well for one, he didn’t” Pinkie said, her hoof pointing upward. Twilight’s eyes followed up to the ceiling and saw what her brain could only describe as a frog in a pink scarf. No sooner than she saw it, the frog dropped to the ground, landing on three of its legs to absorb the shock. The frog rose onto its hind legs standing as tall as Princess Celestia (not counting her horn). “Nin-jaaa greninja (Greetings ponies). Gre’ja greee ja grenin-grenin gre-greninja gre gregre gre-e gre gre-e’gre jaa grenin-gre gre ja grenin (I've come to retrieve something of mine and I don't want things to get ugly).” Twilight stared at the frog for a moment. She had no clue what it had just said and couldn’t help as an embarrassed smile came across her muzzle. The frog only buried its face in its hands, which Twilight considered was its version of a facehoof. “ Gre’gre gregre greee Gre greeninja greningre gre-e ja’ja Ja gre Ninja gre Greeninja gre Nin Gre grenin-gre Nin-gre-nin-ja (It's been over a thousand years and you've yet to learn my language or make a proper translator). Gre Gre nin grenin-gre-gre-e ja ja, Nin (Am I not important to you, Tia)? Gre gre-nin-ja gre-e nin grenin Jaa, ja, nin grenin-gre-jaa (I thought you were into cold, wet, and amphibious). Before Twilight could say anything, she was interrupted by a hoof on her shoulder. She turned to see that it was Princess Celestia. She could tell that the princess wasn’t in a good mood, though she hid it well. “I’d say it’s a pleasure to see you again, but we both know that isn’t true.” "Nin gre jaaa grenin-gre grenin gre ja nin gre-e ja, gre-e grenin greningre gre’gre ja grenin nin-ninja (You fire types always find a way to irk me, but once again it’s not very effective)." “I’ll assume that was a smart remark.” However, the tension was completely shattered as somepony placed herself between the two. Surprisingly, it was Rarity. “I’m sorry princess. I can see that you’re catching up with an acquaintance and I can respect that, but there is an issue I can’t leave ignored.” All eyes were on Rarity as she pointed an accusing hoof at the frog. The tension was high and a silence filled the air. “While that scarf certainly suits you, that shade of pink does not go with that shade blue. I could understand it being an accident if it was being used as an accent, but for a key part of your ensemble, it is inexcusable!” Once again there was silence and everypony thought the same thing. Seriously? The frog looked particularly unamused and Twilight watched in awe as its scarf unfurled revealing that it was the creature’s tongue. Rarity’s fate was sealed as her face was engulfed in tongue. The room was once again silent as everyone prepared themselves for Rarity’s eminent scream. However, Rarity didn’t scream. She just stood there with a shocked expression and a thin coat of saliva on her face. Twilight’s eyes shifted to Pinkie who had walked over to Rarity. She watched as Pinkie gently poked Rarity and jumped as Rarity flopped onto her side, her body giving a slight twitch. Princess Celestia turned her attention to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, could you please take Ms. Rarity to the hospital?” Fluttershy quickly grabbed Rarity and flew through the main door. > I quickly repositioned my tongue and a smile came across my face. How ironic is it that the white marshmallow pony, actually tastes like marshmallows? But the situation quickly tensed as I remembered there are 4 ponies that are likely angry at me for assaulting their friend as well as an alicorn with a grudge. I only had a moment before a rainbow blur rushed at me. I loosened my body and initiated my Acrobatics, vaulting over and positioning myself behind her. I took a deep breath and let forth a cold blast. My Blizzard hit and I was left with a frozen Rainbow Dash. My attention was focused on my recent victim and as a result was surprised by a tackle from behind. I was thrown into the wall, leaving a good sized crater. “Good god that hurt! Note to self: Applejack is part fighting type in addition to the standard earth pony ground type.” I pried myself from the wall and looked as Applejack prepped herself for another charge, and then I had a fun idea. I clapped my hands together and focused on a spot, as Applejack launched herself towards me. I knew earth ponies could gain some serious speed, but she wouldn’t be fast enough as I watched two blades of grass emerge from the ground, the ends tying into a knot. It was funny watching her trip over the Grass Knot and I stepped out of the way as she slide face first into the crater I made. “Two down and three to go.” I turned my head and locked eyes with Twilight and Celestia. That’s odd. Looks like Pinkie managed to get away. Less work for me then. I watched Twilight fire a bolt of magic at me, but I didn’t dodge. There was no need. > Twilight watched as the spell connected with the frog, resulting in an explosion of smoke. Twilight held her breath, hoping her magic had taken down the creature that hurt her friends. Her heart practically stopped as the smoke cleared and the frog walked out unscathed. She watched as the frog’s eyes turned black for a split second, before being overcome with a sense of dread. Her body refused to move as thoughts of hopelessness racked her brain. She watched as the Frog made its way to the princess. She watched as water poured from its hand and shifted into the shape of a sword, the thought of them failing the princess haunting her. She closed her eyes, not wanting to view what would come. However, she didn’t hear the princess’s dying scream. She instead heard something unknown to her. Twilight opened her eyes and saw a shocking sight. The frog’s tongue was wrapped around its head and holding it in place was Pinkie Pie. > “Why do these ponies keep sneaking up on me?!” Here I was about to torture Celestia, then out of nowhere this pink pony shows up and now I’m involuntary tasting my face. I’m now lashing out with my sword hoping to get her off me. I hear numerous objects fall apart before I managed to maneuver my hand to grab her, right as I see my sword slice through Sunbutt’s throne. Immediately, I was overwhelmed by a burst of power from the remains of her throne. Sitting in the center of the throne’s base was my Smash Ball. “Of course! What better place to hide ultimate power, than under her own ass!” After I threw the pink pony aside and I grabbed the ball, I thought that this plan went easier than I expected. CRACK! “Damn you, Murphy.” I turned my head and took notice of the broken doors, the 12 guards standing in the doorway, and the very angry Lulu standing in the middle. “And now is when I make my exit.” I tucked the ball into my item pouch and leapt into the air, bounding across the guards and as soon as I touched ground, I ran for dear life. You would be surprised at how fast webbed feet can run when your adrenaline is pumping and there is angry alicorn chasing you, calling you a “wretched cur”, and firing weird moon magic at you. I’m running as fast I can, avoiding servants and more guards, and just when I think I’ve reached freedom, I run into a dead-end. “There’re no doors, no windows, and no connecting hallways. What is the point of this?” So now my back is against the wall and I have no escape route. I reach for my item pouch and… “Do not thinketh about it. Puteth thy hands where we may seeth them.” I see Lulu still hasn’t lost that accent. I put up my hands in defeat as she approached me, her horn still aglow lest I try anything. The glow tinted slightly and my wrists were instantly bound in chains. So this is how it ends. I’m freed from captivity, reclaimed all my things, humiliated the Element bearers, and now I’m captured again. All of that and I’m back to square one. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself at what had happened today. “Thou laugheth in the face of capture? I commend thee for not cracking under the pressure. However as the winner of our chase, I wisheth thee to bow to me.” At that point, my legs were knocked out from under me. As I fell to the ground, only two words could be heard. “Surf’s up.” As soon as my hands touched the ground, Luna and the guards were immediately surprised by the huge explosion of water that greeted them. Canterlot was currently buzzing with its everyday activities. However, everypony’s attention was gained by the explosion of the castle’s front doors and the good sized river that was allowed to flow through the center of Canterlot. No sooner did the river appear, than everypony witnessed a large frog in chains floating along seemingly without a care in the world. As the frog floated out of the city and down the mountain side, everypony’s ears were assaulted by a stream of profanities from a sopping wet Princess Luna. Luckily the words she had chosen were about 852 years older than the current Equestrian language and quickly returned to the castle to relive her anger.