Chapter 7
Wonder and Want
Polaris arrived at North's home at sunrise just as he had asked her all cleaned up and looking like a star pony again. She had decided against asking for a repeat visit to the surface after thinking about what North might think of this request. Still, she knew that she might have problems focusing on her tasks that day. There were so many things she wished to know about, but at the same time she knew she would never know any of them. The constant speculation was eating away at her concentration as he arrived and the two went about their regular day. It wasn't difficult for him to notice that she was distracted. Normally she was quick and proficient in her tasks, but that day she was fumbling and falling behind easily.
"I am afraid I am going to have to interrupt for a moment." he declared and she jumped to attention as she had just been daydreaming. "I do believe that I am going to have to send you back home for the rest of the day. You still seem to be experiencing exhaustion from yesterday." he told her even though he knew it wasn't exhaustion. She frowned and looked ashamed even though she had no reason to be. "There is no reason to feel upset. What you are experiencing is to be expected." he promised. She nodded, but was biting her lip in uncertainty as she exited. It was exactly what he expected from her. She was bright young filly who enjoyed learning and being unable to understand something would frustrate her. She was perfectly rested and he understood that, but she needed more time to process what she'd seen. He knew that there was nothing he could do to prevent her from wondering, his only concern was that she'd decide to take action on these wonders herself. Still, if she did he felt it was his responsibility to help her. She might not yet be allowed to see the words of those riddles, but he felt that she might have the answers to the questions they raised. Either way, if she was going to pursue that path she would have to choose to do so of her own accord.
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Polaris was being driven crazy by the questions in her head and her want for answers had morphed into a desperate need to know. She considered taking matters into her own hooves as she looked in the direction of the warehouse, but didn't go that way as she considered what good being brash ever did anypony. On the other hoof however the hole of knowledge in her mind was urging her to risk it. She couldn't deny that the need to understand was slowly becoming more and more unbearable. The entirety of her determination was concentrated on not straying from the path to her home to instead of turning to the warehouse of teleports. She knew that actions without consideration of consequences could only end in disaster and so she started going over possible outcomes in her mind. Not many worked out with optimal endings, but she still needed to know horribly bad. Chances like that came along once in a life time.
She entered the door to her home and shut it behind her. She hoped that maybe that closing it would bring finality to her thoughts, but there was no such luck for her. Why doesn't he understand, she thought desperately. North of all ponies should've realized that she wasn't tired, she was confused and distraught. In her rather short life she had never had a need to question things and never had. All she did was try to understand these things better so that she could help others understand them later. It was about learning the rules not changing them, but now she wished that she could. Why couldn't he see her disorientation and help her to better understand what she couldn't grasp. What was that word that she was missing?
She collapsed onto her bed trying desperately to comprehend a concept she had never been presented with before. Just like every time she found herself upset or confused she pulled out a scroll and a quill and ink to distract herself. This time however instead of littering the page with calligraphy as she normally did she drew pictures of that which she'd seen. She drew the trees, making sure to put in every last detail. Even though she might not understand that didn't mean she couldn't remember. She drew the grass that she had found herself in when she had opened her eyes. She wished she had ink of different colors, but all she had was the pitch black liquid. Still, she didn't let that deter her as she continued to float the quill across the page forming images of exquisite detail. She drew the clearing, the city from far away, the school, the playground, and finally the two ponies that she had found friends in.
It was so easy, so natural, a motion that she knew so well from her writings, but now that she had applied it to pictures it took on so much more meaning. It made her feel… again the word hid just beyond that veil she couldn't breach. She did know however that it was exactly what she had felt down there on the surface. Now that she had found it again she found herself greedy to feel it again. She wanted more of it and that desire took over her mind as she decided taking matters into her own hooves was well worth the risk. Without it she felt sad and confused. Now that she'd had a taste she couldn't stand being without it. Whatever it was, she had deemed it was worth taking risks for and that was exactly what she was going to do.
Just as the previous day she needed to disguise herself however. The paint and dye was back at North's home and she knew that she couldn't be seen by him. She could teleport to one of the back areas of the building that he rarely went, but that was risky. The risk is worth it, she reminded herself. Now however in the heat of the moment her willingness to take risks had turned into recklessness. She grabbed her saddlebags and started to pack various things into them that she might need or want on the surface. She put in her quills and ink as well as a good amount of paper, she also added in some food as well. Whether or not she really was running away for good she wasn't sure, but she needed to understand what there was there which she couldn't do from the Astral Plain.
Having rationalized recklessness in her mind she teleported to a backroom in North's home at full throttle. The backroom she had chosen was the one that she knew the paint and dye were in. It was closer to the main room than the others, so she was slightly more likely to be seen upon entering, but it was a much quicker trip in and out as well. She grabbed it and teleported out as quickly as she could glad that she hadn't been seen. North who had been going about his business paused as he heard a noise come from one of the nearby rooms. He walked silently over to where it had come from listened carefully. Just a moment later he heard the telltale sound of teleportation that he was certain came from a certain filly. For better or for worse, he thought to himself as he realized that she had chosen to take things into her own hooves.
Polaris had teleported back to her own home with the paint and dye to try and formulate a more solid plan. The complete recklessness of her most recent action had struck her as she had started to perform it. She needed to be more careful if he wasn't going to be discovered, but unknown to her she already had been. Still, he didn't plan on doing anything to stop her so she would continue to believe that her plan remained secret. Looking over what she had packed she saw that she really did need to be more careful. Just because I've decided to break rules doesn't mean I need to throw all forms of reason out the window, she scolded herself. As she added more items to her saddlebags she thought about what she would do when she got down. That was the biggest issue at the moment. She couldn't be discovered to not belong since she might not have the option of returning to the Astral Plain.
'I can't go back to school since they know that I'm out of place, but then how am I supposed to see Kara and Spot? I could just stop by and say hello, but I still might get caught. I'd have to be quick about getting in and out to be sure I don't end up in deep trouble. Then what though? At that point they'll probably have realized here that I'd left. If I stay on the surface then I'll have to find a place to stay there. I know that I could probably do something temporary with clouds, but it's only a temporary solution to a long term problem. Of course it's not as though they'll kick me off of the Plain completely. Either way it won't be too long before Kara and Spot notice that something's up. I don't even know what I'm doing, but I can't stand not doing anything.' she thought while she packed her things. In the end she decided this was probably something she'd rather make up as she went along.
That was just what she did as she teleported to the front of the warehouse in full disguise with full saddlebags. She had made up her mind and she wasn't about to let anything change it. The more she waited and thought the more her resolve weakened so she moved forward without looking back, but she knew she still had to take the time to make informed decisions at times. She couldn't be reckless, but she couldn't be too afraid to do anything. She pushed open the doors to the warehouse and just told herself to keep moving. The unicorn filly and unicorn mare from the day before stood waiting for somepony to come through the door.
"Unisus Isle." she requested in the most authoritative tone she could muster. The mare gestured for her to step onto one of the platforms and she did so. Then the mare stepped away and the filly moved forwards. She met eyes with the unicorn filly before the young filly lowered her horn and screwed her eyes shut in concentration. It only made sense that she was already learning to perform the task. Polaris remained still and calm as she charged up her spell. As the beam was fired from the filly's horn she took a deep breath. Once again she was going down to the surface.