“Shawn… wake up…” Katie’s voice faded into my hearing.
“Fuck off...” I muttered, tugging my blanket closer to me while shuffling on my sides. Next thing I knew, the comfortable surface I was lying on ditched me as I fell face first on the ground. It was a light fall, but it was enough to make my eyes open fully.
“Get up,” she repeated with more grunt.
“Get down…” I said groggily, unconsciously clutching my body. I opened my eyes slightly and spotted my beanbag, which propelled me to climb back on it.
“GET UP!” she yelled while kicking the bag (which I was ontop of) across the floor.
My eyes batted open as I rolled off the bag. I pushed myself off the floor and shot a resentful glare at Katie. “Why the fuck are you playing soccer?! Can’t you see I’m trying to get my beauty sleep?”
“Yes I do, but can’t you see I don’t give a shit? You do know what today is, right?”
“Yeah, it’s about to be your funeral because I’m going to ki-“ I froze in midsentence. Oh yeah, today is the funereal. Now I know why Katie is waking me up so early. But, I still don’t know when the funereal starts. My eyes darted to the top and bottom of Katie’s stature. “Katie… do you even know what time the funereal starts?”
“No, but it’s great to have an early start,” she said casually with a shrug of the shoulders.
My ears twitched on their own accord. Really, that’s her explanation? I opened my mouth and took a very deep breath, calming myself down before talking. “I’m a pony. I don’t need an early start. I don’t need to put on no complicated outfit or anything because I can’t fit into anyone’s clothing!”
“Actually, Rango, you do have an outfit.”
“…What do you mean?”
She simpered. “Talk to Mom and you will understand what I mean.”
I raised an eyebrow. Her tone implies something unpleasant is about to happen to me, and it sounds like she’s a part of it too. “Just cough up what you’re planning to do.”
“Oh, I have no part of it; Mom just told me. You’re the experiment; I’m just a casual viewer,” she said.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
I walked into my parent’s room and saw Mom sitting on the bed doing god knows what. I see a big bag lying on her legs, but that prolly isn’t for me. Or is that the surprise Katie was telling me about?
“Good morning, Mom.”
“Morning, Shawn!” Mom responding while waving. For the day of her brother’s funereal, she seems very jovial. I don’t know if it’s the liquor or the ‘surprise’, but if I didn't know her, she could have fooled me by saying her bro died.
“Katie told me you have a surprise for me. What is it?”
She prickled at her fingers while releasing a small smile. “Well, I’m sure you know today your uncle’s funereal, right?”
I studied her extremely red looking eyes for a second. It looks like Mom was crying recently, but her tone isn’t suggesting it. It’s actually sounds like she’s excited, which explains how she is suppressing her feelings so well. I guess it’s a family thing, too. “...Yes, why?”
“Well, you’re going to need to wear something.”
My right eye twitched in perplexity. Wait, what? I mean, of course I am but that’s gonna be pretty hard to accomplish, ain’t it? I don’t think she remembers I can’t wear human clothing. “Okay, but how? I can’t wear anything right now.”
“I know… that’s why I got this tailor-suited for you!” she exclaimed while pulling out an article of clothing from the giant bag on her bed. I scanned the piece top to bottom and cringed. It was a black sheath dress with... that's actually all it was. The crazy thing was it looked like it was pony size… like it was crafted for me personally. But how? No store around this area makes clothes especially for ponies.
“Well? What do you think? Isn’t it cute?” she asked with elation.
My pupils stayed in one place as I calmly pondered a response. “Fuck is wrong with you!” I wanted to say, but I bit my lip. That was the smartest thing I’ve done all day.
It’s the most coward thing you done all day.
Shut up, brain.
I sighed. “Uh, is that all you got?”
She nodded. “Yes, I asked for something quick and convenient.”
I facehooved. “Mom… really? Why couldn’t you just get me a suit?”
“That isn’t suited for your body, sweetie. For funerals, you’re supposed to look beautiful or handsome, not beausomeful.”
Beausomeful? Really?
“I know, but still. You already know how uncomfortable I can be sometimes. Besides, you’re not supposed to look beautiful or handsome for funerals; you’re supposed to look like crap because you’re grieving someone’s death,” I declared.
Mom held her mouth open and hardened her glare at me. “Shawn, for all the excuses you could have made for not wanting to wear a dress, that was the most ignorant one I ever heard.”
“It’s not an excuse; it’s a factual of life. You females be putting makeup on and all that extra stuff even though you know you’re gonna ruin it by crying. What sense does that make?” I pressed further. Honestly, I’m just speaking whatever‘s on my mind at the moment, but it surprisingly makes sense and reflects how I really feel.
“…That’s true,” she admitted sheepishly, dusting off the hem of her shirt, “but still, you will not go in there looking like that.”
After looking at my fur-coated body, I heaved a sigh. I’m fighting a losing battle, aren’t I? Eh, maybe it won’t be so bad after all. It isn’t my style of clothing, but it fits my current biological landscape and is a onetime thing only, right?
I wouldn’t say one time…
I took a deep breath. “Fine…”
“Great!” she exclaimed while jumping off the bed. “You will be so-“
“Hold up!” I broke in. Haha, she really thought I was just gonna forsake the chance at getting something in return? “You owe big time for this one.”
“…Okay?” she said, putting her hands on her hips hesitantly.
“First of all, can you tell me why Uncle Ray died?”
Her mouth twisted into a frown. That wasn’t really the reaction I was hoping for. “Why do you want to know now? Can’t it wait till the funereal?”
My face dropped. Can’t it wait till the funereal she says. Yeah, it can, just like feeding a hungry person can wait until they starve to death. “No, it can’t wait.”
“Yes it can. It’s not like the world is gonna blow up if I don’t tell you. It’s not like your face will get eaten if I don’t tell you.”
“The anxiousness is gonna eat me up inside!”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “Well, it’s better than your face getting eaten. The outside is better than the inside anyways.”
“Mommm!” I whined while stomping on the ground uncharacteristically. I see I’m going to have to resort to acting spoiled, huh?
She shook her head. “Nope. You’re outbursts aren’t going to do anything either.”
How long is she gonna keep this persistent front up?
“Fine! I won’t wear that dress then!” I bellowed.
“Yes you will.”
“No I won’t!” I maintained.
“Shawn… if you don’t put this on,” Mom whispered threateningly, taking a step towards to me, “there will be serious consequences…”
“Ooo, I’m so scared!” I muttered, jamming my hooves into my armpits with false emphasis. Despite my intrepid attitude, I actually took a step back to make sure we were the same distance apart we started with. To be honest, the worse she can do is force this on me.
Mom continued inching closer. “Shawn… don’t do this to me…”
“Just tell me why he died and I’ll wear it. What, it can’t be that serious, right? Was it an accident? Suicide? Was he murdered?” I listed while frowning. Suddenly, an eccentric thought filled my head. “Let me guess… he had a heart attack from getting too angry, right?”
“I said no! Now shut up and stop being so freaking difficult!” she shrilled.
A light smirk appeared on my lips. I'm being difficult, huh? You know what, since Mom is playing games, why don’t I boost the difficulty? “Alright, Mom, I’ll wear it.”
“A-are you serious? You really mean it?”
I nodded. “Yes, I do. In fact, why don’t I try it on now and see how it fits?” That wasn’t a question by the way, it was a sinister statement disguised as a question.
Mom neatly handed me the dress, in which I took gracefully, smiling to accentuate my sudden act. “I’ll go try it in the bathroom actually.”
Her eyebrows thickened. “Why? You’re just putting something on you. You’re already naked, so?”
I mentally face palmed. Crap, she’s right… unless I tell her I feel naked when putting clothes on? Nah…
I examined the dress for a couple of seconds, weighing out my options on approaching it. If I went into the bathroom, I would have easily flushed it. I can’t rip it in front of Mom because she isn’t gonna let me. Only if she told me why he died I wouldn’t even have to consider this path…
Looks like I’m going to have to rip it, but I got to be real discreet with it.
I put the dress over my head, giving Mom the impression I was about to put it on. I pulled it down my neck but stopped mid-point, stretching it out intentionally to give Mom the idea I was struggling. “Ugh… it’s sooo tight!” I whimpered in a phony fragile voice.
You’re evil, you know that?
I learned it from you.
Really? I mean… of course. I taught you well, young beans.
Indeed.
Assholes.
Mom gasped. “What do you mean it’s tight, Shawn? It should fit you perfectly. Maybe it’s because your head is super big or-AHHHHH!”
Before she can finish her sentence, I purposely pushed my head through the middle of the dress, ripping a hole that was big enough for a ball to penetrate. I quickly jerked my head back and narrowed my eyes at the now-ripped dress. “Oops… how did that happen?” I said innocently, my lips threatening to grin. No, I cannot smile right now, damn it!
“Shawn! Why did you do that?!”
I threw my hooves up while giving her a protesting glare. “It wasn’t my fault, I was trying to fit my head through it!”
She grunted and started tugging at her hair. “That… was… 500 dollars! Ugh… just… give it to me!” she shouted while snatching the dress out my hooves… permanently.
“Um…” My head dipped as I kept up my innocent façade. “I’ll just leave now and let you … recover.” I quickly dashed out the room while shutting it behind me.
Like they say, Karma is a beach… with a thousand bitches playing in the sand!
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Despite the ‘accident’, Mom wasn’t as irate as I envisioned her to be. In fact, she accepted the dress’s fate and left me completely untouched. Well, not completely. Mom still put a black flower in my head to give me a more ‘funereal appearance’. In my opinion, putting a dead flower in my mane would fit the description of a funereal appearance better, but oh well.
Do you have to take everything so literal?
I think you mean ‘literally’.
Based on Mom’s standards, I think it’s neat and everything, but I’m not completely satiated. I mean, I still want to know why is my uncle dead. Going there naked represents how I feel: Empty and misinformed.
But yeah, everyone was dressed nicely. Dante and Dad rocked matching black suits with a burgundy tie combo while Mom and Katie’s attire were both black but styled different. While Mom was wearing an elegant silky looking black dress, Katie wore a simple dark blouse and skirt. Katie seemed to have got the memo and wore barley any make up at all, while Mom on the other hand was looking like someone smothered a piece of cake on her face. This is why I hate trying with people, man. You tell them why not to do something and they do it anyway. Oh well, she isn’t hurting me by being an idiot.
“Why are you naked, Shawn?” Katie asked.
“Because I made a mistake and ripped the dress,” I replied quickly. Katie raised an eyebrow quizzically, but sighed and averted her eyes from mine. I know it’s not the most tangible story, but Mom witnessed it.
“Wait, dress? You were trying to get Shawn into a dress? Good luck with that, Mom…” Dante snickered.
“What do you mean by that, Dante?” Mom questioned. “Shawn was actually willing to put it on, weren’t you, Shawn?”
I froze. Well, this sucks. If I say anything other than ‘yes’, my cover will be blown and Mom would know I did it on purpose. Thank God Mom is oblivious.
“Yes… I was. It looked special, and this is a special occasion, right? It’s a shame, because I was looking forward to it,” I said, smiling wide enough to add sincerity to my lie without coming across as a try-hard.
Mom grinned and turned towards Dante. “See what I mean?”
“Well well well,” Dad spoke this time, “that’s a good thing it ripped. No son of mine was wearing a dress.”
Mom’s smile curled into a disgusted frown. “Son? What do you mean son?”
Here we go. They always argue about this. “Parents, parents, can we stop arguing for once? This is not about me or your selfish views of my identity, it’s about Uncle Ray,” I sighed. “Anyways… when do we leave?”
“When the limo comes,” Mom answered.
“A limo?” Katie repeated dubiously, in which Mom nodded. Well, that’s not hard to believe because my parents do have money after all. But the question is why? It’s a funereal, not a goddamn hotel. Are they trying to drink on their way there or do they feel the need to shit on people’s cars?
A drunken eulogy would be something new.
A light smile creased my lips, despite the rising inquisitiveness. “A limo... that’s pretty fancy but why a limo for? I mean, it’s nice and all… but really?”
“Because other people are coming, that’s why.”
Other…people?
“Like who?” I asked.
”Oh, you know like, friends, cousins, family, etc…”
My entire face flushed. Oh, isn’t that great. No one outside the family to my knowledge knows about my situation. This is just going to garner more attention to me, and then I’m going to get into more embarrassing convos about my new gender. Yup, this day looks like I’m going to be the central focus instead of Uncle Ray.
I felt a warm hand touch the center of my head. I held my head up to see Mom giving me a look filled with worry. “Shawn, are you okay? Your face feels warm,” Mom pointed out.
My mouth opened, but not a hint of my voice traveled. I should’ve been expecting them anyways. I sighed and trotted towards the couch unenthusiastically. The only empty seat was right next to Dante, who looked like he was on the edge of breaking out laughing.
“What’s funny?” I said while climbing on top. “I want to know the joke too.”
“Nice flower.”
I patted my mane, deciding to play along with it. “Thanks. Your ex gave it to me a couple of days ago. ”
My sentence made his laughter immediately quell. Funny thing is, it looks like he believes it. That just goes to show you how smooth I was with women when I was a human; they still show love for me! Nah, let me stop.
*Ring* *Ring* *Ring* *Ring*
Before he can respond, the door bell was rung. “I’ll get it!” Dad announced while bolting off the couch. I have no idea why people always gotta let everyone know they’re getting the door. Usually people just shut the hell up and wait for someone to get the door, because someone has to get it after all, but now people are answering it like they are being awarded. Damn, times has really changed.
When Dad unlocked the door, two figures disregarded him completely and pushed their way inside. My eyes bulged in surprise. My grandparents.
“Hey!” Dad shouted at the arriving duo.
My grandfather turned around on instinct, shooting a shady look at the man in question. “You were in the way… you’re always in the way…”
He stood dumbfounded after that statement, quietly shutting the door while keeping his eyes locked on the highly affected man. I just observed the scene with a new sense of interest rising. You know, their brusque entrance would have made sense twenty years ago, since these are my grandparents from my mom’s side. They were never partially fond of Dad, but i've never seen them disrespect him like that. Hell, even Dad looked slightly surprised at that, oh wat, he look surprised at everything!
Grandpa met my eyes for the first time. “Why is your mouth open, horse? You want an ice cream treat or something?”
My mouth closed, but a frown followed shortly after. Horse? Who the hell does he think he is- wait, I forgot he doesn’t know yet. Maybe I should introduce myself to-
“Hi Mom! Hi Dad!” Mom said while approaching them.
Or maybe not
“Daine! It’s great to see you!” Grandma said while wrapping her into a warm hug. However, her mood completely shattered when she glanced at Dad. “Oh… hello, Kane,” she nearly spat.
My eyes dilated. Grandma is one of the nicest people I know and would never address anyone like that, even if they’re someone like Dad.
'If they’re stupid, they’re still human and deserve regular treatment.'That basically sums up her morals. Dad definitely did something extra retarded this time. And when I mean extra retarded I mean a negative 4.0 gpa in all special ed classes!
“Dad… why are they so angry with you?” I asked while rubbing the back of my neck.
He sighed. “I think it’s becau-“
“You’re a complete tool!” The older man snapped, while also rudely breaking in. “You’re the type of bubble headed tick who needs to count to ten by looking at his toes!”
Dad gasped in indignation. “Hey! I wear shoes most of the times so how is that possible?”
Grandpa ignored Dad’s jive and shifted his attention to me once again. “And you! Why did you refer to him as your father? I mean, it's already hard to see anyone referring to this scarecrow as a father, but who are you?”
“Shawn,” I said calmly.
His right eye twitched. “Why are you lying for? You’re not Shawn, that’s impossible! Shawn was a human!”
I felt my face darken. “No duh! Alot of people used to be humans, does that mean they are a different person just because their body's different?”
He paused for a few moments but smirked to my surprise. “That’s definitely you isn’t it?”
“It appears to be so.”
He bent down on one knee and placed both hands on my shoulders, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Boy, you sound like a girl.”
Oh, and here I was thinking he would say something worthwhile and important. Or at least something compassionate, like ‘how are you doing?’ But no, my voice is the first thing that comes to his mind.
“Oh, I’m sorry… is this better, grandpa?” I uttered in a low-pitched voice.
“Now you sound like a girl trying to be a boy. Haha, something is always happening to you, boy,” he snickered while ruffling my mane.
I jerked back from his hand and re-straightened my mane. Good thing Grandpa is here though, he never keeps secrets from me… unless it’s something embarrassing. “Grandpa, what happened to Uncle Ray?”
He glared at me. “What did you say?”
“I said what happened to Uncle Ray!“
He exchanged a quick look with Mom before responding. “He passed away. I thought you knew.”
I deadpanned. “Um, how did he pass away?”
“What do you mean how? He closed his eyes and that was it! He went to sleep for eternity! Does that answer your question?"
This motherfucker really gets on my nerves…
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