Chapter Six
Are You a Secret Spy?
Right now, this whole situation made sense only in the light that the High Queen of the Fae sent me here.
Fairy tales to most people are light hearted sugary things, with the fae being these lovely sugary-hearted creatures that can’t do any wrong, have tiny wings, perfect bodies and are the protectors of nature. They’ll sing songs, live off morning dew and fart rainbows.
I grind my hoof down irritatedly.
Everyone seems to focus on those happy things and not the fact that they are the protectors of nature part. They talk about the happy stories about how happy the Fae Queen and her Prince Charming are, not about how the prince is actually only married to her because she has his real princess locked away in a crystal close to her heart. They tell you about the enchanted forests filled with so many wonders. But they neglect to mention that there have been people who have walked there and never came back.
When people think fairy, they think Tinker Belle, not Red Cap, Troll, or Slaugh. They think little cottages out in the middle of the German country side. Not the modern dark corners of their own homes. This kind of punishment is exactly something that the fae would come up with.
Here I am. In a universe that if you asked me if I wanted to visit a year ago, I would have snapped it up in a second. In a form that not too long ago I might have taken just for the hell of it. With a pony that on more than one occasion, brightened up my day with her smiles, songs and over all cheer. But like fruit on a tree I can't reach, I feel helpless.
In fact I am seconds away from seething in rage over what has happened to me. I should like this. This should be a dream come true. But it’s not.
It’s like many a time, where, based on the circumstances of a situation, I had to leave a place of residence. I would have left if I had found another place, gotten a better job, done a little more. If it was up to me, if it was based on my terms. But instead of leaving on my own terms or even terms that were agreed to, I was forced out. Threatened and told that it was up to me to find a place right then and there.
There is still a bubble of bright pink right in front of my face.
I looked out of the shattered window into the night sky. Twilight and Rainbow Dash had already left, and apparently Fluttershy was making her way here.
“Sooooo! She-who-shall-not-be-named!” Pinkie said “You want to have a party?!”
I blinked and gave her a look of sorts. Like I said. A year ago I would have jumped at a chance to party with Pinkie Pie.
“Like...right now?” I asked.
“Yeah!” She says grinning at me. Ack, I think my eyes are burning from the light off her smile and I’ve contracted a diabetic condition from her happiness.
“No, Pinkie Pie. I am not in the mood to party.” I reply.
Her face is classic Pinkie Pie. “Not in the mood to party!? How can you not be in the mood to party!? I’m always in the mood to party!” She exclaims.
“Yes, I know you are...” I say about to turn away from her. However, not even before I can take half a step in the other direction, there she is in front of me again.
“You seem to know a lot about us! At least that’s what Twilight told me before she left. How much do you know about us? I mean you seemed to know our names even before we told you them! Not even I could do that! And I know everypony in Ponyville! That would be a really neat trick to learn, can you teach me it? I mean if I could know a pony’s name before I met them I could totally find out more about them and then I could throw them a super secret special surprise party for them!” She is now up in my face about this and I am not sure what to do or tell her.
“Um.. You mind Backing Up Please, Pinkie?” I ask with as much self restraint as I can. She blinks and walks back just a little bit. I take a deep breath.
“Now will you tell me how you do that super-nifty neat trick of knowing Ponies names before you’ve even met them?” She asks.
A wave of annoyance rolls over me. Gods I knew she was like this from the show but …
“Seriously, Pinkie...I think I just want to be alone right now.. If all goes well, Twilight and Rainbow Dash will find a way for me to get home...” I say gritting my teeth.
“But you just got here and we haven’t had a party yet!” She looks thoughtful. “And you haven’t told me how you know all our names! Oh! Is it that you can’t tell me about this super special talent?!”
“Pinkie...” I begin.
“Oh! Oh! Is it one of those talents that if you could tell me about but then you would have to silence me...For-Ever?” She once again gets up in my face.
“Pink-ie...” I say half worried and half growling.
“Ooo! Ooo! Are you a super secret secret spy pony!? The kind that works for the Princesses under cover doing jobs that other ponies won’t do, living a life of danger, and using your wits, smarts and ...Charms to get the upper hoof on evil Ponies that want to take over Equestria for One Billion Bits?!” She says without taking a single breath. “Oh no! I’ve blown your cover haven’t I? Don’t worry, I won’t tell any other pony ever! Pinkie Promise!”
“PINKIE.” I shout at the top of my lungs.
“Um...Yes?” She asks looking at me intently.
“Would You Please Stop Talking And Leave Me Alone!” I finally spit out. “Look. I don’t know what to think or what’s happening or anything like that. But. I do know that once this is all over and done with, that I am not going to feel like partying. I might not ever feel like Partying, OK?”
She looks at me kinda hurt.
“I was just asking a few questions...Geeze no reason to be a little-miss-she-who-shall-not-be-named-cranky pants...” She says bitterly.
“Oooooh Piiiiinkie...” Rarity’s musical voice sings. “Could you come here darling I need you for something....”
Pinkie looks at me sadly, but this is quickly squished by a face of determination. She crosses her heart, flaps both her hooves and covers an eye. She turns to meet up with Rarity, but before going, she shoots me a look of sorts. Had it been an Internet meme I swear it would be “Challenge Accepted.” Out of habit my hoof hits my head for a face palm. In a way that was harder than I expected.
“Ouch!” I shout.
Pinkie is about to turn and ask me a question, but Rarity is at the door giving her the 'Come Here Now Pinkie' head jerk. She bounds away with a look of determination on her face...
I roll my eyes and look at the floor.
“Well..buck.” I give into the explicate substitute. I haven’t a clue why a mere word would trip me up so badly. “Now four of the mane six and Spike must think I am a spazoid.”
I slam my hoof on the ground, sighing irritatedly. I can hear Rarity and Pinkie talking just outside the door. I don’t know what they are talking about, but knowing that they could be talking about me is making me burn.
“Damn It. Keep yourself together. Flying off the handle is what they Want you to do, totally isolating yourself is what they Want you to do. Just keep calm.” My hoof clops down on the ground again and again after each word. “Just. Keep. Calm.” That’s when I hear gentle hoofs walking on the floor behind me. Crap.
“Um .. Hello...” Says a voice from behind me. “Um.. Rainbow Dash sent me here help watch over you while her and Twilight go to Cloudsdale...Rarity wanted me to come in here to see if you were alright...My name is-” I turn my head at her. I am sure there is a rather unpleasant expression on my face because of how startled she is.
“Fluttershy.” I say ending her sentence. “Yes. Great. Leave it to Rarity to send in the Big Guns!”
“I-” She begins.
“No, Please don’t start. I am not in a good mood. If you start, bad things will happen.” Right now I am fighting off whatever feeling is rearing its head from deep inside of me.
“But-”
“No! Just turn around and join Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Spike. That is the Right thing to do.” I say gritting my teeth.
She looks at me almost about ready to squeak. I turn my face away from her.
“If you keep standing there, I am going to say or do ..Something that I will very much regret, Alright!?” I almost shout. “Because-” I turn my head and she has already flown out of the room. “B-because.. I don’t...” My head droops. “I don’t want to make you cry...” I mutter.
The door closes behind me.
“Great. Just Great!” I hit the wall. “Now all but one of them thinks I am the pony equivalent of Gilda! Just. Bucking Great!” I hit the wall again and again. It does loosen some of the tension in my being. But not by much.
“AAAARGH! Well I hope you are all happy!” I shout at the air. “If this is your idea of a punishment, Kudos! Congrats! It’s One Swell Punishment all right!” I turn my back to the wall and in true pony fashion kick with my hind legs, shouting all the while.
The lights flicker and then abruptly cut out.
There is a hum. The faint high pitched sound like a cathode tube enters my ears.
A group of squares suddenly appear floating in mid-air. They are very much like old tv screens. There are nine of them arranged in a three by three grid. For a moment there is nothing but static on them. And then set of faces blinks on each of them.
“Well...We aim to please.” One of them says.