//------------------------------// // Know Your Mare: Pip-lectric Boogaloo // Story: Know your Mare // by overlord-flinx //------------------------------// You ready? I was born ready... I didn't hear you. Are you ready? I was born ready! I didn't hear you! Are you-- He said he was born ready, you insufferable blowhard! Can we just get this over with? Fine. Ruin our fun. This is why Pip's going to have a horrible childhood. My childhood is great, cap'n. You hear that? His childhood was in a grate. What kind of childhood is that? ...Let's just get started... Know your mare, know your mare, know your mare... As four familiar yet alternate voices than the ones used so often to fill the hall of Know Your Mare Studios sounded through the air, a quartet of four guests -each very different in their appearance- stood at the center stage. However, the stage did seem a bit cramped shared between the four of them. Know your mare... At last... We see each other plain... Cap'n, and queen... We'll see you in new chains... "...Really? We're doing this? I mean, really? Breaking out the musical lyrics? Do you want me to go find you some nice butter for your corn, or do you want to take it raw?" Sunset Shimmer quipped with a dull look about her before receiving a quick high-hoof to paw from Discord. It forms atmosphere and setting. Two traits you four never could comprehend. "Hey!" All four raised their voices in mixes of offence and even a squeak of hurt. Anyway. We have a long list of quips to get out from some lovely mares and stallions. So, let's get right into it. Queen Chrysalis... ...Cheated on Discord with a wheel of swiss cheese... "Swiss cheese. Clever. Really... If you excuse me, I think I'll tend my sleepy eyes with a bit of a nap. If this is the caliber of quips we're expecting, I am assured that I won't miss a thing." Queen Chrysalis... ...is Celestia's daughter. That would be a great shame on my name... Indeed. "Oh, but how sweet it is that someone would think I am not only younger than you--both saying that you are so frightfully old and showing for it and how beautiful and vibrant I look in comparison--but also pointing out how Celestia would be a deadbeat parent by not accepting me to her family. It is so delicious. These 'facts' may actually be entertaining after all." Let's... Move onto somepony else for a moment... Discord... ...humped a cotton candy cloud and made Flufflepuff... "...W...What's a Flufflepuff?" That's the part of that you found strange? Alright... Sunset Shimmer... ...cuddles a Twilight Sparkle plushy. "I wouldn't be surprised if Twilight Sparkle was so vain as to have had dolls of her made." Pipsqueak... writes clop about--and we're throwing this question out... "What? What do I write?" You write about being a sweet little colt. "No I don't." And that's why we're moving on. "But--" MOVING ON! Queen Chrysalis... Doesn't know where her hive is. "Northern Equestria, nearly forty clicks from Canterlot and tucked between a series of mountains. It's on a map. Are you incapable of reading one? How unsurprising..." Discord... Only understands basic concepts. That's why, despite his enormous power, he can't do anything more interesting than enrage a few animals and lift a few houses. "Now where's the fun in just simply flipping the world and turning gravity into gravy? Madness and chaos comes from the little things and how those little things can sprout bigger things. It's too... boring to just do something. Boooooring." Sunset Shimmer... Her jealousy and envy are now the only things driving her. "And hatred, contempt, festering ideas... It's much more complicated than just jealousy and envy... Which are fairly close to being the same thing. Read a book." Pipsqueak... Will develop less empathy than any other pony, thanks to the show. "Empathy, empathy~~; put yourself in the place of me~~! Heh-heh... What's empathy?" Sunset Shimmer... Can't stop eating meat. "I wish I could eat meat! This stupid muzzle and horse teeth can't break down a single leg of lamb! I hate being a pony!" Hah-hah! Twilight! Sorry... Discord... The Lord of Chaos and Disharmony... The Sovereign of Comedy Relief... The Patron of Crazy Hilarity... And all around Cosmic Joker... And yet... The only one he can make laugh is his wife when things get steamy in the bedroom and he drops his pants... "Hah, jokes on you... I don't wear pants." It's still small... "What was that?" Oh, nothing, nothing... Just... Remembering. "She's lying. She's never seen anything." You can say that again. WOAAAAAH! Queen Chrysalis... loves her baby, Pipsqueak... "I... Won't say that I do not care about the little colt. He knows how I feel and so does everyone else around us." ...all night long. Luna! I am just reading it! I do not agree! These are gross lies! LIES! Moving on! "Queeny does love me when I'm tryin' to sleep. Is that a lie?" That's cute Pip, now shush... Are there any more? No. What a time to run out... Make something up. Umm... Sunset Shimmer... ...Joe... "Joe?" Joe Mama! RUN! ... ... "...Well that was something, wasn't it?" Discord smiled at his 'family' and pulled them into a tight hug that only one welcomed. "YEAH! And only a few more shows left!" Discord and Pipsqueak sunk when Pipsqueak brought up that 'sad news'; however, Sunset and Chrysalis could not looked more relieved.