"Did I ever tell you... the definition... of insanity?"
Pure contempt. That's all that's in her eyes when she looks at me.
Like I'm not worth her time.
"Insanity, is... doing the exact same, fucking thing, over and over and over again... expecting... shit to change."
I'm lounging on a pile of crates. Loot stolen from ponies I couldn't give a fuck less about.
There's no pirates here, just her and I.
Me, sitting on my crates, cigarette in my mouth, and her, standing there, surrounded by floating jewels, with her hair flowing, despite the distinct lack of a breeze.
"That. Is. Crazy."
I've been causing trouble for far too long. That's why she's here.
She's come to get me. Like I'm a dog off it's leash.
"But the first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so boom, I shot him."
She should respect me. She should fear me.
She doesn't, though.
"But you see, the thing is- the thing is... he was right. And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact. Same. Fucking thing..."
At this point, running away from her would just be a waste of everyone's time.
"... Over and over and over again- thinking- 'This time is going to be different! No, no, no, no please... this time, is gonna be different!"
She won't kill me.
And I'll be back.
I could do without that condescending look, though.
"I'm sorry, I don't. Like... the way... you are looking at me!"
She seems a little startled by my outburst.
We're closer together, now.
"Okay, do you have a fucking problem in your head? Do you think I am bullshitting you? FUCK YOU!"
She's looks like she's more than fed up with me at this point.
Good.
As I pause to catch my breath, the jewels start to get brighter and brighter.
Knowing that my time is almost up, I scowl and flip ol' Celly the bird.
----------
Battle is a funny thing, you know? I always kind of thought of it as two tides crashing into each other until one gives way and is obliterated.
As I burst into my camp with a pair of pirates behind me, I can see the tides battling one another. I can also clearly see that my tide is losing. It doesn't matter where I look, royal guards clad in gold colored armor swarm the ponies that inhabit the outpost, overwhelming them through sheer numbers.
I've entered the fray within seconds, knife in hand. One of the guards notices me instantly and swings a sword in my direction. I evade the attack and slash at his face before introducing it to the heel of my boot. His helmet flies off his face as he hits the dirt a few feet away. I can't help but chuckle.
"Hey, hermano!" I yell, pointing at the stallion. "If you spent all this time making your fancy-ass armor, why didn't you get a fucking chinstrap?"
Quickly sidestepping, I dodge a spear thrust, leaving my new opponent off balance. Taking advantage of this, I grab the top of his helmet and slam my knee into his chin. As he reels back I stab into his neck and push him away.
After looking around for a moment I manage to catch a glimpse of Razor, who is busy fighting a pair of guards near the edge of the battle that appear to be getting the better of him. As I attempt to make my way to him through the mass of fighting ponies, one slices his ear and he falls to the ground.
I quicken my pace.
He's back on his hooves by the time I reach him, but I can tell he's tired. Once I've reached him I use the fact that neither guard has seen me coming to my advantage by gabbing one and throwing him to the dirt and stomping on his chest as hard as I can. But as he gasps for breath his partner slams into me from behind, knocking my to the ground. I scramble onto my back just in time for him to land on top of me, pummelling my face with his hooves. I struggle to get my hands in front of my face so I can defend myself, but it isn't long before I'm seeing stars. Then, in an instant, the stallion goes limp on top of me.
I push him off and take a second to focus my gaze so that I can see Razor Blades staring back at me, half and ear and half a grin on his face.
He holds up a hoof. "How many fingers am I holding up?"
I respond with a finger of my own. Guess which one it is.
"Maybe you're not quite as tough as I thought." He says as I climb to my feet and wipe the blood from my lip.
"And you're a bigger asshole than I thought, fucker." I snarl in return. "Why didn't you get him off me sooner?"
He shrugs, although I can tell he's watching the fight that's happening around us. "I figured you could handle it."
Ignoring what he just said, I change the subject. "How the hell did this happen?"
A couple more guards move in on us, weapons drawn.
"Somebody squealed." Razor says.
And the fight starts.
"Who do you think it was?" I ask, slamming my fist into an armoured mare's face.
"I've got my suspicions, but nothing concrete." He replies as he ducks a punch.
"So have you seen-" I'm cut off as a guard sends a blast of magic towards me. I can feel the heat as it flies by and hits a tree, singeing it black.
"Seen who?"
I swing my blade at the unicorn, who moves backward to avoid my knife. As she does this I kick out her legs and hit her in the jaw with my boot.
I'm panting. "Who- hah, -Do you fucking think I'm talking about? The big cheese!"
"No, I haven't caught a glimpse of her yet." He replies as the remaining guards begin to back away from the two of us, probably deciding that engaging some less dangerous pirates in the camp would probably be a safer bet.
"Besides, I'm pretty sure she's the type who let's her lackeys do all the-"
Just as the words leave his mouth a wave of dust hits both of us, obscuring our vision.
"Never mind." I cough.
I strain my eyes and the dust begins to settle and manage to make out a pair of glowing yellow orbs staring back at me.
"Took you long enough." I deadpan.
The eyes narrow.
In a couple more seconds, the dust has settled enough so that we can see each other clearly. I motion for Razor to leave. He does.
We're on opposite sides of the battlefield, both of us on the edge, looking in. Her eyes have returned to normal, each one shining a pale magenta. She looks just like she did a thousand years ago, minus the armor she wore back then.
For what feels like it could be hours, we simply stare at each other, sizing each other up, looking for weaknesses.
She makes the first move. I see it coming as bright yellow energy begins to build around the tip of her horn. Acting quickly I run into the fray and grab the closest pony I can get my hands on. This turns out to be one of my own pirates, but I'm a little desperate.
There's no time to find something else and frankly, I don't really care. I hold the unlucky stallion in front of me just as Celestia unleashes an unrelenting burst of magic from her horn. A continuous yellow beam finds my equine shield as the pony screams in pain and the smell of burnt hair assaults my nostrils. By the time she's done there isn't much left to hold onto. I drop the smoking remains of the pirate to the dirt and face the princess once again.
She looks more annoyed than she did before. As the battle rages on around us, I see her horn charge again. This time, however, there's almost no time to react.
In an instant she's teleported to me, hitting me with a pair of punches to my jaw. Despite the pain, I manage to block her third by catching it in my palm.
She answers this with a kick to my gut that sends my flying through the air. The wood comprising the door splinters as I smash through it and land on my back. I pull myself up onto my hands and knees, attempting to catch my breath.
I'm going to need a new strategy.
----------
Rainbow Dash crouched in a bush, a sword tightly gripped in her teeth.
She was watching.
She could see that most of her friends had been tied to chairs except for Rarity, who had been fastened to a rock opposite them. There were a pair of guards in the area as well. One was busy patrolling around the chairs while the other sat by a rock, picking his teeth with a knife held up by unicorn magic. Both wore red rags.
The pain in her wing had dulled considerably to the point where she could now see, and think straight as well as move without stumbling too much. Despite this, she knew that she was in no shape for a fight. Especially against two armed ponies at once.
So, after weighing all her options, she decided to go with stealth.
Picking up a rock, she cocked her hoof back and threw it across the clearing so that it ended up in some dense foliage.
Immediately, both stallion's ears perked up and their heads snapped to face where the rock had landed.
"What was that?" One asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Beats me." His partner replied, pulling the knife away from his teeth. "Go check it out."
"I don't wanna check it out." The first stallion shot back. "You do it."
"Well fine, if you're gonna be a little bitch about it." The second grunted as he levitated his knife and made his way into the bushes.
While the two had been arguing, the blue pegasus had made her way to the other side of the clearing so that she could easily sneak up on whoever went to check out the disturbance.
"See, what did I tell you?" The pirate laughed. "There's nothing here!
As she inched closer, the pirate froze, sensing that something was behind him. before he could react, she sprinted and tackled him to the ground. He fought her for a split second before going limp. Surprised, Rainbow Dash drew back and found the sword she was carrying had been stained red. She had killed the other pony with sheer dumb luck.
Before the fact that she had just taken a life had time to sink in, she heard a familiar voice fall from the clearing.
"Hey, you alright in there?" The remaining pirate called. "I heard a noise."
There was a pause then she could hear hoofsteps coming towards her, followed by the sound of a sword being drawn.
"You'd better not be fucking with me, dude." He growled.
As he got closer, he recognized the shape of his partner's body laid out on the forest floor.
"Whoever you are, you'd better be a hook-" He never finished his sentence. Almost as soon as he began to speak, the blue pegasus swung her sword at him from behind. As the blade met him he let out a cry of pain and stumbled forward before slumping onto the ground beside his former pirate comrade.
Panting, Rainbow Dash ran to her friends.
"Oh my goodness!" Fluttershy exclaimed when she laid eyes on her.
"Rainbow Dash, you're alright!" Twilight Sparkle exclaimed, face lighting up.
"What happened to those big, mean, pirates?" Pinkie Pie asked.
It was a harmless question really, especially for one such as Pinkie, but the words triggered bile that threatened to force it's way into Rainbow's mouth.
"They..." She paused, wincing. "They can't hurt you anymore."
Applejack stared forward, refusing to acknowledge that the world around her existed.
"Darling if you wouldn't mind, these ropes are a little tight for my tastes." Rarity added, straining against her bindings.
"It's okay girls... you're safe now. We're going home."
----------
I grab into the edge of a window in the shack and pull myself up, groaning.
As soon as I can see out I'm scanning for the sun monarch. It takes me a few seconds to find her amongst the chaos, but it looks like she's turned away from the shack she knocked me through and is now bust beating a couple of pirates senseless.
"FUCK!" I exclaim, pulling a sizeable splinter from my forearm.
Speaking of beating pirates senseless, the amount of my own goons seems to be dwindling pretty badly at this point. Most have been killed, wounded, or otherwise incapacitated and the few survivors left are fighting what is quite obviously a losing battle. Among these survivors is Razor Blades. He's been totally surrounded by this point, though he's still fighting tooth and nail to stay alive.
That is, until a familiar yellow blast of magic hits him and knocks him off his hooves. He never saw it coming. The guards all attack him at once as soon as he's down. He never stood a chance.
It doesn't look like I have too many options left here. Honestly, I don't I've got more than a single option.
Having finally caught my breath, I push myself out of the door in a dead sprint, hoping to put as much distance between myself and the ruler of this place. I get four or five seconds of running before her eyes focus on me and she drops the pirate she was holding up a second ago. Instantly, a group of her guards ready themselves to chase after me.
"No." She simply states, raising a hoof. "I'll deal him. He won't be a problem much linger, my subjects."
Hearing that, I take off into the forest, wind blowing in my face and princess celestia herself in hot pursuit.
----------
Princess Celestia was angry, to say the least. Enraged would have been a better word for it, honestly.
As she chased the creature she had dubbed Insanity through the forest, she strained to catch of glimpse of his fleeing form. He was more nimble than she was, and he was navigating the thick mass of trees and shrubs far easier than she was.
"Vaas!" She yelled, using his real name for the fist time in a millennia. "Stop running!"
She could have sworn she heard a chuckle from ahead of her.
"You got my helmet message... right?" He shouted at her over his shoulder.
She gritted her teeth upon hearing this taunt and fired a wide beam of solar energy in response. The blast seared apart the plants blocking her way, allowing her to see him more clearly. He obviously noticed this and quickened his pace.
"You aren't going to escape!" She exclaimed, firing a pair of thinner, quicker projectiles at him this time. One skinned his thigh, making him stumble, but he did not fall.
The symphony battle had faded behind them, leaving only the sounds of her hooves hitting the earth in her ears. Flying was out of the question because the denseness of the forest made it impossible to see down and find something running.
She fired another shot, this one missed as well but it obviously startled him and he dove forward into a mass of tangled trees and out of her sight. By the time she had traversed this area, she found him staring back at her, a knife in his hand.
Behind him she saw that there was no forest left to run to. Looking out at the gap she could only guess that there was a very steep drop beyond the two of them. She could see a flock of birds flying away and could hear the crashing sound of a waterfall. Sunlight shone down upon them in glorious beams. She relished every one of them.
"So..." He stared at her, face expressionless, scratching the back of his head with his blade. "Long time no see."
----------
This... this... BITCH!
She comes to MY camp and fucks with EVERYTHING I worked for? Oh, I'm going to make her bleed, you can bet your ass. Back at the outpost I stifled my anger because defending that place was my top priority, but now that it's a lost cause I'm pissed off.
"How did you find me?" I ask through clenched teeth.
"I received a letter." She answered, beginning to circle me.
"From who?"
"Does it really matter?"
"Yes it does, Because I'm going to slaughter whoever sent it... like a FUCKING PIG!"
We stare at each other while I pant for couple more moments. It's rather strange, this peace between enemies, this calm before the storm. And it's at this point that I decide I've had enough of the calm.
"So what? Huh? What's your fucking plan here?" I ask, eyes narrowing. "Are you gonna bring the elements back?"
Her teeth grit as she hears this.
"Let me tell you right now why that's not going to work, hermana." I growl, pointing back to the camp. "I know that you can't use them anymore, and I've broken at least or of two of the new fucking carriers and I'm pretty sure that the fast one's dead."
"No." She replies. "That's not what I plan on."
"Then enlighten me... you bitch."
"Vaas," She starts, all high and mighty. "For your crimes against the citizens of my fair nation, you will face death."
I can't help but titter in response. "So no trial, then?"
She stares right back at me.
"Well, it looks like I broke you, too." I smile, "Can't say I'm fucking surprised."
She pulls a golden knife out of the air in a display of bright magic, the weapon falling into her hooves. It's blade looked about six or seven inches long, it's handle encrusted with a variety of small jewels.
"I'm glad it matches your outfit." I chuckle, getting into a fighting stance.
"For all that you have done to hurt the ponies I have sword to protect, Vaas, this is your punishment."
"Bring it, bitch."
I lunge towards her and time slows down for no more than a second. In this timeframe, the trees around us melt together and the sounds of this forest mix into one another. The word around us fades into nothing but a dull, blurry landscape. Nothing else matters but her and I.
I'm already acting as this little display happens. I growl and viscously slash at her, she weaves and dodges my attacks with little to no effort. She's faster than I expected. After another missed swipe she blocks my blade with her fore hoof, holding it there for just a second. There, I see it, my chance. If I can just drop the blade down and catch it with my other-
My train of thought is cut off as she slams the butt of her blade into my jaw and kicks me back, stumbling me.
She goes on the offensive while I'm reeling back and I struggle to get out of the way of her attacks. I block a punch and answer with a kick only for her to seize the leg and twist, throwing my off my feet and onto the dirt.
I scramble to my feet while my hands find my knife.
I touch my fingers to my nose and draw them back to find them bloody. I can't help but laugh.
"If- If you seriously think that... killing me will solve anything, you're retarded."
She approaches me slowly, knife held in front of her.
"The ponies I've killed, the damage I've caused, that's not a wound that will heal!" spitting on the dirt and getting to my feet. "And just fucking trust me, I'm the kind of guy who... inspires followers."
"Not if I can help it." She states.
She comes at me more aggressively this time with a stab aimed at my midsection. I quickly sidestep and throw a punch that she ducks under. As she comes back up I manage to land a kick that makes her take a step back. In retaliation she continues her assault until I'm backed against a tree.
Before, I noticed how fast she was, but now I see that she's quite disciplined as well. Her attacks may lack the ferocity mine carry, but they are far more calculated and precise.
She throws a powerful jab that misses and instead makes contact with the tree I'm standing in front of. As she reels back in surprise and pain I turn and brake off a sizeable tree branch before swinging it as hard as I can. The wood cracks as it connects with the side of her head. She stumbles back, stunned.
I charge her, hoping to tackle her to the ground, but she recovers faster than I expected. When I reach her she quickly moves out of the way and I go past, unbalanced. She keeps hitting me after I've fallen to the ground, battering me until I can taste blood.
She pulls back to finish me off with her knife, but I take this chance to roll out of the way and get to my feet.
I can see a few scratches on her face. Most of my body aches from punishment. I spit, but this time it's blood.
"I'm going to FUCKING KILL YOU!" I roar, charging her again.
I don't even land a hit. My punches have gotten a little clumsy and she capitalizes on this. After blocking my knife she disarms me and stabs her horn into my shoulder. I never really noticed how sharp the thing was until now. I scream at the top of my lungs as it cuts into me, and I can swear that she's smiling. She pulls her head back and I can see her horn stained red. I fall to the ground but refuse to look at the wound.
Crawling, I manage to get a hold of my knife once more and slowly get to my feet.
"You..." I sigh. "Are a fucking SADIST!"
She just stands there, waiting for me to come at her.
"You could've killed me a ton of times during this fight but you didn't!" I scream at her and blood flies from my mouth. I can feel sweat dripping down my face. "You want to watch me suffer..."
I smile. "Maybe you and I aren't so different."
I come at her with all I've got, punching, kicking, and swinging my blade at her. A lucky hook from my good arm stuns her long enough for me to slice at her throat. She reels back and the blade swung by my clumsy, wounded arm catches her on the chest, rewarding me with a satisfying cry of pain.
"I'm going to burn your fucking shit nation to the ground." I growl, panting.
"Fire will lift you off my shoulders!" I yell as she comes at me once more.
She kicks at my legs, but I manage to jump back.
"Fire is clean, quick, and sure!" She slices the side of my stomach.
"Fire leaves nothing to rot later!" I scratch at her eyes with my fingernails.
"Antibiotic!" She kicks me in the face and I'm almost positive my nose is broken.
"Aesthetic!" I grab her shoulders and land a head butt directly at the base of her horn.
She pushes me back. I look behind me and see a drop. A very far drop. I'm standing at the edge of a cliff, now. Not a metaphorical cliff or anything, and actual, literal cliff. There's nowhere fro me to run. Princess Celestia, blood dripping down from her horn into her eyes, readies her blade for a final strike.
"Practical." I say.
I throw my knife. It spins end over end, blade glinting beautifully for a moment in the sunlight as it flies toward my opponent. She dodges it almost effortlessly, but that was to be expected.
As she moves out of the way of the projectile, I pull my gun from it's holster.
This thing probably would have come in handy earlier in the fight, but that doesn't matter now. I let loose a shot. You see, all a gun really does is focus an explosion in a single direction. As the bullet leaves the chamber and the gun kicks back in my hand I can't help but smile.
The bullet hits her in the midsection and she falls backwards onto the ground. I aim the gun at her head while she's still groaning in pain. Her eyes focus on me, wide and surprised. I'm sire mine are wide and crazed.
Then, something happens. Some might say beautiful, some might say horrible. In a flash, I see the night sky. All the stars and the moon for a second I'm stunned. Then she's in front of me. Blue eyes angry, mane flowing just like Celestia's.
Then there's this terrible sound. A sound I'm familiar with. My mouth and eyes fly open in surprise and the illusion breaks. I can see the whole world around me in threatening detail.
I look down to see a sword wedged firmly in the middle of my chest. I can barely feel the wound. The rest of my body screams in agony, but there must be too much shock. Was this new pony here the whole time as backup, or did she just arrive?
It's funny, the time these questions tend to hit you.
I glance towards my hand carrying the pistol. The new pony is with Celestia now, tending to her wounds. She's completely disregarded me already.
I aim the pistol at Celestia.
My hand is shaking.
I need to steady myself.
Instinctively, I take a step back and panic as my foot meets air and I begin to fall.
I'm not sure how far the drop is, I could have been falling for seconds or hours. I look up as I descend, watching the side of the cliff shrink smaller and smaller. There's a thin trail of blood coming from my chest and face and I watch the droplets fly upwards instead of how they normally fall downwards. I watch as my pistol slowly slips from my grip and hangs in the air above my hand.
Then I hit the water and darkness is all I know.