//------------------------------// // The Pony in Pink: Nothing Happens/Wrong! // Story: Twilight: The Consulting Detective // by A Wise Pony //------------------------------// SPOILER WARNING: This Ponified episode contains heavy reference to the BBC Series Sherlock's 1st episode, A Study in Pink. DO NOT READ IF YOU OBJECT TO THESE SPOILERS! Sherlock © the BBC All MLP Characters © Hasbro. Unofficial names used where real names are unknown. Orion Solstice © AuroraDawn Derpy © the fandom. *** Explosions. Bullets shrieked through the air. A team of ponies covered their ears as they fired a mortar. The orange earth pony tossed and turned in her sleep. Behind her closed eyes, the memories of war continued to scream through her mind. She was with the squad now, and the leader waved them on as they took the field. Or so it had seemed. Then more shots, not theirs. Two ponies fell. And then, a sharp, excruciating pain, and- Applejack bolted awake. Sweat soaked her coat as she lay there, gasping as the dream vanished. But the memory did not fade. It stayed there, mocking her, reminding her of what she wished she could forget. She finally brought her head back to the pillow, stifling sobs and holding back the tears that threatened to fill her closed eyes. After a few minutes, she sat upright and numbly stared around the room. Her eyes settled on the cane leaned against the desk. Another reminder. Applejack turned away, trying to ignore it. Then, head bowed, she tried once more to calm her mind enough to rest. *** Morning came too soon, and Applejack prepared for the day as best she could. She limped about the apartment, picked up an apple to eat and made a pot of coffee. Then, mug in hoof, she sat down at the desk, groaning as her leg refused to follow suit. Setting aside the cane and mug, she moved the stubborn limb into place, and then opened a drawer. The netbook was easy to remove, but her eyes were briefly drawn to the object that had been hidden beneath it. Pointedly ignoring the gun again, she opened the computer and stared at the screen. The page was blank, save for the header: “The Personal Blog of Dr. Applejack.” She'd had it for months, ever since...she'd been sent home. She sat there, staring at the page for minutes, but nothing came. Finally, she closed the lid of the computer and got ready for her meeting with the shrink. *** “How goes your blog, Applejack? Have you been keeping track?” Applejack hesitated. It was still as blank as the day she'd made it, but it wouldn't do for the shrink to know that. “Yeah, good. Really good.” The zebra jotted down something and then gazed at her intently. “I can tell just from my sight, a single word you've yet to write.” Applejack ignored the statement and instead focused on what Zecora had written on her notepad. “You just wrote 'still has trust issues'.” The zebra gave a sad smile. “And you read my writing upside down. See why I have cause to frown?” The earth pony matched the smile and nodded slightly. The psychiatrist continued. “Applejack, you're a soldier, just back from strife. It will seem strange, civilian life. Writing a blog about all that happens to you will honestly help you see this through.” Applejack didn't know if that was true or not. But she did know one thing: she couldn't write about what wasn't. “Nothing happens to me.” *** October 12th, Canterlot The grey unicorn peered around the terminal as he gathered his luggage. “What do you mean, there's no ruddy car?” he asked his wife over the phone. “You went to Whitetail,” Upper Crust explained. “I'm sorry. Get a cab.” “I never get cabs,” Jet Set complained. “I love you.” He responded mischievously. “When?” His wife almost laughed. “Get a cab!” He could hear the smile in her voice. He hung up, then set off to find a taxi. With his usual luck, he hadn't the slightest chance. *** Jet Set was in an empty sky-rise somewhere in the city. He couldn't concentrate enough to use magic, so he picked up the cupcake with his hoof. His panicked gaze darted to something or somepony in the room with him. He bit into the cupcake. Less than five minutes passed before he was on the floor, writhing as he died. *** The press release was somber, but the usual media frenzy still had ensued. The statement was read by a public speaker as cameras flashed and recorders whirred. “My husband was a happy man, who lived life to the fullest. He loved his family, and his work, and that he should have taken his own life in this way, is a mystery, and a shock, to all who knew him.” A picture of Jet Set on the wall showed him smiling. To the side, his wife, unable to speak herself, wept. *** November 26th The downpour was torrential. Too wet to fly. Instead, the two pegasi colts were trudging through the rain. One had an umbrella in hoof. The other was not so lucky. A cab turned onto the street, and he dashed out from the partial cover of the tree lined sidewalk and into the rain, trying to flag it down. “Yes, yes! Taxi!” Orion brought a hoof to his mouth and whistled, but the cab took no notice. “Agh!” He shook a hoof at the retreating cab, and then, resigned, he trotted back to the walk. The rain had gotten worse, and the pegasus made a decision. “I'll be back in two minutes, mate." “What?” His friend was confused. “I'm just going home,” Orion explained. “Getting my umbrella.” “You can share mine!” “Two minutes, alright?” Without waiting for a reply, he raced back up the street. His friend stood in the rain for five minutes before checking his watch, and then walked back to find Orion. But he wasn't at home. *** Orion was hunched against a glass wall. The gymnasium below provided some light, enough for him to see the cupcake he held. Hoof trembling, he brought it too his mouth and took a bite. *** The headline of the Canterlot Express was grim: Colt, 18, kills self inside sports centre. The article expanded: “The body of Orion Solstice was found in the Norbridle sports centre. The police are describing his death as suicide and have apparently ruled out foul play. His body was found at seven o'clock this morning. He was last seen the previous evening. He told a friend he was returning to his house to fetch an umbrella, and was not seen again.” *** January 27th The ballroom was filled with a pounding beat. The sign at the door read "Your Local MP, Rani Gallop, Junior Minister for Transport" An earth pony walked out of the room, her expression one of mild disgust. At the bar, her coworker looked past her into the throng. ”She's still dancing?” he asked. “Yeah, if you can call it that.” “Did you get the car keys off her?” The earth pony held up a hoof; the ring of keys jangled around it. “Got 'em out of her bag.” Her coworker smiled, and then looked once more into crowd. He frowned, and looked harder. “Where is she?” *** Outside the party, the Junior MP drunkenly fumbled in her purse for her car keys. They weren't there. She groaned in exasperation as she realized somepony must have taken them...and on her birthday, too! Giving up on using her car, she looked around, hoping to find somepony else who could take her home. *** The building site was empty, save for the usual large waste-bins found in construction settings. Among the bins, Gallop could be heard crying. “No, oh, oh Celestia, no...” Her hoof trembled as she reached for the cupcake before her. *** The next day began with another press conference. The faces of three ponies were on the wall this time. A grey policepony read the report: “The body of Rani Gallop, junior minister for transport was found late last night on a building site in Greater Canterlot,” Derpy began. Her superior officer, who was also the pony in charge of the case, sat before a number of microphones, dreading the forthcoming flood of questions. “Preliminary investigation suggests that this was suicide. We can confirm that this apparent suicide closely resembles those of Sir Jet Set and Orion Solstice. In the light of this, these incidents are now being treated as linked. The investigation is ongoing, but Detective Inspector Rainbow will take questions now.” The flood began. A clamor from the newsponies filled the room. Rainbow waited for it to quiet slightly, then nodded at one of the reporters. “Detective Inspector, how can suicides be linked?” “Well,” the pegasus began, “they all took the same poison, um, they were all found in places they had no reason to be, none of them had shown and prior indications of-” The reporter interrupted. “But you can't have serial suicides.” “Well, apparently you can.” Another reporter interjected. “These three ponies, there's nothing that links them?” “There's no link we've found yet, but...” Rainbow paused briefly to choose her next words. “We're looking for it, there has to be one.” All of the phones in the throng of reporters began to beep, ring, buzz, and in one case make a sound that sounded oddly like a 'squee'. Derpy and Rainbow's phones beeped as well. Both pegasi glanced at their devices. A one word text appeared on the screens: Wrong! Derpy tried to calm the crowd, which had broken out in murmuring. “If you've all got texts, please ignore them.” The first reporter spoke anyways. “It just says, 'Wrong'.” “Yeah, well just ignore that,” Derpy said. “Okay, if there are no more questions for Detective Inspector Rainbow, I'm going to bring this session to an end.” The clamor resumed, before the second questioner spoke up again. “If they're suicides, what are you investigating?” “As I said,” Rainbow began again, “these, these suicides are clearly linked, um, but, it's an unusual situation, we've got our best ponies investigating-” Again, she was cut off, but this time, by the sudden cacophony of ringtones as once more all the phones in the room received a text. A quick glance at her own phone told Rainbow all she needed to know. Once again... Unsurprisingly, it was the first reporter who stated the obvious. “Says 'Wrong' again.” Derpy didn't even bother to respond to that. “One more question,” she said with finality. A bespectacled mare this time, mild panic in her voice. “Is there any chance that these are murders? And if they are, is this the work of a serial killer?” Rainbow gave a wan smile. “Well I, I know that you like writing about these, but these do appear to be suicides, we know the difference, the, um, the poison was clearly self-administered.” “Yes, but if they are murders,” the newsmare pushed, “how do ponies keep themselves safe?” Rainbow lost her patience a bit at that. “Well, don't commit suicide.” The reporter looked miffed. Derpy brought a hoof to her face and muttered a warning under breath. “Equestria Daily.” Rainbow cursed inwardly. Well, she could try to salvage this... "Obviously it is a frightening time for ponies, but all anyone has to do is exercise reasonable precautions. We are all as safe as we wanna be.” Again, the ringings and buzzings filled the room. “Wrong!” The text read. A moment after all the rest had sounded, Rainbow's own phone buzzed. The message was different than the rest this time: “You know where to find me. TS” Rainbow stood and thanked the reporters. Derpy followed closely as she left the press room and entered the police offices. “You've got to stop her doing that,” she told the inspector. “It's making us look like idiots.” “If you can tell me how she does it, I'll stop her,” Rainbow replied. Now, she had to file the necessary paperwork and hope that the Daily didn't decide to start a panic because she'd been short with their reporter. ***