Ultimate Battle of Ultimate Pony Destiny

by Haku1013


Meeting some People

Awesome People in Equestria

Mrs. Cake sighed in relaxation. Today was a good day in her opinion; it was a rather busy day, customers coming in and leaving almost every second, but was still a nice pace for her. The Twins weren’t in her hair as they were out with their father, and so was Pinkie, for what ever reason she had no idea. All in all, it was a good day to be her. In fact, the whole day could only get better if a single customer was buying her whole stock of baked goods and making her family enough money to retire in no time. Oh, wait...

"Said would pay for lunch, not a buffet," Rorschach said with clear irritation in his voice. Trixie stared at the masked human with her mouth full of cake "Waf re ou ayin?" Trixie asked while glaring at the human, her mouth still full. Rorschach sighed in agitation. How and why he continued this... companionship was beyond him. Trixie was an egotistical maniac... maybe that's why he stayed by her side. Maybe he just needed something that isn't always sunshine and rainbows. But that didn't really help when the ponies around them always thought that there was something between the two of them.

"Trixie. I'm saying is that-" Rorschach began before he was cut off by a loud whirling noise coming from outside the bakery. Rorschach got out of his seat to look out a window, and was, surprisingly, surprised by something. Hey, living in a world full of talking equines and mythical creatures was sure to do something to a man's psyche. Rorschach was soon joined by other ponies at the window, including Trixie as she munched on a cupcake. Out the window was, as far as Rorschach could tell, a spaceship landing in the town square!

"What the... what the hell is that?!" a random pony scream. "It," Trixie started, having swallowed her food, "it look likes some sort of large metal cart..." Rorschach stiffened. "That's no cart," he began, "thats a space station."

"A what?" Trixie asked, all the other ponies staring at Rorschach for answers. "Well, it more like a spaceship. But what the hell is it doing here?"

"What, didn't you have space ships where you come from?" Trixie asked, to which Rorschach replied with a no. "Have them in science fiction, didn’t actually exist. Possible that the humans back back on Earth invented them by now, but if so, how did they get here?"

Everypony in the streets had by now ran away from the ship and into some sort of building, one pony even screaming 'the horror! The horror!' on the ray to her shop. All was quiet as the ship's engine died down and stopped blowing dust and dirt everywhere. When the dust had settled, a word was easily seen on the ship side; Slave I. As Rorschach read it, a doorway opened up in the back of the ship, with a man covered head to toe in some sort of armor, which had two shoulder pads which were orange, like his kneepads. The left shoulder pad exhibited the some strange skull symbol, while his chest also displayed a different emblem. He wore some sort of white clothing under his dark green armor, along with a helmet that was covering his head.

Once off his ship, the man turned his head, scanning the new area he was on. "What is he doing here?" Trixie asked, turning to address Rorschach, but saw that he was not there. Turning to look out the window, she saw him slowly walking to the man, who held up some sort of weapon to Rorschach. "Stop right where you are," the masked man ordered Rorschach, who stopped walking once he was several feet away. "Who are you?" the masked man asked, "What planet is this? What sector am I in?" Needless to say, Rorschach was speechless as he continued to stare at the man.

The man knew at once he was not going to get a response. The inhabitants on this planet most likely didn't speak his language, or had even seen a ship like his at all. Putting his weapon down, the masked man asked Rorschach, "Do you speak basic? Do you understand me?"

"Are you human?" Rorschach finally spoke, catching the man off guard for only a second. The man nodded his head. "Good," he began, "we can understand each other. Maybe now I can get some answers. What planet is this? It is not registered on my ship's scanners."

"Don’t understand what you mean by that," Rorschach stated, hands in his pockets, "answer my question." The masked man didn't say anything for a moment. A long silence engulfed the area. "KICK HIS ASS RORSCHACH!!" someone shouted from the bakery behind Rorschach. 'Damn you Trixie,' Rorschach thought, the sudden shout making him fall off guard.

"Rorschach," the masked man said quietly. "Nice name. Well, if it's all the same, call me Boba Fett," the masked man stated. "And to answer your question, yes and no."

"Explain."

"I'd much rather not Rorschach. I'm on a job. I've been tracking two humanoids for the last several days, and the last place they were headed was here. I'm not sure where they are, but I'm sure they haven't left the planet yet." Rorschach picked up his ears at this. Humanoids? Was it possible that there were more humans in Equestria now? He had to find out. But first he had to deal with this... bounty hunter it seemed.

"Rorschach!" another shout came from down the road, taking the attention from both humans. Running up the road was Twilight Sparkle, the town librarian and friend to Rorschach. Running past Boba Fett, she nearly collided with Rorschach before stopping by his feet. "Rorschach, what's happening? Everyone is all in a craze! Lilly said something about another human, Is this true?" Rorschach merely turned his attention away from Twilight to a spot behind her. She followed his gaze and met the mask of Boba Fett.

"What..." Boba Fett said after another moment of silence. "A... a pony... oh you have got to be kidding me. I thought Vader blasted all of the pony planets with his accursed Death Star!" Boba Fett said to himself. Hearing Boba speak, Twilight ran and hid behind Rorschach. "Rorschach," she began, "there's another human in front of you."

"So it seems," Rorschach told Twilight, "and what do you mean 'Vader blasted all of the pony planets?' What are you talking about, Fett." Boba let out an audible sigh. "Look buddy, I ain't here to talk about history. I'm here to catch two very dangerous people, with bounties large enough for me to retire in peace. Now, if none of you people, or ponies, here are going to help me end the search quickly, then I'll be on my way," Boba said rather sharply, right before he turned to walk away. Once he was a good ten feet away, his ship closed the still open door.

"Wait!" Twilight called to the bounty hunter, who stopped walking to face the purple unicorn. Once she had his attention, Twilight turned away for a moment, thinking of what to say. Turning back, she inhaled and exhaled slowly. "You said you were looking for two very dangerous people. If it's for the safety of Equestria, then I will be glad to help you..."

"Boba Fett." Boba replied.

"Twilight Sparkle," Twilight replied, holding a hoof to herself. "Now, how about we walk and talk? Who are these people we're looking for?" Twilight continued as she walked next to Boba, who seemed to be neutral to the companion. "Never worked with a pony before. Thought you were all wiped out." The bounty hunter said while the two left Rorschach alone, who squeezed his hands into fists, blood dripping from his gloves, showing his obvious anger at the situation Trixie slowly walked next to her roommate, still chewing on a cupcake. "Well, today seems like it might be good."

"Hurm," Rorschach growled angrily, before leaving to walk with the couple ahead of him, Trixie joining him. Hey, someone needed to make sure Rorschach didn't end up killing everyone in town. Again.

"CHARGE!!" an unexpected voice shouted from behind the group. Turning around, it was needless to say each member was taking off by another human aiming a rifle at them... while riding on Pinkie's back. "Onwards Pinkie Pie! Onwards to victory!" the man said. Once close enough, the man easily grabbed Twilight by the mane, away from group. "Target achieved," the man said, "preparing to take off." Slowing to a stop, the man jumped off Pinkie and landed on his feet. Raising his rifle, Boba aimed for the man and shot, hitting him directly in the chest. The shot blasted the man onto the ground, killing him, giving fright not only to Twilight, but every pony in the area, all of whom could only watch in amazement as the man easily got back to his legs, showing the new hole in his chest. Even with his heart now being showed off to the world, the man didn't even flinch.

"Nice try Boba, but we both know that it'll take more than that to kill me. Now Pinkie," the man said, still holding a struggling Twilight, "if you would be so kind, grab my rifle."

"Stop him!" Boba shouted as he took off after the group, attempting to blast the man but failing. Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, gladly took ahold of the man's rifle, right before both took off into the sky, a rainbow being left behind them. "Adventure!" Pinkie Pie yelled as the three took off into the sky, several lasers following them. Boba fired into the sky more, still trying to get a shot at them, which proved to be a worthless endeavor.

"Ok... who the buck was that?" another voice said behind the remaining trio, Boba being the only one to turn, still aiming him blaster straightforward. Rainbow Dash quickly got out of his line of vision. "Hey, watch it with that! I saw what it does, and I do NOT want to be caught by it."

"Who are you?" Boba asked. "Oh, I'm Rai-"

"She's Rainbow Dash," Rorschach interrupted, "a pegasus pony. The fastest one I've seen. I'll advise you not to shoot her, as she will most likely help you." Hearing this, Boba put down his rifle and turned back into the direction Pinkie Pie and the man left. "Whatever. As for who that was," Boba started, "that was one of the men I'm after."

"After? What do you mean by that?" Rainbow asked, not even acknowledging the fact that there was another human in Equestria. Boba gave another very audible sigh. Here he goes again with explanations. "To cut it short, that person who took your friends is a very dangerous man. His name is..."

----

"Deadpool," The man introduced himself to Twilight, shaking her hoof violently. "nice to meet you Twilight. Pinkie here told me alot about you, and I must say, the readers back home won't believe that I'm meeting you." It was needless to say that Twilight was not only shocked when meeting the man, but also extremely terrified. BAcking away slowly from the man, who had named himself Deadpool, Twilight found herself bumping into a large object. A large BREATHING object. Turning around, Twilight met eye contact with a large, green, and very, very, muscular human. "What do you want with me?" Twilight asked quietly, afraid to anger her kidnappers.

"Silly Twilight, we were just rescuing you," Pinkie replied, having appeared on the larger man's shoulder. "We?" Twilight asked, "Pinkie who are these people?! And why are they humans?! Or better yet, why aren't they like Rorschach?!"

Bouncing off the man's shoulder, Pinkie gave her a large smile while turning to Deadpool. "Oh well, this is Deadpool. He's my penpal."

"Penpal?"

"Yeah, weird, right? I mean, I met my pen pal! And who honestly gets to meet their pen pals? I think that’s just a little sad, don’t you? I mean, who wouldn’t wanted to meet them, if they're pals and everyth-"

"And the green guy?" Twilight asked, not turning to face the monstrosity in fear. "Oh him? He's..." Pinkie paused for effect.

"The Incredible Hulk!" Both Deadpool and Pinkie said at the same time. "The Incredible... what is going on?!" Twilight shouted, entirely frustrated at the situation. One moment she's on a nice walk, just on her way to pick up some more parchment and quills, and then she meets another human who does nothing but shoot things. Then she gets ponynapped by a whole new masked man, who takes her to meet his green muscle partner!

And it's only going to get worse.

What? Deadpool? Hey! Get away from that!

But I want to type now!

No! Away from the keyboard and back in the story!

Make me!

I'm Haku! You know very well of what I can do!

And I'm Deadpool, The Merc with the Mouth! And YOU know very well what I can do- is that a chocolate bar?

You want it boy? You want it! Go get it!

Chocolate!

And now, with him busy, let's get back to the story, shall we? Where were we? Oh yes...

Scanning their surroundings, Twilight deduced that Deadpool only took her to the edge of Ponyville, just a little ways off from the Everfree Forest, but still close enough that they were kept from being spotted by several buildings. "Oh, um, hello Twilight. Who are your friends?" came a voice away from the group, getting the attention of the group. With a resounding 'eep,' Fluttershy hid behind, or tried to hide behind, Angel the Rabbit.

"Fluttershy? What are you doing here?" Twilight asked, still keeping her distance from the humans.. er... superhumans. Before Fluttershy could answer, however, a clicking sound was heard. Turning around, the group was met with the sight of Boba Fett aiming his rifle at the group, followed by Rorschach, Trixie, and Rainbow Dash.

“Twilight? Fluttershy?! What are you guys doing hanging out with these guys! Rorschach and Boba Fett said that they were bad guys!” Rainbow exclaimed at her friends. “Rainbow? Well, Deadpool here kidnapped m-”

“Rescued.”

“Huh?” Twilight and Rainbow asked simultaneously. “Eeyup. I totally rescued you, you little unicorn you,” Deadpool said while petting Twilight, ruffling up her mane. “You see, the Hulk and I helped out another planet a while back, saved it from being blown up. Next thing we know, we got all these bounty hunters coming after us, wanting toi claim our bounty. We ain’t bad, we so good, we fly. Anyways, Boba here is just in it for the money, like I am when on Earth or-”

“Quiet, red man,” Hulk said, the first words he had spoken. ”Hulk want fight now.”

“If so, it’s a fight you’re going to lose,” Rorschach said calmly, cracking his knuckles through his gloves. The Hulk responded by cracking his neck. Before the two opponents could let out their pent up need for violence, a voice called out. “Nobody move.”

Each person turned their attention to the origin of the voice, Boba Fett. Who was now holding Fluttershy at gunpoint. “Anyone moves, and the pony gets it. Now,” Boba turned to Deadpool and the Hulk, both of whom had obviously begun to seeth with anger. “Hey, you can’t kill Fluttershy,” Deadpool started, “The writer won’t let you!”

“Try me.”

“Wait! You can’t do this,” Twilight shouted to Boba Fett. “I thought you were good! How can you do this?!”

“I’m a bounty hunter, pony! I do what it takes to get my money, and if that means killing a living being, so be it.”

A long silence once occurred as either group dared the other to make the first move. The tension easily was thick enough to slice with a butter knife. Actually, would that work? I mean, A butter knife is suppose to cut butter, which isnt very thick at all. Well, I guess it’s possible that I got the metaphor wrong, but eh, whatever. Then again-

DAMMIT DEADPOOL!

Oh, got to go.

You know what? Screw it, do what you want. I don’t care at this point.

Wait, what? That isn’t very nice.

Wha... Pinkie? No, not you too!

Deadpool, give Haku his story back!

But Pinkie! Think of the possibilities!

Deadpool, do I have to get Fluttershy in here?

... Fine...

Ok, here you go mister Haku!

... Um... ok... I... guess random character entrance time...

“Fluuuuuuutteeeeeerrrrssssshhhhyyy!!!” A voice screamed from a distance. “Great, what now?” Rorschach sighed as he turned to see a... truck driving towards them? And then the Truck the turned into a humanoid shaped being. What?!

The Truck-Man thing jumped into the air the second he changed shape, pulling out a rather large blaster from seemingly nowhere. It landed not three feet from Boba Fett, aiming at his helmet. “Release the pony, Boba Fett.” It said calmly, hints of anger in his voice. From what the team could gain, it was a rather large creature, made of metal perhaps, with a red color coating. It’s mouth was covered some sort of metal covering, keeping his mouth movements hard to read.

“What are you doing here, Prime?” Boba asked the strange being, pulling Fluttershy closer to his body, who let out a small ‘eep’ and began to sob slightly. “I’m here on a mission. That’s all you need to know. What you need to do, however, is drop the pony.”

“Or what? I’m in control here Prime, not you. Now, put down your blaster, and I’ll leave with my bounty.” Boba stated, clutching his prisoner, who let out another... laugh? “What?!” Boba shouted when he saw he was no longer holding his pegasus, but instead was Deadpool. “Don’t you hate it when the writer cheats?” Deadpool asked the bounty hunter. Letting go of the man, Boba turned to find Fluttershy hovering in the air, surrounded by a purple aura. “But... how?”

“It’s magic,” Trixie stated, “We ain’t gotta explain shit!”

Hearing this, Boba took off with his jetpack. Before he got too far, he was met with a large green fist, because Hulk hasn’t done shit until now, knocking him back into the ground, his back letting out a few last sputtering sounds before fully dying out.

Picking up his head, Boba’s helmet met the back legs of a blue pony. The last thing Boba heard was laughing and shouts about ‘The Great and Powerful Something or other’ before collapsing into darkness.