//------------------------------// // Prologue: The First Session // Story: Ponies and Palaces // by EricStarstorm //------------------------------// It was a bright, lovely spring morning. The sun was just peeking over the treetops in the distance, and the sky was a cross between murky grey and bright, vivid blue. It was the perfect morning to go outside and just absorb the beauty of the landscape, the trees, the air itself. Or, as Tom saw it, it was the perfect morning to play some Dungeons and Dragons with his buddies. He wasted no time in joining the group call over Skype. He'd been working on his character since after dinner last night, and he had finished at around midnight. A lot of work had gone into it, but some of the time was spent wasting time in distraction, browsing his favorite forums and catching up on his favorite web comics. Despite all of the discouraging factors, however, he had managed to get it done, and he couldn't have been more excited to get the first session started. "Morning," Lisa said. "You're certainly up early. You ready for the session?" "Are you kidding? I've never been so ready for anything in my life!" Silence. "Tom? You there?" Billy asked. "...Yeah, I said I was ready for the--" "Toooo-ooooom!" Alex called. "Where are you goiiiiiing?" "I'm right here, you..." Tom caught himself as a red box appeared on his screen. It was a box that he was very familiar with. It was by far his worst enemy. It spelled doom whenever he saw it, and that was all too often. There was a problem with the call. "I hate my life." "Okay," Alex said. "As you enter the next room, you see a tall man in heavy robes. No part of his body is visible--even his face is covered by the shadows of his hood. He towers over you, but does not look down towards you...but you can somehow still tell that he has acknowledged your presence." "This better not be some kind of edgy anti-hero," Lisa muttered. "Let me guess. Are his robes black and red?" "...Not anymore!" "You suck." "I ask him what he's doing here," Tom interjected. "All righty," Alex replied. "The man does not reply. In fact, he doesn't move at all. It looks like it'll take more than that to get a response out of him." "Hmm...Billy, isn't your character trained in Diplomacy?" Lisa asked. "Yeah, but we're not trying to convince him of anything," Billy replied. "Besides, you have a higher Charisma, don't you, Tom?" "No...I put my 18 in Strength because you wanted to play a Sorcerer," Tom said. "Oh...well, okay, but I swear, this guy is rolling Intimidate checks just by existing. I ask him if he wants anything." "The tall man looks towards you," Alex said. "He does not say anything, but it's a response. Roll a Charisma check." The call was silent for a few seconds as Billy used his online dice roller to generate a result. "17," he said. "Okay...that'll work." Alex cleared his throat and started speaking in a deeper voice than normal. "'I desire something that exists within this dungeon.'" "I ask him what it is." "'It is a rare variety of alchemical herb known as Shiverthorn. It has properties akin to those of ice and snow, and are very useful for creating potions of fire resistance. Perhaps...if you helped me find this herb, I could share one such potion with you.'" "Fetch quests, huh? How original," Lisa said sarcastically. "Next thing you know, we'll run into a little girl with the MacGuffin Pendant." "Look, there's a reason these things are cliche, all right?" Alex replied indignantly. "Anyway...the man awaits your response." "Of course we'll do it. If this campaign keeps travelling down this path, we're going to end up in a volcano sooner or later anyway." "I tell him that, in those words," Billy said, holding back laughter. Tom could hear the sound of Alex slapping himself on the forehead. "'Your choice of words belies a lack of intelligence, but I thank you for your assistance.'" "I know where you live," Lisa said in a low voice. "Hey, I'm not mad," Billy chimed in. "I only have 11 Intelligence. It's not like my character's winning any prizes." "Wait, you only have 11 Intelligence?" Tom asked. "You were supposed to have your second-highest roll go to that so you'd have a good Arcana score!" "...Five is good," Billy said sheepishly. "Ahem." Alex did not sound pleased. "Can we please focus? We can worry about Billy being terrible at character creation later." Tom rolled his eyes. "Fine. Where's the next room?" "To your left." "I check the door for traps," Lisa said abruptly. "24 for Thievery." "You can tell there's a trap on the door, but you don't know what will trigger it or what it will do. It appears magical in nature." "That's all I can get with a 24?" "The trap is very difficult to detect. If you'd gotten anything lower, you probably wouldn't have found anything at all." "All right, whatever. Can I disarm it?" "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tom said. "If you try to disarm that trap and it blows up in your face, who knows what it'll do? With a trap that hard to find, it probably has some crazy-broken effect." "So what, you want to just spring it?" "Hey, I have thirteen healing surges and 31 HP! I'm the best one in this party for taking hits." "So you open the door, then?" Alex asked. "Oh, no. I have something much better in mind." Tom liked to think that the others could tell that he was smirking. "I Bull Rush the door." There was a moment of silence. "You just wanted to break a door down, didn't you?" Lisa asked. "Ohh, yes." "All right, I'll allow it," Alex said. "Roll to hit." "Against a door?" "Just do it." "Doors don't have Fortitude scores, last time I--" "Tom!" "All right, all right." Tom rolled a d20 on his random number generator. "17." "The door swings open, but you spring the trap. A huge light tries to consume you. Roll Acrobatics." Tom rolled again. As he got his result, he stared at it for a moment. "Tom?" "...I got...0." "...Well, at least it wasn't a critical failure. The light consumes Ragnar, and he disappears." "Wait, WHAT?" Billy yelled. "Did it just EAT him?!" "No, of course not! The door was trapped with a Plane Shift rune. Ragnar is trapped in an alternate plane until--" "THIS IS THE FIRST DUNGEON!" "Yes, but the coordinates lead to a dimension that it's very easy to escape from!" "Oh, thank GOD!" Tom said suddenly. "I didn't even want to play a paladin. The only reason I did was because I lost a bet." "Wait, what're you saying?" Lisa asked. "Don't even think about making another Striker! We need a healer!" "Would you relax? I'm making a Bard." "Hold on a minute!" Alex asked. "You can bring Ragnar back easily! There's--" "Nope! You guys keep doing the dungeon, and my new Bard will meet up with you later." "But what about Ragnar?" "I played as a paladin, so I fulfilled my end of the bargain. Ragnar's on his own." "You're the worst DM EVER!" Lisa yelled. "A Plane Shift rune?! Seriously?!" Tom didn't hear the rest of the ensuing argument. He left the call and immediately started work on his new character sheet. As soon as Ragnar's vision cleared, he realized that he was no longer in the musty dungeon. The mysterious stranger, his childhood friend Lance Eridani, and the hired mercenary Theresa Stromwind were nowhere to be seen. Gone was the dismantled door and the long hallway that stood behind it, gone were the shoddy columns and the ancient sandstone. Instead, there was nothing but wide open sky. It wasn't long before Ragnar started falling. The fall didn't last long, thankfully--it was only around thirty feet or so, and although he had the HP to survive any fall of that height, he only took eleven damage. As he recovered from having been knocked prone and used a healing surge, he looked around. He had landed in some kind of dark forest. The canopy blocked out much of the sunlight, and everything looked rather gloomy. The trees were gnarled and rough to the touch, and some had no leaves. Through the gaps in the trees, Ragnar saw a grove of oddly saturated blue flowers, but the gaps were too small for him to squeeze through even if he wanted to. He looked around, but saw no way out no matter which way he turned. "Well," he said to himself. "This be some Beholder's dung."