The Cutie Mark Stoners

by Sleipnir


The Crusade

"Scootaloo, are you okay?" Apple Bloom asked, addressing the filly in front of her.

"Yeah… you look kinda weird." Sweetie Belle added. "And what's this smell?"

"Oh, guys, I am so glad you're here. I have something to-" Scootaloo was about to finish that statement, but her eyes trailed off the two clueless fillies and shifted their focus to her upper right. She stared apathetically at a fixed point above one of the windows of the tree-house. As the moments flew past, her expression changed at an unnaturally slow pace, until she finally sported an astonishingly stupid grin that rivaled the infamous grins of Pinkie Pie herself, all the while looking at the same spot. "Whoa."

"Scootaloo?"

"Whoa, there's no need to be, like, loud and stuff, you guys. I feel…" Scootaloo rubbed her chin with her hoof, thinking of a term that did her state of mind justice.

"What? But we weren't-"

"Euphoric…" Scootaloo interrupted, her eyes widening as she revealed her state of mind. She allowed the final two syllables to fill in the gap of the following awkward silence, while trotting lazily over to the nearest window. She rested her front hooves on the windowsill and looked directly at the setting Sun nearing the horizon.

Scootaloo sighed happily as she tilted her head, looking back at her friends with a dreamy look on her face. "It feels like I'm walking on sunshine."

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle said nothing. They looked at each other, then at Scootaloo - who was back to staring out the window, and then back at each other. Sweetie Belle opened her mouth, trying to utter something, but nothing coherent escaped her. Scootaloo seemed completely out of this world. It was almost as if somepony had removed the brain from her skull, soaked it in hot water and put it back in. In other words, she was completely baked.

"Hey guys, have you ever wondered if…" Scootaloo paused. She suddenly seemed very distracted by something. Her head turned and spun in all possible directions like she was trying to follow a buzzing fly flying around her head. Yet, she continued trying to phrase her question. "…anypony has ever been…" Another pause, followed by more frantic head-turning. "…as far as decided… to…"

Apple Bloom frowned. "Alright Scoots, that does it." When Scootaloo was asking nonsensical philosophical questions, something was definitely wrong. She grabbed one of Scootaloo's front hooves and yanked her towards the exit of the tree-house. "Ah'm takin' ya to Nurse Redheart."

"Whoa, whoa, I'll go with you, okay? Just do one thing for me first, okay?" Scootaloo said evasively, although the lack of interest was still apparent in her voice.

Before Apple Bloom could give an answer, Scootaloo had already picked up a white, roughly cylindrical-shaped object from the floor. She held out the hoof containing the object, presenting it to Apple Bloom.

"Suck on it."

Apple Bloom tilted her head to her side. "What is that thing?"

Sweetie Belle gasped. "Is that… a CIGARETTE!?"

Scootaloo giggled. "No, you silly filly. This is… something else." Scootaloo turned back to Apple Bloom. "Suck on it, or I'm staying right here."

"Ugh, fine." Apple Bloom grabbed the object. It was roughly half a dozen centimeters in length, and its weight was negligible. Upon further investigation, the object appeared to be nothing more than a strip of paper wrapped around… Celestia only knows what. Interestingly, the object seemed burnt on one side.

Apple Bloom slowly moved the hoof holding the object towards her muzzle, until it finally met her lips. She sucked the unlit end of the object weakly, only allowing it to keep contact with her mouth for a split second.

"Okay, Ah sucked on it. Can we go now?"

Scootaloo kept her grin, and looked straight into the eyes of the farming filly in front of her. "Do it like you mean it."

Apple Bloom sighed. She moved her hoof back towards her head until the object met her lips again. She sucked long and hard. A few moments into the suction, a cough attempted to force itself from her lungs. After a relatively long period of trying to keep the cough on the inside of her body, it finally overpowered the orange filly. The cough surfaced, and it soon evolved into a violent coughing fit that forced her to fall down on her knees, dropping the object. Once her coughs finally subsided, she looked up at her friends.

Then, everything changed. Colours appeared more intense, sounds were softer - yet clearer, and everything felt... better. Even the air on her coat was different.

With a dumbfounded look on her face, Apple Bloom made one comment. "Whoa."

Scootaloo smiled. "I think she likes it."

Apple Bloom picked up the object and spent a few moments glaring at it. Strangely, it seemed pinker now than it did before. Her head slowly tilted upwards, until her eyes met the eyes of Sweetie Belle.

"Ya need ta try this, Sweetie Bell."

She was not entirely convinced that this was a good idea, but both her friends looked like they were enjoying themselves far too much. Her curiosity got the better of her.

Sweetie Belle sighed in defeat. She picked up the object, placed it in her mouth, and sucked on it. Remembering the words of Scootaloo, she had to suck hard. And that she did. Sweetie Belle seemed to be able to handle the smoke a lot better than Apple Bloom, as she managed to muffle the few coughs that surfaced after she stopped sucking. A few moments later, ecstasy took hold.

"Wooooah… this is…" Instead of finishing her statement, Sweetie Belle simply let out a euphoric moan while her dilated pupils seemed to completely lose focus.

"I know what you mean." Scootaloo stated. "Hey, are any of you hungry?"

"Yeah... I could eat an entire pig." Sweetie Belle replied.

The notion of eating a pig did not sit well with Apple Bloom. Although her farm was an apple farm, she had interacted with pigs on numerous occasions. She knew that they were intelligent creatures, and she certainly couldn't imagine eating one.

Scootaloo held up a hoof with an enlightened look on her face, catching the attention of her fellow crusaders. "Oh, guys. I have the craziest idea ever. Fluttershy has a pig, right? We could, like, taste it or something."

The idea got Sweetie Belle as excited as anypony could be while as toasted as she was. She was excited enough to start uttering the catch-phrase of their secret society, although it wasn't nearly as loud as it usually was. "Cutie Mark Crusaders, pig… uh… tasters?"

"Go." Apple Bloom added flatly, now apparently accepting the idea.

As if on cue, the Cutie Mark Crusaders set out on yet another quest for their cutie marks.

The three fillies awkwardly stumbled down the walkway from the tree-house to the ground below, and walked in the general direction of Fluttershy's cottage, completely ignoring all walkways. It would normally not have come as a surprise to the crusaders that there was an entire block of wooden houses in the way of their "path," but these were not - by any means, normal circumstances.

Walking on the grass with Scootaloo in front, the three fillies were caught up in a Kafkaesque discussion about how two Earth Ponies could have had twins of two different races, neither of them being the race of their parents, reflecting on the recent lesson Cheerilee had given the class on genetics. However, Apple Bloom was doing nearly all the talking while the other two mostly nodded and giggled, usually both.

"By Celestia's beard, this filly isn't making any-" Scootaloo's thoughts were interrupted by a sudden appliance of pressure to the side of her head, as if she had just walked into a building, which, as she soon realized, was exactly what happened.

By the time of that realization, the other two fillies, neither of which had bothered to look where they were walking, had both finished their intimate moments with the wall.

Scootaloo smirked and tried to suppress a laugh, before making a rather obvious statement. "I bumped into a house, you guys." More muffled laughter followed, while the other two fillies were still re-gaining their composure.

Once the two fillies were finally able to comprehend what had happened to them, Sweetie Belle gave the orange filly several agreeing nods, which clearly carried a tone of enthusiasm. "And it felt guh-reat!"

For some incomprehensible reason, Sweetie Belle glared at the wall with a very suggestive grin on her face. She walked the distance that had previously been covered in the recoil caused by her impact against the wall, and leaned against it with both her front hooves. She then positioned her face so that her muzzle was located mere millimeters above the surface of the wall between her hooves. "I wonder what you taste like…"

Her words caught her fellow crusaders completely by surprise. The look on Sweetie Belle's face, her composure and her last sentence made it all too clear what she was about to do. Scootaloo was visibly losing control of her sides, but Apple Bloom's jaw dropped, and she stood and stared at her light-grey Unicorn friend with impossibly wide eyes.

Sweetie Belle's lips parted in opposite directions and her tongue slid out of her orifice. Her oral muscle, which was unusually wet, approached, and made contact with the white coat of paint. Sweetie Belle kept her tongue in contact with the wall to savour the orgasmic feeling given to her by the discovery of a new taste. Sweetie Belle was clearly enthralled, considering the affectionate lick that followed. The motions of Sweetie Belle's tongue changed from a lick to many short swipes, which gradually sped up its movements, until it was hard at work at removing the dried paint from the surface.

Her hooves and tongue were now no longer the only parts of her body in contact with the wall. She was now leaning up against it in a way that only a bipedal creature would. Additionally, her front hooves were now spread out, as if she were trying to embrace the wall into a passionate hug.

Yet again, Sweetie Belle's motions sped up. At this point, saliva was leaking down from the spot under attack, all the way down to her chest. As if the current indicators of her enjoyment weren't enough, her hooves were now unpredictably stroking the wall, and she even started moaning.

Apple Bloom, who was still watching gleefully, started blushing furiously at the sounds of her friend. Scootaloo, however, had a completely predictable reaction. She had previously tried, and failed, to restrain all kinds of laughter during Sweetie Belle's session with the wall, but this sent her completely over the edge. Scootaloo succumbed to a completely unrestrained laughter-attack, causing her to tear up and to collapse off her hooves onto her back where she rolled around heartily. This was, without any reasonable doubt, the funniest occurrence she had ever observed.

Sweetie Belle looked like she had finally had enough. Panting, her hooves fell down to her sides, and her tongue, which was now partially covered with the powder of what had previously been dried paint stopped, although it did not recede into her mouth. Instead of dropping to her side onto her hooves, Sweetie Belle simply let gravity take hold of her until she fell down on her back next to the orange filly, breaking the thin strands of saliva that connected the upper parts of her body with the wall.

Sweetie Belle's tongue, which was now revealed by its slightly redder shade to be wounded, hung from the side of her mouth when she began talking.

"You guyth… that wall…" Sweetie Belle paused to catch her breath and to wipe the sweat of her face, "tathteth awethome."

"So… have you… have you…" Scootaloo stopped in mid-sentence in an attempt to drown her own laughter. "Have you had enough… 'Sweaty Belle?'" She finished in a mocking tone, which was followed by her laughing obnoxiously at her own pun.

The joke seemed to snap Apple Bloom out of her trance, although her blush was far from gone. She, along with Sweetie Belle, nervously joined in on the laughter, which was rudely cut short just moments later by a loud, elderly stallion that started shouting profanities out of an open window on the second floor above them.

"DAMN FOALS! GET OFF MY LAWN!"

The crusaders complied and giggled their way towards the exit of the lawn. Scootaloo even told him to "chill out," which was answered by a cluster of apples flying their way, prompting them to walk a tad faster.

On their way out, Sweetie Belle grabbed one of the apples that had been thrown at them, and begun chomping on it, even though its impact with the ground had crushed a sizable portion of it. The young Unicorn was clearly enjoying the apple to the fullest, which was made obvious by the gargling sound made by her throat.

The fillies hadn't noticed yet that the Sun had been replaced by the Moon a long time ago, which would've provided them with an explanation as to why the old stallion had been so grumpy. But the fillies simply didn't care about the time of day, or in this case, night.

Apple Bloom, who was trotting behind Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, couldn't help but notice how pretty the two fillies in looked in the moonlight. Their bouncing manes, their majestic tails, their mesmerizing motion of their haunches…

After a few minutes of mindlessly wandering around the center of Ponyville, the two fillies abruptly stopped, causing Apple Bloom to bump into the part of Sweetie Belle that she had almost begun fantasizing about.

Apple Bloom regained her composure and stepped forwards to look for the reason of their sudden stop. And she got her answer. Right in front of them stood a pitch-black cat, who looked very intimidated by the audience that suddenly gathered around it.

"D'aaaaaaaaaaaaaw!" Scootaloo exclaimed while making an adorable face.

Scootaloo approached the cat. She made an attempt to pick it up, but she instantly regretted it. The cat hissed and swung its paw at the orange filly, scratching her cheek, before running away.

Scootaloo seemed more disappointed than hurt. A few moments later, blood starting pouring out of three parallel cuts on the side of Scootaloo's face.

Sweetie Belle gasped. "Whoa, Scoots, is that blood?"

Scootaloo giggled. "Does it look like blood?" She asked rhetorically.

Scootaloo was about to laugh, but to her surprise, Sweetie Belle practically jumped on her. They wrestled there for a while, laughing maniacally, until Sweetie Belle finally managed to pin Scootaloo to the ground.

The situation made Sweetie Belle feel something she had never felt before. The feeling of being in complete control, of being able to do just about anything she wanted to somepony felt amazing. She was in the perfect situation, and she was going to use it.

Scootaloo was unsure what was happening, but Sweetie Belle's bloodshot eyes staring at her bleeding cheek made her somewhat uncomfortable. To make matters worse, Sweetie Belle opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue, and her head started advancing towards the injured area of Scootaloo's cheek. A shiver went down Scootaloo's spine when Sweetie Belle's tongue began lapping up the blood on her cheek. But moments later, she broke into inevitable laughter.

Scootaloo panted in between laughter attacks while Sweetie Belle showed no signs of stopping. "Sweetie… it tickles! Stop it!" Scootaloo started convulsing violently on the ground, but Sweetie Belle was not about to release her grip on the defenseless Pegasus until she was finished with her.

The jaw-dropping scene of the two fillies wrestling for domination in front of Apple Bloom triggered all kinds of new feelings and emotions that she had never experienced before. Feelings and emotions that made her feel warm and sweaty in all kinds of places.

"This… this is strangely satisfying…" Apple Bloom thought to herself as drool started to leak down her muzzle.

Much to Apple Bloom's disappointment, Sweetie Belle stopped forcing herself on Scootaloo, and released the still-laughing filly.

"Enjoying yourself, Apple Bloom?" Sweetie Belle asked, noticing how the filly was looking at them.

"I, um…" Apple Bloom stuttered as the colour of her face slowly turned to that of a tomato.

Scootaloo's laughter finally diminished, allowing her to speak. "Oh man, this stuff is really messing us up…" Scootaloo said, obviously referring to the substance wrapped inside the white object that they had previously sucked on.

An awkward silence filled the atmosphere for the next few minutes. This had certainly been an eventful day, but their crusade was not yet over.

Sweetie Belle broke the silence. "Hey! I can see Fluttershy's cottage from here! Let's go!"

Apple Bloom yawned. "Nah. It's awful late. Mah sister'll start fumin' if Ah don't get home soon."

Scootaloo gave Apple Bloom an agreeing nod. "Now that you mention it, it is really late. I better get going too."

The three fillies said their goodbyes and waved each other off as they went their separate ways. Sweetie Belle however, was not satisfied with ending her day of crusading at this point. She still didn't have her cutie mark. She still had a duty to fulfill.

There was still a pig that needed to be tasted.

On her way to Fluttershy's cottage, the young Unicorn couldn't help but wonder what a pig tasted like. Salty, perhaps? Or maybe more on the sweet side? Maybe it wouldn't taste good at all.

Impossible. Everything she had tasted, including the air itself, had tasted better than she could ever have imagined after she inhaled the magical smoke.

She had arrived at Fluttershy's cottage. She briefly considered knocking on the door, but decided against it when she noticed that the lights were off, not to mention she would probably not be all that happy about the purpose of her visit. So she simply walked around the house until she reached the area between the cottage and the Everfree Forest.

And right there inside a muddy area stood a huge pig in all of its glory. The pig was smaller in height than an average Earth Pony stallion, but it was nearly as wide as it was tall, which made it look so heavy that its ability to walk was questionable at best. The look on its face was the look that told a story of decades of pain and hardships, although to the intoxicated Sweetie Belle, it was nothing more than a sad frown. The pig was a very light shade of pink, although it was partially covered with mud. It had flaccid ears, thin legs, a long snout, a very silly-looking curly tail, and small, brown-ish eyes.

Sweetie Belle was so excited at the sight of the delicious pig that her upper eyelids nearly curled up into her skull, never to be found again. Her mouth opened, her tongue stuck out and she happily bounced towards the pig, drooling all over the ground below her. Upon her final landing, Sweetie Belle slowly approached the pig, inhaling the smell of the creature. In direct contrast to the Unicorn filly, the pig looked very uninterested in the invasion of its area.

Grinning devilishly, Sweetie Belle eyed the pig's rump.

"Let's have some fun…"