[Blazing's Entry]
Damn, that was close. Any normal explanation would revolve around a heart-attack or something similar but that wasn't it by any stretch of the imagination. I think it was a warning that my course of action was too wrong. Being a hostage to something feels pretty awful though.
Your understanding of the situation is disgusting.
No, I don't care. I don't care what happened, I don't care who you are and most of all I don't care about what you want. I am me and I chose to try things out with that crazy batpony.
I will make you listen.
Shut up, she's weird! Even you can't deny that. Who would try to hump you in the bathtub without knowing you? What's wrong with her? I can't deny she's hot in a strange fashion if I discount the creepy wing bits but I wouldn't give her ten out of ten.
She's the best pony in the entire creation.
Maybe for you she was, not for me! I don't know her and she doesn't know me. She's in love with, I guess, you but you're supposed to be gone so why don't you just disappear and let me live my life?
This isn't your life, it is mine.
No, you're gone, you're amnesia or whatever. You're a headache that has no reason to exist anymore. You're a memory that's dragging me AND her down.
I won't let you hurt her and I will claw myself from the depths of Tartarus if I have to. She deserves to be happy.
What's so special about her? She's just a batpony. Nothing more, nothing less.
She's the only pony who has ever believed I was worth a second look. She is the only reason for my life and as long as she's not completely happy I will keep coming back to make her smile.
I want to try things out with her, that's the best I can do now.
I'll be back.
[End Entry]
No reason to sugarcoat it, I'm freaked out. I almost died yesterday and while I feel completely fine physically the magic I 'possess' is definitely not mine. The thing is that no matter all that I really hurt the crazy batpony. Yes, she needed a bite of reality sandwich but after all that she toned everything down and the bath, while awkward, was more than enjoyable.
Yes, she's a nice mare. Deep, deep, deeeeeeeeep down I mean. No, I'm not saying that because my past self will try to kill me again if I don't. Well, she'll be coming back from the asylum soon so I might as well try to make myself useful and cook dinner. Hitting a little snag right at the start might be enough to discourage somepony but-
It's oatmeal, HOW CAN IT BE ON FIRE?
Good, adding milk softened the blow and it's calm now. Bubbling but calm. Let's not try my luck further and go for some hayburgers. Putting some pre-prepared hay blobs on a frying pan and just lighting the gas stove can't go wro-
MY FACE, IT'S CHEWING MY FACE!
Aaaand back on the pan you go, you little bastard. I have no idea how can a raw hayburger try to lay eggs in my brain but for a second there I really felt violated both mentally and physically.
NOT AGAIN!
This time I react fast enough and slap the flying burger into the oatmeal where a mass of black tentacles drags it below the bubbling surface. In reaction to my rapidly narrowing eyes the entire bowl seems to move backwards.
"Hey, did that bowl of oatmeal just burp?" a cheery, yet reserved, voice greets me from the kitchen door.
"Maybe."
"Phew," Choking wipes her forehead in all seriousness, "For a second I thought I swallowed some patient's meds by mistake."
"Be quiet," I hiss at the grumbling dinner and smile at Choking, "Well, as it turns out I'm not that good at cooking."
"Cool, can't be worse than mine though."
"That, and I use that term loosely, food," I point at the bowl, "just ate a hayburger that tried to mate with me."
"Shoulda said ya were taken already, that usually helps," she just waves her hoof.
"Wait what? You're not bothered at all that my food would make Tartarus demons pray to Celestia for redemption?"
Instead of explaining she just walks over to the kitchen counter-
A deep rumble resonates through the ground and a raspy voice from underneath our hooves recites.
Klaatu.
Choking picks up a single egg and a bowl-
Barada.
Cracks the egg which spills its contents that begin levitating in the air-
Nikto.
A mass of black tendrils shoots out of an appearing pentagram on the floor burning with ethereal cyan flames and snatches the egg.
Choking, completely unphased, asks:
"Omelettes?"
I scream and throw the oatmeal into the pentagram which disappears with a 'poof'. Looking like I've just been shocked by high voltage, I point at the floor with my mouth soundlessly opening and closing.
Choking grins.
"Let's say neither of us is a good cook and order takeout?"
"Gnnngh," I can't unglue my mouth so I just nod my head.
"Great!"
I've never had chineighese food but Choking is apparently a huge fan and a well-known one at that. As a common customer they gave her a little silver chime that allows her to order from a distance and it works its magic this time. The kung-pao celery smells great up until the point when I open the little package and a black slime jumps out of it at Choking's dinner.
"No! Bad eldrich horror, shoo!" she yells.
I can't stand her tearing up eyes and wibbling lip so I stand up.
"I'll go make us some sandwiches."
She nods and throws the paper bags out of the window where they explode and begin eating through the cobblestone road.
"Oh, wait wait wait. Wanna snuggle a bit tonight?"
"After an evening like this? I'm sorry but it's still too early for me."
"Oh," she twitches, "Well, crap. I forgot to give miss Pearl her medication."
"Can't the night shift take care of that?"
"They don't know about it and I really don't want to find her impaled on a ficus. Don't worry about me, I'll be back soon," she runs out of the door.
She definitely doesn't come soon, at least not while I'm awake.
Waking up to ash and dust, I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust. I also yawn loudly and after my coughing fit ends I curse the dusty room. Choking hasn't gotten to cleaning the upper floor yet and my stubborn refusal to sleep downstairs with her is costing me. It's dusty, it's cold but I have some sort of privacy if I count out the fact that there is an another batpony sleeping across the room from me inside a closet.
It's the little details like these that make life interesting, I guess.
Soooo... my plans for today are... they might include...
Well, the house isn't breaking into pieces as I found out during past week so I guess I could try to be as useful as I can. Choking left me some money in case I wanted something but all I really want now is not to be a freeloader. The attempt at cooking will never be mentioned again. Now, I could try to find some no-experience job but that might be pretty difficult in this small town and would probably involve just hauling stuff. If that's the case then I might as well just stay here and deal with the furniture in the storeroom first.
Yeah, that sounds good. There's one thing to do first though - since I've got to plan the stuff before doing anything there's enough time to see Bright Eye for the scheduled visit. Putting on a red sweater Choking bought for me, I decide to head for the asylum.
It's early so I write a note informing Choking, who is probably having breakfast at the Sugarcube Corner right now and will bring something back home before going to work, that I'll be out and leave.
I haven't been here since that fateful day and the atmosphere inside makes me look carefully at every door but my nerves stop annoying me when I reach Bright's office.
"Ah, my mysterious patient, come in!" Bright Eye smiles and scratches his head.
He is waiting for something but what?
"Good morning, doctor. You wanted to see me when I settled in so here I am."
"Yes yes, how do you feel?"
Great. Headaches, confusion, my magic trying to kill me, everything's juuuust fine.
"Eeh... it's alright, I guess."
"Oookay, what's wrong?"
Apparently I'm not the only one who can read others like a book.
"I would tell you but I don't want to end up here again."
"Now, saying that isn't really helping your case so just tell me what's wrong. I'm not going to tell anypony else, doctor's oath."
"Well, I sort of hurt Choking few days ago-"
Bright raises his eyebrow and scratches his chin. I immediately raise my hooves.
"-Nothing like that. I just told her that I wasn't the one she was in love with and she took it bad. What happened after that was that my magic acted up and almost killed me."
"Say again? The second part, I mean. I'll tell you something about the first thing after that."
"When I told her that my magic exploded the chest she was in-"
"Errrm, chest?"
"-She hid there to cry after I refused to have an erotic massage in the bathtub."
"I see."
"The explosion would have hurt her but the magic protected her somehow and sent the wood fragments at me."
"Everything?"
"Well, I felt like it was trying to tear me apart when it went wild."
"I'm sorry to say I can't really help you with magical problems. Anything else?"
"When I got home I got attacked by Choking's housemate by accident and I felt as if something else took over and got me out of there."
"That's bad... in more ways than the obvious one."
Exactly the wrong thing to say, dear doctor, to a patient who is internally freaking out just remembering the things.
"What do you mean?"
"First things first - I don't know about your past but you were supposed to be a very important persona non grata in Equestria. You'll really have to ask the details somewhere else but it seems to me like something is left from your past self and it's trying to get out. Unfortunately, you are in the way."
"What can I do?"
"No matter what, don't tell Darky."
"How come? It might help me get some info about myself from her."
"That's the other thing I wanted to get to. You said she took what you said really bad. Do you know she tried to kill me after I overheard her telling some things to you while you were still dormant?"
"Wow, what stopped her? When Doom Star attacked me she broke her jaw and bruised her really badly even when it was her fault."
"You did."
"What?"
"She seems to get very agressive and ruthless when you are in danger. Something seals away the cheery attitude and replaces it with cold steel. In other words, she's completely terrified of losing you and there's the REAL problem. If you tell her your past self might be coming back she could try to help it and you might not like the methods. Trust me, I'm a psychiatrist and I know what was used in the past to make the subjects remember. All she needs is the right book and you could be in serious trouble."
"Oh heavens, I need to get far away from her."
"I might have good news for you, she's not some crazy maniac. Your telling me about rejecting her helped me piece some things together. Do you know she was here last night?"
"Yeah, she said she forgot to give somepony medicine."
"That's not exactly the case. One could say she forgot her medicine."
"She's taking pills or something?"
"The 'or something' is a bit more correct. I'm not sure how to approach the subject."
"Well, I told you about me possibly going insane again."
"Fine, but don't interrupt me unless I tell you to. She was here to sleep with me last night."
"What?"
"Tsk, tsk," the doctor shakes his head, "Let me continue. Our friend has a condition that makes her love horizontal gymnastics a lot more than others do. Has she been distracted or twitchy recently?"
"Yes, she's been covering it up but since the storeroom incident she's been slightly irritated and distant but whenever I told her she just kept giggling and saying everything's okay."
"I thought so. Yeah, it exhibits the same signs as any other addiction."
"Can you do something for her?"
"More than I did last night? No, I can't, she explicitly asked me not to. She said it helped her find the right coltfriend. The only one who didn't mind was you, past you, and she said the condition went away whenever you were around which tells me the whole thing isn't really about sex but maybe just a remaining influence of past trauma, it usually is the case."
It dawns on me.
"So when I told her I wasn't the one she knew she relapsed."
"Exactly. So... how does it make you feel?"
The desire to punch the doctor that appeared the moment he told me he slept with Choking is still there but not significant.
"Truth be told, I wanted to punch your teeth out at first but since you're doing this basically as a good friend I really can't."
"I would be lying if I said it was just that. Darky is amazing in that respect. It is a bit unsettling that I sometimes can't help thinking about the unusually high number of those who helped her get her experience but that's life."
"Thanks, now I want to punch you again."
"I would think your magic would have something to say about that," Bright grins mischievously.
Oh... oh? Yeah.
"Wow, how is it that you're not being set on fire or anything?"
"Darky told me past you was fine with her sleeping around and from what I guess you are attuned to some of your previous experiences. Your body reacting on reflex while you were attacked and such."
I have to focus on this one. I really did want to punch the doctor but that was just me being... jealous? Why, because he slept with somepony I wasn't even sure I wanted to be with? Yeah, that's nonsense, that was just stupid male jealousy and pride.
So... deep down... as far down as the magic goes...
"I was... happy? Happy that she's satisfied?"
The doctor writes something to his little notebook.
"I think I would have wanted to meet past you. He might have helped me get a perspective on my wife leaving me for a younger upgrade, or maybe even prevent it. Well, I don't see a reason to keep you here. If you need anything I'm here every day and don't forget - don't tell her about things, at least for now. Either you will remember everything and then you'll know what to do or your past self will disappear completely eventually."
"Thanks, doc."
I get up to leave.
"Just one more thing. It would help you to trust her. I know it must feel weird somepony knowing more about you and your reactions than you but-"
He pauses for a bit and sighs.
"- don't let your fear stand in the way of possible happiness."
He sighs again.
"I need a drink."
"Bad memories?" I ask.
"Just memories," he smiles bitterly, "Memories from which I should have learned before it was too late. But that's not your problem. Have fun, young colt."
"Don't write yourself off, granddad," I grin, "If you've made a crazy, sex-addicted batpony happy for a while then I'm sure you'll find somepony again."
*Gulk*
"I think I threw up a bit in my mouth. Off you go!"
"Bye, doc."
Seeing Choking munching on a muffin in the asylum lobby, I smile and wave. As a reward, she blows me a strawberry flavored kiss. I really should just calm down and let things happen.