The Beast Within

by Arreis Of Avalon


Kindness And Rain

Discord sighed contently as he rested his head against the fluffy clouds around him. He drifted with them contently through the sky, watching time simply melt away. He was at peace. He cast no shadow, yet he hardly noticed; shadows simply tethered him to the ground below. He wanted to be free. He wanted to soar.

“Why do I want to do that again,” he asked no one in particular. An absent little smile filled his face, a smile of sheer bliss, yet of ignorance. “That’s right. I’m perfectly happy on my little cloud in my little sky.” He turned onto his stomach, resting his face in the fluff. He was happy, yes. He was living the life while his body was rotting away in the hospital room.

“Rotting,” said a familiar, soothing voice. He heard it often now. It sounded like Him; the Shadow. “Why, you think I would let you rot?”

Discord chuckled. “Of course not. After all, you’re very nice. You’re letting me stay here while you do all the work.”

A booming laugh echoed through the clouds. All at once, Discord saw the world begin to flood with rain. He saw lightning pierce the sky, and heard laughter turning to roaring thunder, merciless gales of wind. The world drowned in water, and all of the water tasted bitter; salty, even. Almost like tears.

Discord shook his head, trying to shake the image. Before him was a group of ponies, some crying, some confused. They all seemed vaguely familiar, but somehow, he couldn’t place any of them. However, when he looked at them, he felt something deep in himself - power? He felt stronger. Less content, however. What sort of power made him less content when he used it wrong?

Who said he had used it wrong?

Used what wrong?

The storm faded in a blink; What storm? There had been no storm. Discord smiled at the fluffy clouds around him, the sun shining above: not too dim, not too bright. It was perfect, where he was. He was perfect. Life was perfect. Death was perfect.

The salty rain that fell softly from his eyes; that was perfect too.

*~*~*~

The body lay, perfectly still on the white sheets. His eyes were closed, and his arms had been folded over his chest. They rose, up and down, as air rushed through his lungs. He still breathed. He still could move.

But he did not think.

Discord was nothing.

Fluttershy watched his body, feeling tears rising to her eyes. Her friends watched from outside the hospital room, concerned. They stayed behind, however – she had asked them to. Timidly, shyly, she had requested they stay back – ‘If you wouldn’t mind, of course’.

The nervous little pegasus trotted right up next to him. “D-discord,” she said hesitantly, knowing he would not answer. That didn’t stop her from saying it, though. She still hoped beyond all hope that he would answer her – her of all ponies, his closest friend. He would poof away and surprise her, and laugh about it with her after he had a serious talking to for scaring her like he had. He would wake up, she thought. He’ll wake up. He will.

Discord lay, still but for his breathing. He made no response to her saying his name.

“I-I don’t know if you can hear me, Discord,” she admitted, tears beginning to roll down her face. “But what we’ve shared over the time I’ve known you has been wonderful… I-I hope you wake up, Discord. I want my friend to be safe.”

No response.

She smiled softly and placed her hoof on his claw. It felt cold. He felt very cold. “O-Oh my… Here.” She gently pulled the sheets up to cover his body. “There now,” she said, smiling as she ignored the tears falling at her hooves. “Y-You’ll warm up quickly. I just know it.” She gently patted his head.

No response. His chest continued to rise, up and down and he breathed in softly.

“I-It’s okay, Discord,” she said, as though responding to something he had said in the silence between them. “You don’t have to say anything. I-I know you’re still alive. I know you’ll wake up…”

No response. His chest wasn’t rising as fast, or at least it didn’t seem to be.

“R-right, Discord?”

Nothing.

“D-discord, answer me, please!...”

Silence.

“W-WAKE UP,” she cried out, surprising herself with the volume of her sudden shout. “D-Discord, please, wake up!!!” She hung her head over his body, disregarding the tears that fell on the sheets, staining them with little wet dots as they hit. “Wake up, wake up,” she repeated over and over again, sobbing.

She felt two hooves grab her. She jumped, hoping somehow that they weren’t hooves, but a claw and a paw that had grabbed her. She glanced behind her to see cyan hooves lifting her up. “Come on, Flutters… We should let Discord rest.”

Fluttershy sniffed, tears still rolling down her face. There was so much she wanted to say to Rainbow in that moment. That she was sorry for her outburst. She was sorry for sobbing. She was sorry that she was so emotional, and that she couldn’t take care of herself. She was sorry for everything she was, and that she couldn’t have helped Discord before this. She didn’t save him. She might have reformed him, but she still couldn’t save him from any of this.

But she didn’t say anything. True to her name, she shyly nodded, saying nothing at all. She left with Rainbow Dash in silence, her tears falling deafly on the hospital floors, like salty raindrops on a barren, empty land.

*~*~*~

Discord yawned as he felt his shadow join his presence again. “Yes, Shadow, what is it? I’m being… comfortable.”

“I’m sorry to disturb; I simply wanted to ask you something.”

“Yes, Shadow?”

“Well, we both know you’re asleep right now.”

Discord glanced back at his shadow. “Asleep? No, I’m awake. I’m wide awake, attempting to fall asleep.”

“Well, suppose you were asleep right now. That you were asleep, and you had to wake up soon.” Discord groaned, letting his face fall into the cloud, sending puffs of fluff floating around them. “Well, I was just thinking,” that smooth voice said, practically caressing Discord’s body in it’s softness, tenderness. “Why should you be forced to wake up, be forced to leave this wonderful place?~”

Discord pulled his face out of the cloud without much struggle, turning back to his shadow. “Hmm… Y’know, that’s a good question. Why should I? Nobody down there knows me, right? I’d cause terror, but… It’s such hard work to maintain that reputation…”

“My thoughts exactly! You see… I was thinking I could act for you, only until you’re ready to wake up of course.”

“Act for me?... I suppose you resemble me enough… Yes, you could take my place, and I could rest up and get over… whatever seems to be ailing me.”

“Don’t you remember? Tsk tsk tsk. You certainly need more rest if you’ve forgotten already, Discord.”

Discord sighed, resting his head back tiredly. “Then why am I sick again, Shadow?”

“Because you gave up fighting,” the voice said, lulling him into a seemingly restful, truthfully fitful, sleep. “You gave up fighting for ‘friendship’ a long time ago when you realized the truth; You would never be truly ‘reformed’. You were too easily tempted. So now you’ve given up… And because it hurt so much to give up, you’ve taken a break…”

The shadow chuckled as he let his double sleep. His red eyes shone in the daylight, and his body seemed dark despite the sunny warmth around him. “You’ve taken a break… and you forgot… But in your forgetfulness, you forgot about me... That ‘you’ you kept locked away for,” he gagged, “‘friendship’s sake’. Bah!” With a roll of his eyes, the shadowy Discord disappeared to begin his work.