Fragments of Memories
By Starwin
Chapter 08 – Voices Within
There was something terrible outside the train. It darted through the shadows of the trees and hid beneath the rocks in the fields. She hadn’t been able to see it. She didn’t even know what it was. But it was there, it was following her.
At first she hadn’t been paying any mind to the passing scenery. She had been lost in thought about things that no longer seemed to matter. However, a flicker of movement in the glass had drawn her attention. The strangest sensation overtook her. She felt like she had neglected to notice the most important thing in the world.
She had been watching relentlessly for the better part of an hour. So far she was no closer to finding whatever was chasing after her. It was fast, moving from one hiding spot to another before vanishing completely in the open daylight. And when the shadows of the trees returned, so did her pursuer.
Yet, as near as she could tell, there was nothing out of the ordinary outside the train. Nothing she could see, nothing she could find. Even still, the feeling simply wouldn’t go away. She knew it was there. She knew she was looking right at it and that it was looking right back at her. Whatever ‘it’ was though, she still had no idea.
Not knowing what it was didn’t stop her from searching for it. Again, her eyes swept over the landscape trying to spot the thing she couldn’t see. The sky was a clear blue, with the lightest wafts of clouds spaced like tiny islands. A great mountain filled most of the distant horizon and rolling green hills filled the space in-between.
At the moment, it was hiding again. It hadn’t gone away, that much she knew. But somehow its presence felt diminished.
She pressed her face against the glass as if this might somehow give her a better view. All she accomplished was making the glass all smeary and she was no closer to finding whatever it was. ‘It’ was right in front of her, hiding in plain sight – invisible but smoldering like an ember in her thoughts.
Darkness suddenly engulfed the sky. The mountain, the fields, the trees, the sun; they all vanished in an instant, consumed by pitch black night. She tumbled backwards from the window, her eyes wide with fear. This was… this was… a tunnel?
The moment of shock passed. It was just a tunnel. A silly, silly tunnel.
She let out the breath she had been holding and shook her head. She almost wanted to laugh. Nothing was following her. There was no danger outside the train that was fixated on her. She had simply imagined it, worked herself up… over…
Her thoughts trailed off as panic overtook her once more. Her breath caught in her throat. Her mind scrambled to make sense but failed. Only a jumbled mess of noise echoed in her head.
She had seen it. She had seen the thing that had been relentlessly pursuing her. It had truly been right in front of her the whole time. How it had taken her so long to realize seemed almost unfathomable, and yet, how could she have known? Only the darkness of the tunnel had at last revealed the truth to her.
A pair of unfamiliar mismatched eye stared into her from just beyond the darkened glass. They were looking at her just like she had been looking at them. She realized what the impossible sight she had been searching for actually was. It was her! That was her reflection in the glass! That horrible, twisted monster was what she looked like?!
It couldn’t be! It was wrong – a mockery of… them… self?
She opened their mouth to scream but only terrible absolute silence came out. It was like the whole world went suddenly and completely quiet. Sound stopped existing. The world stopped existing. She stopped…
“Are you… alright?” asked an impossible voice from the silence.
The words poked a hole in the heavy emptiness. Gradually, muffled noises began to return. At first they could only make out the faintest of sounds. They felt the rhythmic clatter of the train wheels against the metal tracks before they heard it. They could make out the low constant whistle of the air rushing passed the train. And they could also sense the unsettling quiet of the cabin around them.
Twilight Dash blinked, bringing a hoof up to shield their eyes. The light inside the train seemed unusually bright for a brief moment. Slowly the glare receded. An uneasy feeling made them shiver. They had the oddest sensation, almost like they were being examined from every angle.
The most unsettling part was that they were.
Nearly every passenger in the train car was looking at them. Some were whispering behind their hooves. Others simply stared with wide accusing eyes.
“Is everything alright, young lady?” asked a conductor that had come over to the seats.
“Yeah, we’re…” began Twilight Dash. They couldn’t bring themselves to say ‘fine.’ “We’re okay.”
“Alright everypony, you can stop stare’n,” said an orange mare with a cowpony hat. She had been sitting across the isle but now stood on her seat, trying to wave away attention. It seemed to work as most of the passengers finally went back to whatever they had been doing. However, some still snuck uncertain glances in Twilight Dash’s direction. The orange mare that had shushed everypony came over before she spoke to them in a low whisper. “You okay TD?”
“Why does everypony keep asking that?” demanded Twilight Dash. They couldn’t understand why every single strange pony they had come across today thought it perfectly okay to come over and talk to them!
“Darling,” said an unfamiliar white unicorn beside them. Twilight Dash jumped with a little start. They hadn’t even realized somepony was sitting there. They didn’t recognize her at all. Perhaps she had joined the train at the last stop? The mare next to them had a well groomed deep violet mane and immaculate white fur. They were surprised they hadn’t noticed her sooner.
“TD? Are you listening?” asked the radiant white unicorn sitting beside them. She had a discontented frown upon her face — as though she was upset that they hadn’t been hanging on her every word. In truth, they hadn’t heard any of it.
“Uh… no…” answered Twilight Dash honestly. “Sorry…”
“Well, I said you scared us all half to death,” explained the white unicorn again.
“What? What are you talking about?” asked Twilight Dash in confusion. They pulled away slightly from the half-crazy unicorn. Desperately they searched for a familiar face, or a place to escape from the insanity around them.
At last they found Spike sitting in the isle seat across from the white unicorn. They leaned forward to whisper to him. They didn’t want the others around them to hear. That strange orange earth pony hadn’t left yet and now a pink earth pony was coming too.
“Spike, what’s going on?” whispered Twilight Dash. “Who are all these crazy ponies?”
“These are your friends TD!” cried Spike, much more loudly than Twilight Dash would have liked. “You… you screamed…” said Spike, looking extremely worried. “Don’t you remember?”
“What? No we didn’t!” insisted Twilight Dash. “We were just looking out the window at the… something…” They trailed off as they glanced back out the window. What had they been looking at? They felt like they could almost remember it. There had been… a something…
Their eyes traveled across the barren rocky landscape. There were no trees outside. Oddly, for some reason, they had expected to see trees. Instead, patches of early snow and dark gray mountain boulders made up most of the nearby scenery.
“Wait, that’s not right,” mumbled Twilight Dash to themself. They pressed their face against the glass, trying to look behind them and back down the tracks. “When did we get all the way up here?”
“We’ve been on the mountain for over an hour,” said Spike. “Maybe you just drifted off to sleep and had a bad dream?”
“Sure…” replied Twilight Dash in an uncertain murmur of agreement.
They must have just fallen asleep. Yes, that had to be it. After all, the train was boring. Looking out the window was boring. And they really hadn’t been sleeping all that well anyhow. A nap made perfect sense.
Except, they knew that wasn’t true. They hadn’t drifted off. It didn’t feel like sleep at all. It felt like the missing party all over again. One moment they were doing one thing. The next moment, they were someplace completely different, left with no recollection of the time in-between.
There had been something, but it wasn’t the same as sleep. And it had not been like waking up at all. It felt more like… more like they hadn’t even existed a moment ago.
A shiver ran down their spine and they wrapped their hooves around themself as their body trembled. They closed their eyes, trying to think back, to remember just what had happened between the trees and the mountain. But there was nothing there, just empty memories of darkness.
“Spike, did we, uh, do anything before we screamed?” asked Twilight Dash. Spike thought for a long moment.
“No,” answered a butter yellow pegasus sitting in the window seat beside Spike. Twilight Dash gave the mare a strange look. What was it with strangers butting into their conversations today? First that orange mare across the way, then the white one sitting next to them and now this pegasus too? The pegasus shrank into her seat a little at Twilight Dash’s intense glare.
“I mean… you were just… sitting…” her voice trailed off into an incomprehensible whisper as she put her hooves up over her face.
“Uh, yeah, what she said,” answered Spike. “I think. I kind of wasn’t paying attention.” His eyes shifted unconsciously back to the white unicorn sitting beside them. They felt shocked by his behavior.
He had been sweet on Rarity ever since they had arrived in Ponyville. Now he was ogling this complete stranger? What would their friend think if she was here? What would she… They glanced at the white unicorn beside them. Now that Spike mentioned it, she did seem familiar somehow…
The thought slipped sideways as the train whistle blew. A moment later a voice spoke over the speakers.
“We are now pulling into Canterlot Station,” announced the voice. “This is our final stop, all passengers must depart…”
“Oh I need to go get my trunk!” cried the pink pony. She leapt into the air and zoomed off with a little puff of smoke that hovered in her outline for just a moment longer.
“…and hope you have enjoyed your ride with us. Thank you,” finished the announcement.
Canterlot, they were at Canterlot? So soon?
All over the car, ponies were getting to their hooves. The platform of the station took the place of the mountain landscape. Steam billowed across the wooden platform outside. It made the dozens of ponies that were waiting to meet their loved ones appear as if they were standing on clouds.
Ready to get off this train and get away from all these ponies that were crowed around them, Twilight Dash turned away from the window. However, the others that had been seated next to them did not move. They gave each of the ponies an uncertain glance, but they all just looked at her and smiled – somewhat awkwardly.
“Well… this is it,” said Twilight Dash, hoping they would catch on and leave. “Last stop.”
“Yep,” answered the orange earth pony. She didn’t move.
“Time to get off,” pressed Twilight Dash.
“Yes, at last,” agreed the white unicorn beside her. None of the ponies moved.
“I guess we should all, uh, get off now…” hinted Twilight Dash, trying to get them to go away. All the other passengers seemed to have taken the hint, the car was nearly empty now, save for the four ponies hovering around them.
“We’re waiting to give you a hoof,” said the shy pegasus sitting in front of her… Really-Shy, that… that was her name… wasn’t it?
“Got my trunk!” shouted Pink-Party, waving a hoof at the group. “Come on you slow-pony-pokes!”
“I don’t need a hoof,” she said at last. “I’m fine.” She got to her hooves a little unsteadily but she managed to stay upright. There was a buzzing in her brain and her thoughts felt unfocused. “I just need to get off this train.”
Clumsily, she pushed past her friends and stumbled towards the exit. The others didn’t pursue her and she didn’t look back at them. She rushed past Pink-Party, who simply blinked at her in surprise.
“She… she walked!” cried Apple-Hat from somewhere behind her.
However, in the next moment their voices were all lost in the noise of the crowd. She had made it outside, onto the station platform. It was packed with those departing the train and those waiting to meet them.
But who was she here to meet? Why had she come to Canterlot?
The crowd swept her up, carrying her like a stone in a river. She could hear voices shouting, but it wasn’t her name that they were calling.
And yet… she almost wanted to turn and look. It wasn’t her name being shouted but all the same, it felt like it was her name. She couldn’t explain it.
She was just about to turn and look for whoever was calling for not-her, when she bumped into two very tall, very armored, ponies. They were standing at the edge of the platform and they were glaring down at her.
“The Princess has been expecting you,” said one of the ponies. “We have a chariot waiting to carry you to the castle.” He stepped aside, holding out a hoof to reveal a dark blue chariot, adorned with sparkling silver stars.
A little uncertainly, she made her way towards it. A princess? Had sent a chariot? For her?! Why? She wasn’t anypony special. Surely they had confused her for some… pony… else…
“Twilight Dash!” called a voice way back in the crowd. There it was again. That strange name that felt like it belonged to her.
“Are you ready to depart, miss?” asked one of the pegasus guards.
“Yes,” answered Rainbow Sparkle.
“I don’t see them anywhere!” exclaimed Spike as he desperately searched the crowd from the vantage point of Applejack’s back.
“Me… ne… ther…” said Pinkie between bounces as she tried to jump higher and higher with each one.
“How could we have lost her?” cried Rarity. “How far could she really have gotten?”
The crowd was starting to thin as groups of ponies left the platform. Soon it was just the four of them standing beside the doors of the train. Only a few small groups remained, but Twilight Dash didn’t appear to be in any of them.
“Wait, where is Fluttershy?” asked Applejack, glancing around. “Don’t tell me we lost her too!”
“No, I’m here,” answered Fluttershy. She descended slowly before landing gently on the platform. “I thought being higher might give me a better view.”
“Well, did it?” asked Spike, leaning forward and pushing Applejack’s hat down over her eyes. “Did you see TD?”
“Yes, she was leaving in a chariot pulled by some guardsponies,” answered Fluttershy. “I think they were headed towards the castle. I tried to call out to her, but I guess she couldn’t hear me.” Applejack tilted her head to the side so she could peek out form under her hat.
“Spike, do you mind getting off’a me?” asked Applejack.
“Oh, right, sorry,” apologized Spike. He straightened her hat first before hopping down to the ground.
“TD left?” said Pinkie, her ears drooping slightly. “Without us?”
“Maybe she just thought taking a chariot would be better than walking,” suggested Spike with a shrug. “She hasn’t really been doing so well at that lately.”
“I dunno, she looked like she was doing just fine without our help,” said Applejack, sounding a little annoyed.
“Applejack!” exclaimed Rarity. “They are our friends!”
“Are they? Is she?” snapped Applejack. “Do we even know that pony anymore? Does she even know who we are? She just left us, standing here like fools.” Rarity covered her mouth in horror. Pinkie’s eyes widened in shock and Fluttershy hid whatever she was feeling behind her mane.
“I don’t think I shoulda come along,” continued Applejack after a moment. “I thought it was the right thing to do. Ya’know I support my friend and all. But that pony… she looks at me, and she don’t even know who I am. She don’t even know who she is…”
“She… she looks at me the same way,” said Fluttershy softly.
“What, Fluttershy, not you too!” cried Spike. “Come on you guys, you can’t turn your backs on her now!”
“Applejack is right,” continued Fluttershy staring intently at the ground. “We don’t know that pony anymore. We call her Twilight Dash, but she really isn’t either of them. I know we all want to help our friend… but that pony isn’t Dash.”
“You’re absolutely right,” snapped Rarity, a bitter, angry note in her voice. “They are Twilight Dash! Both of our friends! You can’t just abandon them. Not when they need our help the most!”
“It don’t seem like they really want or need us,” said Applejack solemnly. “I’m sorry. I just can’t… I can’t do this no more… I can’t pretend that I look at her and see my friends there. I’m sorry.” Applejack turned away from her friends. Determinately, she began to walk away. Fluttershy gave her friends one last look, then hurried to catch up with Applejack.
“Wait!” cried Pinkie holding out a hoof. "You guys can’t just leave! We came here together! On a mission!”
“Let them go,” said Spike, his voice oddly calm but his whole body shook with rage. “It’s not like Applejack ever really wanted Twilight back anyhow.” Applejack stopped in her tracks. She shot a dangerous glare back at Spike.
“What’d you say?” growled the earth pony. Her eyes narrowed, as if daring Spike to say one more word.
“You heard me!” bellowed Spike. His sudden change in volume caught everypony by surprise. There were rage filled tears starting to water at the edges of his eyes. “I heard about the hospital. I heard how you voted for Dash to live and Twilight to die!” The almost empty platform went completely silent except for Spike’s seething anger. “You guys didn’t even tell me what was going on! You didn’t even ask me to be there! Do you have any idea what it was like for me?! Not knowing what was happening to Twilight at all! You didn’t even think to tell me! I didn’t even matter! Do you have any idea how important she was to me!”
Applejack’s hardened expression melted away into shame. She turned and galloped away as fast as she could, with Fluttershy hurrying after her. But the sound of Applejack’s hoofsteps couldn’t cover up her sobs.