I feel weird even thinking this, but my eyes actually enjoyed the discomfort the florescent lights gave. With their electric buzzing and annoying brightness, they provided a sense of normalcy in an otherwise strange situation. But, like treating the pain of a bullet wound with a Tylenol, the small comfort did nothing to aid the stark reality of sharing a hospital hallway with a group of ponies. Have I mentioned how freakishly oversized their eyes are? Because they're fucking huge.
“What d'ya think yer starin' at?” Applejack still thinks she can be tough, and had my morals not prevented me from hitting a woman, I shudder to think what I'd do.
“A silly pony.” Celestia stifled a giggle at my joke. How did she get that? I don't care what explanation anyone can give for this, but I have my own suspicions about just how much the Solar Princess knows.
“Who's a silly pony?” Applejack had an incredibly small tolerance for my antics, well too bad. I'm riding a neurotransmitter high right now, and that keeps me from giving a fuck. I feigned ignorance for the sake of comedy, I shall continue the gag.
“I'm sorry, what?” Just a slight tilt of the head, and boom, instant, believable curiosity.
“Who is?” At that, Celestia choked a laugh down, she definitely knows about the show, or at least thing associated with it.
“You is!” I regret not learning the names and functions of every chemical used in the brain, because I want to thank whichever one is making me cackle like a madman. I am beginning to worry for what little sanity I have left, even I thought the joke was stupid, so why was I laughing so hard?
“Are you okay?” Twilight took a worried step towards me, why the one-eighty in behavior? Isn't she suppose to think I'm here to kill her? Thinking of that, why hasn't Celestia had her guards beat, capture, and torture me, all before she sends me to the moon for my transgressions? Because I've heard the moon is awful this time of year.
“I have no idea!” I just kept laughing, I rolled out of my chair. Tears poured down my face from the exertion, I can't breathe right now, my lungs are too occupied. It think I’ve finally gone off the deep end, I've never emoted this much in my life! Did I seriously just think the word emoted, is that even a word? I think it is.
A pain in my neck shocked me, just slightly. It was a needle, and judging by the slight stinging that permeated the area it was sticking, likely a syringe. Within a few moments my brain started to calm, they'd hit me with a tranquilizer dart, clever girls. The dosage must have been meant for a pony, because the drowsiness plateaued quickly, and left me very much awake.
“Thanks, I needed that.” I sighed a bit, maybe things would be okay, because that seriously scared the everliving piss out of me. I only fear one thing in life, and that is being insane, I even avoid substances that affect my behavior, just to stay myself.
“Trixie is confused by what just happened.” I think one of us was going to explain, but was interrupted by the door to Jay's room opening. Nurse Redheart, I think it was, stepped out.
“He's fine, but we need to keep him overnight for observation.” Her professional attitude astounded me, after all, had the roles been reversed, I would be dissecting/vivisecting the hell out any unknown, sapient lifeforms I found.
“I'm glad to hear that.” Fluttershy took her love of animals to the extreme, didn't she? Regardless of the truth, the little situation returned to normal. However, there were still many questions hanging in the air.
“Taylor,” Celestia began. “Has that ever happened before?” I think she was referring to my episode.
“In truth, nope, that's the first time.” I could still hear a slightly manic tone in my voice.
“Why do you think it happened?” Celestia seemed worried, but why? She has no need alliance with me, regardless of how she behaves. This must just be an act, an attempt to force my guard down, make me complacent.
“I think the reality of my situation caught up with me.” I leaned against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. I couldn't stop myself from chuckling at the premise, seriously, I'm in Equestria! This has to be the most fucked up thing that has ever happened to me, or at least in the top ten.
“I suppose grim epiphanies can have that effect.” Celestia was either trying to understand, truly understood, or was faking in order to make my capture easier. I shook my head to clear the foolish thoughts from my head, if she wanted me captured, she would have done it already.
“Ah don' get what's goin' on.” Applejack was still stern, but seemed to allow curiosity to color her judgement. “Ah mean, first we get that Jay feller, an' he says the two of ya' worked together, but now ya' want us dead.” Applejack was the Element of Honesty, so perhaps she could pick up on Jay's lies, or at least his inconsistencies. “Then, you show up outta nowhere, armed, an' try to say ya weren't meaning no harm, then Trixie,” The farmer pointed at the showmare, who huffed in response. “Says ya' pummeled a manticore an' saved 'er life. Nothin' 'bout this whole day is makin' any sense!”
“Applejack, you're dealing with humans, we never make any sense.” I said that like it was the most normal thing in the world, and to me it was.
“Humans really are with Discord, aren't they?” I rolled my head back and laughed at Twilight's question. It wasn't the manic laugh of a madman, just one of enjoyment. Why is this madness fluctuating so much? I thought that when you go crazy, you stay crazy, or maybe I was always crazy. It probably doesn't matter, every explanation is the same.
I quieted down, and everypony kept looking at me, expecting some form of denial, or justification, any reason for my behavior. There was none to be found, and I knew they would be disappointed at the lack of explanation. It was silent, save the buzzing lights overhead, and I did did what I do best: figure things out. Now, what had I noticed before my little episode of mania?
Applejack looked angry, but there was nothing she could do.
Twilight looked inquisitive, but nothing was out of the ordinary.
I wasn't looking into Fluttershy's eyes, so the Stare couldn't be to blame.
Celestia looked deep in concentration, her horn was glowing, but very faintly. Ding ding ding, we have a winner, folks! At the realization, Celestia perked up a bit, and provided confirmation. She didn't know everything, just bits and pieces she'd picked up from me, by reading my mind. No wonder it had the effect it did, I've kept things bottled up since I was, what, like eleven? When she opened my mind to see what I felt, she opened the floodgates, every joy and sorrow, every bit of love and hate, just came pouring out, and manifested in insane, abrasive laughter.
Perhaps, but everypony feels the effects of this spell differently. That voice, speaking directly into my head, was Celestia's. I'm actually quite amazed by how little you have in the open, lots of thing you'd like to stay hidden, I take it?
The mind is sacred, I do not enjoy you trespassing, Princess.
This is merely my way of ensuring your honesty, I’m not here to pry.
How much have you learned?
Oh, relax, I’ve avoided the Internet portions like the plague, I learned my lesson last time. Was she purposely giving me this much, or was she unable to control what she said? No, I meant so say that, and by the way, even if you don't want me to hear it, I know what you're thinking.
You have ten seconds, this is you're only warning.
Until what, massive mindscream? There isn't much a human can do like this, but if it means so much to you, I'll leave, on a condition.
The clock has stopped, what is it?
You are completely honest with me and my subjects
Commencing massive porn dump in three... two... Celestia, in her wisdom, cut the connection. The Solar Princess' coat was paler than usual, though there was a slight, pink tinge on her cheeks. Well, I did send a small sample before resuming the countdown, pretty tame by my standards.
“Oh, lighten up, Princess.” I laughed a bit, completely sane, and a bit loopy from the tranquilizer dart. “I agree to your terms.” I thought for a moment, piecing together what I’d need to explain.
I'd start from the beginning. That tickle in my frontal lobe, the Princess couldn't leave me alone. I get the hint, fine, but remember your agreement. I sighed as she cut the connection again. It seemed she made my lesson for me, saved me some work, at least.
“Alright, everypony take a seat. It's story time.”