//------------------------------// // Canterlot WHAT?! // Story: I Killed Fiddy Men, Not Ponies // by LtMajorDude //------------------------------// As rain began to pour over the mountains, Alexander entered into the caves where his companions are. Christian yawned as he slowly got off the giant rock he was napping on. Takashi was leaning against the wall, holding his knife with his hoof. Joshua approached Alexander. "About time your ass came back," Joshua grumbled, "You got the stuff?" Alexander nodded as he put down the saddlebag he had with him. Aura appeared from his horn as he used his magic to levitate a black book in front of his companions. "So, what is the plan?" Takashi asked as he put away his knife. "We still gotta get rid of Cotton for good," Alexander explained, "From what I heard, this book should rid of him. I don't know what it does, but if it can rid of Cotton, then that's fine by me." Christian stretched his legs, "When do we leave?" Alexander put back the book inside the saddlebag, "NOW." Cotton lying on his bed, sleeping. He let out soft snores, which were the only sounds during the night, besides the quiet sound of the wind. Eventually, faint hoofsteps were heard. Cotton, who was still sleeping, didn't pay attention to the sound. However, the hoofsteps were getting a bit louder as time passed. Cotton opened his eyes and quickly observed his room. Cotton took a while as he slowly turned his head to observe more. Eventually, he let out an exhausted yawn and went back to bed. Mah imagination... Cotton yawned loudly as he opened his eyes, only to close them back due to being tired, despite having a long night's rest. He slowly removed his blankets and calmly got off his bed. He carefully rubbed his eyes. He stopped rubbing them when he realized one thing. He no longer had a hoof. He opened his eyes a bit, only find out that he had his hand back. In fact, he discovered that he was once again a human. Cotton blinked rapidly as he looked around his room. To his surprise, he found a brown uniform on top of a brown wooden desk that was next to his bed. He walked up to it and saw a license card on top of the uniform. Cotton raised an eyebrow when he realized that his face was on the card. "Cotton Hill...Janitor?!...Canterlot High? What the hell?" Cotton widen his eyes when he remember that Dale once ranted about an 'Equestranauts Girls movie.' All Cotton knew was that there were colorful humans, most of the ponies that were in the show are now humans, and that there was a red demon. Cotton honestly didn't care about what Dale ranted about. At least Cotton was a human again. Sighing, he put on the uniform and exited out of the room. "A house, huh?" He said as he examined the hallway, "Nice. By mahself. What more do Ah need?" His question was answered when he saw some car keys next to a driver's license that had Cotton's face on it. "Hell yeah." Cotton had trouble not grinning as he drove his red car to school. Despite the fact that it looked like an ordinary car on the outside, it was the inside that sold the deal. Cotton discovered that the car was complete with a DVD player, seat warmers, a fully-functional air conditioner, and a built-in GPS. He used the GPS to find where the location of the school is. Cotton rolled down the windows to get a good look of the school. He dropped his jaw when he saw that a majority of the students were multi-colored and looked cartoonish. Shrugging, he closed back the windows and drove to the parking lot, oblivious to a certain screaming teenager who was purple. Cotton left his car and entered into the school. Some students greeted him politely, which made Cotton assume that, somehow, he had been doing this job for a long time. What surprised him was meeting some 'familiar faces,' such as Big Macintosh, which Cotton called him Philip J. Fry, Diamond Tiara, which annoyed Cotton a bit, and the Crusaders. He eventually found the principal's office and entered it. There, to his surprise, he saw a white-skinned woman sitting at her desk. Cotton realized that it was Celestia. She's actually kinda hot, Cotton admitted. Celestia smiled at Cotton, "Hello Cotton. You're early. You can have some time off before you have to mop the floors." Cotton nodded, "Thanks...Ah guess." "Oh, and tell your son I said hi." Cotton froze, "Mah son?" "Yes, you know, Hank Hill? Friends with Bill Dauterive, Dale Gribble, and Jeff Boomhauer. Doesn't get along with Kahn Souphanousinphone." "Mr. Kahn?" "Yes, Kahn. You know, the kid who gets in trouble with Mark Walsh and Ben Long?" "Um...Ah'm gonna leave." Cotton immediately exited out of the office, a frantic look on his face. Alright, he thought, So apparently mah son and his friends are here... He didn't notice where he was walking as he accidentally bumped into a teenager. "Hey!" She yelled rudely, "I'm walking here!" Cotton turned around and saw an angry teen with red and yellow hair. Cotton just snorted. "Whatever." "Don't you whatever me, you...dirty ol' SHIN-LESS FREAK!" Cotton seemed to be offended by her words. She noticed this and smiled devilishly. "That's right, Cotton. I called you shin-less. Because calling you a midget or a circus boy wouldn't have any effect, don't you agree?" She rudely shoved him aside, enraging Cotton even further. "That whore..." He whispered as he walked away, "Well, might as well look around the school. Learn some info on these kids and scchool. Ah'm sure this mopping thing won't be a big deal." Cotton dropped his jaw when he saw the floors were dirtier then he had imagined. He leaned his mop on one of the lockers as he checked how much he had to mop. The answer made him shocked even more. Most of the kids weren't here, so at least he was able to work in peace. Cotton let out a sigh as he grabbed his mop and slowly cleaned the floors. "Goddamn kids," he muttered bitterly as he took some time to scrub off some dirt that was stained on the floor, "Even HERE the teens act like jackasses..." As he mopped the floor, he heard a teenage girl talking with somebody. It caught Cotton's attention as he carefully eavesdropped on the conversation. "I want you to follow her. Bring me something I can use just like I did with that last girl who thought she could challenge me." Cotton let out a mischievous smirk. Sounds like something from those soap operas shows where the chick takes her top off, he thought. He heard a boy answer the girl. "You got it, Sunset Shimmer." Cotton raised an eyebrow. Sunset Shimmer?, he thought, Oh yeah...That annoying whore who made fun of mah shin-less legs. "When the crown and its power are mine," Sunset explained, "Twilight Sparkle will be sorry she ever set hoof into this world. Not that she would've been much safer if she'd stayed in Equestria." Cotton grin slowly faded. "What the hell is she talking about...?" He whispered to himself. "Yeah, in Equestria," the boy, whom Cotton identified as Snips, replied. "What are you still doing here?! Go!" Cotton shook his head as he continued to mop the floor quietly. "Oh," Sunset added, "And make sure you also take care of Hank and his friends, and Kahn, and, of course, that crazy janitor, Cotton." Cotton looked up with a surprised look on his face. "Got it Sunset!" "What about that Mark and Ben?" "Oh yeah, deal with them too! Get them expelled or something! Anything! And have that Cotton fired! Just keep them away from this school!" "That sounds a lil' extrem-" "I'm sorry, WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?!?!" "Um, nothing Sunset!" "Good. Now SCRAM!!!" Cotton let out a scowl as he tightened his mop with his hands. "Ass whupping time, bitch," he muttered as he walked away.